“I need to grab my things.”
“Go. You have ten minutes. I’ll meet you outside.”
With that declaration, he headed out of the kitchen, leaving me gaping at the notes I’d been making for this week’s shopping list.
That was the one joy of this shit job. I didn’t have to buy the food, nor did I have to clean up. I just made the meals, and the sluts did the rest. I considered that a massive win. Especially since there was an industrial dishwasher. If they’d had to wash by hand, then I’d have done the dishes myself. Prejudiced? Yup. And proudly so. In my defense, it was a wonder venereal diseases weren’t airborne in this fucking place.
With an admittedly supercilious sniff, I left that thankless and never-ending task behind, something I’d been doing every two damn days since I arrived, because we were going through more food than a zoo. I rushed out of the clubhouse and over to the little bunkhouse where my stuff was.
Of course, before I escaped, I saw someone having sex by the front door, and because I was getting used to it, I didn’t even try to avoid seeing who was boning who, just let it float over my head as I bypassed them to make it outside.
When an arm shot out and grabbed me, I jerked in surprise. The biker, a douche called Lever, was screwing Jingles—her tits had little bells dangling from her nips—and he thought he could touch me?
Ew.
Wanting to douse myself in bleach, because only God knew where his hand had been—just the notion made me break out in hives—I jerked out of his hold.
“What the fuck do you want?”
He licked his lips, fleshy, gross things that reminded me of the suckers on squids—with that mental image, who wouldn’t want to fuck him?—and with a cocky smirk, told me, “I’d love a sandwich.”
It was a request I was starting to hate. Everyone wanted a fucking sandwich, but if I didn’t offer it in the kitchen, I sure as fuck didn’t offer it out of it.
And certainly not with a guy who made Jack Skellington look cute.
Barely refraining from shuddering, I shot Jingles a truly sympathetic look and muttered, “I think you’re lucky to be fucking Jingles. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
He frowned, not understanding my meaning. “We should take this upstairs.” His belligerent tone had me gritting my teeth.
“I think you should fuck off,” I barked at him, and with my spare hand, I slammed the side of my palm down on his outstretched arm, at his elbow. It wouldn’t hurt him, but his reflexes would work on my behalf so I could liberate myself.
Before he could complain, and well aware that that wouldn’t be the first or last time he accosted me—wasn’t that something to look forward to?—I mumbled to myself, “As if.”
Some of the guys didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t available, and to be fair, that said a lot about my father and his abilities and position in the MC. If he’d been in the council, or if his brothers had known to fear him, they’d have left me the fuck alone. As it stood, I’d got some come-ons, enough to piss me off and make me grateful that my brothers had taught me self-defense at a young age.
“As if?”
For the second time in as many minutes, I jolted in surprise. Raising a hand to my heart, I sucked in a breath, then released it when I saw it was Nyx.
“What are you doing out here?” I grumbled, trying not to let on that my heart was beating like I was Bugs Bunny.
Okay, so I failed in that competition, because I sounded like I’d been running, and with my boobs, I didn’t run anywhere.
“I told you I’d be waiting on you outside,” he ground out, then his brow furrowed. “Why are you out of breath?”
“No reason.”
A moan sounded right behind me, and I realized I could hear Lever boning Jingles right through the fucking front door.
God help me, I could even hear the bells on her tits!
He snorted at the sound. “Get a little flustered?”
“As if!” I spat, repeating my earlier declaration without meaning to.
“Who’s Jingles fucking?”
It was nauseating that he knew it was her too.
“Lever.”
That had him scowling. I wasn’t sure why, but it did. “Did he come on to you?”
“Maybe,” I mumbled, then my eyes widened when he moved toward me so fast, I thought he was going to slam me into the door. Only, he didn’t. He grabbed the handle and went to open it, and when I realized what he was doing, I shoved myself between him and it, and sputtered, “Where are you going?”
“To smash his face in,” he spat. “I’ve warned him about this.”
“About me?” I shrieked. “Why the fuck would you be warning anyone about me?”
His top lip curled in a sneer. “About any fucking woman. He’s a lecherous prick.” He shouted the last two words, and when Jingles stopped squealing like a pig being killed, I shuddered, because apparently, the message had been rammed home.
I didn’t want to think how.
When Nyx smashed his fist into the door, I scowled at him. “Why do you let him stay in the club, if he treats women like shit?”
“He doesn’t. Not when I’m around.”
“When you’re around.” I sniffed at that qualifier. “So, you’re the unofficial police around here?”
He cocked a brow. “You just call me a pig? Your insults are getting better.” He bared his teeth. “Shame for you I’m losing patience. Go get your shit from the bunkhouse. I want to be on the road soon.”
I glowered at him, but did as bid because I seriously needed to do something with my hand.
If Lever had fingered Jingles with the hand he’d used to touch me... Jesus, I knew from health class that you couldn’t catch the Clap that way, but tell that to my arm.
Seriously, I was having a major issue in sitting down on any of the surfaces in that fucking place, because I knew everything was fair game when it came time to boning people.
And yeah, I said people, because not even the guys were safe.
This was an LGBTQIA friendly zone, apparently. Something that had stunned me almost as much as the fact that Nyx had saved my butt from my dad.
Hustling over to my sleeping quarters, I eyed the building, once again surprised it wasn’t an outright dump, and headed inside.
When I heard moaning coming from one of the bedrooms, I cursed fate for landing me in an unofficial porn movie, and strode over to the place I’d staked out for myself. If only temporarily. This place was pretty sweet, and while it wasn’t home, I loved that there was a connecting bath in my room, and the twin buttheads shared a full bath—one I didn’t touch.
I figured Nyx’s patience wouldn’t last long enough for me to have a shower, but fuck, I really, really wanted one.
Lever’s hand, the morning sweating over a pile of bacon—was it vain that I didn’t want to be on the back of Nyx’s bike for the first time smelling like pig?
Because bacon, apparently, was his favorite perfume.
Not.
Snorting at the thought, even as I dithered over whether I had time or not, I raised my arm to grab my purse, and what I smelled?
Yeah.
There was no way I was heading into a new job with interviews with reps from breweries and the like stinking.
Quickly shucking off my clothes, I headed into the bathroom and put the shower on full blast.
While the place was old, and the tiles a shocking shade of avocado, the water ran hot, making it my favorite place to spend a few minutes every morning and night.
As I leaped into it, I quickly lathered up and got myself squeaky clean. If I used three times the amount of soap on my arm, well, that was between me and the bottle of soap, wasn’t it?
Shuddering at the prospect of Lever even thinking he had a chance with me, I finished up, and hoped Nyx had...
What?
Wouldn’t I have preferred for him to have gone to the bar without me?
Somehow, I was unofficially working with him. All this withou
t even a word from Rex, who hadn’t really spoken to me since that first day, except to ask me to pass him some condiments from the kitchen. Not that I’d spoken to many people since getting here. Nyx was right. I hadn’t bothered trying to make friends, hadn't even tried to make friends with him… Which was evident in the conversations we’d had together, which consisted mostly of arguments.
Well, some of those had been kind of cool.
Cool.
Hah.
Everything about Nyx got me hot and bothered, not cold.
Maybe exhilarating was a better adjective to describe what went down when Nyx and I went head to head conversationally.
When I tried to drag the towel from the hook just outside the shower cubicle and came up with nothing, I grumbled, then opened the shower curtain and screamed when I saw Nyx standing there, towel in hand.
Grabbing the curtain and wrapping it around myself, I hollered, “You fuckwit. What are you doing here? You pervert!”
“Which part of ‘I’m in a fucking rush’ didn’t you understand?” He leaned back against the bathroom wall, just beside the bright green toilet, and crossed his legs at the ankle.
Was this guy for fucking real?
Bitching at me for dicking around, then standing there like he had all the time in the world? What the fuck was that about?
“I had to wash Jingles off my arm.”
He stared at me. “Why would you need to do that? She was boning Lever, not you.” He cocked a brow at me. “Or did I miss something?”
I scowled at him, feeling hot and flustered as I wondered how much of an eyeful he’d caught of me.
The bastard.
As I calibrated just how much of my tits had been visible in the sliver I’d revealed when I’d pulled the curtain aside, I gulped. “Lever touched me. He grabbed my arm.” When he scowled, I knew why. And somehow, even though I was pissed, I was heartened too. What the hell was with this guy and my personal space? Except, of course, when it came to him, and truth be told, I wasn’t about to complain about that. “He could have been touching Jingle’s pussy with those fingers. Ew.” When he blinked at me, I glowered at him, until I started to get chilly, so I huffed, “Can I have the fucking towel? We could have been on the road by now.”
He shrugged. “You’re the one who messed with the program.”
“No. Lever did.” I blew out a breath and let the hair on my forehead flop forward. “If I’d wanted to jerk you around, I’d have washed my hair. But see? It’s dry.”
He snorted. “Some consolation.” When he tipped his head to the side, his gaze drifting up and down my body, I gritted my teeth.
The sticky plastic of the shower curtain clung to my moist skin, and I kind of hated that him, standing there, looking cool and like James Dean before shit had gone bad for the ultimate rebel without a cause, turned me on.
I was mad, truly outraged at his breach of my privacy, but this wasn’t how Nyx usually worked.
Nyx scowled at the prospect of another biker touching me.
He defended me against clubwhores with vendettas, and he stopped my dad from hitting me.
He wasn’t making a move, had no intent to harm me in his head. That was why this was weird.
Anyone else?
I’d have been scared for my safety.
But this was Nyx. And even though I’d known him twelve days, I knew I was safe.
My throat felt tight at that, because safe was relative, wasn’t it?
I’d already established that nothing about Nyx was good for me, and yet, he was the only person who’d made the effort to speak with me.
Even if it was to piss me off most of the time.
Licking my lips, I stared at him, until I whispered the one question that was at the front of my mind. “Why do you talk to me, Nyx?”
Was I surprised when he didn’t come out with some blasé shit? That he didn’t make a joke out of what I said? Yeah. I’ll admit I was. But his words stunned me nonetheless.
“I don’t know.”
I believed him.
He didn’t know either.
For some reason, he let me insult him, talk smack about the people he cared about, and he gave me the benefit of the doubt when all the clubwhores, who he knew more than he did me, and I wasn’t talking Biblically here, came whining over how I’d treated them.
Why?
Why did he do all that?
Why did he watch over me?
Why did he make me feel safe?
I knew that question was for me and not him, but still, it ricocheted around my head, until I had no choice but to whisper, “We’re going to be late.”
“They’ll wait.” His tone told me they’d wait forever if he said so.
And maybe forever wouldn’t be enough. Not for the promise that had surged into being in his eyes, a promise that fucked with my head and my body and, worst of all, my heart.
I blinked at him. “No, Nyx.” But I wanted to say yes. I really did. There was something about him, something that invited me to be bad.
To be me.
And that was terrifying.
God, it was so scary that it shook me to my core.
I’d shown him my worst side. Everything about me had been rebellious, rude, and mean since I’d arrived, and why?
Because that first night, he’d pissed me off.
I’d tried to be kind, tried to make a good impression. But every attempt had been brushed off as he walked me and my brothers over to this very bunkhouse.
The next day, one of the brothers had tried to come on to me, and another had thought I was their slave because I was hired to make them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And when the clubwhores had ganged up on me?
That was when shit had changed for real.
I’d become the bitch I’d been known for in high school, and ever since, I’d been drowning in the old me.
The one who my brothers couldn’t stand—which was probably why I barely saw them. The one who’d had to protect myself from my stepdad... that was the Giulia standing here today. Not the one who’d freed herself from that toxic household, who’d started community college back in Utah, who’d wanted to become something, do something more than her mother had done. I loved her, but I knew Lizzie Fontaine’s flaws. She needed a man, and me? I needed not to need a man.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he inquired, and there was something in his voice that made me feel even safer.
What the fuck was it with him?
In the face of this shitty existential crisis, my eyes burned with the need to shed the tears gathering there, but I didn’t let them fall, because I knew he’d misinterpret them. Knew he’d think I was scared of him, and somehow, more than anything, I knew the idea of me being scared of him would kill him.
Kill him dead.
And so, I gulped, and whispered, “Why aren’t I scared of you?”
He jerked back at that, his head bouncing off the shitty avocado tile behind him. “Huh?”
“You heard me,” I replied, my voice becoming stronger now that I saw his confusion. “You heard me,” I repeated, when a muscle in his jaw flickered. “I’m not scared of you. Everyone else is, but I’m not.
“You’d never hurt me. I know you wouldn’t, but I know you’re the worst thing for me, because even though you want me, and yeah, I can see that, you want this me. This horrible, shitty Giulia who doesn’t deserve—”
“A blind man would know I want you, Giulia,” he rasped. “Doesn’t take much.”
I dismissed that, because I knew he was backpedaling. My telling him I wasn’t scared of him was like another guy’s equivalent of backtracking when a woman told him she loved him.
I got that.
I understood it.
It made sense to me, and what that said about my mental health, I wasn’t sure.
“You’ll hurt me down the line. Bikers aren’t capable of love. Not really. They love the road, the club, and their bikes more than they can love pussy.”<
br />
He blinked, but seemed to be aware that I was talking to myself more than him.
“You’ll break me, wreck me, and yet, you want the real me. The true Giulia. How can that be bad? How can it be wrong?” I gnawed on my lip a second. “This is me,” I whispered rawly. “I’m a cunt. I have an attitude. I’m not nice.”
“Neither am I.” He ran a hand through his hair, making the ragged mess even more tousled. “I’m a monster.”
I knew, when he said that, he meant it.
He wasn’t talking shit, wasn’t just saying it to impress me. He was one hundred percent being honest.
Were we trying to convince each other we were wrong for one another?
Or just that… fuck. If he could take me at my worst, what would he think when he saw me at my best?
“I’m not a monster, but I’m not nice.” I held out a hand. “Can I have the towel?” I let the curtain drop, because he’d seen all the flaws in my fucking soul, so how could him seeing my imperfect body be worse?
I wasn’t like the clubwhores. Not being pneumatic with help from a surgeon’s knife had never stopped guys from wanting me, but I had jiggly bits, and my ass wasn’t perfect, my knees were a bit dimply, and my arms were too thick. But I stood there. Flaws and all, and waited for him to give me the towel.
He stared at me. His eyes on mine, until slowly, they drifted down my length.
It was warm out, so there was no reason for the shiver that rushed down my spine as I let him take a full look at my body.
“Some parts of you are nice,” he noted thickly, his eyes on my tits.
“Thanks,” I said dryly, making grabby hands with my fingers for the towel. “There’s a draft,” I complained.
When he stepped forward, he looked so dark in contrast to me. I wasn’t pale. My skin was olive, thanks to my Italian heritage, and my hair was just that side of black on the chestnut scale. I was golden, I guess, nothing about me white. But in contrast to him? I felt like an angel being approached by a demon.
And maybe I was.
The worst I’d done in my life was get a few parking tickets, and hell, maybe some jaywalking shit on my record. Nyx? Even his name meant night. But shit, I bet jaywalking was the least of his worries.
Fuck, everything about this was bad, and yet...
Nyx: A Dark & Dirty MC Romance (Satan’s Sinners MC Book 1) Page 13