Resolve restored, he forced himself to slip the picture back into his wallet and make his way up the drive. A kitchen light was burning and Luc could see Jared, Marisa’s father, puttering around in the kitchen.
He’d always gotten along well with Marisa’s parents because of his friendship with Trey, but he couldn’t imagine he would be a welcome guest tonight, especially not at this hour. But he had come too far to back out now. He had to say what he’ d come here to say and hope that she would listen. He walked up the path to the front door of the sprawling ranch house and knocked softly.
Jared appeared within minutes. He pushed the screen door open. “Trey called, said he thought you might be stopping by tonight.”
“Sorry it’s so late, Jared. Mind if I come in?”
He stepped aside. “You know you’re always welcome here, Luc. Come on in. I was just having a cup of warm milk before I go on up to bed. Why don’t you join me?”
Luc smiled as he followed him to the kitchen. The Turners were good people. They routinely opened their home to stranded strangers, day or night. “Got anything a little stronger? I sure could use it.”
Jared chuckled. “I reckon you could, boy.” He reached down to get a glass out of the cupboard. He opened another cupboard and seized a bottle of scotch. He poured a generous amount into a glass and handed it to Luc. “You know if you have more than one of those, I’m gonna have to insist you take the couch tonight. Can’t let you drive home with any more under your belt.”
Luc smiled and tipped his glass. “Don’t think your wife would appreciate having another mouth to feed in the morning.”
Jared sliced his hand through the air. “Nonsense, you’re one of our own, Luc. You’re family.” He looked him in the eye. “You’re like a brother to my son, and that makes you like a son to me and Elaine. You know that, don’t you?”
Luc closed his eyes. He knew Jared was trying to send him a message. He was letting him know that just because Marisa was marrying another man, that didn’t mean he wasn’t welcome in their home anymore. He had shared holidays and special occasions with the Turners for the past fourteen years. He couldn’t imagine what those dinners would be like if Marisa came with a husband and a couple of kids in tow. It would be torture; he knew he couldn’t do it.
“Have a seat, Luc,” Jared said, pulling a chair out. “I think we need to talk, man to man.”
“Sure.” Luc claimed the seat across from Jared. He respected Marisa’s father more than any man he had ever met, and if he had some wisdom to impart, Luc was more than willing to listen.
“Guess you’re here because of what happened tonight. Am I right?”
Luc nodded. “Yes, sir. Tim came to see me, told me he and Marisa were engaged.”
Jared stared into his glass of milk. “Can’t say I’m all that happy about it, if you wanna know the truth.”
Luc knew Tim’s parents were the Turners’ friends and neighbors. They were cut from the same cloth, shared the same values. “I’m kind of surprised to hear you say that, Jared. I thought you and Elaine would be happy about this.”
Jared looked up and frowned. “Why the hell would you think that? Parents want the best for their children. They don’t want to see them settle.”
“You think that’s what Marisa’s doing?”
“Hell yeah. You’re the man my little girl wants to be with, boy. Anyone with eyes in their head can see that.” He pushed the glass away and propped his elbows on the table. He settled his chin on top of his clasped hands and stared at Luc. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you don’t want her?”
Luc pushed his own glass away and sighed. “I do want her.” He rubbed his eyes. “You think I’d be runnin’ out here in the middle of the night if I didn’t?”
“You just don’t want to marry her, is that it?” His warm eyes turned dark and cold. “She’s good enough to warm your bed but not share your last name?”
Luc had only witnessed Jared’s wrath a few times, and he didn’t relish the thought of being on the receiving end. “I love your daughter, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
“Then what the hell’s the problem?”
Luc sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He would like nothing more than to share his burden with someone, but he couldn’t. His shame was a secret he would take to the grave. “Your daughter deserves a better man than me, sir.”
“I’m not sayin’ I disagree, but it’s you she wants.”
Luc looked up and was grateful to see Jared’s mouth twitch. “I don’t know what the hell to do.”
“I wish I could tell ya what to do, but that has to be your decision.” He stood up and clapped Luc on the back. “Good luck with your decision, son. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
Luc held his hand out. “Thanks. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
Jared accepted his outstretched hand. “Good night, son.” He pointed to the cupboard that housed the scotch. “You help yourself. Just remember what I said about the couch.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Jared looked up, seemingly surprised. “How long you been standin’ there, darlin’?”
Marisa shrugged. “Not long, I couldn’t sleep. I thought I heard voices.”
“Well, I best be gettin’ to bed.” He patted his daughter on the back as he walked past. “Don’t stay up too late now.”
Marisa smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t, Daddy.”
Chapter Four
Marisa stood in the doorway of the kitchen, weighing her options. She could tell him to leave. They’d already said everything last night, but her curiosity outweighed reason. She walked to the counter and set the teapot on the stove to boil. She busied herself preparing a cup of chamomile tea, waiting for him to break the uncomfortable silence. When he said nothing, she turned around to face him. “Okay, are you going to tell me what you’re doing here or do I have to guess?”
He stared into her eyes. “Why are you doing this?” he whispered.
She drew an unsteady breath. She never expected to see him looking so raw, so vulnerable. Luc had earned a well-deserved reputation as a tyrant in this town. Weakness was not a part of his make-up. Yet, here he was, sitting before her, looking like a broken man. “What do you mean?”
His hand shook as he picked up his glass. He set it down without taking a drink. “Why are you marrying him? I know you don’t love him, Marisa.”
She busied herself preparing the tea, stalling for time. How could she refute his words? He was right. She didn’t love Tim, at least not in the way a woman should love a man she planned to stay with for the rest of her life. “Tim is a good man. I have no doubt he’ll make a wonderful husband and father someday.”
Luc scowled. “Yeah, I’m sure he will, as long as he’s someone else’s husband. You don’t belong with him.”
She set her tea down carefully, folding her arms across her chest. “Who the hell are you to tell me who I should marry, Luc?”
He stood up and walked toward her, crowding her until her back was pressed against the hard edge of the granite countertop. He gripped the counter on either side of her, effectively caging her in. As he looked down at her, his eyes tracing her mouth, he asked, “Who am I? I’m the only guy you’ve ever loved. I’m the guy who loves you enough to put your needs first, who spent two years of his life making you happier than you’ve ever been.” He drew a deep, steadying breath. “I’m the guy who’s gonna go on loving you until the day I die. That’s who I am.”
Marisa shuddered as he leaned in to brush his lips across her cheek.
“I’m the guy who’s prepared to get down on his knees right now and beg you not to make the biggest mistake of your life.”
She closed her eyes as he nuzzled her neck, gently kissing the mark he’d left just last night.
He raised her left hand to look at her engagement ring. “You and I both know this doesn’t belong here.” He tapped her chest, just above her left breast. “You f
eel it right here. In your heart, you know this is wrong.”
She swallowed, trying to find her voice. She cleared her throat and said, “No, the only thing I know for sure is that you’re wasting my time. I’ve already wasted years of my life loving you, Luc. Do you want to steal the rest of my life, too?”
He took a step back, staring at her. “Is that how you really feel? You think you wasted your time with me?”
She tried to rally the strength to say what she needed to say, no matter how much it hurt him. She had no idea, until this very minute, that she even had the power to hurt him. “Do you remember the first time my brother brought you home for dinner?”
He shook his head. “Vaguely.”
She closed her eyes, re-living the night in her mind. “I remember everything about it. The shade of shirt you wore was the same shade of blue as your eyes.”
He chuckled. “If you say so.”
“I fell in love with you that night.”
He reached up to stroke her face. “Baby, you were just a kid back then. How old were you, sixteen, seventeen? You didn’t even know what love was.”
“Really?” She pushed him away. “I have something to show you, something that might help you to understand.”
She ran up the stairs to her childhood bedroom at the end of the hall. Everything remained the same as it had been back then, so she knew exactly where to find the item she was looking for. It had been a long time since she’d read it, a long time since she’d been brave enough to face the depth of her feelings for this man. But this was a turning point in her life. If she was going to move on, she had to let go of the past. She carried the pink, leather-bound book under her arm as she descended the stairs. Her heart was hammering in her chest by the time she reached the kitchen and handed him the book.
“What’s this?” he asked.
She thrust the book at him. “Just take it. Read the first page aloud.”
He took the book from her trembling hand and opened it to the first page. He looked at her. “Is this your diary?”
She nodded, feeling the heat creep up her neck and stain her cheeks. She never intended to share this with anyone, least of all him, but he would never understand how much he was hurting her until he understood how much she loved him, how much she’d always loved him. “It’s a journal I started the night I met you. It may seem silly to you, but I knew even then how I felt about you. I may have only been seventeen, but I knew what was in my heart.”
He cleared his throat and opened the journal. He began to read her words back to her.
“I met the most incredible man tonight. I knew I’d saved myself for a reason, instead of indulging in a meaningless backseat romp with some football player, like the rest of my girlfriends have.
Luc’s the man who was destined to be my first and only lover. My challenge will be making him see me as a woman instead of a little girl. He’s older than I am and a friend and business associate of my brother’s, which makes things even more complicated. But no matter how difficult it may be, I’m committed to making this man want me as much as I want him.
I know I’ll be reading this someday, looking back on the amazing life Luc and I had together and thanking God that I trusted my instincts about this man because I have no doubt that he is my soul mate.”
Luc’s voice shook as he read the last words. He sunk into the kitchen chair, setting the book on the table. “Jesus, I can’t believe you felt that way about me way back then. I knew you had a crush on me, but...”
She claimed the chair across from him. “It was so much more than that, Luc. I’ve been so damn frustrated as I tried to talk myself out of it so many times over the years. I wanted to believe it was just a silly little infatuation. I thought when I went to away to college I’d start dating and I’d forget all about you.”
He looked up. “Did you?”
She shook her head. “I only wish. I dated, a lot, but I couldn’t wait to come home so I could see you again.”
He smiled and reached across the table to take her hand. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.” He kissed the back of her hand. “If I’d known...”
She pulled her hand away. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. You weren’t ready to take me seriously. You didn’t start seeing me as a woman instead of a little girl until I graduated and came back home to live.”
He rolled his eyes. “Believe me, I started seeing you as a woman long before that, but you were my best friend’s little sister and he told me if I laid a finger on you, he’d kick my ass.”
She sighed. “I figured as much. So, what changed your mind?”
He chuckled. “You in that black dress on New Year’s eve. Do you remember?”
She shook her head. She’d spent weeks shopping for the perfect dress. She wanted it to be sexy and daring so he would have no choice but to notice her. It worked. He noticed her, and so did every other man in the club.
“Every guy in the place wanted to take you home that night.”
“But you took me home,” she whispered.
He laughed. “Just wish I could remember more of it. I’d had too much to drink. You had to drive me home, remember?”
“I remember everything about that night, Luc.” She looked him in the eye. “A girl never forgets her first time.”
He stared at her, shocked. “Are you serious? That night was your first time?”
She shook her head, looking down at her clasped hands. “Like I said, I wanted you to be my first. I didn’t want to have any regrets, so I waited until you were ready.”
He got off his chair and knelt down in front of her. “I’m sorry, baby. I had no idea. There wasn’t any...”
“I’d been riding horses all my life, Luc. Besides, you were too drunk to take notice of anything that night.”
He dropped his chin to his chest and closed his eyes. “Why would you let me make love to you when I was in that state, sweetheart? Your first time should have been special. It should have been memorable.”
“It was for me. You may not remember what happened that night, but I remember every detail.”
“But the other day in the hospital, Lexi said that Tim was your first.”
“Lexi assumed that Tim was my first lover. I didn’t have the chance to correct her before you came up and started asking questions.”
He cupped her face in his hand. “I’m so glad I was your first, baby.”
She stared at him, trying to decide how much to reveal. “You’re not only my first; you’ve been my only lover, Luc.”
He grabbed the table and sat back on his haunches. “What the hell are you talking about? You and Mitchell shared a suite when we were in Barbados for Josh and Lexi’s wedding.”
“Yeah, it was a suite with two beds.”
He slid his hands up her thighs. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, Marisa. I was goin’ outta my mind thinking about you and him...”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen, Luc. We are engaged, remember?”
He got up and grabbed another chair, turning it around so he could straddle it while he faced her. “So why hasn’t it happened yet?”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Luc was the last person she wanted to talk to about her sex life, or lack thereof. “I wanted to wait until the time was right, until we were both ready.”
His eyes skimmed her body. “Honey, if he hasn’t been ready, then I suggest he make sure his equipment is in working order.”
She felt her cheeks burning. “I didn’t say that he couldn’t or he didn’t want to.”
“So you’re the one who wanted to wait? Now why is that?”
She knew what he was getting at, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of admitting he was the reason she and Tim had never made love. “I don’t jump into bed with just anyone, Luc. You should know that.”
“The fact that you’re havin’ these doubts should tell you somethin’, darlin’. He’s not the man for you.”
He grinned. “Me, of course.” He reached across the table and snagged her book. “You said it yourself.
It’s right here in black and white.”
“I showed you that so you’d understand what you’re putting me through by refusing to let me go, not so you could throw my own words back in my face.”
He tightened his grip on the book. “Is that how you see it? I don’t wanna let you go because I love you, Marisa.”
“If you love me, prove it,” she whispered. “Give me your blessing.”
He stared at her for a long moment before standing up. He tucked his chair into the table and handed her the book. “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna give this marriage my blessing.” He sighed. “But I won’t stand in your way anymore. If this is what you want, have at it.”
Chapter Five
Luc and Avery claimed a booth near the stage at Jimmy’s bar. He’d talked her into coming with him tonight to see a performer who’d piqued his interest, Ty McCall. The guy had the makings of a country superstar. He was good-looking, charismatic, and a talented singer/songwriter. But before he committed to signing him, he needed a second opinion.
For the first time in his career, he didn’t trust his own judgment. He hadn’t been able to focus on anything in the week since he’d learned about Marisa’s engagement to the rancher, and he couldn’t afford to make a mistake when his reputation and millions of dollars were at stake.
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