“That is a good thing, Reese.”
“It is. Of course, it is,” she agreed. “I want to see her as often as possible. I’m just worried that once she goes back, there will be this immediate pressure to visit one another. She has two jobs right now and works on the weekends sometimes. I have my volunteer shifts at the center.”
“You two are very smart women. I’m sure you can figure out something that works.”
“I guess. But what if it doesn’t?” Reese laid her head back and turned it toward her twin.
“You really like this girl.”
“I do.”
“You see a future with her? Long-term?”
“I want to try,” she said. “But I’m scared.”
“Because this one matters?”
“Yes.” Reese looked down. “She doesn’t know about all this.”
“No one does,” Remy acknowledged. “Are you thinking about telling her?”
“I never told Morgan. Shouldn’t I have told her if I planned on telling anyone? I just met Kellan.”
“I don’t think it matters how long you know someone, Reese. For whatever reason, you never felt comfortable telling Morgan. I don’t get it, but it’s always been your decision. I’d blame mom a little because I think she was trying to protect you but also didn’t want people to treat you differently. Maybe you feel differently now that she’s gone, or maybe it’s just that Kellan is special. Maybe she’s different.”
“She’ll treat me differently,” Reese suggested.
“You don’t know that. You never gave Morgan the chance either, as your friend or your girlfriend. Maybe you should give Kellan that chance.”
“What if she runs away?”
“Why would she run away?”
“Because it’s weird.” Reese leaned forward.
“You are not weird, Reese. You’re you. You’re the best friend and the best sister in the world. You’re a great girlfriend when you allow yourself to be. If that’s what you and Kellan are to one another, or will be to one another, then you should tell her. Part of being in a relationship is taking care of the other person and looking out for them.”
“I don’t want her to go crazy, like you.” She tossed the piece of rubber at Remy. “I don’t know if I can stand her looking at me differently.”
“Then, never tell anyone else. Never let someone in all the way, Reese. If that’s what you want, do it. I’ll live here with you forever. Ryan can just move in, and it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine,” the woman repeated. “It just won’t be everything, Reese. You deserve everything.”
CHAPTER 19
Instead of taking a canoe ride on the lake after a football game that Reese played in for the first time in a long time, Reese had opted for them to walk the Baldwin Estate. It was part of the Tallac Historic Site. It was comprised of several 19th-century homes, gardens, servant quarters, a small museum, and often they had a blacksmith in action. The estate butted against the water. It was free to roam around and take in the exhibits and old homes. The gardens contained a small wooden bridge that went over a shallow pond with waterlilies and several different types of fish. There was a small gazebo and plenty of lush plants. Some had begun to hibernate for the season, but many of the plants still looked green and had lively-colored flowers. The autumn chill was beginning in full force now that it was late in the day. They walked hand in hand until the sun moved lower into the sky. Then, they made their way to the beach, where they sat a few feet away from the water without a blanket and watched the horizon carry it away.
“I could get used to this,” Kellan said while staring at the beauty of the mountains, the water, and everything that made Lake Tahoe so magical to her.
“It’s my favorite place,” Reese said.
“Tahoe?” Kellan turned her head slightly to face her.
“This place.” Reese pointed at the ground. “My parents used to take Remy and I here when we were kids. My mom worked at the visitor’s center before me. That’s one of the reasons I do it now. I’m trying to carry on her legacy, I guess. Anyway, most of the locals steer clear of this place, since it’s a major tourist site. But we had field trips here every few years in school to learn about the history and preservation. Remy and I both hated the field trips, but we loved when mom and dad would bring us here.” She inhaled. Her smile disappeared, and her lips turned straight with memories. “We’d come down here, and Reese and I would play in the water. We’d eat lunch by the garden. We’d hike around the area to find a place to camp. Even though we live minutes away from here, my dad loved camping. He’d make sure we went at least a few times each summer.” She turned to Kellan. “I never told Morgan any of this. She’s been here, obviously. She just doesn’t know my history with the place or my love of it.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me.” Kellan placed her hand on the back of Reese’s neck, drawing her forward to press their foreheads together.
“That’s the thing, Kell. I want to share everything with you,” she revealed. “But I don’t want to share you.”
Kellan drew back and gave her a quizzical expression.
“Meaning?”
Reese moved until she was straddling Kellan’s lap. She wrapped her arms around Kellan’s neck once Kellan’s were around her waist.
“I don’t want you to date someone else when you’re home,” Reese said.
“Because you don’t want to share me?” Kellan smirked at her and ran her hands over Reese’s back on top of her jacket.
“That’s right. It’s early, and we have things to work out. We also still have a couple of weeks to talk about them, but I don’t want to date anyone else.”
“So, no more tourists for you? No more one-night deals or two weeks of not much more than sex?”
“Oh, I’ll take two weeks of not much more than sex.” Reese leaned in, hovering her lips an inch away from Kellan’s. “I just don’t want that to be with anyone other than you.”
“Tonight?” Kellan requested more than asked.
“Remy will be there.” Reese pulled back to explain. “I might have asked her to stay on purpose.”
Kellan pulled back entirely but left her hands on Reese’s hips.
“You asked her to stay so we wouldn’t have sex tonight?” Kellan lifted an eyebrow, demonstrating her confusion.
“I want to wait,” Reese offered in explanation. “I know we’re not kids. Neither of us is even close to being a virgin. But I’ve made mistakes in the past that I don’t want to repeat with you. I know you don’t want our first time to be in that less than comfortable cabin. I also know that if we’re alone in the house tonight, it probably would have happened because we both want it to happen. When I kiss you, I want to kiss all of you; every part of you.” She leaned back in. “But I’m nervous about what happens when you go home.”
“You want to wait until after I leave?” Kellan pulled back again with that comment. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“I don’t know.” Reese pulled back too but kept her hands on Kellan’s shoulders. “I’m not explaining this right, am I?”
“Just tell me what you want, Reese. You don’t have to put it into some nice, neat package. I don’t want to rush this either. If you need to wait, we wait. It doesn’t mean I’m going to go looking for something else or that I even want something else. I don’t particularly want to share you either. And remember, I’m leaving you here with an ex-girlfriend you share decades of history with.”
“You’re going back to where Keira lives,” she countered in jest.
“Keira is madly in love with Emma. Morgan is single.”
“Morgan is my friend and won’t ever be anything else again.”
“But there will be more tourists, and you seem to have a fondness for them. Winter will be here soon. Those adorable little ski bunnies come with it.”
“I think we should wait. I don’t know if I mean that we should wait until you’re back in San Francisco or if we should wait until your last
night here, but as much as I want to be with you, I like the idea of waiting and making it count.”
Kellan kissed her. It was slow, deliberate, and she did her best to convey that she wanted the same things. She wanted Reese to know that she wanted her, too. She was crazy about this woman. She ran her hands under Reese’s jacket and under still, until she met skin and pressed her hands to Reese’s abdomen. Reese’s muscles tensed. Kellan stroked them gently while they kissed. Her lips moved from Reese’s and made their way to her neck where she kissed her in the places she’d discovered Reese enjoyed most, earning a few gasps as she did. Kellan pulled back and met Reese’s gorgeous gray eyes that had darkened, indicating her desire to go further.
She moved to roll, forcing Reese to roll with her. Then, Kellan was hovering over her and staring down at those eyes. Reese was smiling a shy smile. Kellan leaned down to kiss her once more. Her hand moved to Reese’s cheek, then, to her neck, where she stilled it until she could lean down into Reese.
“If it feels this good to kiss you, I can only imagine how it will feel to touch you and to be touched by you. It’s worth waiting for, Reese. You’re worth waiting for.”
◆◆◆
“I’m crazy about her,” Reese told her sister the following morning as they made coffee in their kitchen.
“I didn’t hear any sounds coming from your room last night. Should I assume she didn’t enjoy it?” Remy spooned sugar into her empty mug while waiting for the coffee to disperse into it from their single-serve coffee maker.
“We’re still waiting.”
“She’s still…” Remy motioned with her head toward Reese’s room.
“Asleep. I thought I’d bring her coffee. If it’s okay with you, I’ll let her stay until she wants to go. I’ll have her lock up when she leaves. I’m going to shower, change, and get to the school.”
“She can stay forever if it means you’re happy, finally.” Remy stared at the coffee as it began to fill her cup. “Can I ask you something?” She left her cup to fill and turned to Reese, who was adding milk to an already full mug. “What if she just stops by and you haven’t had time to prep for her arrival? Have you thought about that?”
“I have.”
“You didn’t use this stuff when you were with Morgan.” She motioned around the house with her hands. “Mom and dad made you use this stuff when we were growing up. I took care of it in school. When I moved out, you got rid of everything. You only use it now because I put it up, and you’re too lazy to take it down all the time. But, Reese, I will move out someday. Whether you stay in this house or buy another one, I’m hoping you’ll have someone to share it with, who will make sure you’re safe.”
“Safe?” Reese asked. “I’m never technically safe, Remy. We can try to protect me from everything. I can live in a bubble, but the problem exists inside my body. The problem is that I don’t realize–”
“Good morning.” Kellan emerged from the bedroom.
“Hey, babe.” Reese smiled immediately at her before giving Remy the glance that told her to shut down the conversation. “I was making you coffee.”
Kellan approached and kissed her briefly before glancing over at Remy.
“Thank you,” she replied. “Hey, Rem.”
“Morning, football star.” Remy grabbed her now full coffee cup. “You’re up,” she said to Reese and motioned to the coffee maker.
“I’m good. I need to get a move on anyway. I’ll get some at school.”
“You can share mine.” Kellan placed an arm around her waist and rested her head on Reese’s shoulder.
“Sickeningly adorable,” Remy commented. “I’m going to get ready and head to work. See you two later.” She headed out of the kitchen toward her bedroom.
“I woke up, and you weren’t there,” Kellan said from her position on Reese’s shoulder.
“Sorry, I went to bring you coffee like a nice girl–” She stopped herself. “Person you spent the night with last night that you’re currently dating. I have no idea what we are to one another,” she blurted out all at once.
Kellan laughed as she lifted her head and turned Reese so that she was facing her.
“Call me whatever you want,” she instructed. “Girlfriend, the woman you’re dating, the person you like a lot; whatever works.”
“Yeah? We don’t need to have this big discussion about titles or how we introduce each other to people?”
“I’m with you, and you’re with me. We’re dating exclusively. I think, technically, that makes us girlfriends, but the title doesn’t matter to me as long as we’re both on the same page.”
“So, you don’t want to be my girlfriend? That’s what I just heard.” Reese winked playfully.
“Yes, I actually can’t stand you and was hoping to make a clean exit this morning, but you were between me and the front door,” Kellan jested.
“Liar.” Reese leaned in and offered her a light kiss. “Drink your coffee. I have to get ready. You can stay as long as you want today. Just lock up when you go.”
“I’ll leave when you leave.” Kellan pecked her lips again.
“You can hang out if you want. I know your cabin isn’t exactly like home.” She pulled back and slid the mug in Kellan’s direction.
“I have plans today, remember?”
“You do?”
“I called Dr. Sanders after I woke up alone this morning. He said I could spend the day in his office.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he said he could actually use the help. I offered to take on some patients.”
“You’re going to see patients?”
“I am a licensed vet, Reese,” she reminded.
“I know that. I just thought you’d hang out and watch or something.” She headed toward the bedroom with Kellan on her heels.
“If he needs my help, I’m happy to offer. He told me he has someone coming in with a golden-mantled ground squirrel. I’ve never had a squirrel patient before, so I’ll observe that. But he’s got some cats and regular old dogs coming through that he said I can help with.”
“You sound excited.” Reese realized when she moved to her closet.
“I am. I miss it.”
“The animals?” she asked as she pulled down a shirt to wear.
“Yes, but the work. I miss the work. This is the longest vacation I’ve ever taken. We didn’t exactly have money growing up. I’m still in debt with my student loans.” Reese emerged from the closet before she continued, “That’s a conversation we’ll have to have if we keep going, huh? My student loan debt. We’ll save that until after the honeymoon period is over.”
“Let’s save all the hard stuff for when we’re long distance and can’t see one another for a while. Right now, I wish I could lie around all day with you. I’m still in that text you every free minute phase to tell you I miss you.”
“How about dinner tonight? Doctor Sanders offered to pay me for my services today. I said no. He said he’d buy me dinner, and I asked if you could come along. I can totally get you out of it if you aren’t interested.”
“I’m interested,” she answered.
Reese genuinely liked the doctor and his wife. She also liked the idea of Kellan spending time with him, because if she liked the life here more and could see herself working in Tahoe, there was a chance she might consider moving here one day. Reese had been trying since they’d started dating, but she couldn’t picture herself in San Francisco. She loved Tahoe. Her entire life was here. Her twin sister was here; all her friends were here; her students were here. Her mother and father’s ashes had been spread here. She was still living in their home. Maybe if Kellan would consider moving outside of the city to somewhere a little more like Tahoe, she could be happy there. But the best solution was that Kellan liked Tahoe enough to one day consider making a move here.
“I’ll call you when we’re wrapping up and come by to pick you up. Are we staying here tonight or at the cabin?” Kellan asked and stood. “I just realized
I assumed we’re staying in the same place tonight. Should I assume that? Are we at that place where we spend every night together?”
“Considering you’re leaving next Friday, I think we’re at that point.” Reese stood in front of her, holding the shirt she’d decided to wear. She shrugged at Kellan, who was staring up at her. “That came out wrong. Made it seem like you had no choice, huh?”
Kellan stood up and took the shirt from Reese’s hand. She tossed it onto the bed and hugged her.
“The cabin isn’t available after Friday, but I can stay until Sunday morning,” she explained. “I can find a hotel for those two nights or another rental place.”
“You said you needed to get back on Friday to have a couple days at home before going back to work.” Reese pulled out of the hug but held onto Kellan’s waist.
“I changed my mind. I want those two days with you.” Kellan kissed her. “They’re renovating the rental after me. How’s that for my luck? I could’ve come a few weeks later and gotten a fully renovated cabin instead of this outdated one that kind of smells a little like mold now.”
“Stay here Friday through Sunday. We’ll have a couple of nights together before you have to go back.” Reese pulled Kellan back in, close to herself. “I’ll ask Remy to stay with Ryan. We’ll have one weekend together and make sure we do all the stuff you want to do before you go.”
“Reese, I’ll be back,” she reminded her as Reese pulled away. “And you should make a list of all the things you want to do in the city. We can tackle them one by one. Maybe when you have a school break, you can come over on a Thursday, and we can do After Dark with everyone.”
“Sure. I should change.” She picked up the shirt. “I’ll be right back. Drink your coffee.” She moved into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
◆◆◆
Kellan sat on the edge of Reese’s bed for another minute while she listened to the shower run. She grabbed her bag and changed into the clothes she’d brought. She hadn’t prepared to work in a vet’s office on her vacation. She’d go in with jeans and apologize to the doctor for not dressing professionally. She took a sip from her coffee and realized she was standing right next to a closet full of clothing that would likely fit her. Reese was slightly shorter; Kellan wouldn’t borrow pants. But she could borrow one of her button-downs and at least make herself look slightly more professional.
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