—Any minute now…We have to GO!
—Yes! She’s powering up. Go! Go! Ekim, punch it in. Eyyots!
—How long until…
—Whoa.
—What? Vincent, where are we?
—I don’t know. I think we’re…It’s nighttime. Trees all around us. Ekim, is this Earth? Akt eyet Eteyat?
{Ops eyoktiptet.}
—What did he say?
—Euh…It’s an expression. Beats me. Something like that.
—Look at the stars.
—What?
—Look at the stars. Do you recognize anything?
—I don’t see anything familiar…Yes! That’s…la grande ourse. I don’t know the constellation names. The big bear?
—The Great Bear. Ursa Major.
—Yeah, that. We’re here, Rose. This is Earth.
—Wow. I can’t believe we made it. Eva, say something.
[Dad, what did you do?]
—Not now, Eva.
[Tell me what you did!]
I said not now. It won’t be long before someone notices us. Let’s lay Themis down so we can get out.
[Just tell me?]
Eva, what do you think they’ll do to Ekim if they find him here? He needs to get back. Ekim, eyost yeskust ak eyyots esat.
{Eyekant ets ops. Ethemis eyet onsoks.}
—What did he say? Empty Themis?
—He said Themis is empty. Drained. She used up all her energy to get here. There’s enough left to power the helmets but I can’t move the arms anymore.
—How long do we have to wait, Vincent?
[Dad, I’ll kill you if anything happens to him.]
—Easy, Eva. When you and I drained her in New York, it took only a few minutes before she was able to move again. Looks like we’re in the middle of nowhere. With any luck, no one’s spotted us and we can get out before the sun comes up. Heck, it might take days before we’re found. Just like last time.
[Last time we almost died.]
Then not like last time. Look, there’s nothing I can do. If I knew how to speed this up, believe me I would.
—Go talk to Ekim, Eva. You have some time. You should talk to him. You might not see him again after he’s gone.
[I hate you, Dad. I really hate you.]
—I know.
—She’ll get over it, Vincent. Just give her time.
—I don’t know, Rose. What we did, it’s…Anyway, she’s home, that’s all that matters. Now we just need to get Ekim home safe.
—He could stay here.
—No, he couldn’t. They’d put him in a cage, stick needles in him all day. A hundred million of us died the last time his people were on Earth. It’s been a while, but I don’t think folks here would’ve forgotten.
—What will happen to him when he gets back home?
—Well, he’ll tell them we kidnapped him—we did. Hopefully, they’ll end it at that.
—Do you think they’ll believe him?
—I don’t know, Rose. What would you have me do? Write him a note?
—He looks scared.
—He’s a kid! He’s millions of miles away from home, and he may have just committed treason. I’d be scared too.
—You put a gun to his head.
—Like I said, I’d be scared too.
—We just traveled millions of miles ourselves, you know.
—Weird, isn’t it? We’ve waited all this time, then, boom. We’re here.
—Our…friend once told me it took ten days to get from there to here. It just feels instantaneous. I’m not sure how they’d know.
—Know what, Rose?
—How long it takes to get from there to here.
—They’d probably check the date?
—How? We can get the date here, but what we’d need to know is the date over there, now. How do you get that? You go back, divide by two?
—I have no idea. I…
—You did what you had to do, Vincent.
—Did I? Did I have to do this?
—Don’t go there, Vincent. Don’t.
—What’s worse is I don’t feel nearly as bad as I think I should. Shit.
—What?
—Can’t be. Not that soon.
—What’s happening?
—Lights. There are a bunch of vehicles coming our way. Trucks, maybe. Ekim, eket eyyots apt aks.
[Who’s coming, Dad?]
I don’t know, but they seem to be in a hurry to get here.
[Yokits! Now what? We can’t do anything!]
Well, if it’s just trucks, neither can they. We’re fifteen floors high.
[They can bring a crane.]
It takes days to put together a crane this high. A crane isn’t what I’m worried about.
[What then?]
They might just be locals in some pickup trucks. If they are, we’re still good. We can just transport Themis when she’s charged and disembark somewhere else.
[And if they’re not?]
Well, if they’re military, they won’t just bring trucks. They’ll come with…
[With what?]
That.
[What?! We can’t see, remember?]
A helicopter.
—Is it military?
—It’s big, Rose. It’s not a TV helicopter. Nothing you fly tourists in either.
—What’s it doing?
—It’s coming…Hovering above us now…Side door is opening. Shit. Shit. Shit.
—They’re coming in?
—Two guys on ropes.
—Vincent, who are they?
—I don’t know, but they have guns. One’s at the hatch.
—They might be happy to see us.
—They might be ecstatic. Eva, you should stand in front of Ekim, just in case they’re not. Whoever this is, he’s in the shaft between the hatches.
—The inner hatch is opening.
Vincent, what did he say?
—I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure he said it in Russian.
FILE NO. 2106
INTERVIEW BETWEEN MAJOR KATHERINE LEBEDEV, RUSSIAN MAIN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (GRU), AND DR. ROSE FRANKLIN, PH.D.
Location: GRU building, Saint Petersburg, Russia
—Good morning, Dr. Franklin. I trust you had a good night’s sleep. I’m sure you did. We have really good drugs…Don’t tell anyone, but I take some from time to time when I need the rest. I never thought I’d get to do this, but on behalf of the Russian Federation, and the entire planet, I suppose, welcome back! And welcome to Russia!
—We’re in Russia?
—Yeah! You are! Sit down, Dr. Franklin. You’re making me nervous.
—I’m sorry. I am a bit nervous. I don’t know what I’m doing here.
—Oh, you have every right to be nervous, Dr. Franklin. I said you were making me nervous. I’m supposed to look superconfident. That’s hard to do if I’m fidgeting in my seat. But this is so exciting! Please sit!
—I don’t suppose you’ll tell me who you are, or where I am.
—Who I am? Doesn’t it say on…Where is it? There’s a little plaque with my name on it…Oh, here it is. I’m Katherine Lebedev.
—You don’t sound Russian.
—I hope not. I spent most of my life in New Hampshire. I went to Brown. Law school.
—You were a spy.
—I wa…No! I was a kid. I was born there. I played with dolls. My parents were spies. I didn’t find out about any of it until it was time to leave. I moved back here eleven years ago, and here we are! I was saying something. Oh yes. I’m Katherine Lebedev. I’m a major in the GRU.
—…
—You don’t know what that is, do
you? The Main Intelligence Agency of the General Staff of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation. Mouthful, I know.
—It sounds like the KGB.
—The KGB—it’s called the SVR nowadays, by the way—is for kids. Don’t tell them I said that. We’re ten times bigger than the SVR. OK, maybe not ten times, but we’re it. This is where the fun is. We have six times the numbers of agents, spy satellites, James Bond stuff. What else did you wanna know? Oh yes, you’re in—we’re in Saint Petersburg. Government office. Big grey building.
—Are you the head of this…GRU?
—Me? I wish. No, I’m a lowly major. I run a small—tiny, really—division focused on alien tech. We don’t have any, so, like I said, it’s small. Which is why you’ll understand how happy I was, how happy we all were, when you landed in Estonia. Only a few hours away, really. What are the odds?
—Estonia? You said we were in Russia?
—Right! You don’t know! I’m sorry. Where are my manners? You have a lot of catching up to do. What do you wanna know? Ask away.
—How long were we gone?
—Nine years, three months, six days—ninety-seven days—nine years and ninety-seven days. I’m sorry, I don’t know the scientific way…
—Nine years? We thought it was less than that.
—Oh! Our scientists talked about that. Something about time dilation when traveling at near-light speed. I don’t understand any of it, but they said you might come back a thousand years old. No, that can’t be. A thousand years would have passed here. Can you tell I’m not a scientist? So how long did you think you were gone for? A few seconds?
—Eight years, seven months, maybe eight.
—Oh…Wait? You don’t know exactly?
—We…Do you know where we were?
—I’m waiting for you to tell me, but everyone assumed you went to the planet where those robots are from.
—Right. It’s called…
—What? It’s called what? Oh, you don’t know if you should tell me…It’s really up to you. No, it’s not really up to you, but you know what I mean. It’s not like we’ll torture you on your first day. I’m kidding! GRU humor…I know. How about this? Do you think telling me the name of the place will forever upset the balance of power? Besides, you worked for the United Nations when you left. We’re in there. It’s your world!
—What?
—It’s your world. The motto of the United Nations.
—I didn’t know it had a motto.
—Awful, isn’t it? So, what do you say? Please! I’m dying here.
—It’s called Esat Ekt. It means Home of the Ekt. That’s what they call themselves. We couldn’t keep Earth time, but they…They use a unit of time that’s somewhere around a minute, so…
—You didn’t have a watch? Or a phone?
—We did before the batteries ran out. So like I said, we counted our heartbeats during that unit of time—Vincent and I know our normal heart rate—and we did the math. Obviously, we were a bit off. It’s possible the air was different. More oxygen, maybe.
—Oh, like when you’re on a mountain.
—Well, that would be the opposite. But yes, that’s the idea.
—Sorry. Law school, remember? Oh, before I forget. When you left, General Govender was with you. Now he’s not, unless he somehow got transformed into an alien teenager. What happened to him?
—He died.
—I’m sorry…How? Did they kill him?
—He died of natural causes.
—So sad…SO, the people on that planet are called the Ekt. That’s what he is, your friend that came with you? He’s an…Ekt?
—I thought you wanted to answer my questions.
—I did it again, didn’t I? I’m so sorry. I get too excited. I am! I am so thrilled! But I do that. I steal the conversation, and I don’t even notice it until I’ve offended someone. Please forgive me? I swear—No, I won’t, because then I’ll do it again five minutes from now, and I’ll feel even worse. Stop talking Katherine. PLEASE! Dr. Franklin. What do you wanna know?
—I’m sorry, Ms. Lebedev, I—
—Did you just call me Ms. Lebedev? It’s the office, it does that. I don’t even know what it’s called. Victorian gothic? Ms. Lebedev is my mom. I’m Katherine. Call me Katherine.
—OK. Katherine. I don’t know if it’s the traveling or if the drugs you gave me are still working, but I’m exhausted. Would it be possible to continue this conversation tomorrow?
—Of course! You traveled, I don’t know, millions of miles, and here I am asking you all these questions. You get some rest. We’ll talk when you feel you’re ready.
—Thank you.
—Don’t even mention it. I want you to know that we’re doing everything we can to help your friend, even if you’re being less than forthcoming with us, being exhausted and all.
—My friend?
—Yes, your friend. The young Ekt—I love saying that—who came with you. He’s a bit sick, I’m afraid. Don’t worry, though, you need to rest. I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s got the best doctors with him.
—What did you do to him?
—What did I—? What makes you think I would hurt him?
—There was a scientist working for you before we left, she…
—You mean Dr. Papantoniou. What about her?
—She had no problem submitting people to very invasive procedures to get what she wanted.
—That was before my time. I did hear some pretty nasty things about her, though, but she works for the Americans, now.
—Alyssa does? What does she do?
—Oh, we can talk about that tomorrow. You need rest, remember?
—Please.
—She finds pilots for them. Some kind of blood test.
—Pilots for what?
—For their robot. Giant one, like Themis. I told you you had a lot of catching up to do.
—What robot? Where did they find it?
—Well, you gave it to them.
—Me?
—Yeah, you. Nine years ago, you disabled one of them in New York. It fell to the ground in pieces, remember? How long do you think it took for the US military to grab it?
—But it didn’t work.
—Well, it does now!
—How do they even pilot it? Do they have someone with legs like Vincent?
—I have no idea. But that geneticist finds pilots for them. I hope you don’t think I’m anything like her! I seriously hope you don’t, because…woooo…crazy. I mean, sure! I like to get what I want—I usually do get it—but I don’t want anything bad to happen to your friend. I really don’t.
—What do you want?
—From him? I want him to get better. I really want him to pilot that big robot for us, but he can’t do that if he’s sick, now, can he? So I want him to get better. He seems nice. A nice Ekt.
—…
—That’s a lot to take in all at once, I know. Go get some rest. We’ll talk later.
—Am I a prisoner?
—What? Of course not! You’re free to leave whenever you want, go wherever you want.
—I could leave this building and no one would stop me?
—Your escort will take you anywhere you want to go. Take in the city! It’s beautiful. It’s a lot better than Moscow, if you wanna know what I think. See the cathedrals. Walk along Nevsky Prospect. If you want to visit the Hermitage, I’d love to go with you. I haven’t been in years.
—Can I see my friends?
—That’s a great idea! Why don’t we all have dinner together? After you get some rest, of course.
FILE NO. 2108
INTERVIEW BETWEEN MAJOR KATHERINE LEBEDEV, RUSSIAN MAIN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (GRU), AND VINCENT COUTURE
Location: GRU building, Saint Petersbur
g, Russia
—How are you feeling, Vincent? I can call you Vincent, right? You had a lot of wine last night. Wish I could have. Appearances. You know how it is.
—I’m fine. Thank you.
—You barely touched your plate, though. Rose and Eva didn’t eat either. Should I tell them to fire the chef?
—It’s not him. On…Where we were, the people have more sensitive taste buds than we do. The flavors there are a lot more subtle.
—Bland.
—Yeah, that’s how it feels at first. I guess we’ve gotten used to it. I’m sure the food was great. Thank you for dinner.
—You’re welcome! I knew you and I would get along! So glad, especially after meeting your daughter. She’s soooo confrontational! Wow! I don’t think she and I’ll be BFFs.
—You never met her mom.
—I wish I had. I know I’m a few years late, but I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I meant that in a good way, about your daughter, you know. She has character. I like that. How old is she now? Nineteen?
—Yes she is. How’s our friend?
—You mean Ekim? Eva told me. Oh, don’t make that face. What difference does it make if I know his name? He’s not well.
—Do you know what’s wrong with him?
—A lot of things. He’s got the flu, for starters. His immune system is completely out of whack, and he’s infected with toxoplasmosis.
—What?
—I know. The Marine—yes, they’re called marines here too—who got you out of the robot has cats. They tell me about half the world’s population is infected with toxoplasmosis—did you know?—almost everyone in some places. Most people don’t show any symptoms, apparently, but your friend does, a lot of them. And he’s not responding to antibiotics, antimalarials, nothing. To be honest, we’re afraid the meds will kill him if the disease doesn’t.
—Please save him. I’m begging you, find a way to save him.
—You really care about him.
—He’s my friend.
—Are you sure that’s all he is? I thought maybe…
—Yes…
—Nah. You’ll think it’s silly. Ah, what the hell! I like to listen to people, in restaurants, everywhere. My parents were spies, you know, or maybe you don’t know. Well, now you do. Anyway, maybe eavesdropping is a genetic thing. It’s like a game. I try to guess things about people. Sometimes I even think I’m good at it. So yesterday at dinner, I couldn’t help noticing a bit of tension between you and your daughter. I didn’t make anything of it at first, but come dessert I’m thinking Eva’s mad at Daddy for something. What if she’s mad because Ekim got sick? What if Ekim’s the boyfriend? Maybe she blames Dad for what’s happening. Now Dad, he loves his daughter, he really doesn’t want anything to happen to the boyfriend because he feels responsible and he’s afraid his daughter won’t forgive him…That’s it. That’s all I got. Am I close?
Only Human Page 2