by Grace James
Connor was somewhat of an Abandoned Building Expert. Whether it was down to a miss-spent youth or an exposed brick fetish I don’t know – although I’d have put money on the former – but he always managed to take me somewhere unique and interesting. And sometimes a little creepy. We ended up in an abandoned theatre one time and all I could think about was that we were going to be murdered by the Phantom of the Opera. But mostly, he took me places with great rooftop views. He loved to be up high. He visibly relaxed with the sky soaring above him and a hellish drop below him.
Our dates weren’t always crazy exciting though; sometimes they were thoughtful and sweet.
And that’s what sealed the deal.
About a month after we started dating, Connor appeared outside of my apartment, out of the blue, at around 10PM one night. I was just about to get into my pajamas and go to bed when I heard his distinctive rapping on the door. I swung it open to see him standing there with a cigarette in his mouth and a grin on his face.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought you were going out with the guys.”
“I did. But then we walked past that theatre that always shows the old movies, guess what they’re showing tonight?”
“What?”
“A Tarantino double feature. Guess which movies.”
“True Romance and Reservoir Dogs?! Or, wait, no, Pulp Fiction? No! Jackie Brown?!” I was almost shouting with excitement. I had them all on DVD but I had always wanted to see them in a proper movie theatre.
He laughed at my reaction. “You were right with the first two. Wanna go?”
“Hell yes I wanna go!” I squealed.
Half an hour later we were cuddled up in the dark sharing a bucket of popcorn watching Mr. Brown explain what Madonna’s Like a Virgin is really about. When True Romance came on right after and Hans Zimmer’s You’re So Cool played over the images of the Detroit skyline, I squeaked with excitement. Maybe I was easily pleased, but to me it was the best night at the movies ever.
“That was amazing!” I exclaimed to Connor when we emerged from the theatre back into the night.
“Yeah it was pretty cool,” he agreed.
“Pretty cool?! Oh, come on! It was awesome!”
He laughed and slipped a hand around my waist, spinning me to face him. His lips met mine a moment later in a deep kiss. “You’re cute when you’re excited,” he breathed against my lips.
I linked my hands around his neck and moved onto my tiptoes to kiss him back. “I think you’re the cute one. Thank you for skipping guys night to bring me here.”
“What can I say? Love me some Tarantino.”
I giggled as he brought his lips to mine again and pulled me against him so that I could feel every taut muscle in his chest and arms. When we came up for air a few minutes later, I was gasping with more than lack of oxygen. “Connor,” I breathed. “I think – I think I’m ready.”
I didn’t need to explain what I meant. He knew. His nostrils flared as he looked intently down at me. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“There’s a motel near here, it’s not fancy, but –”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care.”
23
We checked in at the Paradise Motel. It was all flickering neon signs and peeling wallpaper, but the room was clean and the bed linen was fresh.
At the sight of the bed, I suddenly felt apprehensive. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sleep with him – I really wanted to sleep with him – it was that I knew he was experienced and I wasn’t sure how I was going to measure up.
But then Connor’s arms were around me and his lips were on mine. His kiss was dizzying – sensuous and slow one second and then passionate and hungry the next. His tongue tangled with mine like he wanted to taste every inch of my mouth, like he couldn’t get enough. He alternated between passionately kissing me and then nibbling on my lips, sucking and biting them before running his tongue over them.
The world shrank to that one room.
That one kiss.
Time seemed to stop.
I felt his hands slide down my back until they were cupping my behind, pulling me against him. I put my arms around his waist, gripping his belt tightly, wanting to explore, to pull his clothes away, but unsure how to start.
Connor broke the kiss and brushed his nose against mine, smiling down at me.
“Why did you stop?” I gasped.
“I’m not stopping,” he kissed my cheek. “Just checking you’re sure.” He searched my eyes earnestly. “Are you?”
“Yes, really sure.”
“Thank God,” he sighed, his relief evident. I giggled as he leant back in, pressing his mouth to my neck and then skimming soft butterfly kisses down over my collarbone until his mouth reached the neckline of my shirt, and the fabric forced him to stop his descent. He straightened up, his eyes meeting mine as he pulled it up and over my head, exposing my white lace bra.
“Jesus,” he murmured, his eyes skimming over me. “You’re beautiful.”
Then his hands were on my breasts, long fingers pulling aside the cups of my bra, exposing my nipples. He bent his head and licked them both, one after the other – then blew on them, forcing them into tight peaks. I let out a little gasp, anticipation making me arch my back so that my breasts were jutting towards him.
There was a look of hunger in his eyes as he lowered his head and brought his mouth to my left breast, circling my nipple with his tongue before he closed his mouth over it completely and sucked.
I moaned and lifted my hands, running them through his thick hair, pulling his head towards me.
He kissed across my sternum to my right breast where his mouth repeated the same sweet torture while he caressed my left nipple between his forefinger and thumb. His other hand went around my back and, with a practiced movement, unclasped my bra with a tweak of his fingers before pulling it away and tossing it to the floor. He palmed both my breasts, pushing them up and together, creating some killer cleavage I didn’t know I had.
“Jesus, they’re amazing.” I couldn’t help giggling at his compliment. “Seriously, can I take a picture?”
“Connor! No!” I squeaked.
“Kidding, kidding! Sort of…” He grinned at me and took my hand, tugging me towards the bed. He climbed on and pulled me down after him. We lay on our sides, facing each other, and he stared at me for a long moment before pushing my hair back, exposing my neck and shoulder. He ran his hands over me, caressing my cheek and neck. As his hand brushed over me, I felt the callous on his palm, at the base of his fingers, where his drumsticks had rubbed his skin hard. He leant in to kiss me again as his hand ran over my chest, squeezing and stroking my breasts. Soon, he trailed his hot mouth downwards again, teasing my nipples with his tongue and lightly pinching them between his teeth.
He pushed me gently onto my back to allow him better access, and then lavished me with attention. He moved his mouth constantly, first to one breast, then the other. Every suck, every tweak, sent sparks sizzling to my core. A hungry ache was building inside of me.
“Connor,” I sighed.
“Does this feel good?” he murmured against my flesh.
“Yes, so good.”
“You want me to keep going?” He started kissing down my stomach, stopping only to circle my belly button with his tongue.
“Yes,” I gasped as anticipation thrilled through me.
He unbuttoned my jeans and peeled them away, throwing them across the room, his gaze immediately finding my white lace panties. He licked his lips and the hunger on his face made me quiver.
Then he moved over me, putting his lips back to my belly, just under my belly button. Slowly, so slowly, he trailed gentle kisses downwards until he reached the top of my panties. I gasped as he hooked his fingers in the top and started to pull them down.
His eyes met mine. “Just relax,” he said softly.
I nodded, keeping my eyes locked with his as he pulled my panti
es all the way down and over my feet, then they too were tossed across the room. He gently pushed my legs apart and lowered himself between them, staring into my eyes the whole time.
“Relax,” he said again, before he dipped his head, his lips returning to their spot just above my pubic bone. It was like he didn’t want to skip ahead; after every item of clothing he removed, he went back to kissing me just where he had left off.
He kissed along my lower belly, from hip to hip, making me squirm under him as his soft lips skimmed my sensitive flesh.
Then he stopped his descent, grinning as he moved his head back up my body to my breasts. I felt a moment of disappointment – and then his mouth closed over my left nipple, sucking and pulling. I moaned and clutched at the sheets, bunching them in my hands.
I felt his hand on my inner thigh, stroking up my leg towards my sex. His fingers reached my groin and stopped short. His mouth released my nipple and he raised his head to look at me, a silent question in his eyes.
“Don’t stop.” I said breathlessly.
His mouth met mine in a fiery kiss. As our lips met, he finally skimmed his fingers over my lower lips, enticing a moan from my mouth – a moan that he swallowed with his eager lips before moving quickly down my body to settle between my spread thighs. As he did so, I became suddenly conscious of the fact that he was still fully dressed while I was completely naked.
Then his tongue swept over my swollen lips and all rational thought left my head.
He licked me from bottom to top, then back down again, burrowing his tongue into my folds as he went. When he reached my opening, he swirled his tongue around, just inside, then licked upwards again to repeat the swirling motion over my clit.
My breathing was ragged as he explored me, running his tongue over every part of my sex. The delicious ache in my core was thrumming and a feeling of desperation was building. I needed more.
“Connor,” I moaned, squeezing the sheets in a death grip.
He tempered his explorations and brought his hot mouth to my clit, focusing his attentions there; swirling his tongue, then sucking gently. I bucked my hips and moaned. His hands tightened on my hips, holding me in place as he licked and sucked me into bliss.
My body went rigid as the orgasm crashed through me, sending tingles to my toes and fingers and ripping a high whimper from my throat. He kept sucking as I came; only releasing me when I went limp under him.
As I floated back to earth, I felt warm kisses on my thighs and opened my eyes, looking down to see Connor grinning up at me. When he dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, wiping away my juices, I put my hands over my face and groaned with embarrassment.
I heard him chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s hot.” I felt him drop a kiss just above my pubic bone. Then the bed bounced slightly and I dropped my hands in surprise, only to see Connor standing up, removing his clothes like they were burning him and flinging them away like they were on fire.
I propped myself up on my elbows, letting my eyes slide over his body. He was all clean lines and athletic muscle; completely defined without being bulky. There was a scattering of hair over his chest and a dark golden happy trail leading from his belly button to the top of his boxers. He saw me checking him out and watching me intently while he lowered his black boxers.
His cock sprang forward, long and pink and hard. It hypnotized me, intimidating and enticing all at once.
He fished a condom from his wallet and climbed back on the bed, moving back between my thighs, leaning over to give my sex a final long, wet lick before tearing open the condom packet and sheathing himself.
He settled over me, looking into my eyes as I felt the tip of his cock touch my entrance. My breathing quickened and I put my arms around his back, my hands finally touching his hot flesh. His muscles rippled under my fingers as he pushed his cock into me slowly, just a couple of inches, before withdrawing. He kissed me, hot and hard and I felt his need through his kiss, the hunger that he was keeping in check. He thrust forwards again slowly, entering me further this time, and a groan escaped his lips.
I was so ready for him, already swollen and sensitive from my orgasm, and I wanted him inside me completely.
“Connor,” I whispered. “Don’t hold back, I’m ready.”
He groaned into my mouth again and thrust forward more quickly. I felt pain, but pleasure too, both sensations simultaneously pulsed inside me, but the pain faded, leaving only a thrumming pleasure. I clutched his back, arching myself against him, moaning into his mouth as his pace quickened.
He dropped his head in to the crook of my neck as he thrust his hips forwards, groaning into my ear. The sound of his pleasure increased my own and I felt my inner muscles flutter around his cock.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him into me, wanting him inside as far as he could go. I felt tingles spreading out from my core and knew I was close.
“Oh God, Connor!”
He hissed through his teeth. His shoulders bunched as he redoubled his pace. His eyes met mine and I saw them glaze over. The pleasure on his face pushed me into the abyss and I cried out as I came. I milked him as his own release crested and his groans escaped through gritted teeth.
We lay there, with him still inside me, and stared at each other through our post-sex haze. His eyes were locked on mine and it seemed as though he was really seeing me for the first time.
I wanted it to last forever.
“Are you okay?” he asked, breaking the spell.
A lazy smile spread across my face. “More than okay, that was…amazing.”
He nuzzled my nose with his. “Yeah, it was.” He kissed me slowly, and then gently pulled out of me and went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I followed him in a few minutes later and cleaned up. He waited for me and, when we were done, he dropped a kiss to my shoulder and took my hand, pulling me back towards the bed. We climbed under the covers together and he lay on his back and pulled me to him, so that I was curled against his side. I breathed him in, basking in the scent of him, luxuriating in the feel of his skin against mine as he held me close.
24
I was just starting to drift off to sleep when the ringing of a cell phone split the silence. Connor groaned but eased his shoulder out from under me and leant down off of the bed, pulling his jeans from the floor and snagging his phone from the pocket. He looked at the screen and frowned.
His voice was sharp when he answered, “Yeah?”
I couldn’t hear specific words, but I could hear a raised voice, shrill and overwrought, on the other end of the line. It sounded like a woman’s voice. Connor sighed and sat up fully in the bed, looking down at me with regret in his eyes. I looked up at him questioningly, with a sinking feeling growing in my stomach.
Connor shook his head and turned away from me, swinging his legs round and lowering his feet to the floor. I was left staring at his back. I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat.
“What do you mean gone?” Connor snapped into the phone. “When did he leave? . . . How can you not know? . . . Fine, fine, whatever, did you call Joey’s house? . . . Did you . . . Okay! Jesus! . . . Alright . . . I’m coming . . . I said I’m coming . . . NO! Stay there – stay there or I fucking swear to God I’ll –” I heard the drone of the disconnect tone. Connor pulled the phone from his ear and grasped it tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.
Then he swiped and tapped the screen of his phone a few times, his movements sharp and tense, before putting the phone back to his ear.
“Blake, I need you to come get me . . . No, no, listen . . . Shut up, man, listen, it’s Jace, he took off again . . . Yeah, I’m at the Paradise Motel . . . Shut up, just come get me . . . Okay, yeah . . . I’ll be out front.”
He hung up and took a deep breath before he turned back to me. His eyes were troubled and angry. Really angry. His face was all hard angles; his mouth was a tight line.
I had never seen him look that way before.
When he reached out and stroked my face tenderly with the back of his fingers, his gentle action was in such stark contrast to the expression on his face that I almost pulled away.
He frowned and dropped his hand. “I’m sorry, Amy, but I have to go.”
I nodded dumbly, not trusting myself to speak, fighting back the sting in my eyes. He was going to leave me in this motel alone after we just slept together for the first time..?
“Where are you going?” I asked quietly.
“It’s family stuff,” he said darkly.
“Can I do any– ”
“No,” he cut me off. “Blake’s coming to get me, but this place is paid up ‘til the morning, I’ll come back, okay?”
I nodded again, biting my lip. He sighed heavily and his mouth worked, as if he was going to say more, then he abruptly stood and grabbed his clothes, tugging them on roughly.
When he was dressed, he leant over and pecked a quick kiss to my forehead. “Sorry,” he said again. “Get some sleep. I’ll be back before you wake up.” He turned and hurried to the door.
Then he was gone.
I closed my eyes and told myself to go to sleep. But really, I was fighting the tears that were trying to break free.
It had been so perfect – everything that I had hoped it would be.
But then he left me.
I kept telling myself that I was overreacting, that he had to go. He wouldn’t have just taken off if it wasn’t urgent. I could tell by his reaction to the phone call that something was very wrong.
I lay there, fighting tears, telling myself to sleep – but of course sleep eluded me.
And he didn’t come back.
25
As the first light of dawn crept through the thin drapes, I finally admitted defeat and walked home from the motel. I’d thought about calling Mel to pick me up, but I hadn’t wanted to endure her questions. So, I walked home, showered, went to class and tried not to think about Connor.