“That wasn’t smart for a first date. You should have met him somewhere public,” I interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
“Shush, my brother was home. And technically it was our second date because we video chatted once.”
I shot her a look that let her know I thought she was crazy.
“So, he was standing at the door waiting for me. I leaned over to pick up Hank to put him in his crate when this loud sound erupted from my ass,” Taylor laughed. “It was like a trumpet going off.”
A smirk crossed my face, and then I laughed at the absurdity of it.
“Yep, I busted ass on a first date.” Taylor covered her face with her hands and we both erupted into laughter. She dramatically shook her head and then slapped her hands against her lap. “My ass was facing right in his direction when I did it too.”
“I cannot. Believe. You did that,” I choked out through bursts of laughter. If that had happened to me, I would have been absolutely mortified, and most likely I would have spent the next month hiding from the world.
“You should have seen the look on his face. I think he thought that I did it on purpose at first. But he wants to go out again, so I take it he was able to move past it.”
I stood up and adjusted my black shirt with a cowl neckline, making sure it covered the top of my jeans. “That had to be so embarrassing.” My mouth still hung in a smile that exposed my teeth.
“For about two seconds, and then I just laughed it off with him. There’s no better ice breaker than that.” Taylor ran the brush through her hair. “But I won’t be trying to repeat that again, ever.”
“Is he going to meet us out tonight?” I asked.
“I thought about inviting him, but I don’t want to piss Peyton off over a guy I just started seeing. Maybe I’ll bring him out when we are regularly dating.” She twisted her lips to the side.
“It’s nice of you to be so considerate of Peyton’s feelings,” I said while making my way to the closet to pick out a pair of shoes.
“The last time I brought a guy out Peyton and I ended up in a huge fight. The guy left because of the drama.” Taylor pointed to her cheek. “You missed a spot.”
I cocked my head to the side as I rubbed the spot of moisturizer in better. “Were you egging him on?” I grabbed my black sandals after two seconds of consideration.
“Of course; it makes me feel better that he’s jealous. At least it’s some kind of emotion. It makes me feel better about him dumping me for the fifty millionth time.”
I slid the closet door shut and said, “I guess he wouldn’t get jealous if he didn’t still have feelings.” I thought about the jealousy I felt over Cody and Erin, and second-guessed my decision to go to the Dark Horse.
“I’m glad that you decided to come out.”
“I changed my mind about it when Cody texted me last night, and then I changed my mind twenty more times today,” I said while Taylor looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed.
“And?” Taylor asked. “What did he say about Erin?”
Taylor had texted me about it earlier this week, but I told her I’d tell her in person.
“They slept together. The night I left for New York.” My heart sunk a little after I said it, and I’m sure my face showed it as well.
“God. I hate that bitch. She behaves like such a troll. I love how she always talks about the groupies without realizing she’s one of them.” Taylor pulled one of my decorative pillows into her lap. “Peyton used to tell me the disgusting things she would say to him when I wasn’t around.”
“Don’t torment her tonight. She’s not going to be happy I’m there, especially since Cody turned her down a few weeks ago. He gave her a ride home that night you saw them together. He said nothing happened and I know he was telling me the truth.” I adjusted my necklace so it didn’t peek through my shirt.
The necklace had been around my neck every day for the past twelve years. It was a cheap thin chain that held my father’s wedding ring. The chain was tarnished in some spots, but I didn’t mind since I always kept it tucked underneath whatever I was wearing. My mother didn’t know I had the ring or that I wore it every day. The day after my father left, I found it sitting on top of the kitchen counter. It helped remind me of a time when my mother was happy and still living life instead of drowning in it.
The necklace and a pair of quarter-carat diamond earrings were the only pieces of jewelry that I wore daily. Cody had given me the earrings for my seventeenth birthday. I reluctantly took the gift, after I saw the disappointment on his face when I refused. He insisted I take them, but I was pretty sure that he had spent his entire month’s earnings, if not several months’ earnings, from working at the hardware store that my father had once owned.
I applied a dab of lip gloss as Taylor checked her appearance in the mirror. She adjusted her earrings as I put on my shoes.
Taylor turned around and asked, “Do I look all right?
I looked her over. Taylor’s makeup and hair were flawless, as always. She was wearing tight black jeans with a green shirt that revealed a little too much cleavage. “You look great. You might want to pull your top up a little bit though.”
Taylor turned back to the mirror and adjusted her shirt and bra.
I didn’t ask Taylor how I looked because I knew that she would tell me that I looked pretty but that I should sex it up a bit. The attention I imagined it would garner was something I had no interest in. Besides, I didn’t do sexy. I didn’t like the attention I got in the first place.
“I’m surprised you want to go to the show,” Taylor said.
“I haven’t had much of a social life in the past three and a half months. Erin has caused enough problems in my life and I’m not letting her get between me and Cody. You, him, Chloe, and Mama Mary are pretty much all I have. He made a mistake and I know if he could take it back he would. I just wish it was anyone but her.”
“I can’t believe he did that. But he was pretty drunk that night. He was already lit up when I got there.”
Not wanting to talk about that night anymore, I asked Taylor if she was ready to go. As we made our way to the door, I grabbed my purse off of the kitchen counter.
“I was thinking about the ninth grade assembly earlier today. I’ll never understand why Erin has had and still has so much animosity toward me.”
“Jealousy,” Taylor responded as she picked her purse up from the couch.
“Maybe,” I said as I shut the door behind us.
Chapter 12 - Hailey
“I doubt we’re going to find parking along the street,” Taylor said as we drove past the Dark Horse.
“Try the lot around back. There might be a spot there.” I flipped the visor back up after a final check of my makeup. Gazing out the window, I eyed the long line outside of the bar. “It looks like the boys are going to have a nice crowd tonight.”
The only time Milbourny attracted a large group of people was when the band performed at the Dark Horse on Friday and Saturday nights. They played a couple of days during the week too, but the crowds were smaller and almost everyone who attended was a resident of the town.
When the band started performing they only had a gig at the Dark Horse on Saturday nights. Cody and Peyton brainstormed ways they could attract a larger crowd. They tried flyers and advertised in newspapers that were in a twenty-mile radius, but only achieved a small amount of success with their efforts. The crowd at the Dark Horse began to grow when they started playing at bars in nearby towns for free. Within four months they stopped performing without pay and picked up Friday nights at the Dark Horse. Four years later and they had a large following that was largely driven by word of mouth. Half of their crowd consisted of students from the college in Luville. The other half came from other neighboring towns where the band had been able to establish a name.
Taylor parked the car in the lot, taking the last spot left.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, which felt like they were
on fire.
The vibrations of the music pulsed through my chest as we rounded the corner of the sidewalk. Cody’s voice blasted over the speakers, setting off a whirlwind of butterflies in my stomach.
As we approached the front of the line, whispers and sneers came from waiting patrons. Kyle, the bouncer, would just have called us to the front if we’d waited in the line like everyone else. And that would have resulted in more attention being thrown our way. I always hesitated at this point, uncomfortable at the eyes that were probably on my back, staring me down over the preferential treatment.
A girl hurled an insult our way. Kyle stood up from the stool he was sitting on, smiled at me, and then pointed at the girl. “You. You’re outta here.” He hitched his thumb over his shoulder.
I stop and whipped my head over my shoulder.
The girl and her friend stared at each other with disbelief and then sauntered off.
I looked forward and smiled at Kyle as I approached.
“Hey, there. I heard you were back in town,” Kyle said. He sat a roll of paper bracelets down on the stool next to him and gave me a hug.
Kyle was Taylor’s brother. He worked part-time at the Dark Horse and full-time as a firefighter.
“Good to see you,” I said, patting his back. “I see you have a line to card. I’ll come look for you later.”
Kyle nodded and picked his roll of bracelets back up.
Taylor had already made her way inside, and I followed behind, trying to catch up to her. I nearly gagged on a cloud of smoke that floated toward me from a small crowd of people standing beside the door. At least people were no longer allowed to smoke inside because of a new state law.
The air buzzed with the energy of the music and the excitement of the crowd on the dance floor. I stopped and looked toward the stage at Cody, but Taylor locked elbows with me and dragged me to the bar.
We took seats at the end that faced the stage. I was going to just steal another glance at Cody, but when I turned my head his eyes were already on me. He wasn’t looking away, not at all. My chest flooded with warmth, and a calmness came over me.
He had on a white T-shirt and blue jeans. The shirt clung to his body, revealing the definition of his muscular chest and arms. Sweat glistened on his forehead from the heat of the lights. His messily spiked chocolate-colored hair shook a little as he danced in perfect rhythm to the beat. I looked at him in admiration, not stopping my thoughts about him as I used to do conscientiously.
There was something about the way that he was looking at me that was different, that made me feel special, like I had his full attention despite the number of much prettier girls in the room. His gaze didn’t make me uncomfortable, not even a little. Taylor elbowed me, forcing my attention to her, but somehow I knew he was still looking at me.
Taylor alerted me to Erin, who was across the bar from us, picking up the beers she’d ordered with Samantha. It didn’t appear that she’d noticed us because she wasn’t trying to stare me down as usual. She always tried to intimidate me, but it never worked. The only thing she accomplished was making me feel uncomfortable, and I had grown used to that feeling, because I often felt that way around people I wasn’t close to. Taylor would admonish me for not responding to it, but I didn’t see any point in throwing a match into a puddle of gasoline.
Erin turned and made her way to the dance floor with Samantha trailing behind. They took their normal spot at the front of the stage, close to the wall. Erin would often yell at other girls if they got too close to her, or to the stage. She was ridiculously protective of her territory, which in her mind also included the band.
I’d always cringe if she was in line when we arrived, because it would always be accompanied by some smart remark, which inevitably led to Taylor feeling a need to defend me. I hated it, because I didn’t need defending.
I watched as Erin climbed on top of the platform to the side of the stage, which was her second favorite spot. Samantha climbed up after her. They appeared to be having a good time, dancing and singing. It bothered me that Erin was near Cody, and that I could see them both in my frame of sight.
Erin had on a black spaghetti-strapped dress with a neon pink bra underneath. Her bra straps were visible and she had an orange lighter tucked between her breasts. The designer dress she wore clung to her hourglass figure. Her eyelids were always thickly lined, making her dark brown eyes appear beady. Red lipstick adorned her pouty lips, and a ponytail of black hair dangled down the back of her neck.
Having Cody’s attention on me dulled the sting of jealousy, and I kept forcing my mind to the memory of him confessing his love for me.
Cody announced that they had one more song before the break. He locked eyes with me again and said, “Someone really special arrived during the last song – this one’s for her.”
Was he talking about me? Suddenly it felt like all eyes in the room were on me, even though I was sure they weren’t. My cheeks burned and I was certain they were crimson.
Taylor nudged me. “Damn, Peyton’s never done that for me.” I shrugged my shoulders in response and flashed her an apologetic smile before turning back to Cody, who was still looking at me. He nodded his head at me, making sure I understood he was talking about me. I smiled back to let him know that I knew what he meant.
Erin cupped her hand around her mouth and said something into Samantha’s ear. When she spotted me, all emotion drained from her face. She jumped down and Samantha was quick to follow.
Chapter 13 - Erin
“Let’s go to the bathroom. I don’t want to listen to this fucking song,” I shouted to Samantha.
I stomped across the dance floor and down the small hallway that was to the left of the stage. After whipping open the bathroom door it smacked against the wall. “Why would he fucking do that with me standing there?”
Samantha gave me a look that implied she was clueless. Big surprise there; I was sure that there were many species of insects that were born with a bigger brain.
Ever have a guy stop talking to you after they’ve fucked you? Well, that happened often to me, and it almost never bothered me. I lost all shame about things like that after the ninth grade assembly, where Cody made sure everyone knew about my promiscuity. After that, I learned to own the sexual side of myself instead of letting anyone shame me for it.
I firmly believed if you owned the parts of you that other people would have judged as bad, then nothing they could say would destroy you…couldn’t use something against someone who freely admitted to it. There was no power another person had against you by calling you a slut when you openly acknowledged that you enjoyed sex. As long as it wasn’t a lie, but merely a truth that couldn’t make you cower in shame at people’s unrelenting judgment. It was also super helpful to be a raging bitch like me.
No matter what anyone said, I wasn’t a slut or a whore, but simply a girl that liked sex… A LOT.
“What the hell is she doing here? I thought she was gone for good,” I said, staring into the mirror as I adjusted my ponytail. “That’s what Cody told me.”
“I heard that people have seen her around town.” Samantha unzipped her purse and pulled out a compact.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” I leaned toward the mirror, touching up my eye makeup with my fingertip.
“I didn’t really think of it. I just heard about it a few days ago and it slipped my mind,” Samantha said, and then blew the excess powder off the puff in her hand.
Here’s where things got sticky… I thought with Hailey leaving and Cody showing an interest in me that things between us would finally begin. Nope, that didn’t happen. It was the first time since the assembly that I had felt ashamed for what I did. My feelings were involved so his rejection burned in a way that I hadn’t been able to resolve. That wasn’t something I was used to, and now all those bad feelings were binding together, igniting my hatred for Hailey even more.
I rolled my eyes at her as I smoothed over my hair. “I guess things did
n’t work out that well for her in New York.” A smirk crossed my face when I considered why she was back. “I bet Jason kicked her out. Watch now – she’s going to try to get with Cody. That’s just how she is.”
The thought of it made me sick. If they got together it would validate every bad feeling I’d held about myself since the day Cody didn’t return my call after we slept together. He apologized at the next show I went to, but it didn’t make me feel any better. Worse yet was the time I’d called him and I could tell that I wasn’t a contact in his phone by the way he answered. He had treated me like one of his filthy groupies. But I wasn’t that. I had often thought about that night and wanted HIS attention and affection.
That night with Cody meant something to me, and he cheapened it by treating me like nothing. Even though he left my place right after we had sex, I was so happy the next day. I thought we would continue to see each other and it was Hailey that had held us back from getting together before.
After the night we got together he got all weird around me. He wouldn’t even look at me at shows. Whenever I tried to make small talk, he would find an excuse to leave. It bothered me a lot. I was used to having one night stands, but had always been indifferent afterwards. I never caught feelings, but the difference with Cody was that I already had feelings for him.
The last time he’d dropped me off I’d made a move that only made me feel worse about the entire ordeal. More rejection, and with me, hurtful feelings usually spiraled into something worse.
If there was ever a moment I wanted to cry, it was when I realized that Cody had dedicated the song to Hailey, and knowing his words were for her, not me. I wanted his words to be for me…so fucking bad. I’d never understood what he saw in her. That bitch had an alcoholic mother, lived in a shitty house, drove an even shittier car, yet he wanted her and not me and I didn’t understand why.
I stood there, staring in the mirror while Samantha texted on her phone. There wasn’t a shot in hell that I was going back out there while he was singing that song to HER. So we waited…
The Secret That Intervened Page 9