“Do you still have feelings for her?” she asked.
There was no way Kellan would be able to compete with the decades of shared history between Reese and Morgan. They’d been friends for years and then lovers for years after that. They spent time together every week and would likely always be close. Their relationship had ended not because of Morgan, but because of Reese.
“I didn’t think I did,” Morgan said. “She’s dated since she and I broke up. It never really bothered me until now. I could tell at football. Reese gets this look when she’s into someone. I used to see it when we were just friends. Then, I realized she was looking at me that way. I still think sometimes if she wouldn’t have gotten sick, we’d still be together. She started dating other women. Dating is kind of a strong word because nothing ever came of her time with anyone.” She looked into the trees but appeared to be reaching her eyes out beyond them; perhaps, to her kayak and freedom from this conversation. “I saw her looking at you like that on the beach. Then, you two went for your walk, and I knew she was interested.”
“So, you asked me out because…”
“Two reasons, I guess.” She moved to sit on the rock Kellan had previously occupied. “One, I think you’re gorgeous, and you seemed nice.” She gave Kellan a shy smirk at that revelation. “And two, because I knew she was interested. Petty, I know.”
“You wanted to try to get to me before she could?”
“I think there’s two parts to that, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re right. I wanted to ask you out before she could because I was jealous, but I also asked you out again after I caught you two together because I was testing you.”
Kellan moved to sit on the rock next to her and stared at the group of birds that were now nibbling at the granola bar bits on the ground next to them while chirping softly at one another.
“You wanted to see if I’d date you too?”
“I don’t know.” Morgan let out a deep sigh. “Maybe. It’s stupid, I know. Reese and I are exes. I loved her like crazy, but we’re friends now.”
“And you’re very protective of her. I can understand that,” Kellan replied.
“I should talk to her. I need to apologize.”
“I think you two need to talk about a lot of things,” Kellan suggested. Morgan turned to look at her. “I’m not trying to butt in or anything. It just seems like there’s some stuff you guys need to work out.”
“Probably. She’s kind of upset with me right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I asked you out again.” Morgan turned to the birds. “I knew she liked you, that you’d gone out; and I asked you out again. It’s a bad friend move. She let me hear as much when we talked.”
“She did?” Kellan couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Sorry,” she added when Morgan’s expression showed minor annoyance.
“I argued that you two had just met and weren’t exactly exclusive. Then, I may have said something about how she tended to enjoy non-exclusivity these days. She bit my head off and suggested I was calling her a slut. Then, she asked me to back off where you were concerned. I argued that that should be your decision. It was all very high school. I hate myself for the whole thing.”
“She asked you to back off?” Kellan tried to stop a smile, but it made its way out through her eyes by the look Morgan was giving her.
“You really do like her, don’t you?”
“I do.” Kellan lowered her eyes. “She’s different.”
“She thinks you are, too,” Morgan explained. “Just like high school; except your name isn’t Cora Howard, and we’re not currently sophomores.” She stood.
“Cora Howard?”
“The first girl that captured Reese’s heart. I hadn’t yet realized I was gay, but Reese knew she was. She asked me to pass messages back and forth to Cora in chemistry class. Cora was in an experimental phase back then. I think she got off on Reese’s feelings. They had a thing for like a month. It was all very secret because Cora’s parents didn’t allow her to date. It ended when they finally let her off her leash and she could go out with the boy she had a real crush on.” Morgan got serious in that moment and made sure to meet Kellan’s eyes. “I was there for her then. I held her as she cried because Cora had been her first. I held her after every breakup, after every time she declared her feelings to a woman and they weren’t returned. I held her when she was sick, Kellan. I was on one side while Remy was on the other. I held her hand when she was in that coma. I cried every night, not knowing if I’d ever get her back. Then, I cried every night because she didn’t want to be with me anymore. Even though that hurt like hell, we got our friendship back. I haven’t had to hold her like that since. I don’t want to ever have to hold her after a heartbreak again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
There was a magnificent weight to what Morgan had just expressed. Kellan wasn’t certain she could bear it. Morgan didn’t want Reese’s heart to ever be broken again. While Kellan knew she wanted the same thing, she wasn’t sure this early on if she’d be able to prevent that from happening. The two had only exchanged one kiss, but that kiss was the best kiss Kellan had ever had. It had pushed the memories of all others away while their lips had been connected.
It had wiped Keira Worthy from her mind completely even after they’d pulled apart. They’d spoken on the phone for over two hours before Reese finally allowed sleep to claim her. Kellan had listened to her even breathing on the other end of the phone for several minutes before she’d finally hung up. She knew she liked Reese, but she had no idea if she’d cause the woman pain when she left because they’d end whatever this was between them, or if she’d cause her pain later if they continued it long-distance and it got too hard.
“I understand,” she finally replied, because she did understand.
CHAPTER 15
“Oh, my God! What smells so good in here?” Reese asked the moment she entered the cabin.
“Don’t get too excited; that’s not lunch.” Kellan took Reese’s light jacket and hung it on the coatrack next to the front door. “I know I technically agreed to cook something for lunch, but I thought we could do sandwiches instead and that you could stay for dinner.” She turned to see Reese standing in front of the sofa, smiling at her. “I made a roast.”
“Are you trying to squeeze two dates into one, Kellan Cobb?” Reese asked with a smirk and a playful tone.
“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Kellan made her way toward the small but open kitchen. “It’s okay if you can’t.”
“I can stay,” Reese replied.
“I got turkey, ham, and roast beef along with Swiss and Cheddar cheese. There’s mayo, and mustard, and I got–”
“Kell, turn around, please.”
Kellan obeyed and turned to see that Reese was right behind her. Her arms moved around Kellan’s neck, and she pulled Kellan close.
“Oh, right.” Kellan’s arms moved to Reese’s waist. “We’ve done this before, so we can do it whenever now,” she added with a smile.
“Exactly.”
Reese’s lips connected with Kellan’s. They shared a brief kiss before they both pulled back and smiled. Then, their lips reconnected. This time, it wasn’t just a hello kiss. Kellan’s hands instantly moved under Reese’s shirt. Her palms spread out to take in as much of the other woman’s lower back as possible. Reese’s hands were playing in Kellan’s hair that was down around her shoulders. The tips were still a little wet. Kellan had showered recently, Reese thought to herself while their tongues connected for the first time since last night. Kellan’s hands were sliding up and down her back as Reese’s own hands were moving to Kellan’s neck to push her hair out of the way. Reese pulled her lips from Kellan’s to move them to her neck just below her earlobe.
“Reese,” Kellan whispered.
Reese explored first with her lips; then, with her tongue. She nibbled the soft skin with her teeth as she moved down Kellan’s n
eck to her collarbone. Kellan’s head was resting on Reese’s shoulder, and her hands were digging into Reese’s back. The woman was coiled so tightly, Reese worried she might explode there in the kitchen. She pulled her lips away and met Kellan’s eyes.
“Are you okay?” she checked.
“Yeah. Why?” Kellan asked breathlessly.
“You’re really tense, Kellan.” She pulled back more and pressed her hands to Kellan’s stomach.
Kellan let out a deep laugh and covered Reese’s hands with her own before pulling them to her lips where she kissed both palms and moved them back around her own neck. She pulled Reese back into her and hugged her.
“I’m okay. You’re a really good kisser. I guess I was trying to keep myself together.”
“Why?” Reese laughed into Kellan’s shoulder. “And did you just take a shower? You smell really good.”
“I was outside this morning. I went for a hike.” She squeezed Reese harder. “So, I took a shower, yes.”
Reese kissed her chastely under her ear and pulled back to look into Kellan’s blue eyes.
“Why are you trying to keep yourself together?” she repeated.
“Because kissing you like that makes me want more. I don’t know if we’re ready for more yet.”
“You have to tense your entire body to keep from…” Reese lifted both eyebrows.
“I didn’t realize I had to until you kissed me,” she revealed. “Maybe it’s just because it’s been a while for me.” She pulled back and released Reese from her hold. “So, sandwiches and then we can sit outside and eat?”
“Sure,” Reese agreed.
Kellan turned away from her entirely then and began pulling out sandwich ingredients from the cabin’s kitchen. Reese remained watching for a few moments before she moved into the living room and then to the windows, which overlooked the trees and the lake.
“I have chips, potato salad, and pasta salad. Which would you like?” Kellan asked while bent over at the fridge.
“Yes.” Reese turned back to smile at her. Kellan understood the implication and removed two small containers from the fridge before grabbing a bag of chips off the top. “It’s a beautiful day,” Reese said after a moment. “Do you want to eat down at the beach?” She turned back to Kellan again.
“Sure. I can pack everything up, and we can drive down.”
“I’d like to walk if that’s okay.” Reese headed back toward the kitchen and leaned over the counter.
Kellan turned to face her with a loaf of bread in her hand and asked, “Yeah?”
“I think if I can handle the island hike, I can handle the short one down to the beach.”
“Really? Because I was thinking about doing something after lunch. I wasn’t sure how you’d take the idea.”
“Something?” Reese lifted one eyebrow at her and stood up before taking a few steps toward Kellan.
“Stop it.” Kellan laughed and held out her hand to make Reese keep her distance. “Or we’ll never eat lunch.” She lowered her hand when Reese stopped a few feet away. “And it’s a hike. I scoped it out this morning. It’s beginner level stuff, with only one small hill and no rocks or tree branches over the trail that I noticed. It’s only a couple of miles. We can stop whenever you want and head back. I packed a bag already. I thought we’d eat and then I can drive us to the trailhead.” She placed the bread on the counter next to the cheese she’d already pulled out. “If you don’t want to, we can stay here. It just seems like you miss it; and you really enjoyed yourself the other day apart from the nearly freezing to death part.” She laughed out of nervousness from what Reese could tell. “I thought it might be nice to try an easy trail together.”
“It does sound nice.” Reese smiled at her. “I’m not exactly dressed for a hike, though.” She motioned to her white button-down long-sleeved shirt and jeans. She was wearing her hiking boots, but that was the only part of her ensemble that said she was ready for a hike in the woods. “I would have gone home to change had you warned me, Kell.”
“You came straight here? You didn’t go home first?” Kellan asked.
“Yes, I came straight here. I wanted to see you and didn’t want to wait.”
Kellan took a few steps toward her to offer her a sweet kiss on the lips.
“You can borrow whatever you need from me, or I can take you home on the way and you can change if you want.” She moved back to make their lunch. “Whatever you want. My bag is in the bedroom.”
Reese smiled at Kellan as she turned to head into the bedroom. When she arrived in the open door, she realized this wasn’t Kellan’s actual bedroom. She grew disappointed because in the moment Kellan had motioned to her bedroom, Reese had grown excited at seeing Kellan’s most private space. She wanted to know how she’d decorated it, what kind of bed she had, what pictures she had adorning the walls or on her bedside tables. She wanted to know if she preferred a television in her room or if she was one of the people who didn’t watch TV once they’d turned in for the night. She noticed the queen-sized bed and the bedding that had obviously been used many times over by the other tourists that had rented the property. Her sadness grew.
“Maybe I will go home first and grab something.”
“It’s nothing like my room at home.” Kellan was behind her now. Her words were soft and nearly whispered into Reese’s ear. She wrapped her arms around Reese’s waist. “My place is small. It’s on the fourth floor but, thankfully, there are elevators. I have a one-bedroom. I’m not much of a decorator, but I’ve put up a few paintings. I bought a rug last year.” She kissed Reese’s neck. “There are a few hiking trails I go on sometimes when I need to get out of the city. I’ve never really had anyone that likes hiking as much as me to share the experience, but the views are great, and walking across the Golden Gate is touristy, but fun. The city on the other side is Sausalito. It’s nice. You can rent bicycles, and there are great restaurants.”
“Are you trying to sell me on your city, Kell?” She lowered her head as Kellan’s lips met the back of her neck.
“I was hoping you’d consider visiting one day.”
“That depends.”
“On?” Kellan kissed her again in the same spot.
“If I’m staying with you when I’m there.” She raised her head in time for Kellan to kiss the side of her neck instead. “Because I hardly know anything about you, Kellan, but I know I don’t want you to leave.”
“Me neither.” Kellan rested her head on Reese’s shoulder. “How about you find something to throw on in my bag, we take our lunch to the beach and have a picnic? Then, we’ll go on our hike, and we can talk. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You do the same. We’ll come back here and eat dinner, and we’ll keep getting to know one another.” She squeezed Reese gently. “And if you want to stay, you can.”
“Stay after dinner?” Reese asked with a small smile.
“Stay the night, Reese,” she replied in Reese’s ear. “Just stay. Nothing has to happen. We nearly stayed up all night on the phone last night, and you could have been here. We could have done that in person.”
“I have to work tomorrow,” Reese replied.
“You can leave early to go home and change if you want.” She pulled back a little. “If you don’t want to stay though, you–”
“I do, Kell.” Reese turned in Kellan’s arms. “Earlier, though, you seemed to have a hard time just kissing me. How are you going to make it through the night if all we’re doing is sleeping?” she teased.
◆◆◆
Kellan stared down at Reese with a wide smile on her face as she ran her hands through the other woman’s hair. They’d gone to the beach and finished their lunch a while ago. Reese’s head was in Kellan’s lap as the two alternated between bouts of light conversation and shared silences. Kellan was enjoying one of those silences as her fingers massaged Reese’s scalp lightly while Reese herself smiled up at her with closed eyes.
“Tell me about your family. You’ve menti
oned you’re not really that close with them, right?” Reese asked.
“Not really,” Kellan replied and rubbed Reese’s stomach under her shirt with her free hand before she laid back on the blanket so they were perpendicular and both relaxed. “My parents were fine growing up. They pushed us all a little too hard sometimes, but I think that’s because we had no money and they needed us to get scholarships so that we could go to school.” Her fingernails scratched lightly at Reese’s stomach. The muscles flexed on instinct, and Kellan smiled. “It wasn’t a bad childhood or anything though.”
“What did your parents do?”
“My dad worked at the port. He loaded and unloaded container ships mostly. My mom stayed at home when we were younger, but once my sister was in kindergarten, she went to work at the post office. She’s still there. My dad’s still working the port, too. Katie and Kevin have done really well for themselves. Kevin is an engineer. He works for the electric company. Katie just graduated from law school.”
“So, all three of you turned out well. Your parents must have done something right.” Reese opened her eyes. Kellan lifted herself up for a moment to remove a fallen leaf from just under Reese’s neck. She took in the gray of Reese’s eyes and how the sun bounced the light around them. They shifted to near green for a moment before she moved back to lie down. “Right?”
“I guess.”
“But why don’t you talk to them much?”
“Kevin joined the Army right after high school. He stayed in for four years and traveled a lot during that time. When he was discharged, the Army paid for school. He chose an East Coast school. He’s been there ever since. He comes home to visit every now and then, but I haven’t seen him in a few years. He’s four years older than me, so we never spent all that much time together growing up.”
“And he’s still single?”
“And no plans to change that, as far as I know. He’s working on his Ph. D right now when he’s not at work, and that takes up the majority of his time.”
“Another doctor in the family, huh?”
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