“Anything that is clean!” The new shift felt like heaven.
“Very well, the blue one. Does it fasten up the back? Yes, I see it does.” Molly held out the dress for Elizabeth to step into. “If you are unmarried, who are you being held hostage for? For the rest of us, it is our husbands. Is it your father?”
“I assume it must be Mr. Darcy. He is a friend, and I am his aunt’s ward.”
The other woman raised her eyebrows. “He must be a very good friend if he will change his behavior to keep you safe.”
Elizabeth tried to undo the damage. “His sister is very attached to me.” No, that just sounded foolish; his sister would have been a more useful hostage in that case. “Yes, he is a good friend. A very good friend.”
Molly gave a knowing smile before turning her attention to the buttons. “Perhaps more than a friend?”
“Perhaps. I think so. I thought he was about to make me an offer. Now, of course, that is out of the question.” Her voice shook. Good heavens, was everything going to make her cry today?
“I do not mean to pry,” said the other woman with obvious dismay. “I am too curious for my own good, and I cannot resist seeing romance everywhere. I promise not to tell anyone.”
“It is not a secret as much as something I have not been allowing myself to consider. I miss him so very much, you see.”
“Oh, I understand.” Molly paused. “The other ladies here will tell you I only married my husband for his money, but that is not true. Truly, I would have been willing to marry a man for money, but I do love him. They cannot understand how I can love a man old enough to be my father, but no man has ever treated me with such tenderness and respect, and he was devoted enough to me to offer marriage instead of carte blanche. I am just a poor girl from the docks who was fortunate to find a position as an actress, but he treats me like a queen. How could I not love him?”
“That is true love! My Mr. Darcy is young and handsome, but like you, that is not what I love about him. I love him because he cares so much about everything, from his younger brother who tries hard to provoke him to a puppy met by chance. He even cares about the French – well, a few of them, at least.”
“I am glad you understand.” When Mrs. Hayes smiled, her face lit with extraordinary brilliance. She must have been a marvel on the stage.
“But your story sounds remarkable, almost like a novel. I do hope you will tell me more of it. I love stories. While I was in gaol, I kept my sanity by making up stories. Perhaps someday I will write them down.” Elizabeth smoothed her skirts. Clean clothes at last! She sat down to peel off her stockings.
“This may be your opportunity. There is little to do here, so you would have plenty of time.”
Until now, Elizabeth had not considered her future aboard the ship. It had been enough simply to be alive and out of gaol, but sooner or later she would want more. If she could find something satisfying to do, it would be easier to tolerate the monotony. Georgiana was no doubt distressed over her absence; perhaps she could write out a fantastical adventure in India for the two of them, or any of the stories she had distracted herself with over the years. She smiled. “Perhaps I shall.”
“Oh! I did not see this before.” Molly held out an envelope. “It was with your clothing.”
The seal was broken, but the letter contained two sheets of paper written in Darcy’s close handwriting. She caught her breath, half eager to read it and half afraid. Mme. Demarais had clearly believed Darcy was suffering from her loss, and the commutation of her sentence was clearly for his benefit. But she had wondered how much of his distress had been for her and how much for Georgiana. Now she might find out the answer.
“I see this is a special letter, so I shall leave you to read it. If you wish to find me afterwards, I will be in our stateroom.”
“Thank you for everything. I appreciate the welcome more than I can say.” But she could think only of her letter.
Elizabeth closed the cabin door behind Molly and opened the letter with trembling hands.
My dearest Elizabeth,
As you see, I am taking permission from your letter to address you with equal intimacy. There is no point in protesting that you only called me your dearest William when you assumed I would never have the opportunity to reply, since I intend to seize any advantage I can. I have been silent too long already.
I am told this letter will be opened and read prior to reaching you. Once I might have allowed that to limit me rather than to allow other eyes to see my tender words to you, but no longer. As far as I am concerned, the entire world is welcome to know my sentiments about you, so I will write as if yours are the only eyes that will read it.
I only received the news yesterday that your sentence has been changed. There are no words to express the relief it has given me. I hope you are being treated well aboard the ship. If there is any comfort you wish for, be it a particular book, a favorite food, or some article of clothing, it would be my very great privilege to send it to you. I have already chosen several books for you, and Georgiana is taking great care in selecting the clothing we will send to include your favourites since she longs to be able to help.
Georgiana misses you almost as much as I do. She returned home yesterday from an extended stay at Carlton House under General Desmarais’s supervision. You are well aware of how easily confused she is, and will not be surprised that the change was a great shock to her, even though my aunt attended her throughout her stay. She misses Kit as well since he has gone to stay with friends for a time.
Puck also misses you. He has been my near-constant companion since your arrest, as I have spent almost all the time home, the circumstances making my disposition more unsociable than usual. But I am glad to have Puck since he reminds me of our first meeting. He is settling in here and even obeys my commands most of the time. Very well, he obeys them some of the time. I have discovered on our walks in Hyde Park that it is dangerous to allow him within scenting distance of a duck. Ducks are apparently irresistible to him, and when he sets off after one, his ability to listen disappears entirely. Fortunately for the ducks, he only wants to demonstrate his prowess, releasing them after he catches them, so the park has not been completely denuded of ducks.
You will notice I have said little of how I miss you. I do not have words for that either, and if I tried to express it, you would quickly come to the conclusion that I am in dire straits without you – and you would be correct. During the day I am able to appear in tolerable spirits, but I miss the music of your laughter, the rapier of your wit, and the joy and lightness you brought to this house with your presence. None of this is anything compared to what you have suffered, but be assured it is heartfelt. There is much more I would tell you, and will do so when I am permitted to visit you.
I remain, as ever, your adoring subject,
Theophilus Thistle
Elizabeth pressed the letter against her heart.
***
Puck had found something on the banks of the Thames – a rag caught on a stick, it appeared. As always, the river was full of debris and refuse, a foul odor rising from its waters.
None of it troubled Darcy. His eyes were fixed halfway across the river where the Neptune and the Achille rode at anchor, their rows of cannon pointed directly at London. Just one salvo from those guns would reduce much of the city to rubble. Through the sooty fog, Darcy could just see letters picked out in gold on the bow, but even when he squinted he could not make out details of individual figures on the deck. Damn this fog!
Even if he could not see her, Elizabeth was nearby, alive and well. It would have to be enough.
Puck trotted up to him, his stick proudly held in his mouth. Darcy ruffled his ears. The puppy lay down beside him and chewed energetically on the stick.
“Are your eyes good enough to see her?” Darcy asked the dog. “Perhaps next time I should bring opera glasses.”
Puck responded with a whimper. Even the puppy could sense his mood.
&nbs
p; “I could not agree more,” said Darcy heavily.
***
“Welcome aboard, gentlemen,” said the naval lieutenant with a heavy French accent. “The ladies are on the quarterdeck. Pray permit me to guide you to them.”
“Thank you.” Darcy wanted nothing more than to rush to Elizabeth’s side, but he turned to the soberly dressed man behind him. “Perhaps you might remain here until I have spoken to the lady.”
“Of course,” said the magistrate.
Darcy followed the lieutenant across the spotless deck of the Neptune. Everything on the ship was clean and shining, from the masts to the railings. The crew must have a great deal of time for cleaning, since their only other duty was to be prepared to level London in a barrage of cannon fire. The cannons looked spotless, too.
Darcy scanned the quarterdeck as they approached it, his pulse quickening. Two ladies carrying parasols watched their approach, but even from a distance he could tell neither was Elizabeth. Finally, as he climbed the set of steps to the raised quarterdeck, he spotted her. She stood next to a red-haired lady, their backs to him as they gazed over the stern.
At the sound of his footsteps, she turned, her guarded expression blooming into one of heartfelt delight. She hurried towards him, her hands outstretched, but when the lieutenant cleared his throat, she skidded to a stop just a few feet from him. She held out her hands to the lieutenant instead, her palms facing up.
The lieutenant nodded. “Mr. Darcy, I will need to see your hands, too. It is protocol.”
“We must show that our hands are empty,” said Elizabeth. “They do not want me to slip anything to you, or vice versa.”
The lieutenant added, “Apart from touching hands, you must keep a hand’s breath apart, and no whispering.”
Darcy frowned. “I was already searched on shore, so you need not worry.”
The lieutenant shrugged. “So is everyone, yet the rules still apply.”
Then Elizabeth took his hands, and Darcy lost all interest in the lieutenant and his ridiculous rules. All that mattered was the sparkle in her eyes and the smile curving her tempting lips. Joy rose inside him, a flame that only burned in her presence. The circumstances did not matter. He was with Elizabeth.
He had not even bowed to her. As he gazed into her bewitching eyes, he said the first thing that came to his mind. “Greetings, proud Titania.”
Her lips twitched with amusement. “Theophilus Thistle, I welcome you to my new realm.”
“Puck misses you. As do I.”
She squeezed his hands. “He is still with you?”
“Yes. He reminds me of you. He stays in the house with me most of the time.”
“And eats your food, if Mme. Desmarais is to be believed! And are you well, and your family?”
Darcy nodded. “We are all in good health. Georgiana wanted to come with me today, but I thought all the uniforms would upset her.” And the last thing he wanted was Georgiana aboard a French warship.
“Pray tell her my thoughts are with her.” Elizabeth loosened her grip on his hands. “Come, let us sit on that bench by the rail. I want to hear everything that has happened.”
“Very well.” But Darcy only released one of her hands. He did not care how improper it looked. Her touch was a lifeline to him. “Did they tell you I was coming today?”
“No, but I am so glad of it!” Her eyes searched his face. “You have lost weight. Mme. Demarais was correct.”
“A little. But I am eating more, if for no other reason than that General Desmarais said I would not be allowed to visit you if I did not.”
Elizabeth lowered her voice. “I assume he was responsible for the change in my sentence?”
“Yes. But I do not know what happened between your arrest and your release, and I pray you will tell me so I can stop imagining every possible horror that might have occurred.” He held his breath. Terrible things happened in the London gaols.
Her eyes clouded over as if she were in pain. “I should have known you would fret. I assume Georgiana has told you about the arrest? After General Desmarais took her away, the rest of us were put in a cell in Newgate. They are every bit as disgusting as everyone says, but I was too busy caring for Andrew to mind.” Her expression grew somber. “He had taken arsenic as soon as he saw we were to be arrested. He said he was a terrible coward when it came to pain, and he knew too many secrets. He was very brave, and seemed at peace with his choice, but he suffered greatly.”
Darcy could do no more than press her hand. “I am sorry.” And Kit carried arsenic, too.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. “General Desmarais came to interview me then, and I am afraid I said a great many unpleasant things to him, including that I had duped you.”
“He told me. I knew why you must have said it.”
“Later I was put in a cleaner cell by myself. They said it was at General Desmarais's orders. Having just confessed to treason five times over, I was grateful for that consideration. Then it was merely dullness for days until I went before the tribunal to be sentenced. I was waiting my turn at the gallows when Colonel Hulot took me away and brought me here.” She shivered.
“Your treatment here – how is it?” He had to know everything she suffered.
“We are treated well. We can walk on the quarter deck when the weather permits. It allows me some exercise, even as the days become cooler. One of the other ladies has become a good friend – that one over there, the beautiful one with the red hair. She is the wife of—”
“No names,” the lieutenant said sharply.
Elizabeth sighed. “In any case, I like her very much. And two of the other ladies were taken off the ship a few days ago, and that gave me hope that someday it might be my turn.”
“Truly?” It was the best news he had heard in years.
“Truly, though I do not know why they were released. And thank you for sending me books; I have enjoyed reading them.”
An ensign approached them and bowed. “The magistrate wishes to know if you will require his services.”
Elizabeth looked quizzical. “You brought a magistrate?”
“I will need a few minutes first,” Darcy told the ensign, suddenly anxious. He turned his body to face Elizabeth, cradling her hand between both of his. For a moment he studied their entwined hands, then looked up at her. Would she be unhappy about his presumption? “This may seem very abrupt, but I do not know when I will be permitted to visit you again. I would like to marry you. Now. Today.”
Her lips parted and she searched his face. “Now? Would you not prefer a wife who is free to live with you?”
He touched her lips with one fingertip, a stolen pleasure. Pitching his voice low, he said, “If you are my wife, it makes you a more valuable hostage and encourages the French to keep you alive. At the moment, their belief that you are important to me rests solely on Desmarais's word, and if anyone thought I had lost interest in you... I do not even wish to think about it. And...”
“And?” she echoed.
He tightened his hold on her hand. If only he could take her in his arms! But he had to convince her with his words and nothing else, and pretty words had never come easily to him. “It makes no difference that I cannot live with you since I will never marry another woman while you live, or even after. From the first time I saw you enthroned in the bluebells, you have been the only woman for me. If I never saw you again, that would not change. By giving you my name, I can make you safer, but it will also give me happiness and peace to know you are my wife. My dearest Elizabeth, I beg you to grant me the privilege of being your husband.”
Her eyes were suspiciously shiny, but she did not look unhappy. “I hardly know what to say. If you are certain this is what you want and that it is for the best, I do not wish to waste any of our precious time together discussing the advantages and disadvantages. I will take your word for it. I do not understand how you have arranged it, but my heart has been yours for months, and now you may have my hand.” She raised the
ir joined hands, smiling tremulously.
Joy spread in him until he could feel it even in his skin. “Thank you,” he said softly, pressing his lips against the back of her hand. “It must be a civil ceremony, in keeping with French law, but I hope someday we can celebrate it in church in the English manner.” He waved to the ensign to fetch the magistrate.
She tightened her grip on his hands. “French or English, it does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you wish to marry me.”
There was some sort of commotion on the main deck, but Darcy did not care, not when he could stare into Elizabeth’s fine eyes.
“Mon Dieu!” said the lieutenant, snapping to attention.
Elizabeth appeared equally oblivious. “Does your family know you planned this?”
“My aunt. She signed the papers on your behalf, now that Desmarais made her your legal guardian. I also told our friend, Mr. Gracechurch.” He shaped the words ‘your uncle’ silently with his lips. “And Desmarais knows since I needed his permission to bring the magistrate. I thought it safest to say nothing to Georgiana, especially since I did not know if you would agree.”
“And if you had told her, she would have wished to attend. I hope she has not taken my absence too badly.”
“No worse than I have, my love.” How freeing it was to say the words!
Elizabeth blinked rapidly. “I have missed you so. In my cell, I spent hours thinking of all the things I wished I had told you when I still had the chance. My pride seemed a foolish thing in hindsight.” She straightened suddenly, staring beyond him. “Were you expecting company?”
Darcy followed her gaze and laughed. Nothing could upset him, not now, not even one of Desmarais’s little tricks. For a group of three people stood there: Desmarais himself, his wife and an older man who looked somehow familiar. “Not at all. I did not realize we would be making a party of it,” he said to Elizabeth.
Mme. Desmarais approached them, her husband standing a few paces back. “Miss Gardiner, I hope you will forgive this terrible presumption. I cannot imagine you have fond feelings towards my husband, but our sons did not live long enough to marry, and it would mean a great deal to us if you permitted him to be present today for Darcy’s wedding. Of course, if you object, we will respect your decision. It is your wedding, after all.”
Conceit & Concealment: A Pride & Prejudice Variation Page 28