by Amy Clipston
“This community has plenty of maed, and I’m certain more than one would jump at the chance to marry someone like you.” She pointed an oatmeal raisin cookie at him.
He tilted his head as he decided to challenge her with a question. “Why wouldn’t you date me when I asked you?”
Her smile faded and her teasing eyes dulled. She sat back in the chair and set the cookie on her plate. “I liked you. But mei mamm was pressuring me to date you, even marry you, and I felt trapped.”
“Your mamm was pressuring you to marry me?” He leaned forward on the table.
She nodded.
“How did she pressure you?”
“She talked about you constantly.” Her gaze fell back to the table, and he longed for her to look him in the eye. “She kept telling me how it was obvious you cared about me. She said I should show you I cared about you as well. Then she talked on and on about how you and I could live on the farm and take it over when she and Dat retired. She said we could start out in the daadihaus until Dat built us a haus.”
“And you didn’t want to build a life with me,” Ian surmised, each word stabbing him in the heart.
“It wasn’t that, really.” She met his gaze and shook her head. “I was frustrated with her because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to make my own decisions. Mamm and I had a huge argument about it. And I guess I wanted to spite her, so I went to visit Mim. Her youth group got together with a few other youth groups in the area, and Simeon came with a few freinden he was visiting. We spent a lot of time together, and when I came home, he called me a few times a week and we wrote letters. Then he asked me to marry him. I said yes, and I think they would have been supportive of our marriage—but not if I moved to Ronks. That’s when I left.”
Ian’s stomach churned as jealousy coiled like an angry, venomous snake in his gut. Why did her mother have to interfere? If Mary had kept her opinions to herself, would he have had a chance with Eva? Could they have built a life together on this farm instead of Ian having to live alone in the daadihaus?
But Eva had come back. Maybe God was giving him a second chance with her. He had to tell her how he felt. If he didn’t tell her now, he may never have another chance.
“I’ve always cared about you, Eva.” His voice sounded thin to his own ears. “That’s why I never married.”
Her eyes widened, and then she pushed back her chair and stood.
“I need to get started on my chores. I don’t want mei mamm to come back to a messy kitchen.” She hurried to the sink and began washing a plate.
Ian scowled as he silently berated himself for coming on so strong when they were having their most intimate conversation since she came home. He had to find a way to get her to open up to him again.
He carried their plates and glasses to the counter and set them down. “Let me dry. It will go faster.”
“No.” She kept her eyes focused on the sink. “You go on outside. I can handle this just fine.”
He studied her beautiful profile for a moment and then started toward the mudroom. When he reached the doorway, he turned and looked at her.
“Eva,” he began, “your parents have always loved you. You should come home to them. They miss you and they need you.”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then focused on her task again.
As Ian walked through the mudroom, he was certain he’d ruined his chance to ever win her heart.
As soon as the back door shut, Eva slumped against the sink and released the breath she’d been holding. Ian’s admission that he still cared for her had punched her in the chest, knocking the wind out of her. She’d never expected him to say he still had feelings for her.
She turned toward the window and watched him stalk out to the dairy barn. He was still the amazing man she remembered. She didn’t regret her life with Simeon, but she still cared for Ian. She had always harbored feelings for him, but she’d been young and prideful when her mother pressured her to date him. Now, with more mature eyes, she saw what a fine, solid Christian man he was. He’d be a wonderful husband and a gentle father.
With a shake of her head, she returned to her dishwashing. She had no business even considering a relationship with a man. She was still emotional after losing Simeon, and her life was complicated because she had to consider Junior’s feelings. She was better off living with Simeon’s family.
But if she belonged back in Ronks, why did a strong force seem to be pulling her to her father’s farm?
CHAPTER 8
Is this right?” Junior asked as he lifted the fishing line to show Ian the baited hook.
“Ya, that’s exactly right.” Ian pointed toward the pond. “Now, do you remember how to cast your line?”
Junior bit his lower lip, which he always seemed to do when he wasn’t sure about something.
“It’s okay. I’ll show you again.” Leaning over, Ian demonstrated how to cast the line.
They’d spent nearly an hour sitting on the edge of the pond at the back of Harvey’s property, fishing. The sun was high in the sky, and the humid air smelled fresh and clean. It was the perfect Friday afternoon.
“I can’t believe Eva has been here two weeks now,” Harvey commented as he sat on the other side of Junior. “I don’t want their visit to end.” He smiled down at his grandson.
Ian nodded. “I’ve enjoyed it too.”
Junior cast his line and then looked up at Ian. “Did I do it right?”
“Ya. You did.” Ian mussed his golden hair. “You’re gut at fishing.”
“Really?” Junior’s face lit up.
“Really.” Ian leaned down and bumped his shoulder against Junior’s.
“He has really taken to you.” Harvey baited his hook. “And you’re a natural with him.”
“Danki.” Ian cast his line. “He’s a great bu.”
“I’d love to see Eva and Junior stay with us permanently. We have enough room at the haus.” Harvey cast his line and then returned his gaze to his grandson. “Mary and I want to see him grow up, and we don’t want to lose Eva again.”
“I understand.” Ian’s chest constricted as he thought of Eva’s beautiful smile. If only he could find a way to convince her to stay.
Humming to herself, Eva pulled her father’s trousers off the clothesline and folded them before placing them in a large wicker basket. The back door opened and then clicked shut as she pulled down a second pair.
Mamm stepped closer and pulled a shirt off the line. “I guess the men are still fishing?” She folded the garment and set it into the basket.
“Ya.” Eva folded the second pair of trousers. “I was surprised when Ian asked to take Junior. He hasn’t been fishing before. Nathan has talked about teaching him, but he’s been busy volunteering at the fire station and working at the restaurant.”
“Ian is so gut with Junior.” Mamm smiled. “He’s taught him how to do chores, play catch, and now fish.”
“He does have a gift with kinner. I guess he’s had plenty of practice with his bruderskinner.” Happiness buzzed through Eva as she recalled the smile on Junior’s face when Ian offered to take him fishing. Ian was like a special uncle to Junior, and it would be difficult to separate them when they left for Ronks.
“I want to apologize to you.”
Eva spun toward her mother. “What do you mean?”
“I never meant to push you away when you decided to marry Simeon and move to Ronks.” Mamm’s hazel eyes misted over.
Eva took a deep breath. It was time to be brave, to clear the air.
“I loved Simeon with all my heart, and it hurt me when you and Dat even refused to come to our wedding.”
“I know. We behaved badly.” Mamm’s expression was grave. “You broke our hearts when you left, but it was your decision.” She touched Eva’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I needed you when he died.” Eva shuddered as unexpected tears streamed down her face.
“I wanted to be with you, but Mim ma
de it sound as though you didn’t want us to come.”
“I was still so hurt about the wedding, and I told Mim not to invite you. But looking back now, I realize it was immature and stupid for me to do that. I’m sorry too, Mamm.” She sniffed as more tears rained down her cheeks. “I pushed you away too, but I needed you more than I realized.”
“Oh, Eva.” Mamm pulled her into a hug as sobs shook Eva’s body. “Shh, mei liewe. You’re mei dochder, and I’ll always love you. You never lost your dat or me. We prayed God would bring you back to us, and he did. Our prayers are answered.”
Eva fought for control of her tears. “Danki, Mamm.”
“Why were you so angry with me that you went to Mim’s in the first place?”
“It was because of how you were pressuring me about Ian. That you didn’t seem to understand how your interference was affecting me.”
Mamm listened, her expression full of contrition.
“I was immature and naïve, Mamm. But I don’t regret the life I built with Simeon,” Eva said as she carried the laundry basket into the kitchen.
“I know you don’t, and I’m sorry I hurt you and made you feel like you had to leave.” Mamm touched Eva’s shoulder. “I only wanted what was best for you. I never meant to push you away. But your future was always your choice, and I should have honored that. Your dat and I should have come to your wedding. I understand how much you loved Simeon, and we should have respected your decision to move to Ronks.”
“It did hurt that you weren’t there, and I wanted you there.” Eva wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry for not including you when Junior was born. I needed you, and you and Dat had a right to be a part of his life from the beginning.”
“I understand why you did it, but it did hurt us.”
“I’m so sorry, Mamm. I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. I want you and Dat to always be part of Junior’s life.”
“Danki. We want to be a part of both your lives from now on.” Mamm nodded and wiped her face with a napkin from the table. “Would you consider staying with us permanently? Your dat and I would love to have you here. You could still visit Simeon’s family.”
Eva turned toward the back window and focused her eyes on the daadihaus. “I’m not sure about moving here permanently, but I do want to stay awhile. If it’s okay with you, we’ll stay through the summer.”
Mamm hugged Eva again. “We would love that. Danki.” Eva smiled as she relished the feel of her mother’s hug.
“I caught three fish, and they were this big!” Junior spread his arms wide as Eva tucked his little body under the bedsheet later that night.
“Really?” Eva chuckled. “So they were the size of dolphins?”
“No.” Junior shook his head. “More like whales.”
Eva gave a feigned gasp of surprise. “I never knew whales are in Daadi’s pond.”
“They are.” Junior nodded with emphasis.
“You’d better get some sleep, because Daadi and Ian will need your help with chores tomorrow.”
“I like helping them with chores.”
“That’s gut. They appreciate your help.”
“Ian is so nice to me. He teaches me things.”
“Ya, he does.” She touched his nose.
“Can we stay here?”
Eva felt her lips press together in a frown as she brushed back his hair. “I think your mammi back in Ronks would miss you, along with Daadi, Onkel Nathan, Aenti Kayla, and Onkel Jamie. Wouldn’t you miss them too?”
“Maybe they can come visit us here.”
“We’ll see.” Eva stood. “You need to say your prayers and go to sleep. Gut nacht.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead before stepping out into the hallway and quietly closing his door.
As she walked into her bedroom, her heart twisted. Did she and Junior belong in New Wilmington with her family and Ian, or did they belong in Ronks with Simeon’s family?
She lowered herself onto the corner of her bed, closed her eyes, and began to pray. “Lord, please show me where mei sohn and I belong. I’m grateful you encouraged me to visit my parents and helped me work things out with mei mamm. But now I’m confused. Please show me where I should raise Junior.”
Eva pushed the ties of her prayer covering over her shoulders as she stepped out of the phone shanty and into the hot August morning sun.
Hugging her arms over her chest, she recalled the conversation she’d just shared with her mother-in-law. She loved hearing about how busy the restaurant was, how Nathan was enjoying both volunteering at the fire department and spending time with his youth group, and how Kayla and Jamie were doing. Marilyn told Eva everyone missed both her and Junior, but she also encouraged her to enjoy her time in New Wilmington and not feel rushed to come back to Ronks.
Eva glanced at the barn and smiled as her thoughts shifted to Junior. They had both fallen into a comfortable routine during the past two months. Junior helped with the farm chores and spent time with Dat and Ian, and Eva helped her mother cook, clean, and sew.
She and Junior were happy here, but even after reconciling with her mother and coming to an unspoken agreement with Ian to remain just friends, she couldn’t shake the thread of worry that haunted the back of her mind. She still wasn’t sure if she and Junior belonged here or back in Ronks. If she decided to move here, it would crush Simeon’s parents’ hearts. They’d been a part of Junior’s life since he was born, and they cherished him as much as she did. How could she rip their grandson from their lives when they craved having a part of Simeon as much as she did? Taking Junior from them would be cruel, and she couldn’t fathom hurting them when they meant so much to her.
Ian stepped out of the barn and waved, and Eva picked up her pace as she returned the gesture.
“What brings you out here?” he asked as she approached him.
“I was just on the phone with Marilyn. She updated me on everyone back in Ronks.”
“That’s great.” Ian nodded toward the path that led to the pasture. “Would you please go for a walk with me?”
“Ya.” She fell into step with him. “It’s a schee day for a walk.” She glanced up toward the porch, and a memory filled her mind. “Do you remember that time Miriam Faye came over, and we tried making mei mammi’s recipe for lemon meringue pie?”
He groaned and shook his head. “It was so bad.”
She laughed and smacked his arm. “Ya, it was terrible. I didn’t cook the pudding enough and it was so runny. You practically needed a straw to drink it instead of a fork to eat it.” She smiled up at him. “But you were a trooper. You ate it anyway, and you said it was gut.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Warmth swelled in her chest as she lost herself in his brown eyes. He always considered her feelings, no matter the circumstance.
He led her to one of the smaller barns, where Dat kept his tools and supplies. “I need to show you something.”
“All right.” Her curiosity piqued as they walked to the back of the barn, where she saw piles of wood and rope. “What’s this?”
“It’s going to be that swing set. I’ve been gathering the pieces for more than a month now.” He pointed to his collection. “It’s going to have three swings, a slide, and a fort. Do you think Junior will like it?”
“He’ll love it. But I’m confused.” She studied him. “You said you would build it only if Junior and I decided to stay here permanently, and I haven’t said we’re staying.”
“You said you’d stay through the summer, and I don’t think a single swing is sufficient for him. He needs a real swing set. Your dat and I are going to start building it today.”
“Danki.” Appreciation mixed with affection wafted over her, and without any forethought, Eva wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a hug.
Ian pulled her even closer, and she closed her eyes, relishing the feel of being in his strong arms. Her pulse skittered as heat rushed through her from head to
toe. For the first time since Simeon died, she felt safe and protected, and she wanted to stay there forever.
Then her spine went rigid. She had no right to enjoy the feel of his touch. She and Ian were treading on dangerous territory, and she needed to put distance between them.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, stepping away from him. “I need to see if mei mamm needs my help. Excuse me.” She rushed toward the barn exit.
“Eva!” Ian called after her. “Eva, wait!”
She kept moving until his voice faded away.
“What’s on your mind?” Harvey looked up at Ian as he handed him another screw to hold the slide in place.
“What do you mean?” Ian kept his eyes focused on his work as he added the screw.
“I’ve known you since you were sixteen years old, and I can tell when something is eating at you. So spill it, sohn.”
Ian bit back a grin. He always enjoyed it when Harvey called him that.
Ian reached down for the last screw. “I’ve just been eager to get this swing set together.”
“It’s more than that.”
“It’s nothing.” Ian added the last screw to the slide and then tossed the screwdriver onto the ground.
Climbing down the ladder, Ian surveyed their work. The swing set was perfect. He couldn’t wait for Junior to wake up from his nap and see it. For the past two days, the boy had begged Ian to allow him to try one of the swings, but Ian explained he had to wait for the full set to be complete. Now that it was, Junior could play on it every day until he and his mother returned to Ronks.
A muscle jumped in Ian’s tight jaw. He dreaded the idea of saying good-bye to Eva and Junior. He’d become so attached to them that it crushed his heart to imagine not seeing them every day.
“It’s Eva, isn’t it?”
Ian’s gaze snapped to Harvey’s. “What?”
“Your mood.” Harvey pointed a finger at him. “You were humming to yourself and smiling a lot. And then you got quiet. You’re in love with mei dochder, aren’t you?”
He’d been caught!