by Ava Danielle
“I’m sorry,” I hear him say.
“What?” I play dumb to have him say again, girl tactic.
“I’m sorry I was such an ass,” he takes my hand into his as we sit at a red light.
“Don’t worry about it babe, I understand this isn’t easy for you, but I promise you, my father isn’t like that, he won’t just leave her or cheat on her, he will treat her right and if they can’t make it work, I’m sure they’re smart enough to figure that out on their own and can discuss it like adults. We just have to trust that a little,” I comfort him hoping it’s the right words.
“You’re absolutely right. I had no right to act like a dick though,” he apologizes again.
“Just make up for it later,” I grin at him.
“With pleasure,” he leans in to give me a long passionate kiss, while we wait for the red light to turn green, but that comes faster as we’d expected, the cars behind us honk and are clearly getting annoyed by our long make out session as some start to even move around us.
“Shit, when I kiss you, I forget everything around me, even time.”
Those words make me tingle.
So, I was mad, sue me. I was upset and overwhelmed and mostly shocked to find out my mother is moving on, which she should, but it’s still a little overwhelming and honestly, I couldn’t even tell you why I feel that way. Maybe because something else is on my mind and I already feel on edge. This whole Samantha/baby thing just won’t leave my mind.
“Let me grab that bottle of wine I have in my fridge and I’ll come over to your place,” Melody says as we arrive at our apartments.
“Sounds good,” I unlock my door and enter my apartment.
Placing my keys on the table next to the door I see a purse I’ve never seen before. I thought I’ve known all of the three purses she owns. Despite my strange feeling I continue through my apartment and as I notice my bedroom door closed, which I never do after we leave that room, I can sense something fishy going on. Something bad is about to go down.
Perhaps the bottle of wine will cheer him up and maybe when I change into something a little sexier, he’ll be so distracted he won’t care about the crazy dinner tonight. I’m seriously not in the mood to discuss it any furthermore and ready to be us again, without the clouds overhanging us about our parents being alone together. Wait. Will that make us step siblings? Now that does sound a little weird.
Changing into my sexy tank and shorts pajamas from Victoria’s Secret that I feel most comfortable in and still sexy showing off enough skin to capture his attention, I grab two wine glasses and the bottle, swing my door open, just to find Elliot closing his door.
“What are you doing?” I’m surprised to see him leave his apartment coming towards me.
“We’re hanging at your place,” his face completely pale.
“Why? I thought we’re trying out your new sheets?” I wink walking towards him.
“Cockroaches,” he mumbles and tries to push me back into my place.
“Cockroaches? Oh shit, well let’s handle that, I’ll call Mr. Brown. I knew that guy was a dirt bag,” I mumble as I walk back into my place to put the bottle and glasses on the table.
“Nah, I’ll take care of it in the morning,” he stutters, “I’d rather take care of you,” he charms his way into my place and closes the door behind.
“So, you’re just going to let them run wild in your place?” I’m referring to the roaches.
“What’s one night?” his arms wrap around me in a seductive way.
“I was actually looking forward hearing you play tonight,” I admit, loving the sound he fills the apartment with when he plays the piano.
“I’ll play tomorrow when it’s all cleared up, okay?” his hands wander all over my body, “did I tell you how fucking sexy you look tonight?”
“Now or earlier?”
“Always!”
He won me over with his charms, his sexy attempt of swooping me off my feet and carry me into my bedroom, except he banged my legs into the corner of the wall forgetting I’m not as short as he imagined me to be, “Shit, I’m so sorry,” he is worried about me while I laugh my ass off, “You weren’t good at math, were you?” I tease.
Love is in the air and I know it. And while we’re loving each other in bed, kissing our bodies, making sweet love, I hear the words I never anticipated on hearing. At least not this soon.
“Melody,” he whispers as our naked bodies are wrapped up in each other.
“Yes?” I stare into his wonderfully golden-brown eyes.
“I know it’s still early on, but I’m developing some strong feelings for you,” and he says the exact words I’d been thinking all this time, “I love you!”
His fingers placed softly against my lips in the hopes I wouldn’t repeat what I might not mean. I slide his fingers away, bite my lips, and say the words I’ve never said to a man and actually mean them, “I love you, too.”
Sometimes while I look at her, when she’s smiling in her sleep, I wonder how I got so lucky to have this woman in my life. And it’s even harder to keep the secrets from her, but until I know for sure, I won’t burden her with my sorrows just yet. She doesn’t need my worries.
The soft-spoken words of last night were true. I’m in love with her and I will do everything in my powers to hold on to her. But first.
“Where have you been? First, I thought maybe I got the wrong apartment until I found a bank statement with your name on it. Then I thought you might be working later, so I ignored it, but when I woke up in the middle of the night you were still not home and now you’re just walking through the door. Where the fuck have you been?”
“Hello Samantha, care to explain how you got into my apartment?” I’m cool and content.
“I told your landlord I was your wife, duh, I lost my key, fucker believed every word,” she laughs but pissed off.
“I’d like you to leave please,” I’m still quiet and just willing to get her out of my apartment without causing a scene for Melody to overhear.
Samantha laughs, “Yeah, whatever. I have nowhere else to be.”
“How’d you find me anyway?”
“Babe, I have my ways,” she snorts.
“Well, take those ways and please leave, I’m no longer your home,” I make clear,
“You wish,” she makes herself comfortable on my couch and I notice a hint of a growing stomach peek through underneath her shirt.
“I’m not kidding, Samantha. You need to get out. You’re the one who cheated on me, you’re just sorry you got caught, not that you’ve done it, so for the last time, leave,” I slowly open the door to see if Melody’s in the hallway. Coast is clear, “Here’s the door, GO,” my voice tends to get a louder.
“Fine,” she gets off the couch, “Abby, that’s what I’m naming your daughter and I are leaving,” she struts by my jingling keys before me, “but I’m keeping these, courtesy of your lovely landlord,” and as I try to pry them away from her, she’s already stuck them into her pocket and left. Unfuckingbelievable.
“Love you babe,” she screams as I slam the door in her face and while I stare through my peep hole, she fades away and Melody’s door remains close.
Sighing, “Shit, that was close,” I continue about my business in the apartment, but a knock scares the living daylights out of me. I actually almost screamed like a girl.
One look through the peep hole before I open and let the devil in, I see a beautiful Melody before me.
“Okay, where are they?” she marches through the day as a woman on a mission.
“What? Who? She’s gone? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” a nervous stutter.
“Huh? The roach’s silly, they were females? Damn,” she’s laughing as she circles around the apartment.
“Oooh, right,” I remember the cockroach story I concocted, “I got rid of them, it turns out it was just one and I squashed him like you wouldn’t believe. Hey, how about we go out for lunch to celebrate?”
New York City is so big you won’t be running into any exes or crazy women, right? I mean, what are the odds I’d run into Samantha out and about. I just have to convince Melody that we should venture to other parts of the city, not just locally and around the corner, that’s where Samantha would be and expect us. Still it surprises me to see her. She’s from out of state. She’s an Arkansas girl, a very high maintenance southern Girl. I wish she would move home and just forget I ever existed, I wish I could do that, pretend she never was a relationship in my life, attempting to erase her, but it’s extremely hard when she shows up and now apparently owns a set of keys to my apartment. That alone scares the shit out of me.
With my girl enclosed tight in my arms, we walk the streets of the city in search of something to eat. She’s giddy as I’m a bit of standoffish trying to come up with ways to tell her the truth without her running into a direction far away from me. If I lose her, I’d lost everything I’d ever asked for in my life. All those birthday wishes over the years wishing for the perfect woman will all have been for nothing when I fuck it up by keeping the truth from Melody. And no one really deserves that. But I decide on a romantic dinner and maybe even introduce Samantha to her, maybe that’ll make Sam realize I’ve moved on and so should she. If this is my baby, I’ll have to take responsibility. If it’s not, then this nightmare will be over and I can move forward.
“You’re really quiet today, is everything okay?” Melody looks concerned.
“Just something on my mind, I’d like to surprise you with a romantic dinner tonight, how’s that sound?” that should be clue enough why I’m a bit quiet.
“Oh really? Will I be wowed?”
“If I do it right, I hope you will be,” we kiss in the middle of the street as a Taxi drives by and happens to hit the only puddle in the road splashing and drenching us from head to toe.
“Should’ve gotten a room,” some elderly woman says from her apartment window as Melody and I just break down laughing.
Any other woman would’ve been freaking out about our good clothes ruined by the nasty city water that covered us, but Melody’s belly laugh said otherwise. She was cracking up and I had to hold her up from passing out on the ground. Even covered in dirt and grime, she’s still the most beautiful girl in the world.
Cleaned. Dressed in something decent after being covered in gunk from a taxi, I’m more than excited to see what romantic dinner Elliot has planned. I know he said I couldn’t show up until later, but I just can’t wait any longer, I need to see him now.
Full of glee and excitement, I open my door and with the biggest grin, head towards his apartment, but I’m stopped. Deadlocked. Flabbergasted. A pregnant woman is standing by his door and leaning into Elliot as if she’s someone familiar.
“Not now,” he whispers, “You just need to go,” he tries to push her away.
“One last kiss,” she demands and it seems like he doesn’t say no.
They hadn’t seen me, so I quietly try to back into my apartment, but like a creeper I stare between the crack of the door observing their conversation. He seems to be interested in what she has to say, but she seemed to have shown up at the wrong time. I can’t let them see me, but curiosity keeps me from shutting the door completely. I’m on edge with questions, but I don’t want to see him. The pregnant lady is pretty, very pretty, so why’s he with me?
Leaning against the door inside of my apartment, I slide down and try to wrap my brain around what I just witnessed. Heartbreak. Sadness. Tears stream down my face and I feel as if I just got tore into million pieces. Elliot just kissed another woman. A pregnant woman. Is she the reason he’s been acting so strange the past few days. Is he seeing someone else? Am I his affair? Is she his affair? The knock at the door nearly gave me a heart attack as I pretend I’m not leaning against the door. Another knock and a silent, “Melody” fades through the door. Incapable of answering, I ignore any tactics. Then my phone rings across the room and I’m hoping he doesn’t hear the sound through the door, the sound of a phone I’m not willing to answer. I need a minute. Or two.
One bottle of beer.
Two bottles of beer.
Three bottles of beer.
Four bottles of beer.
Confronting someone drunk is never a good idea, this I know, but it’s also not good to sulk on my own and drown in my tears. It’s not healthy for me to sit here and wonder and if my speech slurs, well I hope he speaks drunk because he’s about to speak Melody.
Tipsy and barely able to stand still I leave my apartment and bang on his door. No quiet knock. No silence, with my bottle of beer in my hand I’m ready to give him some hell. This is a Melody he’s never seen and one I would never hide, I just have to bring her out with a couple of hard beers and she’ll put on quite the show.
“Melody,” he is surprised to see me, “I’ve been calling, knocking, I was ready to call the cops,” he seems upset, but relieved as he tries to wrap me into his arms.
“No!” I ease back, “I’m mad. Really mad. You have another woman? I’m your affair?” I have no idea if anything makes sense I’m saying, and the fact there are two Elliot’s before me is not helping me concentrate, on the contrary, it’s distracting, he’s sexy as fuck, “So, we’re done,” I say as I try to turn around to walk away from him.
His hand tightens on my shoulder, “Wait, Melody, let me explain,” the words no woman ever wants to hear.
“Fuck you, Elliot. You’re a player like all men, each of you is the fucking same, go to hell,” I try to pull away but he’s refusing to let me go as his grip on me hardens.
Anger boils through me, as I turn around, “Are you too stupid to hear me? Let me fucking go,” I scream as I toss my beer in his face.
I just wasted a good beer but watching the beer trickle down his perplexed face was priceless and totally worth it. I meant every word I said. I’m done with him. All men are cheaters. What he did to me, there’s no coming back from that. He can hold his breath and die!
I’ve never had a beer tossed in my face so hard it foamed back up. It’s dripping down my face and while I’m in the moment of trying to clean myself up Melody has vanished again. I’m not sure what exactly happened, but I’m sure it has something to do with Samantha. I can’t help but to think she saw us. It all escalated and I’m hoping it’s not too late to fix it. She has to understand, whatever she thinks happened; one big misunderstanding.
I didn’t kiss Samantha. Samantha kissed me. It’s a kiss I would love to forget, I can’t stop from wiping my lips of hers. I wish it never happened. I wish I could’ve told Melody everything over dinner, but I realize now, it’s something I should’ve mentioned right when I found out. I shouldn’t have wished it would’ve all went away on its own.
It won’t.
I might be a father to a child I didn’t know I would’ve wanted. A child that was conceived out of love, but a love that has flickered away and no longer exists. A child with a woman I’ve never loved as much as I love Melody. A woman that has taken every respect I ever had for her and crushed it.
ELLIOT: You need to see when we can do a Paternity test.
SAMANTHA: You’re kidding, right?
ELLIOT: NO! I need to know if I’ll be responsible for this child.
SAMANTHA: I told you I still love you and want to make it work with you, for our child’s sake.
ELLIOT: There is no us. I just want to know if this is really my child.
SAMANTHA It is.
ELLIOT: I’ll want that in black and white and then I’ll believe you.
Every day I try at a chance to speak to Melody. I stand at my front door looking through that peep hole day in and day out hoping I catch her coming or going. But I don’t. It’s as if she can sense me waiting. I’m actually starting to worry there’s something wrong. But any attempt of her attention goes as unnoticed. She ignores me. Even her friends that come by choose to ignore my pleading look. I have no chance of ever getting her back I fear.
Every attempt he makes to talk to me and attempt at resolving our issues, the more I ignore him. I’m not ready for any excuses, for any lies, for anything for the matter. He’s going to be a daddy with a girl I haven’t even had the pleasure of being introduced to and that’s fine with me. There’s no time for me to dwell on all this mess but instead I concentrate on my YouTube Channel again and get back to the swing of things. I will although, him living across the hall makes this breakup twice as hard.
Yes, we are broken up.
Yes, I don’t want to see him anymore.
What’s done is done, there’s no coming back from that.
Walking the streets of the city, I decide to take a trip to Times Square to escape all the pain.
Wounded.
Destroyed.
He took the love I felt and squashed it with one simple lie. I don’t care if it was intentionally, unintentional, or a fluke. I don’t care if they’re unhappy or happy. I don’t care about any of it. I care only about how this affects me and I’m hurt.
The many people flooding the streets even in the dark with all the bright lights reflecting off buildings can’t seem to distract me. The ads on the virtual billboards capture my attention; the conversations around me leave me feeling lonely. There’s music coming from a corner I’m drawn to. With a slow ease I near the sound and can’t believe my eyes.