by Grace James
“Blake –”
“Just let me finish. I’m going on tour in a week and I’ll be away for months, and more than anything I just want to spend some time with you before I go. And if we just spend time together as friends, then I’ll take that, because what’s really important to me is being with you. So I swear, hand on heart, that I won’t pressure you for anything else, I won’t expect anything else from you. Just come with me as a friend, because if friendship is all I can have from you, then okay, I’ll live with that – but I need at least that.”
I felt like I was about to cry, his words were so sincere. But I had to be clear. “No pressure? No expectations?”
He raised one hand, palm facing outwards. “None, Scout’s honor.”
“You were in Scouts?” I asked dubiously.
He shrugged and grinned. “I went once,” he said; then he stepped back and dropped his hand. “Nothing has to happen unless you want it to, I swear.”
I bit my lip again and his eyes instantly snapped down to my mouth. I realized that it probably looked a little suggestive, especially since I was almost naked under my robe. I forced myself to stop. “And if I don’t want anything to happen, you’ll just be okay with that?”
“Yes,” he said firmly.
I knew I should probably say ‘no’, going away with Blake so soon after breaking up with Connor didn’t seem right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to refuse him. “…okay.”
He broke into a huge smile. “Is that a ‘yes’?”
“Yes.”
“Hell, yes!” His face split into a wide grin.
I smiled at his reaction. “Just let me get dressed.”
“Okay,” he said as he started to follow me into my room.
“Blake! You said –”
He burst out laughing and started backing away, palms raised as if I’d pulled a gun on him. “Okay, it was a joke! I’ll turn around.”
“You’ll wait outside!”
He pouted comically. “Aw, c’mon...”
“Out!”
He tried puppy dog eyes. “You’re really mean, y'know?”
I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest, tapping one foot impatiently. He relented and went to wait in the living room, still chuckling.
Less than an hour later we were climbing into his Chevy and heading out of the city.
82
Not long after we passed the city limits, we stopped for lunch at a family run diner simply called Ally’s. It looked like a cross between a coffee shop and a bar inside – quaint and rustic with a kind of dive bar edge.
“They do Open Mic nights here sometimes,” Blake said. “I used to play them all the time before I got really busy with the band. Also – best Sloppy Joe EVER.”
We got situated in a booth next to the window with a view of the highway and the mountains climbing up into the distance. It was instantly relaxing.
“Hey, if it isn’t the love of my life!” A husky, female voice drew my attention away from the view. I turned to see an older woman, maybe in her late forties or early fifties, dark skinned and covered almost from head to toe in colorful tattoos. She was smiling down at Blake. “Where’ve you been? It’s been lonely around here without you.”
Blake stood up and enveloped her in a bear hug. “Ally, darlin’, you know I missed you too.”
“Yeah, yeah, keep feeding me those lines, honey.” She kissed him on the cheek, but despite her earlier words the kiss seemed more maternal than anything else. As she stepped back, she cocked her head at me. “Who’s this beauty?”
Blake lowered himself back down into the booth and grinned at me. “Ally, this is my friend Amy.”
Ally raised her eyebrows curiously at me and held out her hand, which I shook. “Nice to meet a friend of Blake’s, I was startin’ to think he didn’t have any.”
I shot Blake a curious look. He just smiled at me and shrugged.
Ally turned back to Blake again. “You headin’ up to the cabin?”
“Yeah, just for the night.”
“Well, I never thought I’d see the day,” she murmured. I wondered what she meant by that, but before I could say anything she grinned conspiratorially at me. “I’ve known this one since he was a little boy, the stories I could tell you…”
“Really?” I asked, going along with her teasing. “Like what?”
“Well, there’s one that really sticks at the forefront of my mind. He was around six years old at the time, and he came runnin’ in here like a bat out of hell, all over excited to show me his new costume – he was really into superheroes for a while there – and he was wearin’ this red, homemade costume with a little round cosmetic mirror stuck –”
“Ally –” Blake’s deep voice rumbled in warning.
“Do you mind?” I said. “Ally’s telling me a story.”
“Yeah, zip it sweetie,” Ally said to him sharply.
Blake tried to look annoyed, but I could tell he was trying to hide a smile.
Ally looked back at me. “Anyway, like I was sayin’, he had on this red costume with a little round mirror stuck to the front and he’s shoutin’ ‘Ally! Look! Look! Got an Ironing Man costume, he’s a super hero! He does all the ironing!’” She let out a loud cackle and socked Blake on the shoulder. “You were the cutest damn thing!”
I burst out laughing. “You – you thought Iron Man was Ironing Man?!”
Blake shot Ally a deadly look out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, for like, a week – then I figured it out.”
I was still chuckling, even after Ally took our order and walked away. “So who did you think Superman was?” I asked.
He shook his head, trying to hide his grin. “I knew he was Superman –”
“What about Spiderman or Batman or – wait – The Flash must have really thrown you.” I looked at him with mock concern.
He snorted a laugh. “No. It was just Iron Man –”
I nodded sympathetically. “Easy mistake to make.”
“No one explained it to me –” he paused as I dissolved into another fit of giggles. “Know what – never mind. Whatever.”
“Aww, come on, don’t sulk,” I teased. “I promise I won’t laugh at you anymore.” It was a lie. I couldn’t help asking him about The Green Lantern, at which point he refused to talk to me until Ally brought over our food. We had both ordered Sloppy Joes and Blake was right, it was the best I’d ever eaten.
“Ally, that was incredible,” I said when she came back to clear our plates.
“Thanks, honey.” She smiled at me.
Blake insisted on getting the check, despite my objections that we should at least split it, and then we said our goodbyes. When we stood up from the booth Ally pulled Blake into a tight hug. “Have fun up there honey,” she said as she smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek again.
“We plan to,” he replied, winking at me over the top of her head.
“I’ll bet you do.”
I felt my cheeks heat at the implication and shot Blake a death glare; he just looked back at me all innocent like, Hey, I can’t control what she thinks.
Then Ally pulled me into an unexpected hug. When she pulled back she looked at me, suddenly serious. “Don’t you break his heart honey, he’s not as tough as he looks.”
That was the last thing I expected her – or anyone else, for that matter – to say about Blake, of all people. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked between her and him.
Blake closed his eyes briefly and let out a groan like he couldn’t believe she’d actually just said that.
Ally just let out a low cackle at his reaction, her good humor returning instantly.
83
We walked most of the way across the parking lot to the truck in silence, though I kept stealing furtive glances out of the corner of my eye at Blake as we went.
“Just say it,” Blake eventually said on a sigh, like he was incredibly put upon.
“Say what?” I asked, feigning complete innocence.
He opened the passenger side door for me. “I know you’re dying to say something, so just go ahead and say it.”
I frowned like I was completely confused. “What do you think I’m going say exactly?”
He rolled his eyes and walked around the truck and climbed into the driver’s seat. He glanced at me as he started up the engine.
I kept my mask of innocent confusion in place.
He pursed his lips like he was pissed, but trying not to smile at the same time. “Well?”
“Well what? You haven’t told me what I’m supposed to be saying yet.”
He shook his head. “You make me crazy.”
“Aww, and here was me thinking you were tough.”
He turned to glare at me, pointing a finger at my face. “There! Right there! I knew you couldn’t resist it!”
I burst into laughter at his outrage.
He wheel spun us out of the parking lot like he was oh-so-angry but that just made me laugh even harder. After a second he was chuckling despite himself.
I decided to cut him some slack and change the subject. “So, what’s it like to be unemployed?” I asked with only a slightly teasingly tone to my voice. He and the other guys had all finished up at their day jobs the week before, ready for the tour.
Blake’s face split into a wide grin. “Fucking amazing!”
“You deserve to finally be able to just focus on the band. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone work as many hours as you guys have been. Working two jobs like that would kill me – but I guess that’s the side that people don’t see when they’re buying albums and concert tickets.”
“By the time enough people are actually buying your albums and tickets, that shit is usually already done with.”
“Your EP is already selling well though,” I pointed out. I’d heard the exact figures from Derren only a few days before – they had released it through iTunes and Amazon as well as selling CD copies at shows.
“It’s selling well for an EP by a mostly unknown band from the ass end of Vegas – but when we record a full album, and that bitch goes platinum, then I’ll fucking celebrate.” He grinned at me. “Then we’ll go large in the fucking Bellagio.”
“When are you recording the album?” I asked, smiling at his enthusiasm.
“As soon as we get back off tour, so I’ll probably be writing the whole time we’re away.”
“You don’t have enough songs already?”
“Yeah we do, but I want them to be better. Some of our older songs aren’t good enough – and besides, I want a choice. I don’t want to have to put a song on the album that I’m not one hundred percent happy with ‘cause that’s all we got, I want to be able to just pick the best.”
“You want to be able to pick or the band wants to be able to pick?” I asked, smirking.
“The band…” he shot me a look. “Okay, I want to pick.”
“And they’ll just let you?”
“Kane will. Derren’ll have his own ideas already, and Connor’ll put up a fight just for the sake of it –” he broke off, as if he just realized what he said, who’s name he’d just dropped, and I saw him wince just the slightest bit.
The mention of Connor’s name sent a stab of guilt to my gut. I had to look away from Blake, out of the passenger side window. For the past couple of hours, everything had felt almost normal; like we were just regular friends on a quasi-date which may or may not go further. All of that came crashing down with one single word: Connor.
I tried to focus on the scenery. We were in the mountains by then and there were tall aspen and maple trees on either side of us, their shadows dappling the road as we sped by.
After a while, Blake spoke. “Freaking out yet, Princess?”
“No,” I said quietly and not at all convincingly.
“You don’t need to freak out.”
“I told you I’m not.”
“Okay. But if you were...don’t.”
I bit my lip and frowned. I was freaking out, clearly.
Eventually I turned to him. “Are you freaking out?” I asked.
He cocked an eyebrow at me like, Really?
“Of course not,” I said dryly. “You don’t have the capacity.”
Blake looked back at the road. “Do you want to get back together with him?” he asked, his voice a tight.
“No,” I said honestly.
He visibly relaxed when he heard that.
“But…don’t you feel even a tiny bit guilty?” I asked. It came out sounding a little accusatory when I’d only meant to sound curious.
He sighed and I saw his hands tighten their hold on the steering wheel. “I’m not an idiot, Princess. I know I’m breaking all kinds of ‘guy codes’ here, but you just said yourself that you don’t want to be with him.” He glanced at me. “You remember what I said earlier?”
I nodded silently.
“I meant it. I won’t ask you for anything you’re not willing to give. Just…cut yourself some slack, okay?”
84
The road started to climb into the foothills and before long we had turned off the main highway and were winding our way through the mountains, passing a series of cabins of various sizes, all nestled within the trees.
Eventually, Blake guided the pickup onto a smaller road, more like a dirt track really, that swung us round a dramatic cliff face. After another few minutes on that road we came upon a small log cabin, surrounded by large trees, which had been built close to a face of rock.
Blake parked outside the cabin and I stared out of the window at the tiny structure. It was incredibly picturesque in a run down, rustic kind of way; it looked like the kind of house that you’d see in a Western. Dark, weathered wood; a deck out front surrounded by a handrail – the kind that you would imagine cowboys tethering horses to – and a couple of low, wide steps which led up to the front door. The front door was in the middle of the cabin as you looked at it from the front, with a small perfectly square window on either side of it.
“What do you think?” Blake asked.
I turned to look at him. “I love it,” I breathed. “It’s so cute.”
He broke into a wide smile. “Knew you’d like it. C’mon, I’ll give you the tour.”
Inside, the cabin was completely open plan, apart from the bathroom which was literally a wooden box set into one of the back corners. There was a little kitchenette to the right of the front door, just big enough to house a wooden table and four chairs. To the left were a couple of recliners, a small couch and a coffee table. There was a double bed in the back corner opposite to the bathroom.
Only one bed.
Only. One. Bed.
Blake must have seen what I was looking at because he moved between me and the bed. “Do you trust me, Princess? ‘Cause if you don’t trust me, I’ll take you back home.” He looked me dead in the eye, and I could see the exasperation that he was trying to hide. “But if you do trust me – then stop worrying, ‘cause I meant what I said. Call bullshit if I’m lying. You know me and if you don’t trust me by now, you never will.”
He wasn’t lying.
I could tell just by looking at him.
At that moment I gave up the fight.
I was alone with him in a beautiful place where no one would disturb us; no one would walk in and look at us like we were doing something wrong; no one would judge us.
Finally, we were free to just be together, to see if what we felt for each other actually had substance or if it was just a case of lusting after a forbidden fruit.
I had wanted him for so long, both subconsciously and consciously…
Would it really be so wrong to just see what could be?
I met his gaze unflinchingly. “I trust you, Blake,” I said, and I meant it.
He grinned. “Well it’s about fuckin’ time.”
85
I freshened up in the bathroom while Blake unloaded the truck. He brought in two bags of groceries, his black duffel bag, my purple over
night bag and his acoustic guitar.
“You brought a lot of food for one night,” I said as I watched him stock the fridge.
“Yeah, well, I know how much you eat.”
“Hey!” I socked him on the arm.
He laughed. “Hey, I never said it was a bad thing, it’s actually one of the things I like best about you.”
“What? The fact that I can eat my own bodyweight in ribs – THAT’S attractive!” I joked.
“It is actually. You don’t get all pissy about calories and shit like most women –”
I felt a warm glow inside at his words.
“– you eat like a dude,” he finished.
“HEY!” I shouted again, launching into another attack on his arm.
He roared with laughter and pretended to cower away from me. “Ow! Ow! Easy Princess – I give in! You win! I’m sorry!”
“You suck!” I half-laughed, half-shouted.
He was still chuckling.
I shot him a stink eye. “So, what now?”
“Now it’s time to go.”
“Go?! Go where?”
“Hiking.”
“You hike?”
“Sure, why not?”
As it turned out, Blake’s version of hiking was walking about a half a mile, until we reached a spot with a ‘killer view’, then he sat on his ‘special rock’ and offered me one of the iced lattes that he had grabbed out of the fridge before we set off.
I planted myself next to him. “This is pretty comfy – for a rock.”
“Right? Told you it was special.” He nodded to the latte. “Nice?”
“Gorgeous…but, just so you know, this does not count as hiking.”
“If you walk on a mountain, it’s called hiking,” he said slowly, like he was explaining the concept of ‘sit, stay’ to an incredibly stupid dog.
I burst out laughing. “Um, no, that’s not how it works.”