She felt empty. She felt full.
She felt hot. She felt cold.
She felt a thousand different, competing things and didn’t have control over a single one of them. Only Fen had control now, only he could give her what she needed. Every touch brought her a closer to where she wanted to be. A little bit more, she thought, just a little bit. Yes, lips so soft, teeth so hard, tugging and biting, tension and release, notching the response inside of her ever higher, coiling tighter and tighter. When his finger sank into her, his thumb stroking her in a velvety, circular motion that made her rock her hips and whimper, she broke apart, flying, faster and faster. The tightness inside of her ratcheting down into a small, tiny ball before exploding outwards, the wave of it reverberating through her over and over, her hips grinding urgently against his hand, her mouth driving against his mouth, as she moaned out his name like a prayer.
Everything inside her was charged with electricity, even though her body felt boneless. Fen ran his palms up the insides of her thighs, spreading her wider, teasing her again with those clever fingers, the ache rising to a dizzying level.
“Please Fen, please.” Celine urged him closer, needing his weight on her, desperate to feel him inside of her.
Fen pressed a tender kiss to the base of her throat, every breath hot and erotic against her skin. “I’ll be gentle, but it might hurt.”
She might have whispered something back while pulling him closer, rocking against him, and Fen reared up over her then she felt him, hard and wonderfully large, push inside of her. He filled her, inch by glorious inch, and when he was seated fully, he slid a hand behind her rear, lifting her up to him.
She was wonderfully full of a scorching heat, her hips moving as if by themselves, meeting every one of Fen’s thrusts with a demanding answer of her own, urging him deeper, harder, faster. This felt good. This felt right. After a life spent alone, Celine thought this was what belonging felt like.
Fen lowered his head, the tempo increasing, drove into her again and again while she met every thrust of his hips, his expression rapturous. Her name burst roughly out of his mouth when he shuddered, when both of them froze together, their bodies going rigid, and as Fen threw his head back and roared above her, Celine thought she’d never seen such a beautiful creature.
Hours later, watching him across her battered kitchen table, Celine shivered, her body feeling uncharacteristically loose, delicious. Fen had told her everything. A brief, stark overview of why the gods were here, why they’d been banished to Earth. Loki’s unintentional betrayal. Hel’s unholy pact to allow the dark god entrance into their realm. Ava’s dark, unnatural power. Morgane setting the whole chain of events in motion.
Celine popped a crab ragoon into her mouth. “So. Let’s say I accept everything you’re telling me as truth, and this dark god of chaos, Orobus, is the one who’s haunting my dreams. What’s our next step? How do I keep him out of my head?”
“Mir’s working on it.”
“Well, good. He’ll figure out something, right?” Of course, a being that predates everything, including life itself, wasn’t the best sort of opponent to have. Not when you’re still working on your master’s degree. “I started doing tons of research once the dreams started. I had all these crazy writings, which even I couldn’t translate. So I started looking stuff up. Norse mythology”—she slanted him a mischievous smile—“Irish Mythological Cycle, Ulster Cycle, Pictish stones, stuff like that. I’m not as far behind as you’d think.”
“This dark god exists somewhere outside of what you think of as reality. According to our theory of creation, he was one of the primordial forces, predating life itself.”
“Like our God?”
“No, he was the chaos that was locked away by the first of our gods. So that life itself could form.” Fen sat forward in his chair. “In our lexicon of faith, there were three gods. We call them the Three, the first of whom separated the dark from the light, in order for life to form. Orobus is that darkness. What I don’t understand is how something that started out as dark matter became sentient.”
“So we’d basically need Albert Einstein here to explain this to us?”
“No, just Mir. But he’s back at the Tower.”
“Great, let’s go.”
“Can’t. You’re not allowed.”
Celine angled her head, miffed. “So the person who’s got this sentient asshole stuck in her head and is basically taking shorthand for him can’t go to the boy’s club because, what, she’s a girl?”
“No, because she’s mortal.” Well, that brought her up short. “You are not supposed to know anything about us. I will be punished for telling you what I have. For sleeping with you, for helping you. For that matter, so will Mir.”
Celine chewed this over. “So you guys helped me, knowing that Odin was going to kick your asses?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” He pulled her into him. Kissed her long and hard. “But it will be so worth it.”
“And according to some Irish Fae legend, Mir believes I might be part of what’s going on. And even then, I can’t help? I’d like to hear about this legend, see if there’s a clue in there Mir missed. You never know, he might have. There’s got to be something you’re missing here. Something…” Her foot was tapping almost as fast as her brain was computing. Fenrir fought the urge to tumble her back into bed. When her foot stopped tapping, Fen might as well have seen the lightbulb go off over her head.
“Use me. Use me as a means to get us back inside. You said Ava doesn’t have the dark power inside her anymore, she gave it back, right? Which means you guys lost your secret weapon. If Mir puts me to sleep, that gives you access. When the dark god Orobus thingie comes to implant the new instructions in my head, you guys will know where he’s going to be. Then you can stop him.”
Fen looked thunderous. “Mir can’t just send you in there alone. Odin may very well kill you if he discovers what we’re doing. And you are insane if you think I’m doing anything that might endanger you, especially sending you in after a dark god.”
She snorted. “Oh, I think I can handle Odin. Do you have any idea how good of a liar I am? I’ve had to lie my entire life, Fen. Social workers, teachers, well-meaning neighbors. ‘Yes, I have enough to eat, yes I have a place to live. Yes, I feel safe in my home. Yes, I am happy and fine. Yes, my mother is just at work, not passed out in the back room covered in vomit with some dude I’ve never seen before.’”
She shook her head wryly. “I’ve lived on the streets, Fen. I’ve stolen food to survive. I know how to do this shit.” Catching the look of pity on his face, Celine wiped the ugly out of her mind and focused on the beautiful man in front of her. The one she wasn’t going to lose. “I’m tougher than I look. Face it, I’m the perfect weapon, Fen, I’m the only one with access. I’m smart and I’m resourceful. Plus, I’ll do anything to get this to work because I want this thing out of my head.” She hugged him tightly and stepped back. “Take me to Mir, let’s figure out how to beat this guy.”
“We are not going back there. It’s dangerous, Celine. You have no idea…”
“You’ll see, I can convince Odin.” If the All Father had half the God complex she imagined he had, he’d jump on the chance to keep this dark god out of his territory. She’d just have to figure out which buttons to push.
Taking Fen’s hand, she tugged him toward the bedroom. “But first…I need more of you, Fen.” If they were going to go through with this, she was going to hoard a little more time with him.
Time doing what she wanted, for once.
Chapter 16
Whatever garden club decorated downtown Chicago, there were bulbs sprouting from every container along Michigan, a paltry attempt at infusing life into the concrete, since the tender green shoots were barely a smudge of color against the dark gray. Ducking into the wind, Celine wondered where they were heading but hadn’t asked. Not that it mattered, really. They’d end up where they ended up, her backpack slung over Fen’s hi
gh shoulder, and her practically running down the sidewalk to keep up with his long, loping steps.
Part of her hoped she’d be able to finish her classes in the next two months, part of her didn’t hardly see the point. Chaos and order, she supposed, fighting it out. Well, one of them would certainly win. “How much further, Fen?” Her coat wasn’t nearly heavy enough, and she felt far too exposed out here after spending the last few days in a cocoon of her own making.
“Just about a block, babe. When we get there, you need to stick close. I already texted Mir. He knows we’re coming. But I’m not going to lie, there’s going to be some backlash over me bringing you inside.” His huge hand squeezed tightly around hers. “These guys are not used to strangers. So no matter what happens, stay close to me.”
Celine nodded thoughtfully. She understood distrust all too well. Protecting yourself against those who didn’t understand, who wanted to change what you were into something they wanted you to be was sometimes all that kept you alive. “You know Fen, maybe I understand you guys more than you realize,” she murmured, more to herself than to him.
But there was a growing feeling in the pit of her stomach nonetheless, as she wondered if Odin was anywhere as big and bad as Fen. Probably bigger and badder, she thought, him being the king and all. The next time she shivered, it wasn’t only because of the cold, and she hustled even faster alongside Fen.
When they turned down Monroe and Fen shouldered his way through a small, nondescript doorway into the north side of the Phoenix Club, she stared in awe at the gothic monolith. A dwarf now, but in its heyday, it must have been something. “Oh my gosh. I love this building, is this really where you live?” The earthy smell of the building hit her the second Fen pulled her through the door. Wood smoke mixed with an undercurrent of stone. The smell of power, Celine realized, her gaze drifting over to Fen.
“Stick close, don’t say anything. Let Mir and me do all the talking. Stay right by my side, no matter what happens, and everything will be fine.” Somehow those words reminded Celine of what always came out of her mother’s mouth right before things invariably went south.
They took an elegant, mahogany-paneled elevator up, and when they stopped, Fen’s eyes squeezed shut before the doors slid open. As if he was praying for strength. When he opened them, they’d gone black as obsidian, instead of their usual warm blue, and when he opened his mouth, his teeth seemed to have grown longer, sharper, more dangerous. But Celine firmed her grip on his hand, and they stepped through together. Mir was waiting down the hall for them, arms folded with a grim look on his face. “This way. He wants you in there first, Fenrir. The girl waits outside.”
“Not acceptable. Both of us together. I’m not leaving her alone. Not even with you.”
“That’s not going to happen.” Mir’s chin rose, his body stance settled into something resembling a brick wall. She tightened her hold on Fen’s hand.
“Together or not at all. We go back and he can fucking figure this mess out on his own. Celine’s here as a courtesy. Nothing more. I’m not leaving her out here by herself.”
“What do I look like? A fucking doorman? I have my orders, Fen.” Mir was chest to chest with the wolf, and even though Fenrir stood a good four inches taller, Mir had fifty pounds on him. It would be ugly.
Celine watched them stare each other down for a moment before finally stepping between them. “Enough. We won’t split up, Mir. Both of us or neither of us. You don’t even have to say anything, just stand aside. This way, you’ll be out of it. Odin can do with us what he wants, but Fen and me? We are doing this together.” She sent Mir a soft smile. “Not your fault, anyways. This is turning into a mess no matter how you look at it, so let’s just get this over with, shall we?”
Their footsteps echoed hollowly as they approached the grand double doors, all twenty feet of them. She wasn’t prepared for the Great Hall. “Too perfect. This is all too perfect.” Everything was constructed of white shiny marble, the very purest white, she thought, that she’d ever seen. The columns so big, she’d never get her arms around them. The ceiling so high, she couldn’t see the very top. The floor beneath her tennis shoes was unbroken by blemishes, stains, veins, any kind of imperfection. It was, simply put, flawless. An impeccable setting for an immortal god. Odin reclined, redolent and serene on a throne, silvery white and splendid and exactly how she imagined such an otherworldly being to look.
Poised to either kill them or bless them, based on his current mood and disposition.
“Bringing the mortal was a mistake, wolf. You were ordered to come alone.” The expression on Odin’s face didn’t change, nor did he move so much as a single muscle, but she felt the pit in her stomach expand, until she thought it might engulf her.
Fenrir stepped in front of her before answering. “My king, there are developments you must be made aware of, information only the girl can tell you.” The look on Odin’s face said, Tell me what I must know one more time, and I’ll send your ass to the darklands forever.
Odin’s voice had the lazy cadence of a killer but still he answered. “And what are these things I must be made aware of? Please…enlighten me, wolf.”
“Something has been feeding her visions. Forcing her to record them. Mir believes they are a spell to allow the dark god…Orobus to enter our realm.”
Celine glimpsed something flash in Odin’s eyes before he could mask it, right before that silver-clear gaze locked on hers. The world seemed to expand, encompassing her, until she was a mere speck, while he loomed above her until she all but disappeared. She swore she was fading away, until the firm pressure of Fen’s hand on her arm brought her back, and then she was standing in the hall again, looking up at Odin.
“So you say. Do you have any proof? Or just the ramblings of a madwoman?” Despite the small, cruel smile twisting his mouth, Odin seemed to reevaluate her, his gaze measuring. Celine stared right back, emotions churning through her. Fear, panic, dread. Panic because he made her feel so small. Fear of what he might do to Fen. Dread because she felt powerless. But. She’d been through so much already. So many dark, twisted things that somehow, even this immortal god lost a bit of his menace. She lifted her chin and met his eyes, flashing a hint of defiance and courage back at him.
Letting him contemplate what he’d just glimpsed in her face, she proposed, her voice as calm as she could keep it, “We’re only here to help you. I’m here to help. We have the beginnings of a plan to trap this…creature, if you want to take the time to hear it. If you don’t, fine, but we really don’t have time to waste playing games.”
She thought Chicago weather was cold, but it didn’t prepare her for the blast that hit her. Even with Fen bracing her, some unseen, powerful force knocked them both back a step or two, but she didn’t go down. She took the blow and when it ended, she stepped forward, trolled thorough those dark waters inside of her again and lifted her face back up to Odin’s. This time, she was pissed off.
“Christ, Celine, stop it.” Fen hissed, pulling her back against him, but it was too late. The anger, the rage at what was happening to her bubbled up while she faced Odin. For a few seconds, their gazes locked together, she didn’t break the stare, not for the time she held that ice-cold gaze. But he must have sensed something, and leaned forward, studying her, his visage no longer serene.
Celine pulled her arm out of Fen’s hand and stepped toward the throne, until her toes almost touched the bottom step. “So. Are you willing to work with us?”
Odin, hands hanging between his knees, looked over her head to Fen, every word a challenge. “Meet me in the War Room. Tyr, Loki, and Mir are already there. Bring the…girl.”
And with that, Fen pulled her away from the throne, her feet skittering across the smooth marble floors. He kept his hand wrapped tight around her arm, until they were through the doors and out in the hall.
Whirling, he let her go so quickly she stumbled away, almost going to her knees. Oh gods, she thought, Fen’s eyes, they were black,
so black, almost completely…
“I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut? I thought I told you to let me handle it?” A huge, ragged breath shuddered out of him. “Goddamn it, how hard can it be, to just fucking listen to me?” She stared up at him in shock. He’d never spoken like that. She certainly never thought he’d talk to her like that.
“He made me feel small. And he pissed me off. I just…” Something was beginning to rise inside of her again, something unhinged and dangerous.
“What part of my warning did you not understand? Or are you simply too stubborn to listen to reason?” Fen was practically shaking. Come to think of it, so was she. What the hell was his problem anyway? She’d stood up for herself, and she’d worked everything out. Turning, she stomped away before she said something she’d regret. He grabbed her arm and swung her around.
“The War Room is this way, Celine.”
“Fine,” she snapped and stomped off in the new, correct direction. “You know, you really should thank me. The two of you would have wasted tons of time arguing. I cut through all the bullshit.”
From behind her, Fen spoke. “The two of us would have argued, sure.” Something about his voice made her turn. His words came out strained, pain cracking though them. “But I can handle him. Odin can hurt you in ways there’d be no coming back from. He will hurt you, Celine, and I won’t be able to stop him. And if he touched you…it would kill me.” His eyes turned pleading, and he stepped forward, reached out for her, drew her in, holding her so tight she realized he was scared. “And what the hell were you doing in there? Having a staring contest with him? What was going on between the two of you?”
She paused. It hadn’t been anything. It had only been a feeling, really. It hadn’t been an actual thing. “It was nothing, I was just pissed off.” She pulled out of his hold but held onto his forearms while she reassured him, “You don’t have to worry about me, Fen, believe it or not, I can take care of myself.”
The Banished Gods Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 35