by Shane Morgan
Reign
I DON’T understand Nate. He’s been texting me sweet things about how he’s anticipating tonight, and how he can’t wait to be inside me. But shortly before I get off work, he texts me that he won’t be able to pick me up and that I should meet him at the bonfire.
So I drive over with Claudia and Micah, who she convinced to come out. I have to admit, it is nice being around him. I’m relaxed. I have this feeling like I’m safe. I haven’t felt that way since Mary died. My attraction to him still won’t disappear though; maybe it will when I get to know him better as a friend, and especially after tonight when I sleep with Nate.
When we arrive at the beach, Nate’s goofing off with Ryan and some other guys from our graduating class. He laughs and starts over when he finally glimpses me. It’s hard to let him stick his tongue inside my mouth when his breath is laced with alcohol. So I let him kiss my lips instead, no matter how he’s trying to go deeper. Times like this I don’t want to kiss him back. It’s not romantic.
At the end of the kiss he nuzzles me up to him, a scowl appearing on his face as he regards Micah.
“You again?” he sneers.
Claudia snakes her arm around Micah’s and says, “Yes, him again. Got a problem?”
Micah doesn’t say anything. He only looks at Nate hard. His sea blue eyes are darkened by the night. A look of annoyance morphs his face.
Nate lifts his beer to his lips and scoffs before having a drink. “Anyways,” He turns me to face him again, stroking my cheek. “Sorry you had to come here, babe. I know it’s not your scene but my parents hadn’t left yet for their little out of town thing.”
I look over at Claudia after he said that and she silently titters knowingly. I sneak a glance at Micah. He’s looking out at the ocean, trying to hide his frustrated expression.
But why is he upset?
Throwing his arm around me, Nate tows me up the beach. I peer back at my best friend; I don’t know why, maybe to seek confirmation that I’m doing the right thing. She shrugs and pulls Micah away towards the fire, introducing him to everyone.
I turn my gaze back to Nate and let him haul me to his car. My heart starts to pound as we slip inside and he takes off for his house.
The moment we arrive and enter the front door, he picks me up into his arms and carries me down the hall to his bedroom.
I know my expectations are probably way too high for a simple guy like Nate, but he did say he’d make tonight special. In fact, he promised.
Only as he pushes the door open and settles me back on my feet, I see clothes thrown all over the floor, his bed is disheveled as if another girl had been here, and there’s a poster of a bikini model hanging above it.
I’m thinking too much into this and it’s most likely because I’m so nervous, but the least he could do is put on some romantic music, if rose petals and candles aren’t his thing.
My heart feels like it’s about to burst through my ribcage when he places his hand at the small of my back, guiding me over to his bed. Nate pushes his towel and a shirt out of the way, as he gently sets me down, kissing me again.
He brings his hands to my arms and sets me down on my back. Then he climbs over me. I press my eyes shut when he moves his mouth from my lips and starts kissing my neck.
I feel his hands trail downwards. He pulls up my dress and caresses my legs. His touch makes me shiver as he slithers up my thigh and traces my panty line. Surprisingly, Micah’s broad smile flashes across my mind, and I start to envision him touching me this way instead.
I quickly open my eyes and try to erase the image of another guy when I see Nate ease up and haul his shirt over his head. He looks down at me, groaning and licking his lips. He pulls my dress up further and touches my stomach.
“Want to take it off?” he asks in a flirty tone I haven’t heard him use before.
I’m still so nervous and it’s not even the good kind. It’s not the one where desire fills up your body so much you just can’t wait to go further. It’s the kind of nervousness where you can’t shake the feeling that what’s about to happen feels too damn wrong. And why does he have this stupid poster hanging over his bed? So she’ll be the last thing he sees at night before he goes to sleep, and the first he glimpses in the morning when he wakes up?
Gawd! Why is losing my virginity to my boyfriend tripping me out so much? And why do I keep seeing Micah’s yearning eyes?
“Reign?” he draws me out of my thoughts. I wince as he touches my hip and pulls on my underwear.
“No, please stop,” I whisper, pushing up against the headboard.
He stops and looks at my face, confused. “What? What do you mean?”
I slide out from under him, stepping away from the bed as I fix my dress and say almost breathlessly, “I don’t want to do this.”
Nate laughs short and stares at me like I’ve gone insane. He gets off the bed, stepping closer to my face. “You don’t want to do this?” he repeats. “You’re just gonna change your mind after getting me so riled up?”
I dislike the way he’s talking to me so I back away from him to put some distance between us. “I’m sorry, but I’m not ready.”
“You told me only three days ago that you were.”
“I know, but…you were getting mad and…”
“And what?” he presses.
I look him straight in the eye as I say, “You were pressuring me.”
His jaw stiffens. There’s stillness between us as he takes soft breaths and eyes the floor. Seconds later, he exhales deeply then edges closer to me, draping his arms around my body. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to do that.”
I lift my hands to his back, hugging him in return. “I don’t understand why we can’t wait a while,” I mutter at his neck.
Tightening his grasp, Nate kisses me on the side of my head and says softly, “We can wait as long as you want.”
Relief floods over me. How can I stay mad at this guy much less not fall for him? He’s a good guy, so why’s it so hard to just love him?
Easing me out of his embrace, Nate plants another kiss on my mouth. This time, I part my lips and invite him in, regardless of the taste of beer on his tongue.
Then we walk out of his bedroom, hand in hand, and he drives me home. Soon we pull up to my house and I reach over the middle console and give him a kiss on the cheek goodnight before getting out of the car. He takes off as soon as I open the front door and walk inside.
Later on as I lie in bed, trying to fall asleep, I think back to what happened earlier and how Nate got over my dramatic reaction. And oddly, my mind drifts to Micah again. I wonder what he’s doing, if he had a good time at the bonfire, and if he and Claudia made any progress. Not sure why, but a selfish part of me wishes they didn’t.
SEVENTEEN
Micah
I WENT OUT for a run early Monday morning but sadly, I didn’t see Reign on the cliff walk this time. So at work, I spend my time stealing glances at her. Reign, on the other hand, is being evasive.
It was obvious Nate wanted them to leave the bonfire last night so that he could sleep with her. That burned me. I took off shortly after they left. As cool as Claudia was, now that she’s toning down her flirtation, I just couldn’t hang out somewhere that I only went in the first place because Reign would be.
Still, in my observations, I can tell something didn’t go right. Usually girls look happy the day after sex, that’s of course if they enjoyed it. So if Reign did, there’d be a glow to her. She’d be happy-go-lucky all day, except she hasn’t been smiling one bit.
In the afternoon, it gets slow so she heads out back to take a break. I sneak out behind her, wanting to know what’s wrong, and if that boyfriend of hers did something.
“Hey,” I say, walking over to stand beside her with my back against the wall. “You okay? You seem kind of…off.”
She looks at me amazed. “It’s only been a week since you started working here, how do you know when I’m off?”
I sta
re at her hard, probing those gorgeous hazel eyes. Then I ask her in a deeper tone than my own natural voice, “Would you think I’m weird if I say I’ve memorized every expression?”
She’s unable to stifle back her smile. I feel elated knowing I’m responsible for it. “Um, yeah, that’s kind of weird,” she manages to say.
I shrug. “I don’t mind being weird. But tell me you don’t feel even the slightest bit impressed by the fact that I’ve noticed things about you? I mean, what girl doesn’t like that?”
Reign looks up at my face, intensely searching my eyes. For a moment, there are no words passing between us, only the sound of the ocean and sailboats in the distance.
“So, are you and Claudia like, together now?” she asks, a speck of disappointment within her voice.
“Why? Are you jealous?” I tease.
She perks up, twisting her mouth. “Pff…I’m not. I could care less.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah…” She’s trying hard to appear unfazed. I can tell it’s a front.
I take the chance to inch closer to her, wanting to have some kind of contact. Whether it’s to touch her arm, stroke her cheek, or even brush my lips against hers, I just want to graze her like that night when we hung out alone by the pier. The problem is, will she let me?
My attempt at the railing on Saturday was a disappointment. Even though she’s pushing us to just be friends, I can tell she’s having trouble hiding her attraction to me. She wanted that kiss then.
I draw close enough that we’re toe to toe. There’s a beaming light flickering in her eyes now, and her chest starts to rise and fall deeply. I’m making her nervous.
Taking an even bigger risk, I drop my hands from my pockets and lift one to run across her cheek. I move slowly, holding her gaze like I’ve placed her under a spell. She doesn’t back away so I consider it a sign she’ll actually let me get closer.
I’m almost there when the backdoor pushes open. Aislin peeps out. “Hey, what are you two doing? I actually have a room full of vacationers in here.”
Reign collects herself and hurries past me. I silently fume over the interruption then shake it off and go back inside as well.
“Micah,” Mrs. Aldridge calls out to me before I can leave. Its closing and I was hoping to convince Reign to hang out with me since Claudia isn’t here tonight to bug me about going to another party or something. But it looks like her mom has other plans for me.
I look over and she gestures for me to come with her to the office. That’s when I remember about the background check. I figure more or less, I’m pretty much screwed. She’s definitely going to fire me. That means I’ll have no way of being around Reign. I don’t know if we’ll even be friends when her mom tells her I’ve been in juvie.
“Have a seat, Micah,” she says as we enter the office.
I sit down and mentally prepare myself for her questions. “What’s up?” I ask, trying to seem casual.
Sitting down, Mrs. Aldridge clasps her hands on top of the desk and peers at me the same way that judge did before she gave me her sentence.
“Micah.” My body tenses when she says my name. “I’m sure you know what this is about?”
I nod, accepting defeat. I’m about to be fired for sure. “I’m sorry I lied about my name, it was only so I could get the job.”
She sighs deeply then collapses back in the chair. “Of course, your records are sealed, Mitchel Stephens, so I have no idea why you were in a juvenile detention center for eight months.”
I look down at my hands. My palms are starting to sweat. Knots form in my stomach. And the horrible memory of what happened begins to play in my head.
Somehow, I manage to snap myself out of it when Mrs. Aldridge says, “I’m not going to judge you, Micah. I’ve worked at a center for troubled teens before so I know there aren’t all bad apples in the bunch.”
I glance up at her, surprised.
She dips her head. “I worked in Providence a few years ago before I married and moved down here. I guess that’s why I can tell you’re a good kid. I’m just curious how you landed yourself in that kind of trouble.”
Easing forward, she goes through the papers on top of her desk. “I found a newspaper article from Haxtun. It says here that many are baffled by what happened, as you were always helpful to your grandmother, played on the soccer team in high school, you had good grades—”
“Please don’t go through that,” I stop her. She looks up at me with her eyes narrowed. I can see fine wrinkles in her forehead as she creases it. Now that I’m looking at her closely, Reign doesn’t resemble Mrs. Aldridge all that much.
“Like I said, Micah, I’m not going to judge you. And I’m not asking you to tell me what happened. But I do hope that this travelling you’re doing isn’t a result of you trying to escape your past.”
That’s exactly what it is. Why is she turning into my shrink now?
“I’m not,” I lie. “I always wanted to travel.”
She relaxes her face and lingers her gaze on me, then gives me a tightlipped smile. Nodding, she sticks the papers back inside a folder and slips them inside one of her drawers.
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer,” she says, getting up.
I stand as well, a little amazed by the fact that she’s obviously not firing me. “Thank you for not letting me go,” I say in a low tone.
Mrs. Aldridge waves me off. “I guess I’m too much of a softy. And you’re a good worker. This place needs you until I decide—” she doesn’t finish.
And I don’t ask, only smile before turning to walk out of her office. Mrs. Aldridge is a nice lady. That much Reign has taken from her. I wonder what Mr. Aldridge is like.
When I rush outside and look down the street, the trolley has already left. It’s a good walk from the restaurant to my house but I don’t have a choice. I have to tread home tonight.
I make it a couple steps down the street before headlights shine on me. She pulls over and nods for me to get in.
“I saw the trolley take off and I knew you weren’t on it, so I waited around to give you a ride.”
“Thanks,” I say, getting in the car. I hope my grin isn’t too much and isn’t freaking her out.
Reign drives off. I notice she doesn’t turn left in the direction of the street where my house is.
“Oh, this is exciting,” I tease. “You’re kidnapping me.”
She titters. “Gosh, you’re so silly. I thought you’d be interested in checking out a live acoustic performance so I’m taking you to the Pure bistro.”
You can take me anywhere, baby.
“Pure bistro?” I enthuse. “That’s an interesting name. Does it only accommodate people who are untainted? Cause if that’s the case, I probably shouldn’t go. I might tarnish the place. Burst out into flames, so to speak.”
Reign laughs. “Don’t worry; I’m sure they’ll make an exception for you.”
“Based on what?”
“Based on the fact that you’re charming,” she says, in a way that seems like she doesn’t realize she said it. My suspicion is confirmed when she quickly follows the sentence with, “I mean, you’re a cool guy. I’m sure they’ll see that, too.”
I laugh. “Admit it. You think I’m hot.”
“What? No…I,” she fumbles. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s okay. I think you’re hot too.”
Reign falls quiet. Light from passing traffic blares on her face and I can see that her cheeks are red. She tightens her grip on the wheel and slightly shifts on her seat. Oh yeah, I’m getting under her skin.
EIGHTEEN
Reign
I HAVEN’T been to the Pure bistro since my eighteenth birthday last July, so I’m excited about going there tonight. A local artist I follow, Allysen Callery, has been performing for the past week. She was touring for a while and is finally able to stop in Newport. I’d asked Nate to go with me to her first performance several nights ago, but he said her music wasn�
�t his cup of tea. And of course, Claudia likes dance.
“This is Pure?” says Micah, sounding taken aback. He strolls inside the bistro next to me. As we walk up to the hostess, he peers around and checks everything out. “It’s cool.”
“There’s always good music here. It’s probably not like what you listen to, but it’s really nice.”
“It does sound nice,” he says, glancing at me with a delightful grin. I’m only now seeing he has a dimple at the right corner of his mouth. Gosh it’s sexy.
He notices me staring. I quickly look away to hide my flushed cheeks, and then start to pick at the loops of my jeans.
The hostess leaves us to go find a table.
Allysen is already singing. Her voice is like a calm rainfall, soothing to the soul. I wonder if this bores Micah, too, like Nate. I wonder if he’s only pretending to like it because he feels obligated, since I’m driving him home.
Even though I really want to listen to this artist, I feel happier about the fact that he’s here with me. I don’t even know why. All I know is I think of nothing else when he’s around, not about my family having issues they don’t share with me, my inner guilt about my sister’s death, much less about Nate. My mind is completely free right now.
And I like it.
As the hostess returns and leads us to a table in the back, Micah takes in the folk singer, strumming effortlessly on her guitar. She engulfs the room in this exhilarating acoustic atmosphere.
“Who is she?” he asks.
“Allysen Callery,” I reply, gushing. “She’s one of my favorites.”
He looks at me with a knowing flare in his eyes. “I can see why.” His words send a wintry sensation down my back.
Sitting down at the table, I ask, “What do you mean?”
He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me and smiles. Feeling uneasy, I drive my eyes over to Allysen to try and settle the butterflies flying wildly in my stomach. Jeez, he stirs me up so much. It’s wrong; I shouldn’t even be out with him if I feel this way. But I can’t help myself. I’m a slave to my attraction it seems.