Hannah's cheeks flushed, and she met his gaze. His heart seemed to stutter when he saw the longing on her face. Heat rushed through him, and he knew what she was going to say before she said it.
"Kiss me, Maddox. Kiss me, now."
Emotions plunged though him, intense longing, need, heat, desire...everything that he'd shut down for so long. His fingers tightened on her jaw, and he bent his head until his lips were no more than a whisper from hers. "If I kiss you," he said softly, "I'm not going to stop. I need you too much."
Hannah slid her hands into his hair. "Kiss me, Maddox," she said again. "Kiss me with all you have."
He had no chance to resist. No chance at all. The only path he could take was the only one that would keep him alive.
He kissed her.
The moment Hannah felt Maddox's lips on hers, everything inside her came roaring to life. All the darkness, all her protective shields, everything that she had locked down inside her for so long suddenly exploded into a cacophony of color, energy, and light.
Desperate for more, for him, for what he made her feel, she surrendered completely to him. Need filled her, the most beautiful, most alive, most glorious need for this amazing man who had taken such care of her and her daughter. She reached for him, drawing him more tightly to her, and kissed him back. She'd never considered herself passionate, but apparently, she'd just been waiting for the right man, the right moment, the right emotions.
She kissed him back, greedy for the taste of his mouth on hers, for the way he made her feel, the way he unleashed the deepest part of her that was so powerful, and so vivid, and so vibrant. She wanted more of what he awakened inside her.
Maddox, with his kisses, his honesty, and his caring, made her feel bold. He made her feel alive. He made her feel safe enough to forget to tread carefully. He liberated her to live so fully in the moment that she felt as though she would never be contained again. Joyfully, she flung her arms around his neck and dragged him down to her, basking in feelings and freedom that were unlike anything she had ever experienced before.
Maddox growled low in his throat and his arms locked around her waist, dragging her against him as if he too had unlocked the door to something he had no control over. His kisses were so tender, and yet filled with passion and vitality at the same time.
Hannah knew that he perceived himself as dark and dangerous, but everything pouring out of him into her since the day they had met contradicted that perception. He was made of kindness, warmth, love, support, and understanding. His nature as a protector was evident. She loved his protective instincts, and, at the same time, was completely overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of what it felt like to be surrounded by so much strength and safety.
She needed more of him. More of his kiss, of connection with him, both physical and emotional. Restlessly, barely aware of what she was doing, she slid her hands under his shirt. The moment she spread her hands over his bare stomach, palming his torso, a sense of absolute rightness filled her. She needed to be close to him, to touch, to feel him against her.
Then he slid his hands under her shirt, spanning her lower back, and she forgot about everything but the feel of his hands on her skin. Pure gentleness. Heart-melting tenderness. And beautiful strength.
There was something so incredible about the feel of his strong hands palming her waist. He encircled her with his arms, his muscles flexing against her, even while he deepened his kiss, his tongue going deeper and deeper, drawing her out of her cocoon and into the light of radiant colors and brightness.
Suddenly desperate for more, she pulled her sweatshirt and sports bra off over her head, unable to stop herself, unable to walk away from the need he was stoking inside her. Somehow, despite a lifetime of not trusting men, she felt safe with him, gloriously, wonderfully safe, so safe that she surrendered to all she was feeling, not trying to hide from it or shut it down. She embraced her desires to open herself to the strength he was giving her, to surrender to the passion and need spinning through her like a whirlwind of fire.
With a low groan, Maddox locked his arm around her lower back and bent his head, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking. Hannah gasped and clutched at his shoulders, her body shaking as he grazed his teeth across her nipple. Vibrant sparks of passion and desire shot through her like fireworks, breaking through barriers that would no longer be contained.
She found herself dragging his shirt free of his jeans, and when he raised his arms to let her pull it over his head, she did so without reservation, desperate for more skin and more connection. The moment they were both naked from the waist up, he pulled her back on the couch, bracing himself over her as he showered her with kisses along her neck, on her sternum, and over her breasts.
Hannah had never felt like this before, so safe, so free to tap into the strength and desire within her, to listen to the fire burning within her. Maddox sank between her hips, his pelvis against hers. It was a position of pure domination by him, a position that gave him complete control of her...but she felt no fear. Just an amazing sense of safety, of glorious delight in putting herself in a vulnerable position with him, knowing that she was completely safe and protected.
She locked her feet behind his back, pulling him more tightly against her. She could feel his erection pressing against the juncture of her thighs. The sensation was erotic and powerful, and she loved knowing that he was hard because of her, because of her kisses, because he wanted her.
The knowledge that she was affecting him as much as he was affecting her ignited the desire already pulsing through her, increasing her level of need exponentially.
She wanted to be naked with him. She wanted him to make love to her. She wanted to lose herself in all that he was, and somehow find a way for them both to escape from the darkness, and together, somehow find their way to sunshine, sunshine so bright that it would dissolve the shadows. She gripped his shoulders, pulling back to look at him. "Make love to me," she whispered. "I need you. I need this. I need how you make me feel."
She saw the look of surprise and awe on his face, and her heart softened at his inability to believe that she could see such beauty in him, that she could trust him, despite the stories he'd told about his past. She knew then that Maddox was the man her heart had been waiting for. He was the man meant to show her what it was like to live again. He was the man to show her that not all men should be feared. He was the man to teach her that some men used their strength in the most beautiful of ways when it came to women.
Despite her need for him, she could see the resistance on his face, his need to protect her from the monster he perceived himself to be. She knew he was too honorable to ever cross that line, so she didn't give him a chance to stop. She just went for the waistband of his jeans, sliding her fingers around the button, and unfastening it, her fingers moving with astonishing dexterity given how badly her body was trembling with need for him.
The moment she slipped her hands beneath the front of his boxers and wrapped her fingers around the steely hardness of his cock, she knew she'd won the battle. Maddox whispered her name, a heart wrenching, guttural cry of need, desperation, and complete surrender. He rolled off her, staggering to his feet as he yanked his jeans off. She was still trying to unfasten her own pants when he was back, helping her unfasten her jeans and pulling them over her feet. It took only moments before he was back on top of her, his hips settling between hers...but this time, there was no fabric between them, a glorious sensation of skin against skin.
She felt the tip of his cock pressed against her entrance, nudging gently, asking, inquiring, probing, but not taking or demanding. He was going to make her take the initiative and be in control, which was both scary and exhilarating.
She locked her feet behind his butt, lifted her hips to him, and dragged his head down for a kiss, a deep kiss into which she poured every emotion that was dancing within. Glorious need, breathtaking desire, liberating safety, and the deepest soul-to-soul connection.
With a
low groan, her name entwined in a gasp of desire, he capitulated to her demands and slid inside her, a beautiful, incredible sensation made her heart fill with more hope, more love, and more freedom than she'd experienced in her whole life.
"God, Hannah," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear in an intimate confession. "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my life. I didn't know this kind of perfection existed." He framed her face with his hands, staring down at her with the most incredible, unguarded look of awe, tenderness, and love.
Seeing that expression on his face, directed at her, made something inside her open completely to him, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. His face softened in recognition, and he smiled.
She smiled back, her heart filling with joy at the sight of his dimples. "God, you're beautiful," she whispered.
"Nothing compared to you, Hannah." With the guttural moan of deep, pure desire, he plunged deep inside her, catching her cries with deep kisses designed to safeguard her most hidden desires. He thrust again, and she gasped as he moved again and again, stirring her into a passionate frenzy that obliterated everything but him. His thrusts became deeper and faster, as he switched position and angles, working her into a state of trembling need until she was at the peak of desire.
As he moved, Maddox kept whispering her name over and over and over again, saying it with so much emotional intensity, and reverence, and nurturing, that her final shields fell, and she gave herself completely to him. The moment she surrendered to him, an orgasm exploded over her, starting deep inside her belly and spreading like rushing water mixed with fireworks through her belly, down her legs, to her heart, and along her spine.
She gasped, clinging to him, her only foundation. Maddox shouted her name, and then, with one final thrust, he poured himself into her, surrendering to his orgasm. It shot through him, his body shaking as he held himself over her, his gaze locked on hers as ecstasy overtook him. His muscles trembled violently, as if his orgasm was going to tear him apart just as hers was. They clung to each other, gloriously trapped by the grip of the orgasms, before they were sent over the precipice with the last final gasp. He collapsed against her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his breath rasping in his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, while their bodies shook with the intensity of what had just happened between them.
She knew in that moment, she would never, ever, be the same.
Chapter 16
He would never forget this night.
Maddox pulled the blanket more securely around Hannah, being careful not to wake her. She was using his chest as a pillow, her hands tucked up under his chin, her legs tangled with his. They'd gotten dressed after making love, as a precaution against Ava walking in, but when he'd walked her to her bedroom, somehow, he'd ended up following her onto the bed after a kiss good night that neither of them could stop...
And now it was almost two in the morning, Hannah was sound asleep, wrapped around him, and Maddox was lying there, listening to the silence of the night, and the steady rhythm of her breathing.
He hadn't slept in the same room as another person since he'd moved out of his dad's house and stopped living with his brothers. He needed his space, the space he'd never gotten as a kid, until now, until this moment, until Hannah.
Maddox closed his eyes, breathing in the subtle scent of flowers that seemed to cling to Hannah all the time. He turned his head slightly, so that his cheek was resting against her head, strands of hair tickling his cheek.
Sex had never meant anything to him. It had been a way to...he didn't even know. A way to hide from the darkness haunting him?
Tonight, everything had changed. Tonight, he'd made love to the woman who had awoken his heart for the first time in a very, very long time, maybe ever.
But sometime during the evening, the wind had stopped blowing. The storm had moved on. By morning, Chase and the others would plow them out, and there would be no reason for Maddox to stay, and every reason for him to leave.
How in God's name would he ever make himself walk away tomorrow? But he had to. He knew he did. But—
He suddenly heard the sound of tiny feet padding in the hallway, and he froze, swearing under his breath as he listened to Ava pause outside the door. What the hell had he been thinking, sleeping in Hannah's bed when Ava was around? What kind of message did that send to her?
The door opened and Maddox went very still, allowing the shadows to swallow him as Ava pushed the door open and peered inside. She was wearing her girl power superhero nightgown, and she was holding Alfred tightly in her arms.
He watched as Ava padded over to Hannah's side of the bed. She patted Hannah's arm, but her mom didn't move. Maddox knew Hannah was exhausted from the lovemaking, which had stripped her of what little energy she'd begun to regain after being sick. Ava tapped Hannah again, and he saw the glisten of tears on her cheeks.
Maddox swore under his breath, barely able to contain the instinct to reach out to the little girl, as he'd done so many times over the last two days when Hannah had been so sick.
Ava bit her lip, and looked up, her eyes meeting Maddox's. Instantly, her little face morphed into a smile, and she held up her arms.
Maddox's heart softened, and he leaned over Hannah, and picked up Ava. To his surprise, the moment she was on the bed, Ava burrowed against Maddox's side, tucking herself between the two adults.
Maddox stretched out on his back, one arm still around Hannah, and the other one around Ava, as she squirreled down between him and Hannah, moving incessantly until she found her spot, which resulted in her face pressed against the crook of Maddox's neck, breathing heavily on him.
After a long moment, he felt her fingers tracing his beard, tapping gently.
He laughed softly. "Are you scared, baby?"
He felt her nod against his neck, and he tightened his arm around her. He hated that she was afraid, that she and Hannah had to live in fear. He wanted to free them from the grips of fear. He knew what it was like growing up scared, and it sucked. "Do you want a story?"
She nodded again, and wiggled closer to him, still tapping his chin. She held up Alfred, and he smiled. "A story about Alfred?"
She nodded for a third time, and then snuggled contentedly down beside him with a deep sigh.
Maddox sighed, trying to think of a story that might help her, one that might chase away the fears. "Did you know Alfred used to be afraid of the dark?"
Ava shook her head, and propped herself up so she could see his face. It was dark, but the light from the hall gave him enough light to see her face watching him so carefully.
Maddox paused, trying to think of a place to start. "When Alfred was a puppy, he lived on a street where a big, mean dog lived. Alfred was scared of the dog, because he thought it might hurt him."
Ava's eyes widened, and she sat up, clutching Alfred to her chest. For a moment, Maddox hesitated, unsure whether to continue. Then he saw Hannah roll over and face him. Her eyes were on him, and she nodded slightly, encouraging him.
Shit. He had no idea what the hell he was doing. He had no experience trying to make up stories that would make a traumatized four-year-old feel better. He raised his eyebrows at Hannah, asking for her to finish the story, but before she could say anything Ava tapped his chin again, drawing his attention back to her. She held up her hands, palm out, in an entreaty for him to continue.
He realized then that it wasn't just a story she needed. She needed a story from him, because for some reason, she trusted him. Damn. It had to be him.
Resigning himself, Maddox sat up with a groan, leaned against the headboard, and held out his arms. Ava scrambled onto his lap, tucked her feet between his thighs, and leaned her head against his chest. Maddox wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin on her head, watching Hannah, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth while she listened to them. "Did Alfred have trouble sleeping at night?" Hannah asked.
Maddox nodded. "
Yep. At night, he would hear the big dog barking, and Alfred would lie in bed listening, being a little bit scared." He paused. This wasn't a good story. Now he was creating new things for Ava to be afraid of. By the time he finished the story, she would probably be afraid of dogs, too.
He had no idea how to help a kid. He raised his eyebrows at Hannah, again asking for her help, but she just smiled at him and patted his knee, as if he would be fine with a little reassuring pat.
The next time he and Hannah were alone, he was going to have to point out to her that he was not a puppy dog, but a bumbling, idiot male who had no idea how to help a little girl. But for the moment, since she was intentionally ignoring his pleas for help, it was up to him to figure out how to make this better. He'd grown up scared, but at some point, he'd stopped being afraid. He thought for a minute, trying to think of what happened in his life when he had stopped being afraid, when he had begun to sleep at night and stop listening for his dad's footsteps in the hall.
It was when he had become strong, when he'd started believing he was strong. And that had happened when his youngest brother Travis had moved into the house, at which point Maddox and his brothers had realized that there was someone weaker and smaller than them that needed their protection. Keeping Travis safe had forced Maddox to find his strength.
Galvanized by the idea, he thought fast. "One day, Alfred's owner, who was named Susie, brought home a tiny kitten." He lightly rubbed Ava's back as he spoke. "Have you ever seen a tiny kitten? Do you know how little they are?"
Ava lifted her head to look at him, and she shook her head.
Maddox took her hands and cupped them together, making a little basket of her tiny hands. "A baby kitten would fit right here." He tapped the bottom of the basket. "It would fit right in your hands. Much smaller than Alfred."
Ava stared at her hands for a moment, then she looked back at him and nodded.
"The kitten was so little that it could barely walk without tripping on her own feet. Susie loved her so much, and named her…" What name would a four-year-old girl respond to? "Fluffy. Susie named the kitty Fluffy." He glanced at Hannah, and relaxed when he saw her smiling. Okay, so he got that part right. "When Susie went to school that day, she asked Alfred to take care of Fluffy and make sure she was safe. Alfred, of course, agreed to watch Fluffy, because he loved Susie, and because Fluffy was really, really cute. She was also really, really little, and Alfred could see that she definitely needed someone to watch out for her. Plus, how hard could it be to watch a little kitten, right?"
A Real Cowboy Loves Forever (Wyoming Rebels Book 5) Page 12