What he was feeling was probably the most normal thing he'd ever felt in his fucking life, and Jesus, I wanted something normal for my suffering brother, something that would make shit better, that would ease his ever-present guilt.
Nyx blew out a breath at the sight of my smile, then he nodded, before twisting back around to return to his seat. When Cammie tried to climb onto his lap, he growled something at her that had her scampering away, and amid the chaos of the party, he just sat there, staring into space.
Nyx wasn't someone who was easy to understand, and most didn't bother.
But then, I wasn't most people, was I?
Not even Nyx knew about our connection, and if I had it my way, he never fucking would.
❖
Nyx
Two days later
I’d hoped that things would change after that look two nights ago, but Giulia had been back on fighting form the morning after. So much so, that her pisspoor attitude was impossibly worse, to the point where it was actually starting to amuse me. As well as irritate me into doing shit I’d normally never do.
Having never been dismissed so much in my entire fucking life, and never having been insulted as much, not since I first earned my cut at any rate, I had to admit to being intrigued by the little bitch.
That first steak meal she’d made for us with two types of potatoes, two types of sauce, and two types of veggies had satisfied every brother on the council, and as I’d savored the good grub, along with every other meal she made being pure gold, it was evident that everyone was going to be A-Okay with her staying on and cooking.
After the shit the sweetbutts tried to pass off as food, it was safe to say that everyone was a lot more cheerful in the light of what she was feeding us.
This week, we’d had everything from a casserole that melted in my fucking mouth to a goddamn cherry pie that, aside from being delicious, had stained her lips a cherry pink.
A pink I wanted to lick off that smart-assed mouth of hers.
What was it Jerry Hall had said about marriage?
A good wife should be a lady in the lounge, a slut in the bedroom, and a chef in the kitchen?
Well, some crap like that. All I knew was that I didn’t need a fucking lady, but a slut and a chef would suit me perfectly. Especially if she made BLTs like Giulia did.
She’d been around for just over a week, and I swore I’d never thought about a woman as much in my life. Carly didn’t count. She was my sister. The woman I’d let down. Giulia? I didn’t have a fucking clue what she was to me. I just knew that no one, no. one, had the ability to annoy the hell out of me like Giulia did.
As I scratched the scruff on my chin, I let Cammie suck me off. Not because I wanted her mouth around my cock, not because I even wanted to get off, but because I wanted to piss Giulia off. I wanted to give her a fucking reason to have an attitude with me which, I knew, made no sense, but fuck me, neither did her logic.
When Cammie started to fidget, I knew it was because I was taking longer than usual to get off, and I knew her jaw had to be aching, but being the cunt I was, I didn’t let her up. If anything, I tightened my grip in her hair and made her work even more for my cum. She’d been fluttering around me more than usual, and that was pissing me off too.
Cammie wasn’t dumb. She knew my interest in her was waning, but the way to my heart wasn’t through hovering around me. If anything, I was glad for her to be on her knees so I didn’t have to listen to her talk about how ‘good’ we were together.
As she slurped me down, and as I appreciated the silence, I watched Giulia with her brothers. She didn’t spend that much time in the bar, and I figured it was because her dad, after staying away for the first few days, was usually in here at this time of night. He’d left earlier, which was why she’d come in, but I had to wonder why she’d even bothered because I wasn’t the only one being sucked off, sex in here was par for the course, and her disapproval was evident.
James Dean—his legit road name—was fucking Lottie against the bar, just a few feet away from where Giulia was sitting with her goddamn nose in the air. Then there was Enya, who was being eaten out on the pool table by no less than two brothers. Everything about the scene irked her. I saw it, registered her tension, her disgust, and despite myself, I felt my irritation grow.
The weird thing was, she wasn’t sanctimonious. If anything, she was easygoing. I’d heard her joking with a couple of the brothers over meals and with her siblings, she was funny when she didn’t think anyone could actually hear her. So what rubbed me the wrong way, I couldn’t say. Just that she did.
Badly.
How could I appreciate her spunk and fire one minute, then want to take that pious glare of hers and make her see something that really would fucking disgust her, I didn’t know. But she got under my skin worse than anyone I’d ever goddamn come across. I didn’t like feeling as though someone was looking down on me, and Giulia was doing exactly that.
These bastards were my family, and we didn’t need no snooty, snotty piece of skirt coming in and looking at us like we were trash.
When Heather moaned a few feet away from her, Giulia jerked in place, her cheeks burning a bright, red-hot pink that had to be fueled by anger. I watched as she punched one of the twins in the arm, then leaned up on tiptoe to kiss the other on the cheek.
That didn’t take much guessing. North had already charmed most of the snatch in the club, and even though he was still only a Prospect, which made the sweetbutts off limits, the bitches were going to be happy as fucking Larry when he could bone them. Hawk, on the other hand, was a miserable cunt. Even I thought that, and I was a miserable cunt too.
Without a backward glance, she scurried out of the bar, and I had to admit it pissed me off that she didn’t look at me.
I knew she was aware of where I was sitting.
When I’d hollered at Cammie to come and suck me off, her eyes had glanced over me, her top lip curling in disgust before she’d darted her gaze back to her brothers and kept her attention fixed on them.
One of the reasons I hadn’t come yet was the fact that I’d been willing her to look at me. To watch as another bitch sucked me down. My motives were suspicious, even for me, but all I’d known was that Cammie’s Dyson mouth hadn’t done shit for me tonight.
Not when she was in the audience.
Not when she was the reason I’d had the clubwhore go down on me in the first place, but it was the wrong mouth. The wrong eyes staring back up at me.
The second she’d gone, tension filled me, and I shoved Cammie off of me. She staggered back, reaching up to wipe her mouth, but I ignored her as I got to my feet, zipped up, and stormed out the room without a look behind me.
It didn’t take a fucking genius to figure out where Giulia was going, so I followed her, wanting her to know that her piece of shit attitude wasn’t going to cut it. She didn’t have to approve, we didn’t need her goddamn support, but no way in hell was I going to let her cut into my mood again. At that moment, she was to blame for my failure to come, global goddamn warming, and the melting ice caps.
As I practically ran through the front door in an effort to catch up with her—those short legs of hers were surprisingly quick—I came to an abrupt halt at the sight of Dog, who I’d thought had gone home for the night, with his hand on her arm. It was the first time I’d ever seen them alone together, and I scanned the situation quickly, trying to figure out what was going down, because this was no daughter-daddy reunion. She was scrabbling at his fingers, trying to get him to let go, and when she released a sharp cry as he tightened his hold on her, my jaw clenched, all my anger at her forgotten as I ran toward her.
“Just leave me the fuck alone,” she ground out, her voice as loaded with vinegar as ever. “You didn’t have any trouble forgetting I was your fucking kid when I was in Utah, so don’t trouble yourself over me now.”
My eyes widened when Dog raised his hand, twisted it around, and made to backhand her. I got there
just in fucking time. She flinched, jerking back in preparation for a smackdown even as she raised her forearm in an attempt to block his hit. With me around, she didn’t need to. I grabbed his wrist, held it tightly in my grasp, and as I crunched it between my fingers, I shoved his arm behind his back then kicked his knees out from under him. He cursed at me then cried out as I dropped my hold on him so he landed with a dull thud in the gravel drive.
Uncaring that I’d just maimed a brother, I hissed, “Exactly what the fuck did you think you were doing, Dog?”
As he cradled his wrist, he spat, “Fuck you, Nyx. She’s my daughter. I can do what the fuck I want—”
“No, you goddamn can’t,” I growled, somehow more livid now than I’d been with Giulia back in the bar. “You think it’s okay to smack women?”
Giulia, because she had no fucking sense, sneered, “Why not? He did it to my mom all the time.”
My eyes narrowed into a thin squint at that. “You beat Lizzie?”
“What the fuck do you care?” Dog snarled. “She was my bitch. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted with her. And this little cunt is just as bad as her momma. Never did know when to control her tongue—”
“You really shouldn’t have said that,” I snarled, and rolling back my arm, I slingshotted my goddamn fist into his fucked-up face. Even the snap of cartilage, the blood busting from his nostrils, and his wail of pain didn’t make me feel better.
I wanted to pound on him. Really. I did. I wanted to kick his fucking face in. But in front of Giulia? No.
A man had to have standards.
Granted, mine weren’t that high, but I wasn’t about to do that shit in front of her.
Later?
Yeah, that was another matter.
I’d seen her grief. Even beneath her disgust at the way we all led our lives here at the clubhouse, I knew she was hurting, so beating the crap out of her POS father wasn’t on my to-do list tonight.
Dog crumpled in on himself as he shielded his face, and his voice was a garble as he cried, “My nose! My fucking nose! You broke it!”
“Say shit about Lizzie around me again, and I’ll do more than fucking break it.”
God, I was beyond tempted to kick him in the belly while he was down. Let’s face it, I’d done worse in my time, but I grabbed Giulia by the wrist, and began dragging her toward the bunkhouses.
After twenty or so feet, she began tugging at my grip. I glowered, whirling around to pin her with my irritation. “We got a fucking problem or something?”
“You’re hurting me,” she snapped, but it wasn’t a whimper. Wasn’t even a mutter. She’d just seen me break her father’s nose, and while she didn’t know me, she didn’t cower. She fought the fuck back, and if that didn’t do more for my cock than Cammie had while she was sucking on it trying to get me off, then hell if I knew what was going on with my body.
I hadn’t intended on hurting her. If I had, shit might have been different. Still, I instantly loosened my grip, but I didn’t let go.
I couldn’t.
Don’t ask me why, but that shit wasn’t something I could do.
When she stared at me, half glower, half look, I watched her accept the difference in my hold on her with a wryness that had her eyes twinkling.
“You’re an ass, aren’t you?”
My brows shot up. Whatever I’d expected her to say, it wasn’t that.
“I’ve been called worse, so I’ll take ‘ass’ as a compliment.”
“You’ve no idea how much that tells me about you, do you?” she grumbled dryly. She peered over her shoulder where her father was still on his knees, still wailing about his goddamn nose, and her smile beamed at me. “Thank you for that.”
Her gratitude was genuine, and for this past week, though I’d known she was hot as fuck—how could Lizzie’s daughter be anything else? As a teenager, I’d have fucked Lizzie faster than I’d have tried to steal some smokes from one of the brothers—but that smile? Goddamn. It floored me.
When I said floored, I meant it was like a fucking revelation.
All the bravado, all her sass, all her orneriness, all of it disappeared in that moment, leaving behind the real woman. Leaving behind a Giulia I wanted to know. Fuck, more than that. Needed to know. More than I needed my next damn breath.
My entire fucking life seemed to flash before my eyes, a life that had happened before her. What I saw wasn’t pretty, but it was me. All of me. Flaws and sins and all, and fuck me, I wanted her to know it. Know every dark and depraved thing about me so that she could push me away, run from me, take herself away so I wasn’t tempted to taint her with my shit.
For a second, I could do nothing more than stare at her. Wishing I wasn’t a selfish cunt, wanting, for Giulia’s sake, and her mom’s, to be a better man.
But I wasn’t.
I was a Satan’s Sinner, and we took what we wanted.
We didn’t relent, we didn’t concede, and we didn’t step back.
With that one smile, Giulia had sealed her fate, and she didn’t even fucking know it.
I wanted her, and I’d take what I wanted.
Like she realized I wasn’t following the conversation a hundred percent, she frowned at me. But even that frown was different. She didn’t scowl at me like usual, or glare or glower. If anything, her eyes were gentle as she asked, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Then, she bit her lip. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I swallowed, my Adam’s apple bobbing with the force of what I was feeling. I was no pussy, but what I’d just felt pummeled me worse than any of the brothers could even dream of during a sparring session. And sweet fuck, I wanted to be the one gnawing on her bottom lip. Not her.
“No reason,” I told her, when I got my voice back, but I still sounded like I’d just smoked a packet of cigarettes. “Let me take you to your place.”
Her frown deepened. “No. It’s okay, Nyx. I’m good from here. It’s literally two minutes to the front door.”
“Apparently not, if your fucking father thinks it’s okay to accost you on the way to your room.” My jaw tensed as outrage swelled inside me, overtaking even the most overwhelming of emotions she’d triggered in me. “I’ll deal with him.”
She shook her head, letting a chestnut lock drift over her forehead. I watched as the tip collided with the rosebud mouth that was beginning to fascinate me. I’d seen it pursed in disgust, revulsion, and all kinds of other shit that pissed me off to think about, but mostly, now, I just thought about that rosebud around my cock.
Fuck, I wanted that.
So goddamn badly.
Giulia reached up and tugged at the piece of hair that had gotten stuck in her lip gloss, and her fingers drifted over her cheek—touching skin I wanted to feel against my palm.
Temptation burned inside me.
Fuck, it did more than just burn. It scorched me, but I was used to the pain. Used to it, and even embraced it. It grounded me. Kept me sane.
“It’s okay. He won’t hurt me. I’ve been ignoring him all week. That was a culmination of the ignoring I’ve been doing.” Giulia grunted. “Guess that didn’t work out too well for me, but I don’t think he’ll give me any more shit. He wants me around as little as I want him around.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “He’s been giving you shit?”
She snorted. “Why would you care? He’s a brother, isn’t he? Aren’t you on his side?”
“I’m on no one’s side. But, and it’s a big fucking but, I liked your mom. I don’t want to hear shit about him beating the fuck out of her.”
Those mocha eyes stopped twinkling, and sadness graced them. “To be fair, if he hit her, she hit him back. Usually twice as hard.”
Because I could easily see Lizzie doing that, I barked out a laugh. Suddenly, I felt better. Dog hadn’t gotten away with shit because Lizzie hadn’t let him.
She jerked back at my laugh, then muttered, “Not sure that’s something to laugh at.”
“Isn’t
it?” She shook her head, so with the hand that wasn’t still around her wrist, I touched the skin my fingers had been craving to caress since she had. Tension filled her as I dragged my thumb over her cheek. “To me, it is. Lizzie was a fireball.” Fuck, I hoped Giulia had her fire.
From what I’d learned of her so far, she did, and I couldn’t wait to be razed to the ground in her inferno.
❖
Giulia
The way he looked at me?
I’d never been looked at like that before. Like he wanted to devour me.
Consume me.
And Jesus, how I wanted to be consumed in his fire.
I’d never wanted that before. Ever. I was still young, but I’d been popular at school. I had more tits and ass than I knew what to do with, and half of the football team had spent most of high school trying to get into my panties.
Not one of them had managed it.
Why?
Because I saw what the kind of looks I had did to a woman. I saw it because I looked like my mom, and knowing what she’d gone through, it didn’t make me predisposed to easily let a man between my legs.
I wasn’t a virgin, far from it, but I’d always been selective about who I fucked, and guys like Nyx? Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Not only because he was a brother, and I knew what they were like with women—shit, only a few minutes before he broke my dad’s nose he’d had that slut’s lips around his dick—but because Nyx was exactly the kind of man I didn’t allow into my body.
He was hard, dark, twisted even. I saw that in his eyes. Saw it in his face. There was a pain there that I hated because it called to me. That stupid feminine part inside me, that integral part every woman had since we were cavewomen running around after hairy Neanderthals, wanted to fix him. Wanted to help heal him.
But I knew better.
There was no healing this kind of man.
No fixing him.
Whatever he was, he was fucked up inside, and I saw that, recognized it in him, and knew to back away.
Or, at least, to try.
Trouble was, when a man like Nyx got you in his sights, there was no getting away from him.
Nyx: A Dark & Dirty MC Romance (Satan’s Sinners MC Book 1) Page 9