“We’ve got all the time in the world.” He reached for the door handle. “Let’s go inside. This car wasn’t made for what I have in mind.”
She grinned. “You worried about staining this expensive leather upholstery?”
“Hell no, I’m worried about hurting you.”
She stilled his hand when he would have pushed the door open. “Can you promise you’ll never hurt me again, Luc?”
He saw the fear in her eyes and it broke his heart. She had every reason to doubt him, to question his sincerity, and he wished he could find the words to put her mind at ease, but he refused to lie to her. “I wish I could,” he whispered.
She looked into his eyes, as though she was trying to uncover his secrets. “I’m so afraid of getting hurt again.” She dropped her head. “I don’t think I could go through that again. The last time I ended things with you, it almost destroyed me.”
He knew exactly how she felt. He hadn’t been able to function for weeks. “I want to tell you what you need to hear, baby, but I’m not gonna lie to you. You know me; I can’t give you a guarantee.”
She pressed her forehead against his, kissing his lips tenderly. “I need a man who’s brave enough to promise me forever. Can you do that, please?”
He didn’t know how to respond. He knew if he told her he couldn’t, she would leave him again, but if he made a promise he couldn’t keep, she would resent him for the rest of their lives.
She closed her eyes in the face of his indecision. “I should have known this would happen. You claimed you were a different man, but you’re not. You’re still the same selfish….” She slid back into the passenger’s seat. “I think you’d better take me back to Jimmy’s.”
He felt the intense panic taking hold, making it difficult to breathe. “Don’t do this, Marisa, please.”
She turned toward him. “What do you expect me to do? Share your bed even though you’re still not willing to share your life?”
“I want...”
“I know what you want, Luc. You want a warm body in your bed at night. You want someone to share your troubles with, someone who’ll be there to support you when you need it. You want a woman in your life on your terms, and I’m sorry I can’t be that woman. I’ve tried; it just doesn’t work for me.”
He knew he should say something, do something, but his mind was a vortex of darkness. He knew what losing her felt like, he’d been there before, but this was different because if he let her leave him tonight, he knew, without a doubt, she would never come back.
He got out of the car and walked around to the passenger’s side. Opening the door, he held his hand out to her. “Please, just give me a few minutes, sweetheart. If you still want to leave, I’ll take you back to Jimmy’s, I promise.”
She hesitated before taking his hand. “I don’t see how anything you can say will change my mind.”
He didn’t either. He had no idea what he might say or do to change her mind. Short of a marriage proposal, which he still couldn’t offer, he didn’t think he could salvage their relationship, but he had to try.
He took his time unlocking the door and turning off the alarm, hoping divine inspiration would strike. He knew exactly how to transcend the barriers between them, sex, but using that weapon tonight seemed unfair. He knew making love wouldn’t solve their problems; it would just serve as a temporary distraction.
She surprised him by turning into his arms. He felt the soft tremors wracking her body as she sobbed against his chest. He hated that he was doing this to her. More than anything, he wanted to take her pain away.
“Please don’t cry, baby.”
She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore. It hurts too much.”
He stroked the pad of his thumbs down her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “I know, sweetheart, I wish there was something I could do to take this pain away...”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “There is; make love to me.”
His body leapt to attention immediately, responding to her request. He dipped his head, claiming her mouth. He didn’t just kiss her, he consumed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth relentlessly, demanding she give him everything. When he finally broke away, they were both panting, tearing at each other’s clothes, and he knew they were both past the point of reason.
They may have their share of regrets in the morning, but he refused to allow her to dwell on that tonight. Tonight was about making her forget, helping her to feel, and proving that no matter what happened between them, she would always have his heart.
She ripped his shirt open, groaning when she revealed his bare chest.
He tossed her cropped leather jacket across the room and backed her toward the stairs as he continued to kiss her. Reaching out to hit a light switch as they passed, his fumbling fingers worked the tiny buttons on her shirt. He cursed softly when they wouldn’t give way.
She forced his hands to grip the soft fabric. “Tear it off me. I can’t wait,” she cried, tilting her head back, baring her neck.
He growled and ripped the fabric open as buttons flew in all directions. The receding light revealed she was wearing a lime green lacy bra that pressed her full breasts over the contoured edges. He knew her preferences dictated that she wear a matching thong. He could hardly wait to rip that off, with his teeth.
She worked his belt buckle with trembling fingers.
“Lemme get that,” he said, licking a path up her neck. He released the latch on his belt and eased his button and zipper past his raging erection. His only thought was of spreading her out on his massive bed and devouring every delectable inch of her body. He knelt down to scoop her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest.
She squealed and slapped his bare chest. “What’re you doing?”
“I can’t wait any longer, darlin’. I’ve gotta get you upstairs, now.” He took the stairs quickly, careful not to hit her head against the intricate wrought iron railing.
“We could have just found a flat surface downstairs,” she said, drawing the sensitive skin at the base of his neck into her mouth. She sucked hard, marking him the way he’d marked her. She laughed. “Now we’re even.”
He chuckled. “I haven’t had one of those since I was a teenager.”
She kissed his neck, working her way up to his ear. “Do you mind?”
“Hell no. I’d tattoo your name on my neck if it’d make you happy.”
She chuckled. “Maybe tomorrow.”
When they were finally at the top of the stairs, he shifted her legs until they were wrapped around his waist. He looked into her blue eyes. They were so striking, so light in contrast to her dark features.
Normally he loved to get lost in her eyes, but tonight he didn’t want to face what he saw: uncertainty. “You sure you wannna do this, sweetheart?”
She bit her bottom lip. “It’s been a long time for me. I haven’t made love since we were...”
He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the surge of satisfaction. He couldn’t help it; he reveled in knowing that he was the only man to touch her. He kissed her gently. “We’ll take our time. I promise.” He walked backwards, pushing the bedroom doors open with the heel of his boot. “I intend to enjoy every second of this, baby.”
She smiled, stroking her hand over his pectoral muscles. “So do I. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laid awake thinking about the way you used to pleasure me.”
He groaned when she rubbed her thumb in lazy circles over his flat nipple. “You coulda just called. I would have been there in record time.”
“Then I would have had to say good-bye to you all over again. Having you for a short time would be worse than not having you at all,” she whispered.
He read her expression and knew she was wondering what tomorrow morning would bring. He knew if he allowed her to dwell on that, it would burst their sensual cocoon, and he wasn’t willing to risk that.
He pressed his lips again
st her ear. “When you were lying in that big bed, all alone, what did you imagine I was doing to you?”
She shuddered in his arms. “I imagined you were kissing me all over.”
He gripped her waist with his arm, sliding his other hand up her back to release her bra. He buried his face in her silky hair, inhaling the heady scent that was so unique to her, so achingly familiar. “What else?”
She moaned when his teeth pierced her flesh. “I remembered what it felt like to have you so deep inside of me I couldn’t catch my breath.”
He crossed the room, easing down to deposit her on the bed. Her open bra had shifted up, revealing the most tantalizing breasts he had ever touched. They were so full and round with large, dusky nipples; just looking at them made his mouth water. He had been with enough enhanced women to make him want to get down on his knees and pay homage to the embarrassment of riches she was blessed with.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “I can’t wait to taste you again.”
She stretched her arms over her head. “So, what are you waiting for?” She pressed the stiletto heel of her leather boot into his chest. “An engraved invitation?”
He grinned and unzipped her boots, one at a time, pulling them off slowly. Undressing her was like unwrapping a lavish and totally unexpected gift, and he intended to savor every second of it. He slid her tight black jeans down over her hips to reveal the bright green thong he’d been expecting to find. He closed his eyes. “You’re killin’ me here.”
She propped one heel on each of his shoulders, opening herself up to him. She slid her tongue over her lips slowly, never taking her eyes off his. “Look at what you’re doing to me.”
“It works both ways, sweetheart.”
She crooked her finger. “C’mere, I need to touch you.”
He eased down on the bed, supporting his weight on his hands as he leaned over her. Part of him wanted to pounce on her, devour her, but a soft voice told him to savor every second of this time with her.
“I love you,” he whispered.
He wanted to shout in frustration when she didn’t respond, except to wrap her legs around his waist and draw him closer. He wanted, needed, to hear those words ease past her lips so he would know that no matter what happened, he would still have a chance to salvage things between them. If she didn’t love him, all hope was lost.
She cupped her breasts and squeezed them together, her eyelids fluttering closed. “I want to feel your mouth on me, Luc.”
He couldn’t resist the temptation to taste her. He knew he should question her silence, but fear prevented him from uttering the question again. He had asked her too many times whether she still loved him, and though she told him she did, he feared her silence in this moment spoke louder than words.
He flicked his tongue across her nipple before drawing it into his mouth. She arched her back, trying to force the soft mound into his mouth, but he gripped her waist, pressing her into the bed. He was determined to set the pace. He wanted her to be ravenous by the time he finally indulged her.
She threaded her hands through his hair and moaned as he laved one nipple with his tongue before moving on to the other.
Her hips rotated under him, grinding into him as she tossed her head from side to side. “Please, Luc...”
He looked up and was struck speechless by the sight of her. The moonlight through the partially open drapes cast a shadow over her body that allowed him to appreciate her perfection. She was the ideal combination of taut muscles, soft curves, and silky, bronzed skin.
He had been with enough beautiful women to know that his devotion skewed his perception because never had he been stunned by a woman’s beauty before.
She opened her eyes to look at him. “Is everything okay? You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
He tried to stifle the harsh laugh. “You must be joking.” He peppered wet kisses over her flat abdomen. “If the house were on fire, it would take half a dozen firemen to get me off you right now.”
She grinned. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
He slipped his fingers under the strings of lace shielding her from the sensual assault he had planned. He slid the scrap of lace down her legs, tossing it to the ground. He rid them both of the remaining clothing between them, desperate to feel the heat of her skin against his. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for this forever,” he whispered, placing a tender kiss beneath her navel.
She groaned, grinding her hips into the mattress. “I have a feeling you haven’t been waiting as long as I have.”
He wouldn’t delude her with vows that he had been celibate for the last year, but those women had served as nothing more than a futile diversion. Even after satiating the physical desire, he remained greedy for the contentment he could only find in the comfort of her arms.
She smirked. “That says it all, doesn’t it?”
He realized he’d been lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t uttered a word. What could he say? He wasn’t about to justify his decision to take comfort where he could find it, so he opted for distraction as the best course of action.
He positioned his hands on her inner thighs and spread her legs wide, making her completely vulnerable and exposed to him. He swiped at her with his tongue, savoring the sweet tang of her arousal.
“Oh God.” She seized his head, positioning him firmly between her legs. “Please, don’t stop.”
He growled and proceeded to devour her with his mouth. He kissed, licked, sucked, blew, and swirled his tongue in, out, around, and over her sex until he had her worked into a frenzy.
“Oh...I...oh...God...yes...don’t...stop...”
He grasped her hips firmly, forcing her to accept her body’s demands as he drove her to the edge, only to retreat so he could take her on the steep climb all over again.
“I can’t, oh God, I can’t...”
“Yes, you can,” he whispered, flicking his tongue over the tight bud of nerve endings. “You can and you will.”
“I...need...”
He dipped his tongue into her hot, wet cavern. “I know exactly what you need, baby.”
She gripped his head, trying to hold his mouth where she needed it most. “Please, let me...”
He grinned before giving her exactly what she’d been begging for: release.
She ground into his mouth, moaning and writhing. “Yes...yes...oh, God...yes.”
He waited until the last tremors had left her still before sliding up her slick body to seize her mouth. He wanted her to taste her sweetness on his moist lips.
She reached between them as he continued to kiss her, deeply, thoroughly. She finally pulled her mouth free, gasping for breath. “I want to return the favor.”
“Later,” he whispered. “I need to be inside you now or I’m gonna lose it.” He hesitated before reaching for the nightstand drawer. When they were in a relationship, she was on the pill and he was tested to ensure he wouldn’t put her at risk. She trusted him enough to let him love her without protection back then.
She must have read the question in his eyes. “I think we need the condom,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes to try and conceal the disappointment. It was another reminder of how far removed they were from the days when she’d loved and trusted him to exclusion of everything else.
“Sure.” He reached into the drawer and grabbed a condom from the box. A box he hadn’t even kept there during the two years they’d been together.
She eyed the large box. “You have been busy, haven’t you?”
“Marisa, I...”
She flattened her palm against his stomach. “You don’t owe me an explanation. We’re not in a relationship anymore, remember?”
He bit his tongue to keep from bellowing in frustration. He wanted to explain; he wanted her to care enough to ask. He wanted her to trust him enough to let him love her the way he always had. Instead of saying everything that was in his heart, he vowed to show her. He slipped the
condom on and positioned his body over hers.
She closed her eyes and fisted the sheet in her hands.
“Open your eyes. I want you to look at me.”
She did as he asked.
He slid in slowly, savoring every hot, tight inch. His eyes didn’t leave hers. She may not want to hear the words, but he was determined to make sure she understood how he felt. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She sighed, sliding her hands up to his back. “I was just thinking this feels amazing. I’ve missed you.”
His heart lurched at the casual admission. It was a start, and right now he would take whatever he could get. He thrust in and out slowly, never taking his eyes off her. “I’ve missed you too, baby. You have no idea...”
She turned her head toward the nightstand, glancing at the condom box. “I can see that.”
He plunged into her mercilessly, punishing her for her words. “If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have needed those.”
She threw her head back and closed her eyes, arching her back off the bed.
“Open your goddamn eyes, right now.” She may be determined to shut him out, but he was equally determined to force his way in.
She opened her eyes.
“What do you see?” he asked, driving into her. “What do you see when you look at me?”
She sneered at him. “I see a hot, sexy guy, hell bent on making me come again.”
He clenched his teeth, trying to delay his release. “No, what you see is a guy who wants you and only you.”
She looked away, her face contorted in a mask of pleasure.
“Don’t do that.” He leaned over her, cupping her face in his hands. He traced her lips with his tongue before probing her mouth. He kissed her until she began to relinquish the pain and resentment of the past. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he said, continuing to engage her in an erotic dance. “Let go for me.” He could feel her climax building as he continued to kiss her. “Tell me how you’re feeling right now. Don’t think about the repercussions, just tell me.” He kissed her again, caressing her nipples as he thrust in and out in a rhythm designed to give her pleasure.
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