by Katy Paige
The lift neared the top of the small hill, and his father put his arm around Erik’s back, his paw of a hand gripping his far underarm, helping him off the lift. To Erik’s great surprise, he didn’t fall, even when his father let go. He stayed up on the skis with only a slight wobble.
“Good job, Minste. Stay up. Bend your knees. Remember what we’ve practiced, what I’ve told you. I know you’re frightened, but you can do this. You’re a Lindstrom. Trust the skis.”
Erik’s chest swelled with pride and relief. He pushed himself along slowly, following his father’s gentle instructions and gliding closer and closer from the lift to the top of the hill where they would push off and try his first run together. As he neared the top, his panic suddenly returned, furious now. He had once jumped off a high diving board at the community pool in Bozeman, and this hill was about ten times higher. Other children pushed off their poles with confidence, whooshing down the hill with shrieks of glee. Erik felt his heart beating like a hammer in his chest, and he could barely hear his father’s patient instructions as blood rushed like a waterfall in his ears. He wanted to scream in fear, tear off his skis, run back to the lift, and ride back down in shame to the safety of the base. His father lowered the goggles perched on Erik’s head, and patted him through his hood.
“I believe in you.” His father’s breath on his cheek made him want to weep. “You’re my boy, Erik. I promise you’re going to love it. Once you stop being afraid, you won’t know how you lived without it. Plant your poles. Ready? Push!”
Erik pushed off, remembering not to keep his skis perfectly parallel, but tilted them toward each other, bending his knees and tucking his poles under his elbows as his father and brothers had instructed. Slow at first, but quickly picking up speed as he made his way down the hill.
He could hear his brothers shouting encouragement from the chairlift above him, and his father’s voice from not too far behind. “Yes, Erik! That’s my boy! That’s my boy!”
His shoulders relaxed, and he trusted his legs. His lips turned up in a proud smile, his hood fell onto his shoulders and then he felt it: the exhilarating rush of wind in his hair, just as his father had promised, as he whooshed down the small hill in a picture-perfect first run.
Arriving at the bottom, he lifted his goggles in time to see his father come to a stop beside him, snow flying up in a rooster tail around Erik like glitter, like confetti. He lifted his goggles and smiled at Erik, as he never had before.
“A Lindstrom!” he declared. “Let’s do it again!”
Erik’s chest swelled with pride as he followed his father back to the lift, and it occurred to him that Pappa was right about skiing: now that he wasn’t afraid anymore, he loved it, and he didn’t know how he would ever live without it again.
***
Next to Erik on the front seat sat a bouquet of yellow and blue irises that had been wrapped in cellophane and tied with an elegant blue and yellow bow: a Midsummer offering for his girl. He glanced at them, enjoying the rush of happiness that had accompanied thoughts of Katrin since leaving her on Monday morning.
It was as though a switch, deep and hidden inside of him had been flicked on, and he saw his whole world with a brightness, a sharper clarity, filtered through the eyes of a man who cared for a woman, with whom he was—now that he allowed himself to be—besotted.
He had called her last night to finalize their plans.
“Kat?”
“Yeah. Hey.” He could hear the smile in her voice and it made his heart thump-thump a little faster.
“Am I catching you at a bad time?”
“Nah. Just swinging with a book.”
“Wish I was there with you.”
“Me too.”
“How’re you feeling, Ӓlskling?”
“So much better. Really back to normal, but I’m still pretty blotchy.”
“Stop it. You’re beautiful.”
“I’m sorry…is this Erik Lindstrom?”
“I can’t call my girlfriend beautiful?”
“Talk about a full conversion!” He imagined her deep dimples as she rocked back and forth on the porch swing, cheeks pink with pleasure. “You can.”
“I miss you, Kat.”
“Well, not for much longer. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Mmm. I can leave at three. Should be to you by four-thirty. Choteau by seven-ish to meet the family. Does that sound okay?”
“Sounds perfect. Hey…”
“What?”
“Speaking of the families…mine and yours…”
“Yeah, they’re going to know we’re together. So what? I’m keeping my arm around you the whole time. Wouldn’t put it past Lars to make a play for you, Ӓlskling.”
“Really? Lars, huh? Let’s see…he’s the biggest of you three, right?”
“Nope. He’s very scrawny and super ugly and we don’t like to talk about it, but he has some very severe hygiene and mental issues.”
She giggled. “Okay. No Lars for Kat.”
“No Midten, only Minste.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this? Big changes for you, Minste.”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I keep waiting to feel uncomfortable or panicky or something…but I just don’t.” She didn’t say anything, so he continued. “I always thought that being in a relationship with someone would feel oppressive, caged. Like being suffocated or cornered—”
“Sweeping me off my feet here, Erik…”
“No, listen. That’s the whole point. That’s what I thought it would feel like. It doesn’t feel like that at all. It feels so good, it’s almost scary.”
“You’re a romantic. Admit it.”
He laughed softly, picturing her face in victory. “I admit it. With a caveat.”
“Which is?”
“I’ve become a romantic. It was the effect.”
“Of?”
“The cause. You.” She was silent for a long moment. “Kat? You still there?”
“I miss you. I wish you were here right now.” Her voice was thick, and it made his blood rush south.
“Yeah?”
“Mmm.”
He swallowed, trying to think straight, but he was good and distracted. “What, um…what would we—”
He thought that the sound she made was a laugh, but he wasn’t sure. It was low and breathy and made his insides turn hot and tense.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Minste.”
“Kat!”
“Mmm?”
He shook his head, frustrated not to be with her. “Nothing. Yeah, tomorrow.”
After hanging up, he’d actually thought about making the three-hour round-trip ride just for the chance to kiss her, even grabbing his keys and heading out to his car before talking himself out of it. He had to be at work ridiculously early in order to finish a full shift before leaving for the weekend. He’d barely get to see her before he’d have to turn back around.
Not to mention, if she was within touching distance, he wouldn’t get a second of sleep. He had stalked around his apartment for an hour before changing into sneakers and taking a midnight run. Even then, his body wasn’t giving up on the fantasies circling around in his head and he tossed and turned before finally falling asleep.
And now here he was, about to see her after three days that felt like three years. He pulled up in front of the clinic and smiled at the pink rolling suitcase sitting on the top step.
The door opened.
Little white sneakers sprinted down the steps toward him, and he met her on the walkway in front of the stairs. She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the ground, frantically finding her lips with his. His mouth slanted over hers again and again, and small sounds of pleasure rose from her throat, driving him crazy. She wound her fingers in his hair, grasping, then laced them around his neck, brushing the short hairs with her fingertips, making darts of pleasure rush up and down his spine as she slid down his body.
He kissed he
r, branding her, until his thirst and hunger were quenched, until he believed that—for now, at least—she belonged to him.
Finally she drew back. Unwilling to let her go, he kept his arms around her. She rested her cheek on his chest as it swelled up and down with the force of his breathing. Staring down at her blonde head, the word “love” hovered uncertainly in the recesses of his mind. He hushed it, pushed it gently away. For now, he was certain of just one thing, and it was enough to fill his heart to the brim:
Now that he wasn’t afraid anymore, he didn’t know how he’d ever live without her.
***
Katrin brought the bouquet to her nose and inhaled again.
Not one hundred percent sure what to expect of Erik-the-Boyfriend, her shoulders had bunched up in surprise and delight when she saw the happy, Swedish-colored flowers sitting on her seat.
“For me?”
“No, for José.” He rolled his eyes. “Yes, for you. Isn’t that what boyfriends do?”
She had touched his cheek with her palm, holding his eyes, willing herself not to cry. “Thank you,” she whispered.
If she was waiting to see indecision in Erik’s manner, it was becoming more and more apparent that something had changed inside of him. The man she’d met weeks ago with his derisive comments about commitment, who claimed an inability to give his heart to someone, was nowhere to be found.
Just as Erik had been able to change the course of his life by leaving his deeply entrenched life in Gardiner to start over with a new career in a new place, he was somehow able to leave his old fears about relationships and commitment behind, as well, or so it seemed. Just as he had embraced his life as a college student in Great Falls or an officer in Kalispell, he was similarly able to successfully change course emotionally and open his heart to Katrin.
For her part, Katrin had felt—had known, really—for some time that her heart was expanding to make room for Erik Lindstrom in her life.
The first time they touched, she’d felt the muscles of her heart contract and release. The first time he called her Ӓlskling she felt it, and again when he panicked in the park. She felt it again after his ridiculous proposition when he knelt before her and told her he couldn’t stop thinking about her, and later on top of Wild Horse when he woke up and murmured that she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, and again when he had murmured the words I like you too much before their disastrous dinner two weeks ago. In each of those moments her heart had expanded a little, and she felt it making room for something really big, really important.
But, it was last weekend, when she was so sick, that she felt her heart beating for him, only for him. Seeing him beside her when she woke up on Monday morning was the most loving, intimate moment she had ever shared with anyone in her entire life. Hearing him tell her that he was there for “us” and that he wanted “to be with her” were unfancy words made all the more precious by her firm comprehension of their cost to him. She knew with certainty that Erik had never offered himself to any other woman the way he offered himself to her, and she felt humbled and almost dazzled by the trust he placed in her, by how much his heart must have expanded to make a place for her too.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” He interrupted her happy thoughts.
“Sure. Anything.”
“I just want to be ready. When I came to see you last Sunday, I asked José why he didn’t call me when you were sick. I know you were mad at me, so I get it. But, I was really wondering about something he said. He said that I was a fool if I didn’t think Ingrid knew what was going on between us. So, I was just wondering…”
“…what I said to her.”
He nodded, and she noticed his fingers gripping then re-gripping the steering wheel.
“Okay,” she swallowed. “Well, you know you hurt me that night, Erik. I was sad when I got home. Ingrid’s one of my best friends. And family…”
“It’s okay. Whatever you said, I deserved it. Just tell me what to expect.”
Kat sighed, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “I said you were a commitment-phobe and that we were essentially dating but you wouldn’t admit it. I said I knew you had feelings for me but that you were acting like a jackass. I believe I called you pig-headed and I may have called you a coward.” Her voice got smaller as she continued. “I may have told her it was over between us.”
Erik glanced at her, eyes wide, then turned back to the road, rubbing his jaw uneasily with his thumb and forefinger. Hearing the word over must have hurt, because he winced. “Didn’t leave much to her imagination, huh?”
She swallowed again, hating this, hating herself for running to Ing with her pain and not giving Erik a chance to come around first. “I-I was hurt. I was embarrassed. And sad. How could I know you’d be able to change for me?”
He put his right hand down on the bolster between them. She covered it with her own, curling her fingers until they touched his palm and he curled his over hers. She ran her thumb gently back and forth over the top of his wrist.
“I’m sorry for hurting you, Kat.”
“I know you are.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry too, Erik. I ratted you out to Ing.”
He pulled her hand to his lips, and kissed it softly, then put both hands back on the wheel.
“Is she pretty mad?” he asked.
“She wasn’t thrilled.”
“Have you talked to her this week?”
“I have.”
“And?”
“I told her how sweet you were when I was sick and how we got things back on track.”
“And?”
“She advised extreme caution where you are concerned.”
“Uh-huh.” Erik nodded slowly, eyes on the road. “And your brother?”
She didn’t answer.
“Kat?” He glanced over at her, and she was cringing, shoulders dropped forward as she worried her hands on her lap. “Katrin, what about Kristian?”
“He’s very protective,” she mumbled.
Erik had been holding his breath and blew it out in a loud, exasperated sigh.
“Well.” He glanced over at her, his face aggressively sardonic. “This should be just great.”
Chapter 14
They had passed Kalispell, driven through Columbia Falls and were skirting the northern border of Flathead National Forest when Erik spoke again.
“We’re coming up on Lake McDonald. Want to get out and walk around a little? Stretch our legs?” Put off the inevitable moment when Ing gives me the stink-eye and Jenny has a lecture waiting?
“Sure. It’s only five-thirty. We’re making good time.”
“What’s on the agenda for tonight? I mean, other than Kristian’s fist attempting a connection with my jaw.”
“He wouldn’t!” She gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.
He might. Erik shrugged. Though he was a capable fighter when pushed, Erik would let Kristian get one good punch in. He deserved it. After that, however, Kris should back off, or Erik would fight back.
“He wouldn’t, Erik. He knows we’re together now.”
She was so trusting, so lovely and sweet and fine it made his heart ache. “Don’t worry about it, Ӓlskling.”
“I won’t forgive him if he hurts you.”
He glanced at her and grinned, turning into a parking area. “It’ll be okay.”
It was suddenly so quiet in the car, and they were the only car in the parking lot. Without the pressure to drive safely, there was only one thing he wanted to do.
He took her hand, turning it until her wrist faced him and he pressed his lips to the beating pulse there, closing his eyes against the delicate flutter beneath his lips, and then pulled her toward him, brushing his lips lightly across hers. His hands moved to cup her face lovingly, taking her upper lip between his, nipping and sucking on it gently before running his tongue lightly against the seam of her lips. She opened them and he found the tip of her tongue waiting to meet his, making the hairs on his arm stand u
p and the blood rush to his groin. He heard a growling sound rumble up from his throat as he moved his hands from her face down her arms to her waist, gripping to pull her closer, frustrated by the bolster between them. He finally released her lips, resting his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath.
“Where are you sleeping tonight?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
She leaned back to look at him, her face flushed, voice breathy. “Where are you sleeping?”
Wherever you are. And preferably not much actual sleeping. He swallowed, wishing she would lean her forehead back against his. “I don’t know. My Pappa and brothers have two rooms. So there’s space for me with them.”
She nodded, looking down. “My mom and the Kelleys are staying in the cottage. I could stay with them, I guess. On the couch or something. I didn’t make a reservation for my own room.”
“Me neither.”
“I could just go home. My apartment’s only twenty minutes away.”
“Oh.”
Her eyes snapped up to slam into his, and her tongue darted out to lick her lips. He watched it, fascinated, feeling his hot breath slow and deliberate on his own lips.
“So…”
“So, you’ll need a ride to your apartment later.”
“Mm-hm.” Her lips curved up.
“Kinda getting into this girlfriend thing.”
She chuckled lightly, moving to open her door. “C’mon Picket Fences, let’s go take a look at a lake.”
***
The sun was still high in the sky as they neared the Triple Peak Lodge, pulling into the parking lot a little after seven-thirty.
Erik looked at the lodge and whistled in appreciation. Never having visited, he was surprised by the sheer grandness of it. The lodge itself was a formidable building, made of thick logs and large boulders, but bearing a gentrified, elegant, imposing air. Settled in a valley, with acres of landscaped land surrounding the main building and three mountain peaks in the distance. He noticed small pointed-arrow signs indicating the direction of the pool, fitness center, trout pond, and helipad to the right of the lodge, and another sign reading simply “Cabins” to the left, indicating a brick pathway flanked with blooming flowers. Another arrow pointed straight ahead reading “Lodge,” and then below, the words Corral, Barn and—oddly—Paradise.