His face was somber, and his eyes held no trace of their usual amusement. “I haven’t been entirely honest,” he said. “I want to change that now.”
“I’m listening.”
He took her hand, led her to the couch, and sat down beside her. She pulled her knees up, hugged them, protecting herself from whatever was about to come.
“Today, when you took my picture … I lied when I said it was okay for you to take it. The truth is, I was avoiding it.”
Her heart deflated slowly. “Why?”
“I’ve already told you that I had a checkered past, Carny. Just like you.”
“But if you’re not a criminal, what does it matter?”
He sighed and looked down at his hands. They were shaking. “I have been a criminal. I spent years in prison for my crimes.”
Every muscle in her body grew rigid. For a moment, horror overcame her, the horror of knowing she had been right, but that she had fallen for him anyway. She got up and went across the room, as far away from him as she could get without walking out entirely. “I … I was right about you? About … being a con artist? You really were out to fleece my town?”
“Not anymore, Carny,” he said quickly. “The banks and Eric Hart and all the numbers are real. I’ve worked myself half to death trying to work it all out, once I decided to make it right. But I can’t lie to you anymore.”
She leaned against the wall, her face still twisted, and shook her head. “Why not, Brisco? Why can’t you lie to me?”
It was almost a plea that he take back his confession, allow her to slip back into the naiveté of his lies. To let her feel good just a little while longer.
She hated herself for it.
“Carny, where were you the day you realized you couldn’t live the kind of life your parents did anymore? Do you remember?”
She didn’t want to stroll down memory lane. She wanted to lash out, scream at him, curl up in her bed and cry.
“Please, Carny. I need for you to think about that. Where were you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know … I was … in some little town in Louisiana. We were driving all night, because they’d almost been caught at something. I don’t even remember what.”
“And you knew, didn’t you, that at some point, you had to jump off the mad merry-go-round you’d been born onto?”
She hugged herself as her eyes glazed over with the memory. “I’d never felt so lonely in my life. Or so scared. Not of getting caught with my parents and going to jail … but of trying to stop the cycle. Of escaping it, somehow, when it was all I’d ever known. And then our carnival wound up in Serenity, and I went into a little church, and everything changed …”
“I’ve been scared, too, Carny,” he said, his luminous blue eyes glistening in the lamplight. “And the closer I’ve gotten to you, the more terrified I’ve been. But I will do what I’ve promised. Tonight, God spoke to me. Not with words, but with this knowing in my soul.”
Slowly, his words penetrated, and she let the fragile edges of hope work their way back into her heart. She turned back to him, struck by the sincerity in his eyes.
“I was sitting in front of the church with Jack. There was this shooting star, and then the verse on the sign at the church. About living water. And it was from a passage about this woman who’d been married like four times before, and Jesus told her he could give her living water.”
“The woman at the well,” she whispered.
“Yes. She was as messed up as I am. Well, maybe not quite as bad, but she had a history, and lots of baggage. And Jesus wasn’t repulsed by her. He gave her something no one else could give her.”
She took a step toward him. “You read that?”
“Yes.” His mouth was shaking. “Back at the hotel. And I talked to God and told him how sorry I was. And I asked him to wash me like he washed you. And he did.”
Was this just another con? Had he found the buttons that meant something to her? The ones that could make her believe? Could it be real?
“As soon as I knew I was clean, I also knew I had to tell the truth.” He reached out for her, and she crossed the room and took his hand. “Sit down,” he said. “I need to tell you everything.”
She nodded and let him pull her down next to him. “Go ahead.”
“You were right. It started out to be just another scam.”
She closed her eyes and brought her hands to her face. “I knew it.”
“But now … since I’ve gotten to know the people in the town, I’ve been trying to make the park happen for real. If I do that, nobody gets hurt. And if I my make my lies into truth, then I haven’t committed a crime since prison.” He turned around, closing his hand into a fist. “I can see it happening, Carny, just like I said. But …”
Her lips tightened. “But what?”
“But it’s so much more terrifying, trying to pull off reality. Illusion is a lot easier.” He looked her in the eye. “I’m trying to turn my lies into truth, Carny, if that makes any sense. I’m trying as hard as I can.”
For the first time since she’d met him, she didn’t find a trace of doubt in her mind. “The King Enterprises story. That you resigned. Was that true, or was that made up?”
“I am King Enterprises. I have a business license, a telephone number. And as you’ve seen, a voicemail system. I made up the story about their pulling out, because I was trying to ease you into the truth.”
Ease her into it? She didn’t have to question that. She understood it perfectly.
“This may be why God led me to Serenity — so I could see what it would be like to have my slate washed clean, and to find someplace where I could actually belong. To be the person I’ve only pretended to be. Maybe it’s just another selfish motive … to want what I can get out of this town. But this time it’s not money.”
She took a deep breath and let his words sink in. “Selfish or not, wanting a second chance and cleansing … well, that’s honorable, Logan.” An unexpected peace fell over her, and despite what he’d told her, despite what she knew about him, despite what some part of her had always known, she felt closer to him than she’d ever felt to anyone in her life.
When she reached out to hold him, he sank down until his forehead was on her shoulder. For the first time since she’d known him, she didn’t doubt him. In her soul, she knew his story was true.
“If I go to the church tomorrow, and tell them who I really am … if I offer to give all their money back if they want me to … do you think there’s any chance that they could forgive me? That I could live here in Serenity, and actually belong? Or would the truth make that impossible?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. They’re not going to like knowing that you pulled the wool over their eyes.”
“But they accepted you, didn’t they?”
“Yes, but I didn’t hide who I was. They knew from the beginning that I was a carny. My name made that clear. I guess in some ways they saw me as a project, somebody they could mentor and help grow. I never lied to them.”
The air seemed to go out of him, and his eyes settled on some invisible spot in the air. “Then what would happen if I didn’t tell them? If I just went ahead with my plans, and they never knew that it had almost been a scam?”
She shook her head. “No, Logan. You have to come clean. It’s the right thing to do. The Bible says that we should have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but that we should expose them.”
“But if I lose the chance to settle here, then I lose everything. And I lose you.”
“You can’t do this for me. You have to do it for your relationship with God. You have to trust that even if I’m out of the picture, even if you have to leave Serenity, following God’s will is still the right path for you. Is it worth it to you?”
“Yes, it is.”
“I hope so, Logan. If that’s real, then I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here for you.”
He wiped his moist eyes. “I know it’s to
o soon, that you’re still trying to feel your way through this relationship, but in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I’ve fallen in love with you, Carny Sullivan.”
She touched his lips, quieting him. “You say that to all the girls, don’t you?”
“Honestly, I’ve never said it before. And that makes me want to change even more. You deserve an honorable man.”
He kissed her and she melted into him, her walls fading away and her fear vaporizing. When the kiss broke, she gazed into his eyes. “I’m falling for you too, Brisco.”
He grinned like he’d won the lottery. “I never thought I’d hear those words from you.” He brought his eyes back to her. “I’ll tell the people tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll go to church early and ask Brother Tommy if I can talk to them during the service. But I have to admit, I’m scared.”
She reached up and framed his face with her hands. “Don’t be, Logan. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.”
“Is that in the Bible too?” he asked.
“Yes. Philippians 1:6.”
“There’s a lot of cool stuff in there, isn’t there?”
She laughed softly. “Yep. You should read it all.”
“I intend to,” he said.
thirty-eight
Carny awoke early the next morning and spent an hour praying about Logan’s confession before the church. When Jason came in from his night of camping, she got him ready for Sunday school.
“Honey, I want to talk to you,” she said as he ate his cereal. “This morning, Logan is going to talk to the church. What he says will surprise you and a lot of others, and it might hurt.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“I’d rather let him tell it. But after church, we’ll talk about it, okay?”
Worry twisted Jason’s face. “He’s not gonna build the park?”
“It’s not that,” she said.
“Oh, good. You scared me for a minute.”
He finished and ran off to brush his teeth. As she rinsed out his bowl and put it in the dishwasher, Carny wondered if he’d even understand what Logan was going to tell the congregation. It would be an opportunity for explaining God’s goodness and his power of redemption. But the confession could be a blow and a disappointment to all those who believed in Logan.
As she walked into the church building a little while later, her heart raced with anticipation. She saw Brother Tommy coming toward her in the hallway, smiling and speaking to everyone he passed. “ ‘Morning, Carny,” he said.
“ ‘Morning,” she said, surprised that he hadn’t mentioned anything about Logan. “Brother Tommy? Logan Brisco was coming to talk to you today. Has he been here yet?”
“Nope, haven’t seen him,” he said.
Disappointed, she took Jason to his class. Logan was probably just running late. He would probably show up any minute. But an hour later, when Sunday School was over, there was still no sign of him.
As she waited for Jason outside his Sunday School class, Doc Carraway ambled by. “Hey Carny. I figured you’d be flying Logan.”
She frowned. “What do you mean? Flying him where?”
“Said he was going to Dallas when he checked out this morning.”
Her heart plummeted, and for a moment she couldn’t find her voice. “Checked out? What do you mean he checked out?”
“He said he was going to be gone several days and that when he comes back he’s getting an apartment, so there was no point in keeping the room.”
She reached for the wall to steady herself. “Why was he going to Dallas?”
“To meet with his investors.”
On Sunday? Without a word?
She put her hands to her face and tried to catch her breath, but the air seemed too thin and her lungs too tight. “Which ones?” she asked. “Which investors? The banks are closed on Sunday.”
“I’m just telling you what he said, Carny. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it.”
The door opened and the eight-year-olds burst out. She stared into space, letting the reality sink in, and tried to face what she knew to be true.
He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. Wouldn’t he? Wasn’t saying things without meaning them a way of life for him? What had made her think he’d meant any of what he’d said last night? I have to say that I’ve fallen in love with you, Carny Sullivan. And what had she said in response? I’m falling for you too, Brisco. He’d made her believe. That had been his final con in Serenity — getting into her heart. The challenge was over. He’d won.
And then, to top it all off, he’d made that big, intimate confession, feigned a real coming-to-Jesus experience. It was a final kick in the teeth, just to make sure that all the soft, sweet memories were turned into a mockery.
He probably laughed all the way out of town, his pockets filled with the money he’d extorted from the trusting people of Serenity.
She didn’t know which she felt in greater portion — despair or rage. She wanted to scream, to cry, to tear something. She wanted to hurt him, to hate him, to stop him.
“Mom?”
She looked down at Jason, who stood in front of her, holding a glittery drawing still wet with glue. Vacantly, she took it.
“Mom, are you all right?”
She looked at the church members smiling and milling around in the hallway. For a moment, she thought of telling them all that if they hurried, they might still catch him. She’d told them over and over. But no one would be any more likely to believe her now than they had before.
No one except Joey.
She took Jason into the church and set him down with his grandparents. Then she went out to her car, locked herself in. Trembling, she punched in Joey’s cell number. On the fourth ring, he answered.
“Hello?”
“Joey, I was right,” she blurted. “He’s gone, and he took all the money!”
“Carny?”
“Joey, listen to me. He left this morning in his car. You might be able to stop him.”
“Carny, who are you talking about?”
“Logan Brisco!” she shouted.
She heard the noise of the police station behind Joey’s voice. “Where did he go?”
Tears assaulted her with brutal force, cracking her voice. “He took off, Joey. Just like I predicted.”
“Are you all right?”
“No!” she screamed. “I’m not. I’ve been had, just like everybody in this town! Joey, please do something!”
“I’ll be right over,” he said.
“No,” she cried. “I’m at church. You’re not listening. Don’t come here. Go after him!”
After she cut off the phone, sobs took hold of her. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have allowed herself to get caught in his con? How had she managed to fall in love with someone she had known all along was a liar?
The phone rang, and she caught her breath as a fragile hope sprang inside her. Maybe it was Logan, and maybe he had an explanation …
Without even looking at the caller ID, she clicked it on. “Hello?”
“Carny, it’s Joey.”
Her heart sank like a lead weight, and she hated herself for hoping — even for a moment — that Logan would call.
“Carny, I just texted Doc, and he felt pretty sure that Logan’s coming back.”
“Then why did he steal out of town early on a Sunday morning, without telling a soul? He told me he’d be at church, that he was going to come clean to the congregation.”
“Come clean? He admitted to you that he’s a con artist?”
“Yes. He claimed to have had this God experience … Oh, it doesn’t matter now. Just stop him, Joey!”
“Did you get his picture?”
“I got it. I’ll email it to you. Joey, he told me he had been to prison. That he really was a fraud, but that he’s changed. That he really intends to build the park.”
“Did he say what name he served time under? What
state?”
“No.” Why hadn’t she asked? “Joey, please go after him. You might still catch him.”
“Carny, you can’t arrest a man for checking out of a motel.”
“Fine, Joey,” she said through her teeth. “Do nothing. But don’t forget I tried to warn you. I tried to warn everybody.”
She tossed the phone onto her passenger seat and got out of the car. She paced the row of vehicles, struggling to decide what to do now.
The irony of it happening to her — when she had known better than anyone else — overwhelmed her. How could she live with herself after being so stupid?
She was no smarter than any of the others, and she supposed that was what Logan’s bitter lesson had taught her. He had defeated her in the most personal way — by pretending to share her faith in God. And he’d pulled off the ultimate con. He’d made her admit to falling in love.
She sat out in her car until church was over, then flagged Jason down when he came out. Back home, as he ate lunch, she pulled her suitcase out of her closet and began to pack as fast as she could.
She had to get out of here. She had to go where people wouldn’t be constantly telling her that she was overreacting, that Logan would never do anything like that, that their money and hearts and souls were safe with him.
After throwing several days’ worth of clothes into a bag, she ran back into the kitchen. “Honey, come on,” she said. “We’ve got to pack.”
Jason blinked up at her over his sandwich. “For what?”
She led him to his room, yanked open his drawers, and began pulling out clothes. “We’re going on a surprise trip.”
“A trip where?”
“New Mexico,” she said. “We’re going to the carnival to see Grandma and Grandpa.”
His eyes lit up. “All right!” he shouted. “I haven’t seen them in a long time! Can I ride the roller coaster, Mom? I’m big enough this time!”
“We’ll talk about it on the plane,” she said. “Just hurry.”
She wouldn’t be able to breathe freely until she was out of this town, where no one could see the disappointment and failure on her face. She wrote a quick note to her in-laws, telling them where she was going, and ran it by their house on the way to the airport, knowing they were at the Kountry Kitchen eating lunch as they did every Sunday.
Shadow in Serenity Page 22