The red diary that sat on the coffee table was the twelfth diary I’d owned. I started a new book each year even if there were blank pages left. I didn’t write in it every day, only when a significant event occurred in my life.
“I’m glad it helped.” He took another bite of chili. “What are we painting?
“Just the dining room,” I said. “I didn’t want to lay out too much money right now until I start having some come in. I figure I’ll do a room every two weeks or so.”
“What color are we painting it?” Cody asked.
“Red. I wanted to do a pale yellow but I thought the nicotine stains would show through the paint. I’m not going to paint the whole place red. But a red dining room will complement the couch and painting nicely. I’m going to paint the living room and hallway light beige.”
“Good call. You’re probably right about that,” Cody said.
“I bought white curtains for the windows at the thrift store. I’m going to bleach the blinds in my mother’s tub when I drop her meals off. It’s driving me nuts that they’re stained.”
I thought about the shower and my solution to giving Chloe a bath. “I bought a plastic bin to give Chloe a bath in. I tried to take a shower with her but she didn’t like it. It’s tight in there, but it’s not too bad.”
“Always finding a way to make do,” he said with a smile, and pinched my chin.
I stood up and noticed his bowl was empty too. He handed it to me.
I washed the dishes out and put them away as Cody carried the four dining room chairs into the living room.
We each lifted a side of the table and moved it into the living room. I handed Cody the painter’s plastic to open as I searched for the scissors.
Cody measured out the plastic and held it up for me to snip off what we needed from the roll. After covering the floor, he opened the paint can and poured a quarter of it into the tray.
I picked up a paintbrush and dipped it into the paint. My mouth turned up into a devilish grin as I playfully waved the brush at him.
“Don’t you dare, Hail,” he said, laughing as he backed away from me. Lunging forward, I tried to swipe his cheek with the brush, but I missed.
I moved toward him again, shaking the brush in front of me. He stepped back until his heel hit the baseboard of the wall. Waving the brush in front of his face, teasing him, I bit the side of my lip. I swung the brush at him again. He caught my wrist, then he caught the other, and flipped me around so my back was against the wall.
The muscles of his chest pressed against me and his breath was on my face. I could smell the sweetness of the orange soda mixed with the familiar scent that was him. When I looked up at him I didn’t drop my gaze. I wanted his mouth on mine. I wanted to do the things that we had never done before.
He brought his lips to mine and kissed me softly. My body relaxed, my arms dropped, and the sound of the brush hitting the ground was faint compared to the sound of my heartbeat. Our tongues collided against each other in desperation.
The feeling of his body against mine sent every nerve in me into a frenzy. With every breath and every movement, fireworks went off in me over and over again, bursting from the heart and out my fingertips and toes, lost in the thought that I had never experienced a moment that felt so right.
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I laid my head on his chest. “I love you,” he said.
Without a second of hesitation I looked up at him. “I love you too, Cody.”
Chapter 17 - Cody
I stared out the window into the backyard as I stood in my mom’s kitchen. The porch light cut through the darkness of the night, illuminating the large oak tree outside. The orange and red leaves swayed from the branches as the wind crashed into them. Leaves torn from the tree danced in the wind until they finally crashed into the ground.
Lost in thought, memories of me and my dad playing guitar under the oak came to mind. Dad taught me the first note that I ever learned while seated underneath of it. That day held one of my most treasured memories of him; his passion had become mine that day. Every time I started a show I thought of it, and silently thanked him for all the many gifts he had given me. Not the kind of gifts that can be tossed in the trash, but the kind that remain in your heart forever.
Every single Wednesday and Saturday we would practice together. When the weather was warm we would practice outside. During the winter and on rainy days we would practice in the kitchen, usually while Mom was cooking dinner.
The day Dad died, Hailey sat with me underneath the oak for three hours. Her blue corduroy pants were about an inch too short, which revealed socks that didn’t match, and her striped shirt was a bit too snug. She wore that shirt at least once a week. Her thirteen-year-old body had outgrown it, having worn the thing since she was eleven. That day we mostly sat in silence until she started to tap her pen against the diary in her lap and I matched the rhythm of it with a chord that grew into the bridge of a song.
A smile came to my face as I recalled the comfort she brought me that day with her quiet presence, on what was the worst day of my life.
Mom interrupted my thoughts. “What did you do last night?”
“The three of us went out for ice cream.” I grinned as I thought about the way Chloe’s face had lit up when I handed her the cone with colored sprinkles on it. Within minutes, she had managed to get the ice cream all over her shirt and face. Sprinkles stuck to the sides of her mouth, above her lip, and even on her nose. Hailey had put down her bowl of frozen yogurt and reached into her bag, grabbing some wipes. I had laughed at her and then taken them out of her hands, convincing her to just let things be and wait until Chloe was through with her treat.
“I’m glad that you and Hailey are getting along so well. I always thought that one day the two of you would find your way,” Mom said.
“Mom, she’s the girl for me. It’s never been like this with anyone else.” I paused and my eyes focused back on the oak tree. “When I look at her, I know that I want her to be my wife one day. And I love Chloe as if she were my own daughter. I’m so happy when I’m with them. There’s just not anything else like it. Not singing, not the guitar, nothing.”
Mom turned from the stove and looked over at me. She waved the wooden spoon in her hand at me. “Now that sounds like true love to me.” Her expression turned from a smile into a look of concern. “Has Jason contacted her?”
The sound of his name made me cringe. “No. If I see his face I’m going to lose it.” I could feel my body tensing and my jaw clenching. If there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that if I saw him I wouldn’t be able to contain my rage. I had not forgotten, and I wouldn’t forget.
Only Mom and I knew what had happened. Hailey was a private person and often struggled explaining her feelings about things to other people. Mom had encouraged her to file a report too, but Hailey wouldn’t budge. She was convinced that it wouldn’t have happened had she not smacked him.
I shook off thoughts about the abusive asshole and focused back on the conversation we were having before my mom brought up his name.
“I think Hail and I finally got the timing right,” I said.
“Life tends to work on its own timeline,” Mom said as she stirred the meatballs in the pan.
“She should be here shortly.” Mom looked at the clock. “Her shift ends in half an hour.”
***
Hailey placed her bags on the table and said, “Hi, baby,” smiling at Chloe as she took her from my hands. She rested Chloe on her hips, kissed her on the cheek and gave her a squeeze. I leaned in and gave Hailey a kiss.
“Hey, beautiful,” I whispered.
She mouthed back, “Hey handsome.” Her cheeks became rosy when my mom looked at her. It was the first time we’d kissed in front of my mom. We’d been dating a month but had yet to be together at Mom’s house.
Mom wiped her hands on a dishcloth as she smiled at us. “The two of you look happier than I’ve ever seen either one o
f you.”
“You raised a great guy,” Hailey said, beaming with a look of pride.
“That’s my Cody,” she said, patting me on the back on her way into the living room.
I winked at Hailey.
She kissed me again before putting Chloe down and grabbing the blue polka dot bag next to her purse.
“I got you something, baby,” she said to Chloe as she handed her a pink stuffed elephant with a purple dress. Chloe’s eyes beamed as she took the toy from Hailey’s hands. It was the first gift Hailey had bought her since she’d returned from New York. Her first priority had been to return the money she’d pulled out of Chloe’s savings to cover the deposit and security for the apartment.
Mom came back into the kitchen and handed Hailey a new scrapbook she’d created. It was covered in cream fabric, and in purple letters across the top, it had Chloe’s name with the month and year underneath it. Hailey had a book for every month of Chloe’s life, except for the first three months after Chloe’s birth and the three months she was in New York.
Mom grabbed her cup of coffee and took a seat next to Hailey at the table. I joined them.
“I found a new studio for the band to practice in,” I said.
“Oh good. What’s it like? Mom asked.
“It’s bigger than the last one and it’s in an industrial zone. No more neighbors’ complaints to worry about. The rent is cheaper too.”
Chloe handed her empty sippy cup to me. “It’s a small garage over on Hilltop Avenue that has been vacant for years.” I stood up and grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the refrigerator. I popped the lid off and poured the juice. “The guys moved the equipment into it while I was at work.” I reached down to Chloe and handed her the cup.
“We’ve been practicing more so we’ll have more songs to work with. JT has been trying to land us some shows at larger venues,” I told my mom.
I turned to Hailey. “He did get two shows over the weekend in Philadelphia.”
“When?” Hailey asked, surprised.
“Next weekend. Friday and Saturday night.” I had only found out about the shows a few hours earlier.
“You’ll be staying the night?” Hailey asked, with a streak of disappointment in her tone.
We’d planned on going to the pumpkin patch that day. She had been looking forward to it, and somehow it had slipped my mind.
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I was planning on staying over but I’ll come back if you want me to.”
A small, understanding smile was on her face. “It doesn’t make sense for you to do that much driving in one day.”
“Promise I’ll make it up to you,” I reassured her.
Chloe reached out her arms toward Hailey. She took the cup from Chloe’s hands and placed it on the table. She picked her up and placed her on her lap. Mom went into the living room to get Chloe’s coloring book and crayons and then sat them on the table in front of Hailey and Chloe.
Hailey tried to come to a show at least once a month. She would usually only stay for the first half. It just wasn’t her scene, and that was fine with me. And she couldn’t justify missing time with Chloe to hang out in an alcohol-soaked environment.
It was somewhat of a risk to cancel our shows at the Dark Horse. Not because they wouldn’t have us back. We put money into the owner’s pocket with a larger crowd than they could get without us performing, and in turn we got the cover charges. The band worried about not getting the word out in time and having disappointed fans show up to the Dark Horse. The word had begun to spread though, and we had heard of several groups of friends that were heading to Philadelphia to see the shows.
Mom got up to check on dinner.
Hailey started to put Chloe down.
I shook my head at her and said, “She’s got it. Don’t get up.”
“Stay seated, Hailey. I’m almost done here and you just got off work,” Mom said.
The timer went off and my mom pulled the garlic bread out of the oven. I put the strainer in the sink and emptied the pasta into it.
Mom picked up the ceramic bowl from the counter. It almost slipped out of her hands as she handed it to me. I caught it before it smashed onto the counter.
“Damn, Mom.”
“Cody Altwater!,” she warned, raising her eyebrows.
“Sorry.”
Hailey pointed her finger at me, her shoulders bouncing as she silently laughed at me while Mom’s back was turned. She would always tease me whenever she got to watch my mom reprimanding me. Mom never reprimanded her, not because she wouldn’t, but because Hailey never gave her reason to.
Steam smacked me in the face as I placed the pasta-filled bowl in the middle of the table. I picked up the basket of bread that my mom had just finished filling and placed it on the table next to the pasta. Mom placed the meatballs and sauce on the table as I strapped Chloe’s booster seat to the chair. I picked Chloe up and placed her in her seat.
As I was securing the safety strap to the booster, Hailey got the plates and silverware and set the table.
We sat down at the table and held hands while Mom said a prayer.
“Amen,” we said in unison.
Mom handed Hailey a small plate that she had set aside to cool.
I made Hailey a plate while she cut the meatballs and pasta into small chunks for Chloe. I gave my mom a look and shook my head as I silently laughed to myself. The hotdog choking incident had occurred at my mom’s, and it wasn’t nearly the crisis that Hailey thought it was. While it might have sent her into a panic, Chloe had merely coughed while having food in her mouth. Hailey’s reaction to it had sent Chloe into a rare fit of tears.
“What are you kids doing after dinner?” Mom asked as she used her fork to slice through a meatball.
I looked at Hailey and then placed my hand on her knee under the table.
“I have a show tonight,” I reminded my mom. “We’re going to hang out at Hailey’s before I have to leave.”
Mom bobbed her head, acknowledging what I had said, and then turned to Hailey. “How has work been?”
“It’s been good. Frankie has been trying to rework the schedule so he can give me better shifts.”
The morning crowd at Frankie’s didn’t really bring in good tips. Her shifts began at nine and she only had the lunch crowd to depend on. Frankie had added coffee and pastries and expanded the hours of the pizzeria years back to bring in more money. However, most people would just pick them up and there weren’t many tips in it for Hailey.
Hailey looked at my mom. “Next time you make this I hope I can help you. It’s really good. I’d like to learn the recipe,” she said as she swirled pasta onto her fork.
“You should come over next Sunday. I have another recipe I picked up at church. It’s an Indian curry that I’ve been tweaking. I think I’ve finally perfected it.”
“I’d love to!” Hailey said as her eyes lit up.
When Dad was sick, Mom had been consumed with taking care of him and taking care of me. It wasn’t until after Dad died that she found out how bad things had gotten for Hailey. I found Hailey one day, sitting, hugging her legs in her backyard, crying. She was almost fourteen at the time, and had come home to an eviction notice. We later found out that she had gone a month without water or electricity. Mom had Hailey bring over all the mail that had piled up and taught her how to cash the checks her mom received, pay the bills, and balance the checkbook.
When Mom had visited Grace’s house she discovered that there was no real food to be found. Hailey confessed the only time she ate a real meal was at school. Her mom would give her five dollars change every week after Grace paid for her weekly vodka delivery. Hailey used the money to buy cheap canned goods, but it wasn’t enough.
After Hailey took over the bills, things got better for her and she started grocery shopping on her own, and was even able to buy some clothes from the thrift store.
Mom and Hailey had developed a tradition where Hailey would come over and help Mom cook Sund
ay dinner. When Hailey turned eighteen, the tradition was replaced with Hailey cooking her mom’s meals for the week.
We finished eating and helped Mom clean up.
***
Chloe’s head rested on my shoulder as I carried her into Hailey’s house. Hailey held the door open for me and pressed her finger against her lips.
She flipped on the hallway light, and I followed behind her into Chloe’s room.
Hailey pulled back the sheets and covers. I eased Chloe into bed and then rolled her over onto her stomach. Hailey straightened out the pajamas she had dressed her in before leaving Mom’s house. Car rides always put Chloe to sleep if her bedtime was close. I had suggested changing her before we left so we wouldn’t have to wake her.
I pulled the covers over Chloe and kissed her on the forehead before whispering, “I love you, Princess.”
Hailey whispered, “Night, baby.”
I pulled the door shut behind us after Hailey walked out of the room. I followed behind her into her bedroom. She picked up an elastic tie from her dresser while I sat on the edge of the bed. As she turned around, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her tight to me.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and slowly massaged her lips against mine. Every nerve in my body felt like it was jumping around with a charge. I’d never wanted someone as much as I wanted her. Whenever we were together the current between us felt like the pull a magnet gives to steel. Not once in my life had I felt that with a girl, and I so desperately wanted to know her in every way possible. I’d often woken up in the middle of a dream of it happening, and if it was anything like my dreams then there are no words that could describe how it would feel.
But I was going to wait until she made that move. I had a reputation, and I didn’t want her to think she was anything like the rest of them.
She grabbed my hand and led me into the living room. I pulled a kitchen chair over as she took a seat in front of the easel next to the sliding glass door.
The Secret That Intervened Page 12