by Delisa Lynn
“Mmm, me too Ian, me too.” I say letting him get comfortable then I let him have it, I bang his head against the wall and bring my knee to his crotch. Bet his dick isn’t hard anymore.
“Stupid fucking whore. You are going to regret that.” He says as he tries to catch me, I take off running out the door. Just as I reach the elevator, I see he is on my heels, so I run to the steps it’s only three flight and I ran track, so surely I’ll make it down the steps.
I take them two at a time the entire time he is behind me screaming and cussing me. “Ian please, I’m pregnant. I don’t want to hurt my blossom.” I say crying and running down the steps.
“You fucking whore, I knew you were fucking him. No way will you have his baby.” He seethes; he is right on my heels. I have a few more steps before the door.
“No, Zander isn’t the father. It’s someone else.” I lie; I could not tell him the truth.
“You, know you can’t lie. Now stop running from me before you get hurt. I will hurt you if you don’t do as I say. I love you, beauty, but you know better than to fuck with my emotions. Now be a good little whore and stop running from me. Let me love you, baby.” He smirks.
“Leave please. Just leave me alone. I hate you. You will never touch me with your dick.” I say as I finally reach the last step, my left leg gives out and I go flying into the door and my stomach crashes to the ground and head into the door. Just then someone opens the door, I yell, “Help me!”, and Ian goes running back up the stairs.
“Audrey, is that you? You’re bleeding. Don’t move I’ll call nine-one-one.”
“Yes, Mr. Dutton, can you help me please. My ex he went the other way. He is trying to kill me. My baby—please help me. Oh no, my blossom, God please help me.” I could feel the wetness around my legs, I look down and see I’m covered in blood. Oh no, oh my fucking God, blossom. I rub my stomach and burst into tears. I lie there crying hysterically knowing what just happened, I didn’t even get to tell Zander about our baby. I can’t lose her.
Mr. Dutton called nine-one-one. I lie there on the cold floor, while my blossom is now my star in the sky. The cramping is a pain that I never felt before, but that pain or no pain will ever hurt as bad as losing my child. All because that stupid bastard, and he will pay for what he has done. Even if I have to hunt him, down myself. I will make him pay for everything he has done.
“Audrey, honey, lie still. The EMT’s are on their way. I hope the police can catch that guy. Do you want me to call anyone for you?” he asks, as he held my hand.
“Thank you, I think I will be okay. I hope they catch him and throw him in the cell with Big Al, so he can show him a few things or two. Oh.my.gosh, I’m in so much pain.” I cry out, God I would love to see Zander’s mocha eyes staring at me right now. “Don’t tell my friends about the baby, okay?” I ask, he shakes his head.
“I hear the sirens, they are here. Just don’t move and I’ll go lead them to you. Will you be okay here?”
“Just go, please. I need to get the hospital.” I sob, I could feel my knees shaking and my teeth chattering. Mr. Dutton walks out front to let the paramedics know where I am.
A young woman comes to me first; she looks my age. I can see the look in her eyes when she sees what has happened. I lie there covered in blood. Once she hooked the blood pressure machine up to me, she starts the I.V drip.
“Sweetie, my name is Joy. I will stay with you until we reach the hospital. I know you are in pain, we will do everything we can to make you as comfortable as possible. Is there anyone I can call for you?”
“Thank you, just more blankets. Please. My phone is in my apartment. Are the police officers in there?”
“Yes, I will have Wayne get your phone for you. We are going to take you to Mercy in the city. Is that okay?”
“Okay, I need my purse, can he grab that? My phone is in it.”
“Yes, I will tell him. The police will want to take a statement from you. We can wait until you feel up too it though. Okay, I am going to roll you through the front; there is many people out there. I am going to cover your face with this blanket, just for privacy.”
“Thank you. Can you please stay with me? I am hurting so bad. My baby is gone isn’t she?”
“I will stay with you dear. We will get you to the hospital.”
I just nod my head knowing I’ve lost my Blossom. I’m so cold, it seems like the hospital is a million miles away. Once we arrive, they take me into a small room. Joy stays right with me. I am grateful because although, I had no clue who she was, I wasn’t alone at least. I don’t think I can do this alone. Zander is going to be so mad at me.
The nurse informs me that they will do what’s called a D&C and that it will remove the tissues from my uterus. My baby died inside of me and they are just going to clean her out of me. All I have left of blossom is the ultra sound image, I got last week. As I rub my stomach, I feel like I let her down. She is gone because I’m so stupid. If I’d just not answered the goddamn door, this wouldn’t have fucking happened.
I lie there thinking about the last twelve weeks. The small life that was once growing inside of me is now gone. Ian will pay for what he has hone, even if I have to shank him my damn self, he will pay.
“Audrey, we should contact your family and friends. We would like to keep you a few days. You’ve lost a significant amount of blood.”
“I’ll call my friends. Will I be okay? I mean will I be able to conceive again?” I swallow, trying to let the words escape my mouth. I can feel the tears welling up, that’s all I have done is cry.
“You are young. You should be just fine.”
I’d had missed calls from the guys. Finally, I call Zander, I tell him everything except that I was pregnant. Was. I can’t believe how dumb I was to open the goddamn door. Then to let that cocksucking motherfucker kill my baby. I knew that Zander would be here anytime since I called, I have to dry my eyes and be strong.
I asked the doctors and nurses not to tell the guys. I don’t even let my father know I’m in the hospital. I call Tatum, but don’t tell her about blossom either. Not only did I lose my baby, I also have a mild concussion, a sprained ankle and fractured rib. I lie here and cry for my baby, the baby I was going to tell Zander about today.
I turn the TV on and a rerun of Full House is on. I love this show. I can look at Uncle Jessie all day long. No matter how old he is. I hear voices coming from the hall. I think its Evan and Zander. I turn the TV off. I see them enter the room and I’m no longer strong. Seeing Zander has made me vulnerable.
“Hey, no tears. I’m here and that fucker will never come near you again.” Zander says as he walks in the room.
“Thanks. Zander. I’m just really sore.” I say as I scoot over a little and let him lie next to me. It feels good having his arms around me. God I love him so fucking much.
“Audrey, I am not going anywhere. I love you and we are going to make this work.” He says as he kisses me.
“Zander, no we can’t. We can’t be more than friends.” I say as I feel tears in my eyes. I need him so bad now, right now, and I am pushing him away.
“Yes, we can. Why are you pushing me away, goddamn it. Look what happened when I left you alone. That son of a bitch hurt you. Trust me, he will never get that close to you again.”
“Because you are you and I am me. It can never be more than this. I love you and always will but I can never be with you. Please just go.” I beg. I’ve wanted him to be here with me. Why am I pushing him away? I can’t keep doing this.
I need him so fucking bad…
“What? You’re pushing me out of your life?” he says with tears in his own eyes.
“Yes, I don’t want you. I don’t want anyone. Just leave please.” I say as I cry into my pillow. He gets up and walks out and I hear him hit the wall and cuss. I lie there and cry, wondering how fucking stupid I am. I won’t let him hurt me the way Mr. Kelley hurt my mother, she was so broken and resented him and everyone. I won’t let Zander
Kelley hurt me like that. So I’ll turn my feelings off and let the only man I will ever love, think I want nothing to do with him. I lost not only our baby, but I lost all of him that day.
It’s been two months since I left the hospital. Zander moved out and in with the guys. I’ve continued to stare at his last post it he left.
I’ve avoided all three of them, as much as possible. I hardly speak to Evan at work. I’ve heard through a classmate that Zander is seeing Sage again. Then last week, I ran into her at the café, and she let it be known that she and he had a date. I just pretended that I never heard her. I still haven’t told my parents about what happened. The detectives have called me a few times letting me know they can’t find Ian. Of course they can’t, his father has him hid away somewhere. So I do what I do best, and focus on class and drown out everyone around me.
Today, I have a date with Sean; we’re going to dinner and a movie. He is a sweet guy. I don’t see myself getting involved romantically but he is great to talk to. I would never do anything with him because it could jeopardize my job. He has been at the firm a while, I think he knows some of what happened with Zander and me, due to the fact that Evan has a big mouth. I know he means well, but he needs to look at his own love life before trying to fix mine. Looking at the clock, I realize that Sean will be here in an hour.
Pulling my dress over my head, I notice the bags under my eyes. I try to cover them up as much as possible with concealer. I haven’t slept much in the last few months. Hell, if it wasn’t for coffee and tea, I would have no energy due to the fact that I get maybe two to three hours of sleep a day. I curl my hair, deciding to pull half of it up; I place a few bobby pins in the back. I spray my perfume on and blot my lips. Slipping on a pair of Navy blue pumps, I hear my door buzz. “Fuck, he is early.” I say aloud.
I push the button to let him in then a few minutes later, he is knocking on the door. I can feel my nerves; I’d never really dated. I’ve been out with Sean and Dale a few times, but that was meeting them at the bar. Never dinner or a movie. I clear my thoughts and open the door. He is standing there with a dozen of roses and chocolates. He is a very handsome man, he stands about six-feet tall, and he has a deep tan. He has muscles for days. I can only imagine what he looks like with his shirt off. Shit… Stop thinking like that Audrey.
“Hi, beautiful, sorry I am a little early. I hope that’s okay. I made reservations at Italy. I hope you like Italian?” he says as he kisses my cheek.
“These are beautiful, yes, I do. Thank you. I will put these in some water and grab my purse. Then I’ll be ready.” I walk into the kitchen, I look for a vase, and the only one I can find is one from Zander. I shake my head, grab it from that cabinet, and run water in it. I unwrap the roses and place them in the vase.
Looking back at Sean, I realize I didn’t offer him to come in; he is still standing at the door. Shit, this is all so fucking new to me. I look at him and say, “Sean, I am so sorry. Come in, have a seat. I am ready though.” I giggle.
“No problem, I am enjoying the view from here.” He laughs. Just great, he was staring at my ass the entire time. “Are you ready?” he questions as he talks my hand in his.
“Yes, I’ve never been to Italy before. I’ve heard it is wonderful though.” I say trying to get around the fact that he is holding my hand. We walk to the elevator and get in; I’m praying we didn’t run into one of the guys. But of course, it doesn’t work. As soon as the doors open, there stands Zander.
He’s sweaty, he looks as if he had just left the gym. He’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a sleeveless tee-shirt. Fucking. Great. I smile and then look to my hands and see that Sean’s left hand is still fully holding mine. I yank it out of his and scratch my nose, playing it off.
“Audrey, how are you darlin’,” Zander asks.
“Hi, I’m fantabulous. How are you?” I lie. I am a fucking liar. God, I need my damn head examined. I swear they would declare me insane. Yep, that’s me insane Audrey. Even all sweaty and out of breath he smells so fucking good. I would love to have him sweaty and out of breath in my bed. I feel my pussy clinch at the thought. Fuck, I am crazy. I shake my head, trying to get that image out of it.
“Hi, I’m Sean. Audrey’s date.” Sean says as he reaches his hand to Zander.
“I know who you are. I wasn’t aware that Audrey was dating anyone.” He says as he walks into the elevator. This is awkward.
“Well, it was nice meeting you too.” Sean laughs. “So that’s Zander, I do remember him now that I see him.”
“Let’s just go, I need a drink or five.” I laugh, hoping he would just blow what just happened off.
“I can see why he is jealous. Hell, who wouldn’t be? You are a smart, beautiful woman and you are my date tonight.” He says as he kisses my cheek.
His car is a little sports car; I do not really know my cars. He opens the door for me. Then he fastens my seatbelt. “Safety first.” He smiles. As he walks around to his side. I sit there nervously twiddling my thumbs. That’s what I do when I am nervous.
“This is a nice car.” I say trying to start a not so weird conversation. Then I hear my phone chirp.
“Thanks, it was a graduation present from my father.” He says as he turns onto the main road. I pull my phone out of my purse. I see it’s a text from Tatum.
Ta: You dirty slut, you never told me you were seeing that fine law student.
Me: It’s just dinner. I do recall telling you.
Ta: Nope, I would have remembered. My brother isn’t happy about it. I just got a very heated call from him. Be safe… I <3 you.
Me: Yep, we saw him in the elevator. AWKWARD…. I love you, cupcake.
I turn my phone on vibrate and place it back in my purse. I notice that Sean is staring at me. “Everything okay?” he asks.
“Yes, that was my best friend she lives in Alabama.”
“Tatum right?”
“Yes, you remembered. I’m impressed,” I wink.
“You are something else, Miss. Ridge. I think I’ve finally met my match. Thank you for going out with me. I figured you would turn me down again. But after finding out you and Zander broke up, I thought I would ask again.”
“Zander and I were never together. He is my best friend’s brother and was my roommate. That’s all.” I say as I look out the window. How the fuck am I supposed to have a good time if he is going to bring him up?
“I’m sorry beautiful, I just thought that. Ahh… Just forget it. I think I’m ready for that drink too.” He sighs. “It’s been a long week at work. My classes are getting a little overwhelming. How was your week?” he asks as he squeezes my hand.
“About the same as yours, I’m guessing from that sigh.” My classes are overwhelming but it’s all a part of becoming a wonderful and successful attorney.
Pulling into the restaurant, he valets his car and we walk in the restaurant hand in hand…still… We are placed at our table and he orders a bottle of champagne, I don’t even remember it hitting my lips. I downed three glasses before excusing myself to the ladies’ room. I look at my phone and see I have a text from Zander.
Z: Glad to see that you are dating. Good choice on rich and handsome. Next time, I will break his pretty little nose.
Me: We aren’t fucking dating. And since when is it any of your fucking business to tell me whom I can see.
Z: Very classy of you, Audrey. So I guess it was just me you didn’t want.
Me: Bye Zander, I am on a DATE.
Ugh… He is so infuriating. I straighten myself up, walk back out and enjoy my diner with my date. It is a wonderful dinner, I order Chicken Alfredo, with a side salad. He is having a monstrous plate of steak. I’ve never seen a steak that big. We share a chocolate tiramisu cake for dessert. It was wonderful; I’m a little tipsy from my drinks. I realize as we are leaving, I had about ten glasses of champagne. I’m not in the mood for a movie, I just want to go home and put on Zanders tee-shirt that I stole before he moved.
I’ve been seeing Sean for several months now. He is a wonderful guy. He just isn’t…well, he isn’t Zander Kelley. But things are going good; we keep our personal life away from work. I met his parents last week, I wasn’t ready but he insisted on me having Sunday dinner with them. I see less and less of Zander. Hell, I rarely see Evan and Brody. We all have our own lives and they are all my past. I still talk to my best friend of course. She and Thayer are having some issues. I wish she would just leave his ass. We couldn’t get that lucky.
I’m going to Sean’s tonight—we haven’t had sex yet. But I think tonight will be the night, I’m not sure if I am ready. I think I am, but I’m just so unsure about all this. I’m going shopping with Haydon today buy some new lingerie, just in case. I know I need to move on with my life, but is it him that I want to move on with? He is just too damn perfect actually. In the last couple of months, I haven’t noticed any flaws. He is cute, charming, and very entertaining. His family is wonderful. I just hope that I don’t find out he has ten kids he’s been hiding or he is a murderer. There has to be something.
I was meeting Haydon at the café before heading to the mall. She was standing outside waiting. She was smiling ear to ear. She handed me a coffee and said, “Spill it.”
“What, my coffee? You just bought it for me.” I laugh.
“No, slut. Mr. Sexy Ass. Have you yet?”
“You are so silly. There is nothing to spill; we have been dating. That’s about it.” I say sipping my coffee. It is the best coffee in New York City. I could drink it all day long.
“Quit making out with that coffee and tell me the goods on Mr. Sexy Ass.” She says smacking my ass.
“Seriously, you would be the first to know. There is nothing to tell you. Pinky promise.” I say holding my pinky out.
“Ugh… You’re a bitch. I need to hear about some sex. My toys are getting boring.”
“Jesus woman. We need to get you, your own Mr. Sexy Ass. What about that—” she cuts me off before I can finish.