by J. S. Scott
I wasn’t quite sure what to do now, and I wasn’t positive how Brooke would react in the light of day. I’d snuck out of her house like a coward this morning, afraid I wouldn’t see the same desire in her eyes.
She was bound to feel guilty for screwing another guy. I knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t take that shit lightly. I sure as hell didn’t.
“What happened?” Xander looked confused.
I wasn’t going to discuss my sex life with Xander. “Nothing. We had sex. End of story.”
Xander eyed me suspiciously. “I think it changed everything. She’s not just a fantasy anymore.”
“Fuck! How in the hell do you know what I fantasize about?” Xander was getting on my nerves.
“Been there myself, remember? Once you have that kind of connection with the right woman, you can’t let her go. Not that I’m all that sure I could have let go of Sam even without that connection, but having sex with Brooke obviously changed things for you.”
I grunted. “So now you’re the love doctor? Just because you were lucky enough to get Sam to marry you?”
“It wasn’t luck,” he explained. “She loves me.”
“I’m not sure I understand why,” I answered, feeling surly. “You’re irritating as hell.”
Xander grinned. “You know you love getting my advice.”
I gave him a dirty look, and then focused on putting coffee into my body as soon as possible. I gulped the rest of the mug, and then stood up to get another one.
“It’s just physical,” I told him, wishing I hadn’t mentioned that I had slept with Brooke. Xander could be relentless when he wanted to be.
“If you had said that a year ago, I would have told you that nothing else existed except the physical. But I have Sam now, and I know all about wanting more. Take your shot, Liam, or you’re going to regret it. You’ll always wonder what could have been.”
“Shit! Don’t you think I know that? I want to think she’d be happier staying here, but her entire life is in California.”
Xander got up and stood directly in front of me when I turned around with another mug of coffee. “Look, man. In all seriousness, I don’t want to see you fuck up your life. I’ve seen the way you are with Brooke. I can tell she feels the same way. I don’t know what the deal is with the boyfriend, but she cares about you. You need to make her want to stay, because your life is going to suck without her.”
“I don’t want her to stay because I’m somehow coercing her to live in Maine.” What I really wanted was for Brooke to stay because she wanted to be here . . . with me.
“You’re here. She does want to stay. I can tell that she feels the same way that you do. Sometimes it’s easier to see the obvious as an outsider. If you’re personally involved, you can’t see shit. Your head is up your ass.”
I put my coffee down on the counter and crossed my arms in front of me. “So what do you suggest I do, Doctor?”
One love affair gone right and he thought he was an expert? Although I did have to admit that I hoped his view from the outside looking in was accurate.
“Let her know how you feel. She’s probably experiencing the same things you are at the moment. The thing she wants the most is you. Let her know that you want her.”
“I’ve already gotten laid,” I admitted irritably.
Xander raised his eyebrows. “Then maybe you should do it again. Maybe you wouldn’t be so damn cranky.”
“I don’t want anybody but Brooke,” I reluctantly confessed. “I haven’t for a long time, and I’ve never felt the same way about any other woman before . . . ever.”
No other female could catch my interest. I was too obsessed with my employee, and had been since the day I met her for the first time. Since Brooke had arrived, I hadn’t even considered dating anybody else. I was too preoccupied with her.
Xander shrugged. “Then you better make damn sure you get her. Take her out on a real date, make her understand that you’re serious. You do want a relationship with her, right?”
I had never really considered what I wanted. Brooke had always been unattainable for me, so I didn’t spend my time thinking about it. “Yeah, I do,” I finally said in a low voice. “Since I’ve never seen her as anything except off-limits, I don’t think I’ve thought much about that.”
“Jesus, Liam, you’re a nice guy, but I’m starting to question your reasoning ability.”
“I don’t have many rational thoughts when Brooke is around.”
“I noticed,” Xander shot back. “And I get it. She screws with your head. Been there. But she’s not doing it on purpose. Brooke is probably unsure of what the hell you want from her. One day she’s off-limits, and the next day you have sex with her. Look, I think she’d be lucky to have a guy like you. You’re generally a smart guy—right now being an exception. I know you’d be faithful. You make a damn good living, and my wife thinks you’re good looking. I wouldn’t know, since I don’t swing that direction, but you do have a former rock star as a best friend. That has to win you some points,” he finished jokingly.
I shot Xander an impatient stare. “You were just as fucked up as I am, and you know it.”
“Probably more,” Xander conceded.
I held up a hand. I didn’t want to get into Xander’s personal life now that he had his head on straight. “I’m torn between leaving her alone so that she can go home, and trying to convince her that she needs me in her life.”
“Think about how you’d feel if you never saw her again. You’ll make up your mind pretty damn quickly. Your time is limited here, Liam.”
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “You’re right. There’s no damn way I can let her go without a fight.”
Xander headed for the door. “Now keep that thought, and don’t think about anything else. I’ve seen how damn stubborn you can be when you want to be.”
There were times I wanted to punch Xander, and now was one of those occasions. The problem was, I knew he was right.
I shouldn’t have left Brooke this morning.
I shouldn’t have given her time to think about what had happened, and then feel guilty about it.
I should have stuck around and convinced her to dump the boyfriend.
I watched as Xander left without another word, exiting through the kitchen door that went outside.
I had been stupid, and maybe she was confused about what I wanted. There were moments when I’d put her at a distance intentionally, and then I turned around and showed her that I wanted her.
I had to stop fighting myself before I could fight for Brooke.
Who was I kidding with my bullshit? I’d do anything to keep her in Amesport so we could be together. I just wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted.
I knew that one thing Xander had said was true: If I didn’t try, I’d regret it.
I’d always wonder what would have happened if I would have been honest with her.
But she had to agree to get rid of the boyfriend first.
Eliminating my competition was my priority.
I grabbed my coffee from the counter and sat down at the table. I needed to wake up enough to get to the restaurant later this morning.
Brooke had the day off, so I wouldn’t see her unless I made an effort to find her.
I swiped my cell phone from the table, hoping like hell that Tessa would be available later to cover for me.
CHAPTER 8
BROOKE
“I can’t wait to see you,” Jade said excitedly. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’m coming home next week,” I reminded her, trying to keep my voice calm on the phone so she didn’t know that I was hurting.
Jade sensed things with me, just like I could tell when something wasn’t quite right with her. Our twin bond was pretty strong, even though we weren’t identical.
I’d woken up this morning in a complete funk, and it hadn’t gone away. I had no idea why Liam had left, or when he had gone, but it was kind of a figur
ative slap in the face to see that he hadn’t even left a note.
Of course, he did still think I had a boyfriend.
“I know,” she answered. “I’m just glad you can finally come back.”
I desperately wanted to see her. “I’ll let you know when I’m coming in. Evan is lending me his jet. I can’t wait to see you. It seems like forever.”
Jade and I had never been apart this long, and not having her to talk to was killing me. Sure, we’d talked on the phone, but it wasn’t the same. We were sisters, twins, and we did everything from shopping to girls’ night together. She’d always been my best friend.
Maybe I’d really needed time alone. When I’d come to Amesport, I hadn’t been able to describe the pain and fear that I had to get through. And I hadn’t wanted to talk.
Now I was desperate to see my family.
“I can’t wait to find out what you’ve been up to for almost a year. I’ve heard so much about Amesport that I want to experience it for myself.”
“There isn’t exactly a lot of exciting news from here,” I warned her. “It’s pretty quiet until the summer.”
“I don’t care. I just really need to see you. I need to know you’re really okay.”
“I’m fine. Better,” I reassured her.
My gut instinct was screaming at me that something wasn’t quite right with Jade, but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was. “How are you doing on your project?”
Before I’d left, Jade had been working on a wildlife-conservation project as part of her graduate studies.
“My thesis is done,” she answered.
“That’s amazing,” I commented enthusiastically.
“It’s a relief,” she confessed.
“I thought you liked doing it,” I said, confused that my sister wasn’t glowing over the fact that she was finally out of school and could go to work full-time as a wildlife biologist.
“I did,” she said vaguely. “But I’m glad it’s over.”
“Are you still teaching?” I questioned.
In addition to her education as a wildlife scientist, Jade was an expert in primitive-wilderness survival. She’d gone from student to teacher several years ago.
“Not as much as I’d like, but I might have a television gig coming up in the future. The producers of that TV program about survivalists contacted me to see if I was interested in being on the show.”
“Jade,” I squealed. “That would be amazing!” I was so excited for her. She loved being a scientist, but her survivalist training was just as important to her, even though it was still a hobby.
She sighed. “I’m not sure I should do it. Who knows what weird stuff they do for television.”
“You have to do it,” I insisted. “If it isn’t what you signed up for, you can walk away.”
“I suppose.”
“Contact them. Please. I think you’d kick some major ass.” I didn’t know anybody as skilled as my sister.
“I’ll think about it. But you know what that show is like. If I get a lame-ass partner, I’ll be screwed.”
My sister and I had watched every episode of the program. I knew getting the right partner was everything. “Maybe you’ll get somebody hot,” I told her jokingly.
“More than likely, I’ll end up with a wannabe-alpha-male survivalist. You know how many of those they get on the show. Guys who want to play at being in the wild, but they don’t know a damn thing about how to survive.”
I was pretty sure that very few people were as serious as my sister about their skills, but I still wanted her to give it a try. “You might get lucky.”
She snorted. “I doubt it. So many people are getting into it because of the show, and they don’t really care that much about why they’re doing it. I do it because I want that connection with my ancestors. I want to know what it was like for them to cope in a world without cell phones, the Internet, and all of the other things we have at our fingertips now.”
“Then go kick some ass,” I advised.
“Like I said, I’ll think about it.”
“Are you okay?” I asked. It wasn’t like Jade to shy away from anything.
“I’m good,” she told me. “Maybe I’m just missing you.”
“I miss you, too,” I confessed. “How is everybody back home? How’s Owen doing?”
My youngest brother was gifted. He was barely twenty-five, and he was finished with med school. Right now, he was doing his residency.
“He’s excelling, as usual. He was home on break during the holidays, and he was so quiet. I tried to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn’t tell me what was bothering him,” Jade explained. “The only thing he mentioned was that he was having a hard time handling the human suffering of his job. But he’s good at it. He’s going to make an excellent physician.”
“I can see how that could happen. Owen’s always been the kindest one in the family. He’s wicked smart, but he wears his heart on his sleeve.”
“I know,” Jade agreed. “But I hope he never changes.”
Honestly, I didn’t want to see my little brother different because of his career choice. I could always count on him to be the voice of reason.
“Everybody else okay?” I probed.
“If you’re asking if our three older brothers are doing all right, I can report that they’re all still a pain in the ass. But they’re healthy for now. Until I kill them for trying to stick their noses in my business.”
I laughed, knowing that Jade could give as good as she got. She had no problem telling Noah, Seth, and Aiden when they were being intrusive.
Unfortunately, they were meddlesome almost all the time.
“Try to keep them in line,” I requested. “I’m sure they’ll have plenty of brotherly advice for me when I get home.”
I sighed. I spoke to all my brothers on the phone pretty often, and they were always full of advice.
“They’re worried about you, Brooke. We all are,” Jade said seriously.
I sighed again. “I know. But I’m coming home, and I’m doing better. I’m hoping things will get back to normal. It’s been a long year.”
“How are you going to leave your hot boss?” she teased.
I’d told Jade about Liam, and how I felt about him. She’d been the only person I could talk to about my insanely attractive boss.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Maybe it’s a good thing I’m leaving.”
“Brooke! I know that voice. You’re holding out on me. You slept with him, didn’t you?”
God, sometimes I hated being so close to my sibling. “I did.”
“Spill it, sister. Tell me everything.”
I gave her the brief version of what happened with Liam. I wasn’t about to tell my sister that Liam had completely rocked my world to the point where I’d never be quite the same ever again. She’d be trying to convince me to marry him.
“So you’re just going to go?” Jade asked. “How can you do that when you’ve found your dream man?”
“You’re such a romantic,” I accused.
“I’m not. I know that not everybody has a happily ever after. But you didn’t settle for less than you deserved. You waited to find him.”
I rolled my eyes. My sister could be a little dramatic about relationships, which was weird to me. Jade was so pragmatic in most other areas of her life, but she took finding the right guy to extremes.
“He’s not the one,” I told her, knowing that I was lying. Liam was the right guy, but the circumstances were impossible.
“I don’t believe you,” she challenged. “What’s wrong?”
“He thinks I have a boyfriend, remember?”
“You haven’t told him that it was Noah?”
“No. He’ll hate me for lying to him.”
“Brooke, you have to tell him now. You slept with him. Do you really want him to think that he screwed a woman who was already taken?”
I hadn’t quite thought about how Liam would feel. I’d been t
oo busy worrying about how to protect myself from the one man who could make me completely lose my composure. “It’s probably better that he thinks that. The alternative is knowing I lied to him. He hates liars.”
“You didn’t have a choice,” she argued. “He isn’t going to blame you. If this guy is everything you think he is, there’s no way he wouldn’t want to know the truth.”
Jade was probably right, but I didn’t want to make things difficult between Liam and me for the next two weeks. “We’ll see,” I said vaguely. “It depends on how things go when I see him. I haven’t talked to him since we slept together.”
“Oh, my God. This just happened, right?”
“Last night,” I confirmed, knowing it was useless to try to hide much from Jade. She’d just badger it out of me.
“Please don’t let this misunderstanding keep going,” she pleaded. “You should tell him the truth. If he’s a good man, he’ll get why you lied. He already knows you’re there for a reason. He has to have figured out that you were hiding who you were and why you were there.”
“I never told him why.”
“Just explain everything that happened. For God’s sake, you’ve been through hell. Now that you’re coming home, you have no reason to hide anything.”
Jade was right. I could tell Liam everything. “I’m afraid,” I admitted.
“You have no reason to be. It’s just your brain messing with you. You’ve been through a lot,” she said in a comforting tone. “Don’t you think you should at least try to let him know that you care about him? That you really didn’t want to lie to him?”
“What if he doesn’t understand, Jade?” I asked her.
“Then he’s a dick,” she said. “He doesn’t deserve you.”
“What if all of this was just about getting laid? A crazy physical thing.”
“Then he’s still a dick.”
I laughed. “I don’t know what he wants. I’m confused.”
“And you think he’s not? He thinks you already have a guy, so that would make you a cheater. Anything is better than that. Even a liar.”
Our conversation led to other subjects, but what Jade had told me still lurked in my brain. Would Liam take it better that I had lied? The boyfriend thing had always kept him at a distance.