by Ava Danielle
“Shhh, can you keep a secret?” I ask Elliot as we walk under the vaulted ceilings at the terminal.
We’re each facing a wall opposite of the center in the whispering gallery of Grand Central terminal. It’s an acoustical marble that allows a person to whisper into the wall that bounces across a vaulted tiled ceiling and you can hear the person at the other end about thirty or forty feet away. It’s one of those great secrets of Grand Central Station. We look silly and completely ridiculous, but there’s a trick to these walls. You can spill a secret thinking no one can hear you, when instead; the vaulted ceilings carry the secret across the center to the other wall.
“Only if you can keep a secret,” he mumbles quietly.
I explain to him how to stand and which direction to face for the perfect sound when I quietly say, “I kinda like you,” but really not expecting him to hear me just yet.
I’m oblivious when I hear the words return, “I kinda like you too,” and as I stare at him in shock, he just grins.
It’s way too early to tell him I’m starting to fall for him, and honestly, I’d like him to be first. I’m traditional in that sense. Not always when it comes to love or any of that lovey dovey stuff, but there are some things I’d prefer the man to do or say first.
“So, why are we here?” he’s curious as to why I’ve showed him the station when suddenly he sees the big piano centered in the room. No one is around, the Piano seems to be ignored, but when I bat my eyes at Elliot he knows exactly what my pleading look is for. The acoustics in the building are perfect even with a quiet tune it’ll be heard.
“I can’t,” he tries to argue, but he doesn’t see, he can.
Nodding my head, I sit on the bench waiting for him to join me.
“No,” he shakes his head.
“Yes,” I run my finger across the keys.
“You’re crazy,” he smiles as he finally decides to join me on the seat.
Placing his fingers on the right keys, he starts to ignore the world around him and plays. There’s just something about the way his fingers tap across the keys and such a beautiful sound fills the station.
“Wait, I know this,” I whisper as I listen to him continue to play one note after the other.
He smiles at me not even staring at the keys below. He’s played this song a few times.
“Just for you,” he whispers as he continues to play.
In my mind I start to hum the sound along with his playing when the words suddenly fill my mind – darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own, and in your eyes you’re holding mine.
It’s unmistakably, Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect.”
“Be my girl, I’ll be your man. I see my future in your eyes,” Elliot looks right at me as he plays the tune and sings the words along, he continues the rest of the song in lyrics never taking his eyes off mine. He’s perfected this song.
Holding hands, I observe how in awe he is of the city. He’s never taken the time to really explore. We’re New Yorkers, he says, we don’t need to explore the City. But he forgets, there’s more to the city than the places that all the tourists storm. And one day, he might understand.
“How about a Broadway production?” I ask after I showed him his future home of the Symphony.
“Okay, now you’re just talking crazy,” he laughs.
“Why? You should be interested in that being a musical genius and all,” I smile as we sit in the subway.
“I am, but I can’t afford that kind of date with you,” he looks a bit ashamed.
“Stick with me kid and I’ll show you my ways of getting in,” I grin knowing my best friend has tickets to any production for me.
Tidbit, Isabelle works for Broadway and has ways to get me any ticket I could ever imagine. Hamilton being one I can never tire of watching. But I wonder if Rent would be one of Elliot’s choices. The music just sticks with you, I can sing along to every word.
The city I’m wandering with my girl is magical, but not as magical as she is while the lights of Time’s Square shine on her and reflect all the blinking colors. She’s gorgeous even in just a pair of jeans and motivational T-Shirt – Y’all ain’t right – walking and showing me the city she calls home.
I’m not a city guy, not as much as she is. Another reason I liked my school, it wasn’t in an overcrowded city you could get lost in walking only five blocks away. But Melody is happy here, it’s written across her face as she lights up talking about every little hidden gem of this city. She’s not into the touristy things, she’s been showing me little things not many would know. Starting with her favorite local pizza place that barely anyone knows about unless you’ve lived in the city and found yourself around without a map. Yeah, that’s not me.
We dance in the streets, but that’s because at every corner there’s a kid on steps playing some kind of instrument. We’re entertained even when we’re not even downtown anymore. There’s so much going on, it’s true to its name – the city that never sleeps.
Cuddled on the couch I dread telling her I have to leave tomorrow. I would be back, that’s been decided, I’m just not sure when and where I’ll live. I look forward to working with her in this city.
A text message vibrates in my pocket, but once I check it, I wish I hadn’t.
Silence fills the room as the movie Elliot and I have been watching ended and even the credits have faded away. I’m afraid to ask what worries him or even what’s on his mind, I am however, impatient and a very curious person that the fear of what his answer might be quickly fades away.
“Are you okay?” I’m not sure how else to start up a conversation.
“Yes, I just don’t want to leave you,” he whispers.
His arms are wrapped around me as I lie on his chest. I can hear the beat of his heart and feel his chest bump against my cheek.
“Then don’t,” I sigh.
“I have to leave tomorrow.”
“What?” I start to lean up when he pushes me back down to get comfortable again.
“Yeah, I have to get back to pack all my things and start to move them back home until I figure out where to stay in the city.”
“You can stay with me,” I shout the words faster than I even given it an extra thought.
“Babe, as flattering as that sounds, we’ve known each other for about three weeks now and only spent maybe a week combined together. That’s moving it a little fast, don’t you think?”
He’s right, but now I get the feeling he doesn’t want to be with me, “You don’t want to be with me?” I ask without thinking twice.
“I don’t want to be with anyone but you, that’s why I think it’s not a good idea to move in together, at least not yet,” he kisses the top of my head.
His lips placed against my forehead, and the top of my head, shows me he cares about me. Even if our lips aren’t close or near each other, he finds other ways to show me affection. He touches me every chance he gets and I love that.
“So, there’s hope?” I tease.
“Never say never,” he retorts.
“Okay Justin Bieber,” I kid.
“You’ve just insulted music,” he groans.
“Eh, you might be right,” I do have to agree with him.
Sitting on the front steps of my building, our hands locked, I’m having a hard time letting Elliot go. I know we have our own lives, our own dreams, our own passions to chase, but saying goodbye has never been easy for me. I try to avoid it like the plague. But here we are, saying goodbye. At least I know I’ll see him again soon since we’re both might be in the Symphony together. But with that tight schedule, I’m not sure how much time we’ll actually be able to spend together. I worry our relationship will be consumed with more music than passion.
Love is unpredictable. I’ve been hanging on to the dreams and loss of Melody’s mother, Christine.
Christine was the love of my life, she was the one I was going to spend forever with, grow old with, and be by her side through whatever wou
ld be tossed our way. We looked forward to being a small family; she was so ready to become a mother.
But fate had other plans for us. Only a few hours after Melody was born, there were complications from the birth. I can’t really explain so many years later what had happened because I completely blocked out anything the doctor had said to me. It didn’t matter to me, I felt like my world crashed down on me. I lost Christine, but gained a beautiful baby girl.
Everything I did, I did for Melody. I kept Christine’s memory alive and everything I could share, even the intimate details, I would reveal to Melody. I didn’t want her to feel left out, or replaced. And because I didn’t feel Christine should be replaced, I never dated. I never showed interested in other women, not because I felt bad but because I felt they could never compare to Christine. The years went by and I stayed alone taking care of only my little girl. Not once regretting it.
That’s until I met Janine thanks to our kids. She’s been my neighbor for a very long time, I just never took the time to get to know anyone in the neighborhood, not because I wasn’t interested, but because work always came second, Melody always being my number one priority, so I never took the time to get to know the neighbors.
Janine is a very friendly woman, very attractive, and a smile that can knock you off your feet. She’s actually very stunning. But once we exchanged words much farther than a hello, I noticed how bright she is, how worldly and smart she actually was. We seem to have a lot in common, not only sharing musical children, but following our own passions never straying away from what our dreams are. And most importantly, giving our children anything they needed to follow their own dreams.
Janine and I have been getting to know one another the past few days and after a few dinners, we find ourselves spending a lot more time together. We never run out of things to say and laugh a lot. I hadn’t laughed this much since Christine passed. I laughed, but never nearly as much as I do with Janine. Our sense of humor is illustrious. Her laughter is contagious.
“Elliot called me earlier, Melody seems to be doing a great job showing him around the city,” she sits on the back deck with me, in hand a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Well hello there beautiful,” I smile and close my laptop I had on my lap catching up to some work I had missed.
“Hi, I’m not bothering you, am I?”
“Never, sit down,” I pat the seat next to me on the swing.
Her blonde hair whips around from the wind as the cool air covers her in chills. As I’m covering her in a blanket to assure she’s warm, I can’t help but stare into her beautiful blue eyes. She’s staring back and it seems as if time just stood completely still. Deep down I hear a voice, “Do it Grant, be happy,” it’s the voice of Christine. Continuing to stare at Janine’s beautiful eyes, I don’t hold back. Leaning in, I notice her close her eyes – she wants it too – and as I’m reaching for her beautiful face, only inches from her lips, I close my eyes in order to feel only her lips. It’s a tender kiss. A sweet moment. We’re kissing as if we’re teenagers sharing a first kiss. But as soon as I try to pull back, she leans in for more, reassuring me this moment is special for both her and I.
“Did you know?” I hand Janine a Hershey’s kisses, “Nigglywiggly is the actual name of the little paper flag thingy sticking out of the top of the Hershey’s kisses?”
She gives me a perplexed look, “What?” as I help her unwrap for the chocolate deliciousness.
“Yes, that’s your fun fact of the day,” I smile as I place the piece of chocolate I had stolen out of her hand into my mouth, “Mmmm” I murmur and watch her face shift from confused to laughter.
“You stole my piece,” she attempts to look sad as I unwrap another piece of Hershey’s kiss and place it against her lips, “Open wide,” and watch her break out in laugher.
“That’s not what I was thinking,” she laughs with a mouthful of chocolate.
“Pervert!”
We need to talk, ASAP!
Words you never want to read in a text message from your ex. Words that worry you. Words sad love songs are made of. Rock songs use these words in anger. And country stars have a field day with only those words. It could be anything. It could be the worst. It could be - I want to get back together. It could be anything. I sit and worry.
While I wait for Samantha to show up at my apartment, I doodle on my notebook.
She’s the light at the end of my tunnel
The one I’m supposed to be with.
The one that I’m destined to have in my life.
She’s my perfect Melody.
As I try to continue, Samantha barges into my apartment handing me a piece of paper as she sits on my bed trying to catch her breath. I need to remember to take the keys back from her.
“Hello to you too,” I say with one of my normal undertones when it comes to her.
“Hi,” she huffs, “So, do you understand?” she asks I’m staring at a black and white piece of paper trying to figure out what it could mean.
“No, it looks like an ultrasound, I don’t know how to read that shit,” I’m annoyed.
“You’re looking at your baby,” she rolls her eyes as mine get big staring at her.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You knocked me up. Congratulations.”
I can’t help but laugh at the absurd statement she just made, “I did no such thing. You’re on the pill and we used condoms,” I hand her the picture back, “Had to be one of the fuckers you cheated with. Your many fuckboys.”
“Ha Ha. You’re funny,” but she misjudged, I’m actually not being funny, I was serious.
“You keeping it?” I’m not sure if this is the right question to ask or not.
“Of course, I’m keeping it. You know how I feel about abortions.”
“Actually, I don’t, we never talked about it,” I’m honest.
“Well, now you know. So, buckle up honey, we’re having a baby together,” she hands me a list of things to do and get before the baby arrives.
“How far along are you?” There has to be a loophole where she slept with someone else.
“Nine weeks, so yeah, it’s definitely yours,” she keeps repeating herself as if she’s doubting herself or trying to keep her story straight.
My mind goes back to the time we dated. Back to all the nights we spent together, if it could be mine. If it is, I’m fucked. I’m not ready to be a dad. I’m not ready to settle down, especially not with Samantha. I have plans. I have a new job. I’m furthering my career. I’m actually going where I always dreamed. How will a child and a relationship with Samantha fit into any of my dreams? They won’t.
“You need to go,” I demand as I’m battling with my own thoughts.
“We need to talk about this,” she’s adamant on staying.
“There’s really nothing to talk about right now, not until I figure out what to do,” I’m honest.
“You’re gonna help me raise this baby, that’s what you’re going to do,” she yells before she storms out of the apartment.
Fuck my life. How am I supposed to raise a child in the city or hell, pay for one nonetheless? I’m not going to be making the big money until I’m good enough and have established my spot in the orchestra. And I’m honestly not willing to give up that dream just because Samantha was irresponsible enough to get knocked up. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO! I always used condoms and she promised she was also on the pill so how could this even happen? I know that shit is just 99% guaranteed, but we used more than one birth control, so how the fuck did that just happen?
Elliot has been gone a few days now, we talk daily, but I miss him deeply. I know I said he could live with me however, I’m glad he turned me down. Sure, it would be great to wake up next to him daily and to go to bed with him at night, but we’re still fresh, we aren’t really exclusive, and still trying to find our ways around each other. It’s still the beginning phase of a relationship and I’m not bound to ruin it with the daily life. And
honestly, the past few days Elliot has been acting a bit strange and out of the ordinary. And when I mentioned it, he waves it off by changing the subject completely. I know I shouldn’t worry and I shouldn’t pry, but I can sense something isn’t right.
There’s a knock at my door and for a second I get extremely excited it could be Elliot, but knowing he’s in Rochester because we just talked this morning, that excitement washes away and I’m left with curiosity. Opening I see my landlord outside of my door, “Mr. Brown, how can I help you?” I’m pretty sure I’ve paid my rent and I hadn’t done anything I shouldn’t, I’m a pretty decent tenant, so I thought.
“Melody, the apartment across the hall will become vacant soon, if you hear of anyone in need of a place, keep that in mind, I’d like to get it rented out sooner than later, but I’d also like decent tenants this time so I thought I’d ask my favorite tenants if they perhaps knew of anyone,” he continues to talk but there’s only one person I could think of.
“Actually, Mr. Brown, there actually might be,” I’m a bit euphoric, “Can I call and ask first and make sure it’s okay with this person before I just give the number out like candy?” I smile.
“Of course, let me know,” he smiles as he says goodbye and walks away.
“Perfect,” I say out loud as I close the door and pull my phone out of my back pocket.
Dialing the number, I get super excited and hope I don’t stutter, “Hey sweetheart,” Elliot picks up after the first ring.
“Babe, I found a place for you to live,” I ramble on about the neighbors moving blah blah blah – and his only words are, “Where do I sign?”
Overly excited I pace my apartment with the hopes of seeing him soon. The paperwork is drawn up virtually and he will be officially moving across the hall from me. We’re going to be neighbors before we’ll be roomies and I couldn’t be more excited. I know this might be a little too close, what if we have problems or break up? There would always be a chance I’d run into him. But I’d take that chance in order to have him near me. To be fully honest, I’d feel a little more protected knowing he’s across the hall. Heavy Metal headbanging dude, I didn’t see him saving me if there ever was a fire or robbery.