“I still don’t like it.” His grip on me tightens more, his fingers digging into my skin a little too much, but I don’t say anything, I’m more concerned with knocking this insecurity out of him. I stop walking and turn to face him. I place my hands on either side of his face and stare straight into his eyes.
“I am not interested in Tom,” I start, saying each word slowly. “The only man that I care about is stood right in front of me. I don’t care if Jeremy chats to him because there is nothing that Tom can say that will affect me. He’s part of my past, but you are my future.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I do.”
“I don’t ever want you to leave me,” he says with a new-found urgency in his tone.
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“You’re mine and no one else’s.”
“Yes, Michael, I’m yours.”
Chapter Fourteen
Commitment
“Move in with me,” Michael says as we lay in bed together, our limbs entwined. I shoot up to a sitting position and swivel my body around so that I can look at him.
“What?” I whisper, astounded by his question.
“Move in with me.” It’s not a question, more of a statement.
“Are you serious?” I ask. We have only been together for five months, so it seems a little rushed.
“I have never been more serious about anything before.” He sits up and cups my face in his hands. “I love you and I want to wake up to you every morning. I don’t want to be apart from you.”
“But, we haven’t been together for that long, what happens if it doesn’t work out?” My insecurities rear their head. I moved in with Tom and it all went to shit. I don’t want that to happen with Michael.
“Why wouldn’t it work out?”
“I don’t know. Life throws unexpected shit at you,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.
“It does, but I think that we’re stronger together. Aren’t you sick of staying at Kim’s? Don’t you want to have a place that you can call your own?”
“Well, yeah, eventually––”
“Then why not now?” He looks so hopeful and I don’t want my worries to wipe the hope off of his face.
“I just… What we have is great and I love being with you. I don’t want anything to change.”
“It won’t change. It will be better. Don’t you want to try it?”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought, haven’t you?” I ask him, seeing it written across his face.
“I’ve thought about it since the moment that I realised I was in love with you.” His words blow me away. I’ve never met a man as deep as him. “So what do you say? Give it a chance? A trial run if that makes it seem less scary?”
I love him.
He loves me.
We’re happy.
Living together is the next step.
A trial run. I can do that. I can take it one day at a time.
“Okay, let’s do it.”
Chapter Fifteen
The honeymoon period
A week has passed since I moved in with Michael, and if every week continues to be like this past one, then moving in here was the best decision that I ever made.
We go to work together, we come home together, we cook together, we pretty much do everything together, and I love it. Of course this is the honeymoon period, so I am not expecting it to be like this forever, but I am enjoying every moment of it while it lasts.
“Babe, I’ve run the bath,” Michael shouts from the bathroom.
We got in from work tonight and Michael could see that I had had a stressful day filled with client meetings, so he ordered me to sit on the sofa whilst he cooked dinner. I did as I was told, and he made a delicious meal of spaghetti carbonara before he cleaned up and then announced that he was running me a relaxing bath.
I smile as I make my way to the bathroom to be greeted by the subtle scent of lavender bubble bath hitting my nostrils. I open the bathroom door and am treated to the view of Michael already being sat in the bath tub, with candles placed along the windowsill.
My jaw drops open slightly at his romantic gesture.
“Oh, Michael.”
“What? Too much?” he teases. He knows that I am a sucker for a bit of romance.
“No, I’ve just never been treated like this before.” I feel my eyes well up from the emotions that I am experiencing, and all because of a fucking bath.
“Hey,” he says soothingly. “I didn’t do it to make you cry.”
“Oh, I know that,” I say, trying to shake off my overreaction. “I’m just being silly. It’s been a long day so just ignore me.”
“Never.” I smile at him and thank my lucky stars that he came into my life. “Are you going to shut that door and get in here or am I going to have to drag you in?”
I laugh at his playful nature. He’s been more relaxed since I moved in here. He doesn’t worry about me as much, and I guess that is because he knows where I am and that I’m okay.
I start to undress, and he watches my every move. I make it more seductive than it should be to take your clothes off for a bath, but it makes Michael look at me like he wants to devour me on the spot, so I make an exception.
Once I am undressed, I take the couple of steps to the bath tub and get in. I squeal when Michael suddenly grabs me and pulls me to him.
“Michael,” I say laughing.
“You were taking too long.”
He presses his lips against mine and my whole world comes to a stop. It always does when he touches me. It’s as if nothing else exists.
His hands stroke up and down my arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps. When he pulls back from me, he smiles and signals for me to turn around, so that I am leant against him. I comply and enjoy the warmth of the water and the warmth of his body. I close my eyes, lean my head back and feel Michael nibbling on my ear a few seconds later. I groan in pleasure.
“You know that I love you more than anything, right?” he whispers in my ear.
“More than anything?” I tease. I already know that he does, but I like to have fun with him. He nods, but his face doesn’t look playful, he looks serious.
“I never want you to doubt my love for you.”
“Okay.”
“I will always be here for you.”
“Michael, what’s wrong?” I know there is something troubling him. I can see it in his eyes.
“There is nothing wrong, I just wanted you to know,” he replies, trying to be casual but failing miserably. I bring one of my hands up to his face and place it on his cheek.
“Please talk to me.”
I hear him sigh as he struggles with whether to tell me or not. I wait patiently as he battles with his inner turmoil.
“I don’t like you working with Tyler.”
“What?” I ask with a little humour in my voice. That is definitely not what I was expecting to hear from him.
“It’s not funny, Luce. I don’t like him, and I don’t like him around you.”
“Why not? What’s he done?” I turn my body so that I can gauge Michael’s reaction. His jaw is set firm and his whole body radiates tension. I guess he doesn’t find it easy to tell me how he is feeling sometimes.
“He fancies you.”
I burst out laughing at his statement. “Tyler?”
“Yeah. Don’t fucking laugh at me, Lucy. I didn’t tell you so that you would make fun of me.” His tone grows quiet but assertive and makes me stop laughing immediately.
“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling a little guilty that I reacted in that way.
“I should think so.” He looks pissed off and I want to rescue what was turning out to be a relaxing evening.
“Michael, I don’t know why you think that Tyler fancies me, but even if he did, it wouldn’t make any difference. I don’t fancy him. He’s a young kid who likes to flaunt the fact that he enjoys a bit of banter. He does i
t with everybody.” It really is as simple as that.
“I don’t like it,” he repeats, jaw clenched.
“Well, I can have a word with him and tell him to tone it down, how about that?” I suggest, hoping to end this matter sharpish.
“I just can’t bear the thought of anyone taking you away from me, and if anyone tried, then I don’t know what I would do.”
“I told you that I’m not going anywhere, so stop worrying,” I say as I place a light kiss on his lips and return back to my original position of leaning against him.
I can still feel that Michael’s body is tense, so I decide to give him a little something to help him relax. My hand skims up his thigh until I can hold his length in my hands. I shuffle forward a bit and wrap my fingers around him. I pump slowly to start with, but as Michael’s breathing becomes more rapid, so does my hand. I work him until he releases all of his pent-up tension in the form of an orgasm.
Once finished, I lean back against him and relish in the fact that I can pleasure him. He wraps his arms around the front of me and holds me against him.
“Mine,” he whispers, and that simple word elicits so much emotion within me.
He just wants to be with me and look after me, and I’m okay with that.
Chapter Sixteen
Silly mistakes
“You guys are so cute together,” Kim says as Michael and Jeremy go to the bar to get us more drinks.
“I know. God, Kim, I’m so damn lucky to have found him.”
“Well, he is so much better for you than Tom ever was.” She has grown fond of Michael over the last couple of months which I am incredibly pleased about. It didn’t take long for her to dismiss her perception that Michael wasn’t right for me. Kim has finally realised that Nancy is just some bitter ex that is intent on trying to ruin what Michael and I have.
“I mean, Tom never celebrated your six month anniversary, but Michael, he’s like the guy that is too good to be true.”
“He is,” I say as I look at Michael through lust-filled eyes. He’s leaning against the bar, his muscular arms on display, his handsome face smiling at something Jeremy is saying.
“I’m glad that you found him,” Kim says seriously, placing her hand on my arm to gain my attention.
“Thank you.”
“I just wish that I had never listened to Nancy.”
“It’s all water under the bridge. We all know the truth, and that’s all that matters.”
“Absolutely,” Kim says as she picks up her wine glass and drains the last mouthful.
“Hi, ladies,” a voice says making both of us turn our heads in its direction.
“Oh, Tyler,” I say, caught off guard at his appearance.
“Hey, Tyler,” Kim says.
“Are you two on your own?” Tyler asks us. I am about to answer but Kim beats me to it.
“Well, we are for now,” Kim says with a wink.
“Oh cool. Can I join you for a bit?”
“Sure,” Kim answers.
I feel a bit of my relaxation fade as Tyler sits next to me. Michael doesn’t like Tyler and he won’t be happy with Kim inviting him to sit with us. I can kind of see why Michael might have a problem, I mean, Tyler is only nineteen years old, he’s young, he’s easy on the eye with his black hair styled so that it goes up in a small quiff at the front, his bright green eyes sparkle, and toned physique, but all I see is a boy. He’s not a man, and he’s definitely nothing like my Michael.
“So, what are two good-looking ladies like you doing sat on their own?” Tyler says at the most inappropriate moment as Michael and Jeremy come back to the table. I freeze when I see Michael’s jaw clench.
“They’re not on their own,” Michael bites out behind gritted teeth.
“Oh, hey, man,” Tyler says.
“Who’s this?” Jeremy asks. His reaction is polar opposites to Michael’s. Jeremy is smiling, whereas Michael looks like he wants to drag Tyler out of here.
“This is Tyler, he works with us,” Kim says before adding, “And Lucy is Tyler’s boss.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jeremy says, extending his hand to Tyler. The two guys shake hands and Michael still hasn’t moved. He catches my eye and I can see a fire blazing in his, and not in a good way. He looks to Tyler and I can literally see him assessing how close Tyler is sat to me. I need to rectify this situation quick.
“Excuse me, Tyler, can I just get past you so that I can use the toilet,” I say.
“Sure.” Tyler jumps up and lets me slide out of the booth.
“Thanks.”
I walk away, hoping that Michael calms down by the time that I get back from the toilets. Tyler is just a work colleague, and Michael needs to reign in his dislike of him.
I enter the toilets, use the facilities and wash up after. Taking a few deep breaths, I exit the toilets and am stunned as I am abruptly pulled into a small hallway, just by the side of the toilets. I let out a yelp from the fingers that are gripped tightly around my arm. I am about to scream when I am turned around and I come face to face with Michael.
“Shit, Michael, you scared the hell out of me.” I breathe a sigh of relief that it is just him. I go to move my arm away, but his grip is still tight, and I wince from the pain.
“Michael, you’re hurting me,” I say, realising that he probably doesn’t register his own strength. I expect him to loosen up, but he doesn’t. He just stares at me, a dark look in his eyes.
“Michael, please,” I say, trying to keep myself calm.
“I told you that I didn’t like Tyler.”
“Michael, can you just let go of my arm?” The pain is intensifying, and I am pretty sure that his grip has tightened even more.
“You told me that he meant nothing to you. Did you lie?”
“What?”
“Did you lie about how you feel about him?”
“No, of course not,” I reply, flabbergasted at his reaction.
“Then why the fuck is he sat by you?”
“Because Kim told him that he could sit with us.”
“Don’t blame Kim. He was sat by you.”
“So?” I fail to see where he is going with this.
“So? Is that all you have to say?” His tone is firm, not wavering one little bit.
“What do you want me to say?” Panic starts to rise within me. I’ve never seen Michael this angry before. I don’t know how to deal with it.
“I want you to tell me that you’re not a liar, Lucy. I want you to realise how much I fucking love you, and how much another man sitting next to you pisses me off.”
“I haven’t lied,” I answer quietly.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, Michael, for fuck’s sake. Kim said he could sit down, and he just sat. That’s it, there is nothing more to it than that. You guys came back over thirty seconds later. Now, will you please let go of my arm?” I can see the emotional war that he is battling on the inside and it breaks my heart. “I love you, Michael, nothing is going to change that.”
I watch as his face softens, and he seems to finally register his hand gripping my arm.
“Shit,” he says as he lets me go. I let out a little cry of relief as my arm drops to my side, a dull throb pulsing through it. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Lucy. I just… You being around other guys makes me crazy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never––”
“Shhh,” I say as I place a finger over his lips. “I know.”
I can feel Michael trembling as I push my body against his and wrap my arms around his waist. His arms envelope me fiercely. He whispers that he is sorry over and over again.
I know that he didn’t mean it.
He loves me, and love can make us do silly things.
Chapter Seventeen
Work woes
I have now been in my current management job for three months. Things have been going well, until today. Today has been awful and I have no idea how I am going to make the situation better.
&nb
sp; It was all going well, until Mr Collinson announced that I had to work with Tyler on a certain project. Michael overheard, and my world has currently dimmed a little.
Tyler is ecstatic that he gets to work on this new idea. I smiled and told him that it would be a great opportunity, all the while wondering how I was going to get out of it. I went and spoke to Mr Collinson, but he wouldn’t hear of me handing the project to anyone else, and Tyler shows the most promise on my team, so the decision is final.
Michael didn’t wait for me to walk home with him. Not a good sign.
I say goodbye to Kim and make my way out of the building. Once I step foot outside, my brave face slips and I let the inner turmoil overtake me. Each step towards my home with Michael fills me with dread. This is just going to fuel Michael’s insecurities. We got over the scenario in the pub the other day, but this is going to be ten times worse.
I walk as slowly as I can, but I reach the door of our flat far too quickly. With a heavy heart, I make my way up to door thirteen.
Putting my key in the lock, I turn it and open the door slightly. There is no sound.
Maybe he hasn’t come home yet? Maybe he has gone for a drink to clear his head?
I walk in, shutting the door behind me. I plod along the hallway and into the open-plan kitchen and lounge area, and I jump a mile when I notice Michael sat on the sofa, staring at a blank television screen.
“Shit, you made me jump,” I say, following it with a nervous laugh.
He doesn’t turn to look at me, doesn’t even acknowledge me walking into the room.
I place my bag on the kitchen table and take off my jacket, hooking it over one of the chairs. I slip my shoes off and softly pad my way across to him.
Stopping in front of him, I lower myself down until I am kneeling before him. Placing my hands on his knees, I know that I need to put his fears to rest.
Michael doesn’t believe that he deserves me, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth.
He still stares ahead, almost as if he is looking through me. It hurts, but I know that inside he is hurting more than me. It might seem a little dramatic to some, but Michael loves hard, and I suppose I understand his fear of me leaving. Hell, I’ve lived through a break-up that almost destroyed me, so I have every sympathy for Michael.
Losing Control (The Control Duet Book 1) Page 5