by Lund, S. E.
"Turn around," he commanded and I did, knowing what came next. I bent over and spread my thighs without him even telling me, gripping the safety bars once more and he entered me from behind, his length easily sliding inside of me, I was so slick from my orgasm. I thought he'd just fuck me quickly and come himself, but he didn't. He slid his hand around my body between my thighs and began to stroke my still very-sensitive clit while remaining still, his cock feeling so nice and big inside of me. His fingers were soft at first, but soon, he increased pressure as he began to thrust inside of me, very slowly, stroking inside the entrance to my body and a couple of inches so that he hit my sweet spot over and over again.
He was so good at this, it felt so good, so sweet that soon, I was ready to come again.
"Drake," I said, breathless once more, "I'm going to come again."
He didn't stop, just kept sliding inside of me just a few inches, his fingers never stopping their slow, agonizing tease. I was breathing rapidly, my body so close once more and I felt that any moment my orgasm would start. I tried to speak, barely able to get it out.
"Drake…"
"Come for me," he said, his voice hoarse. He started thrusting faster, entering me all the way. "Say my name when you come," he whispered, biting my shoulder. "Say my name."
I gasped as my orgasm started, the sensations so intense, jolts of pleasure down my legs and up into my belly. My face felt hot, and I had to grit my teeth.
"Say my name," he said again, his voice a harsh whisper.
"Drake…" I groaned as I shuddered, my whole body quaking.
He was right behind me. He pulled his fingers away from me, and gripped onto my hips, thrusting harder, grunting in my ear as he came as well, gasping with each thrust, pulling my hips against him. Finally, he stopped and just leaned against me as I bent over, still grasping the safety bars for support, my thighs now shaking.
"Fuck…" he gasped in my ear, his hands stroking underneath me, down from my neck and over my breasts, then to my pussy once more. "That was so good."
I clenched around him when he touched my clit and he groaned. He just stood like that for a moment, his cock still pulsing a bit inside me, his breathing and mine starting to slow. Finally, he slipped out of me. He turned me around and grasped my shoulders, bending down to kiss me, pulling me into his arms as he did. I just melted into him, trying not to think, trying to just feel him, feel this moment. The other moments when I had to face reality, when I had to face what Dawn sent me in her email, would come soon enough.
"There," he said, stroking my cheek. "That's two for one, I think."
I smiled and closed my eyes, biting back sadness that started once more when I thought about Dawn's email. "Are you keeping track?"
He leaned down and pressed his face in my neck, kissing me, and I felt his cheek rise in a smile.
"I'm greedy that way."
After we ate a quick breakfast in our room that Drake had ordered the night before, Drake went back to his own suite to prepare for his conference session. I sat alone in front of the open window and read my email, examining the copy of the restraining order.
It named Drake and was taken out by his former wife, Maureen. A temporary order of protection for "forcible touching" and "harassment". The order was dated almost five years earlier and I wagered it was after he and his wife split.
Forcible touching… Harassment…
Not quite what I thought at first. I thought he'd assaulted her. I could understand if a husband who had just been told by his wife that she was leaving him tried to touch her, tried to stop her from going through with it.
I could see Drake, maybe not quite understanding his Dominant nature, trying to control her and getting too insistent. I could see there being misunderstandings over this and a he-said she-said situation. Then I feared I was trying too hard to find an excuse for him. Maybe the split came out of left-wing for him and he freaked. It didn't seem like the self-confident controlled man I knew but perhaps he was really heart-broken by the split. Would he really hurt his wife?
Maybe that was what drove him to compartmentalize his life so carefully, keeping women at arm's length using submission contracts.
I sent Dawn a text.
Dawn, that was during his breakup with his wife of five years. He was probably upset and maybe overreacted but he wasn't cited with assault of any kind. He probably didn’t want her to leave him. He has mentioned how broken up he was over their split. Can't you understand that he is not dangerous? He is not into pain! He just likes control and I happen to like it when he takes control. Is our friendship worth nothing? Can't you give me the chance to prove to you that he's a good man?
She responded in a couple of minutes.
I have to follow my conscience. He likes to tie women up and fist them and anally fuck them, Kate. Doesn't that scare you? How much farther from that is rape? Even if you let him willingly, what's wrong with you if you want that? It's sick.
I sat and held my head in my hands, grief washing over me that she couldn't listen to reason. Was she going to actually try to ruin his career over this?
Don't do this, Dawn. Don't ruin him. He hasn't hurt me. He's only cared for me.
She replied right away.
I won't wait around until he does hurt you. Kate, this is for your own good. End it now before it goes any further and he either breaks your heart or hurts you for real. If you don't, I will send this to the head of surgery along with his FetLife profile. Do you know he calls himself Master D? I asked around the nurses at NYP and I heard an earful. They say he's a controlling bastard. Who knows what else I'll find if I have my PI dig a bit deeper… End it Kate. I don't care if you hate me. I have to do this to save you from even worse pain.
I didn’t respond. I just dialed Lara.
She answered on the second ring.
"Hey, Kate. What's up?"
"Lara, I'm in trouble. I need your advice as a lawyer."
"Uh, oh. Can I assume it involves Drake?"
"You assumed right," I said and related what happened. I didn't use Dawn's name but told Lara that it was someone who knew Drake in his professional life.
"What happened with his wife?" I asked, cringing, not sure if I wanted to know.
"Oh, that was overblown," she replied. "He tried to stop her from leaving the night she announced she wanted a divorce. He wanted to keep talking and she just wanted to leave. He stopped her physically. Didn't hurt her or anything, but by then, she was so cold to him, she didn’t care how he felt. When he persisted, calling her, wanting to get counseling, try to keep the marriage together, she took out the order of protection. It was only temporary, so no big deal. It wasn't a permanent order so the judge didn't think he was a real danger. Drake had been so busy with his work, with establishing his career, he didn't understand how far apart they had grown until it was too late. She just couldn't deal with him, had a new boyfriend and just sprung it on him out of the blue."
"Poor Drake," I said. I felt really bad for him.
"Christ," she said, sounding exasperated. "What did you tell Drake about this?"
"I tried to break it off with him last week, but he wouldn't accept it. He said he wants to stay together and that we would just be really discrete, but this person was able to find out that we were both in the Bahamas. She found a Private Investigator and did a background check on Drake. I didn't tell him any of this yet. I'm afraid for him."
There was a silence on the line. "I was a bit concerned about Drake. He's gone a bit native with you, Kate."
"What do you mean?"
"You know, a bit wild. Like the old Anthropologists when they stayed too long with the tribe. Not following his usual routine. He never sees his subs outside of the lifestyle. I don't know what he was thinking with you, but he saw you at the fundraiser, at your father's campaign fundraiser, at the concert, and now he's there. That really surprises me. He's not being sane about this. His reputation is far more important than training a potential sub."
"I tried to talk to him, but he's just not listening. How bad would it be if the existence of a restraining order was made public, say to someone in the hospital?"
"I have no idea, but it would depend on the optics of it and the person who received the information. Some people might completely ignore it. This happened five years ago after all. But add in the whole kink element, his profile at FetLife… That might be too much."
I sat and chewed my nail. "What should I do?"
She was silent for a few moments. "What do you think you should do?"
"I don't want him to be hurt because of me."
"Then end it."
I closed my eyes. "I already tried that."
"You didn't try hard enough. Listen, Kate. I know Drake Morgan. You want to end it with Drake? Tell him he doesn't do it for you. Tell him you don't feel it. Or better, show an interest in meeting another Dom who might be better able to get you to submit. Technically, he should have just kept things totally professional with you and not seen you outside of establishing this D/s relationship. He screwed up. You can use that, claim that he feels too much like a boyfriend, not a Dom."
"I couldn’t do that! He does do it for me. He knows that…"
"Kate, you two have only known each other for a few weeks. Just cut him off. Be mean. Believe me, there are any number of subs who would be entirely grateful to have a Dom like him. I'll set to work finding a replacement for you. She'll be there to assuage any sadness he feels over your broken agreement."
"You really think I should do this?'
She was silent for a moment. "I think that this shouldn’t have happened. I think whoever found out about you and Drake is an evil person to threaten this. I'm so sick of the public's ignorance of this lifestyle and intolerance. Drake is my close friend. I think you have to put Drake's career before your own hopes for this D/s relationship. He's a wonderful man, Kate. He does really wonderful work as a neurosurgeon. Don't let your desire for him ruin his life."
"I know."
We said goodbye and I ended the call. I sent a text to Dawn.
You win. I'm ending it with him tonight. I'll be back in Manhattan as soon as I can get a flight.
Then I cried my eyes out.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
While Drake did his presentation, I went with my parents for a boat ride, all the while holding back my emotions, forcing a smile for them every so often. After our trip, we came back to the hotel and there was a note from Drake saying he had a lunch with his colleagues but hoped to be back around mid-afternoon.
We went down to the restaurant and sat on the patio, eating our lunch in the shade of a huge umbrella.
"How are things, sweetie? You seem a bit… distant this morning."
I shrugged my shoulder. "Fine."
"Things OK with Drake?"
"They're all right."
"Just all right?"
"He's very self-absorbed."
"He's here to present his research, Kate," my father said, his voice a bit impatient. "He's probably just focused on his work."
"He's really a nice man," I said. "He's just always a bit preoccupied. I don't feel like he's really with me even when we're alone."
I sighed. I wanted to lay the foundations for our breakup with them so they didn’t fight me.
"He's a busy man," my father said. "He's busy now with work."
"I'm bored," I said. "I think I might go back early. Is there any way I can get my ticket changed?"
"Katherine!" he said, frowning. "What are you thinking? You just got here…"
"It's just not working out, Daddy. Maybe he's too old for me. I don’t know… I want to go out and party. He just wants to sit around and listen to music or watch television and I just don't do that. I mean, he was already in college when I was still in primary school."
My father just shook his head. He was not pleased and I'm sure he thought I was being a shallow bitch. My heart was breaking, but I knew this was for the best.
Later, Drake came to my room using the key card I gave him to enter my suite as I was lying on the bed. I was busy rehearsing in my mind what I was going to say to Drake and pretended to be sleeping. I had a plan in mind and it was a cruel plan. If Lara was right, I had to make Drake think he wasn't, as she said it, 'doing it for me'. That would be hard. It would require a real acting job on my part.
He came right over and laid on the bed beside me, pulling me into his arms. I pushed against him a bit.
"Drake, I was sleeping."
"Sorry," he said, stroking my hair. "I missed you all day. I've been thinking of you, planning what I was going to do to that luscious body of yours when I was finally finished with the conference, which is, now."
He nibbled my neck, and the touch of his lips sent a stab of pleasure through me, but I stiffened instead of melting into his arms.
"Not now," I said, pushing him away again.
He pulled back and leaned on his elbow. "What's the matter?"
I sat up on the bed and wrapped my arms around my legs. I yawned. "I didn’t sleep well I guess."
"I know how to wake you up," he said, that half-smile starting. He ran the backs of his fingers over the tops of my breasts and it made me shiver.
"Ow, my burn," I said, although my burn was quite good by then.
"Sorry," he said, frowning. He lay back on the bed, his hands behind his head. He just watched me for a moment. "What have you been doing?"
"We went for a boat ride and then had lunch. I've been sleeping."
"What would you like to do?"
I shrugged my shoulder again. "I don't know…"
He sat up closer, so that he was sitting next to me, and kissed my shoulder. "Kate, I know something's wrong. I can tell. What is it?"
I yawned again. "I don't know. I'm a bit bored, I guess."
"You're probably not used to leisure time, having nothing to do. Your father said you've been working like a dog for years, working on your degrees and for Geist."
"It's just that most of the people here are older than me. There's no one here my age. I feel like I'm in an old-folks home or something."
He just watched my face, a strange expression on his.
"Would you like to go out to a bar? The locals have some nightlife. Dancing."
I made a face. "Whatever." I actually didn’t want to go out somewhere. I wanted to just cry. "Not really. I don't know if I want to be out among the locals."
"Come here," he said, holding his arms out.
"Why?"
"I need to hold you."
I shrugged and climbed onto his lap. Of course, I felt incredibly sad doing so, because I wanted his arms around me, and I felt so sad about what I had to do.
He tilted my head up and just looked in my eyes, his face perplexed. "Kate, what's wrong?"
"I don't know," I said, trying to sound bored. "Just bored, like I said."
He kissed me, and I tried hard not to kiss him back, but he was insistent. He started to search my body with his hands, pulling me into his arms. I had to do everything I could not to respond to him. I thought about the ugliest things I could to stop my body from responding. I thought about the scent of dead bodies in the graves outside Mangaize. I pictured worms in a grave crawling through a decomposing body. I thought about never seeing Drake again, and a surge of sadness filled me, making my throat choke up.
Drake pressed me back on the bed and lay on top of me, his arms cradling my head while he kissed me, one of his knees between mine, pushing my legs apart. He kissed me intently, completely focused, his breathing becoming more intense. He pressed his hips against mine and I felt his erection. It felt delicious and my body couldn’t help but respond, so I thought immediately of Kurt, and how he scared me that night we broke up.
Finally Drake pulled back. He just stroked my cheek, silently giving up.
Then, his cell rang and he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the ID.
"Crap," he said. He answered. "Hi," he said and liste
ned. "Not tonight. No. I have something planned." A silence followed. "Sure," he said. "Tomorrow before the plenary. See you then." He ended the call and turned back to me, his brow furrowing.
"You really are tired," he said. "I'm not feeling the usual response in you."
I yawned and stretched. "Maybe," I said, wracking my brain for how to do this. "It's just so dead here. Nothing to do."
"I can think of lots I want to do."
"Yeah?" I said, keeping my face blank. "Like what?"
He smiled but it seemed forced. "Do I even have to say?"
"Oh," I said and crawled away from him, standing up. "That. I'm thirsty. I'm going to get a drink." I took my bag and went to the vending machine down the hall. I bought a drink, needing to get away from him, from his strong warm body, from the scent of his aftershave, the look on his face.
I just stood in the hallway and opened the drink, taking a sip, wanting to delay this, not sure how I’d be able to do it.
"Kate?" Drake leaned against the doorjamb. "You want to go somewhere?"
I shrugged and returned to the hotel room, walking past him, trying to avoid touching him. He followed me into the living room. I took the channel changer and switched on the television.
"Wonder what channels they get here?"
He sat on the couch, right in the middle, his arms outstretched on the back, just watching me as I stood and flipped through the lineup of shows.
"Come here," he said, his voice low. I turned and looked at him and he was so devastatingly beautiful in his white button-down shirt, open at the neck, his tan Dockers, black sandals. His hair was shiny and a bit wild, his jaw covered by a layer of stubble. I shrugged and put the channel changer down and went to him, sitting beside him. He patted his lap. "I mean here."
I sighed and climbed onto his lap, my hands resting on his shoulder. I bit my lip until it hurt to control my emotions.
"What?" I said.
"What's wrong?"