by Jeri K Raine
“Sis,” Tandi’s voice is tight, tense. “You know I don’t want her to see me in here.”
* * *
“She’s stronger than you think, Tandi. And anyway, I want to see you. I hate to think of you alone in there.” Really, I can’t imagine how it must be for her. “That bastard.”
* * *
“In his twisted mind, it’s a payback for the restraining order.”
* * *
I’m not letting her off the track. I tell her, “She needs you. I think you need her, too. And anyway, I want to see you. I’m bringing her. Mimi needs her mom.”
* * *
“Honey, I know she does but I can’t be any kind of a mom to her in here. I don’t want her to come here and feel part of all this.”
* * *
“You know it’s not your fault that you’re in there.”
* * *
“You know what, Jessica, it pretty much is. I didn’t do the thing that I’m in here for, but I did choose the ass who did it and fitted me up with it.”
* * *
“If you hadn’t chosen him, you wouldn’t have Mimi. Anyway. We’re both coming to visit on the weekend. Get your hair done.”
* * *
Finally I hear a trace of a laugh from her. My heart aches.
* * *
She’s about to run out of time for her call. She says, “Well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere. I’ll pencil you in on my calendar.”
* * *
When we hang up, I wish I had a way to call him. Christian. I wish it so hard, it knots in my stomach.
Chapter 3
Christian
Through the whole of my shift at Chug-a-Lug, girls come up to the bar, leaning on their elbows, putting their chins on the palms and fluttering their eyelids. Like always. Asking about certain drinks or cocktails. They’re nice enough and they mostly tip well.
* * *
When I started here, when girls came on to me like that, I told them I wasn’t interested. The owner of the bar let me know that I didn’t need to do that. It ‘Takes away their hope.’ He said it wouldn’t be good for business. I took that to mean it wouldn’t be good for me holding my job.
* * *
My biker buddy Crane keeps a corner of the bar. Says he likes the beer here, but I know he’s got my back, too. He raises his beer to me. Gravelly voiced he says, “Christian, bro, you’re a fucking hero in my book.”
* * *
It’s a quiet night, and I’m glad of it. Behind the bar, I keep myself busy, polishing glasses.
* * *
“I mean it, man.” Crane says, “background like yours, working behind a bar. You are a fucking saint, man.”
* * *
Nothing could be farther from the truth. But it means something, him saying it. We served together. Crane’s one of the bad guys who’s a good guy. Or maybe a good guy who moonlights as a bad guy.
* * *
“Just being in a bar is not such a problem for me,” I tell him. “Some guys can do it, for others, it’s tough. I’m not tempted by the smell, by the look, not by thinking of the taste. Only the booze itself, getting in my veins, that’s all that can ever pull me back down.”
* * *
He says, “I hear you’re working at a daycare, too. Is that right?”
* * *
“Volunteering. Keeps me busy. I can’t work there on the books, my background.” There’s a weariness in my voice that even I hear. “One minor D&D and only probation, but I’m not allowed to set foot inside the building.” I shake my head. “No matter. I give them security on the perimeter. Some nice folks. Some lovely kids, too. All of them, deserve a better neighborhood.”
* * *
“Man, you’d save the whole fucking world, never think about saving yourself.”
* * *
“I’m thinking a little about it now,” I pick up another glass to polish. “I’m getting through, day-to-day. But it’s hard to see any fucking future from here.”
* * *
I didn’t mean that to come out quite as heavy as it sounded. I surprised myself. Again.
* * *
“You know I can always throw a curve your way, man.”
* * *
“No offense,” I lift a hand. We know each other enough, “I can’t do it your way.”
* * *
“No worry, man. You have a code, I respect that. I’m only telling you, any time you need it, you’re one of the only men I know I can trust. Anything. Any time.”
* * *
I give him an affirmative nod. “Appreciate it, man. I don’t know what I’m going to be able to find. But I have to find something.”
* * *
Crane studies me, “Man, I see a change in you. You met someone?”
* * *
Most of the clientele here is bikers, and an adventurous after-office crowd who play rock’n’roll on the jukebox and try to get near the waitresses. They stay away from the biker girls.
* * *
One girl, a tall, willowy blonde in a sleeveless denim coat and a short black leather skirt, she has the looks of a model, the tits of a stripper. She makes me wait for her while she thinks about order. I’m sure it’s just so she can keep me standing behind the bar, in front of her.
* * *
My phone rings. It almost never does, and when it does, it’s almost always Crane. And he’s here. The screen says, ‘Number withheld’ so I let it go to voicemail. Probably a political party or some other scam.
* * *
The girl’s leaning her chin on her hand, her elbow on the bar. She tells me about where she lives. Even the address. She leans forward, bats her eyelashes and sweeps her hair from the back of her neck. All the while she’s giving me a view down the front of the low-scooped tee shirt.
* * *
She’s sexy, too. I guess. I would rather tell her she’s wasting her time with me, but she’ll get it.
* * *
All the way through the shift, I can’t think of anything except that bouncy, curvy little minx, Jessica. I know she’s got too much on her plate right now to be worried about being pestered by an ass like me. What would I have to offer? I know anywhere she goes there will be any number of men with raging hard-ons for her. She can have her pick.
* * *
She’s what you would call, the whole package. I’m angry, though. First time I’ve been angry at the idea of guys looking at a woman. Feeling possessive like that.
* * *
Late in the shift, Crane asks me, “That guy, you say his name was Jake?”
* * *
I nod. He’s pulling something up on his phone. He turns the screen to me.
* * *
“This the asshole?”
* * *
“That’s the beauty. Yup, that’s him alright.”
* * *
“Your description rang a bell. Well-known piece a shit. Sells crystal meth. Specializes in selling to school kids.”
* * *
“Classy.”
* * *
“Nasty motherfucker. Listen, Bro. You take care. You need any help, call.”
* * *
“Sure, Crane. Thanks.”
* * *
When I cash up the bar and start to close up, I remember the voicemail on my phone. I’m expecting some sales bullshit. Turns out it’s not.
* * *
I know her voice right away and I’m angry with myself for not picking up. And I’m embarrassed. I’ve been thinking about her all night. Practically every moment since I saw her.
* * *
“Hello?” She’s hesitant, talking to a strange voicemail with the generic outgoing message. Could be anyone’s. I’m willing her to go on. “Christian? It’s Jessica? I hope you don’t mind, I got your number from Karen at Lil’ Blossoms.” She pauses and I’m worried she’s going to hang up. “I just wanted to thank you.” The silences, the pauses are kind of long. But I don’t mind as long as she stays on
. I’m happy to listen to her, even when she’s not saying anything. I have no way to call her back. “You went out on a limb for Mimi.”
* * *
Another pause. There’s the shuffling sound when someone’s going to hang up. Then, “If you want to call me back… I don’t expect you do, but I’d love it if you did,” and she tells me her number.
* * *
I know it’s probably too late but I call her back right away, listen to her phone ring. I’m expecting she’s asleep by now. I’m ready to press ‘END’ when she picks up and says, “Hey. I hope you don’t mind that I called.”
* * *
At the sound of her voice, my cock starts to uncoil and it lengthens itself out. It fattens out so tight and I can’t keep images of her pretty, perfect, cupids bow lips out of my head. I keep imagining how her soft body would feel against me. How she would look if she was peeled out of her clothes. How her big, soft tits would feel in my hands or with my cock buried between them.
* * *
“Mind? No, I don’t mind at all, Jessica. It’s really great to hear from you.” Did that sound too eager? I’m not sure I should have said that. I never was much good, talking to girls. Turns out I’m especially crap at talking to women I’m half mad in love with. Woah! That thought came out of nowhere.
* * *
“I’m so grateful, what you did this afternoon.”
* * *
“Hey, I told you. Just call me Daddy.”
* * *
I didn’t mean to say that either. I have to get a grip. My feelings for this full, ripe young woman are powerful, and she doesn’t need the hassle of a fuckup like me in her life. Still, I can’t keep away from dreamy thoughts of her sparkly eyes, how they would gleam and pop and water if I stuck my cock into the back of her throat. Whenever I can stop one kind of filthy thoughts about her, another image of her comes up and this time even dirtier.
* * *
“Anybody would have done the same, Jessica.” I’m trying to keep my voice level. “Mimi is a wonderful kid. I could see she wasn’t happy to see that guy. So there was no way he was going to get past me.” Damn, I don’t mean to come off like some prick, thinks he’s some big hero or something.
* * *
“I don’t think anybody would have done the same, Christian. I don’t think very many people would have done that. Jake can be a pretty terrifying guy. Most people, far as I’ve seen, step out of his way when he tells them.”
* * *
“I couldn’t do it, Jessica. Him going after Mimi? She is so great.”
* * *
“Well, she really likes you. But you mustn’t give her candy. You hear?”
* * *
“Oh, okay. Is that what this is about? You want to slap my wrist?” Not even thinking, I’ve gone from raging hard on to aching balls in about half a second.
* * *
She giggles. “If anyone’s at fault, it’s me for being late in the first place.”
* * *
“Maybe you need a spanking.” Oh! I should have held that back for sure. But her voice lowers.
* * *
“Maybe.”
* * *
Now the silence is a little longer. I really want to say something to her. All the things I can think of to say, I know I shouldn’t say any of them.
* * *
I shouldn’t tell her that I really want to spank her until her ass is red and raw. Drag her panties off and eat her juicy pussy until she shakes from her toes. I won’t tell her that I want to jam my cock down in throat and shove it hard until she swallows about a half a bucket of hot sticky cum. I definitely should not say that I want to mount her, ram my cock inside her and ride her like a Bronco.
* * *
“Well,” she says, hesitating.
* * *
I know, this is the bit where we both try and find a polite way of saying, ‘Bye, then.’
* * *
I blurt, “You eat yet?”
* * *
She sighs. “Not had a chance. I got back and I had to get Mimi’s stuff together for tomorrow, packed her up and take her round to Mom’s. She stays over when my shift means I have to be out too early to take her into daycare.” She lets out a pretty little laugh. “I am making it all sound really complicated. It’s not a burden or a chore for me, I just adore her. But, since you ask, no.” That sparkle of giggle again. “I fed Mimi, but I didn’t get around to feeding me yet.”
* * *
“Well, look. Not if it’s awkward, I mean, just say no, but, you know,”
* * *
“Yes?”
* * *
“I could get pizza.”
* * *
“Yes!”
* * *
“We can make it somewhere near where you are, if you don’t mind letting me know where you live. I know you’re probably trying to keep it quiet. So I understand,”
* * *
“Why not get pizzas and bring them here?”
* * *
I’m surprised. But she tells me her address. Shew makes it sound completely natural. Like, ‘Of course, why not?’ She’s too innocent. It makes me want to take care of her. Over to her little district pretty flocking fast.
I’m thinking by the time I get there she will have gone to bed. She’s gonna regret inviting me over. I don’t even know what kind of pizza she likes. She would probably like a beer but it would look wrong if I took beer for her and not for me.
* * *
I get pizzas and sodas, from a place near where she lives to get pizzas and soda. Even though I call ahead, the guy tells me I have to wait while they make them. “This time of night, we don’t want to make a pizza and you don’t show up for it.”
* * *
Her apartment is over a small row of shops, one of a line of walk ups. I climb the steps and find her white front door.
* * *
Standing in front of the door, I’m thinking whether to knock. She said she had an early shift. I don’t want to wake her if she’s asleep already. She opens the door before I have time to think any more. She stands for a moment, looking at me. And I look at her. Her hair is different. She’s pulled it up. A couple her strands hang down her long neck it makes her even sexier than she usually is.
* * *
In a little black slip, over a lacy bra and a pair of denim shorts, she’s like a filthy dream come to life. My cock fattens up and stiffens, pivoting up in my pants. Her eyes go down to it and stay there. I’m embarrassed.
* * *
She sounds breathless as she says, “Hey, Daddy.”
* * *
I suppress a groan. If she talks like that, it’s going to be hard to keep this visit respectable. I shouldn’t have come.
* * *
“Please, Christian,” she says, “come inside.”
Chapter 4
Jessica
He fills the doorway like a dream come true. A big alpha male with a trace of a shy little boy smile. And pizzas. I can’t help wondering if he crammed a couple of socks or something down the front of his pants. I know it can’t be that, though because, when my eyes won’t peel off his massive armadillo, it stretches to about twice the length it was. My breath gets caught in my chest as I try hard not to stare at it.
* * *
He colors up when I look in his face. I think I embarrassed him. I’ll try not to look.
* * *
Damn, it’s hard, though.
Chapter 5
Christian
Her apartment is tiny. Cramped with boxes, bags, all kinds of stuff. Everything is neat and spotlessly clean, even though the walls and the paintwork could do with some TLC. I get the feeling she hasn’t lived here long.
* * *
Far as I can tell she has just two rooms, a bathroom and the little kitchen. That must be one room for Mimi and the other one for Jessica and everything else. She shows me into the little kitchen.