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“What the hell are you doing?” she hissed.
She lay glaring – but I could feel her fear too. Suddenly I was ashamed. “I’m sorry,” I said, rubbing my palm on my jeans. “You were asleep, and I had to know what you told Alex. ”
“Yeah? So why not ask him?”
“Because he left. He’s gone to the old AK camp. ”
Her good eye widened. “So there was something to it,” she murmured. “I wasn’t sure. ” Then she grabbed my arm. “Wait – you were able to read me? How come you could, when none of the angels could do it?”
I shook my head. “Alex said you must have been marshalled. Maybe it only works against full-blooded angels, or something. ” I cleared my throat, studying her bruises again and feeling saddened. “Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t have any right to read you while you were asleep. ”
Taking in my gaze, Kara’s lip curled. “You know what? Getting these was fun compared to dealing with your father. Give me a good, honest fistfight any day. Now get out. ”
She rolled onto her side, taking the IV cord with her. Realizing I was doing more harm than good, I left.
In the main room of the infirmary, I was standing slumped against the wall, trying to still my spinning thoughts, when Sam walked in.
He peered in at Kara through the small window in the door. “Oh, man, she looks awful,” he said in an undertone. “I just thought—”
“That you’d talk to her about why Alex left,” I finished. “I checked; she doesn’t know anything. ” I hesitated. “But Sam, this really doesn’t feel right. I mean, I don’t think I’m just being a worried girlfriend here. ”
He snorted. “Well, I’m sure as hell not being a worried girlfriend, and I don’t like this at all. Not one little bit. ”
“So…what do we do?”
Sam made a face. “I don’t know. Wait for now. See what happens. ”
I nodded reluctantly, because I wasn’t sure what to do either.
Somehow I got through the next few hours. “He’ll be fine,” Liz kept saying at breakfast. “Honestly, no one’s more competent than Alex. ”
I nudged at my oatmeal, hating the way it stuck gloppily to my spoon. “Yeah, you’re right,” I said, because I didn’t want to give words to what I was actually feeling.
He shouldn’t have gone. He shouldn’t have gone.
“Willow?” said Liz softly.
I rose and picked up my tray. “It’s almost time for my first class with Seb. ”
The room Seb and I held classes in was small; a dozen recruits sat on the floor, concentrating, with legs folded in lotus or semi-lotus positions. “Watch Willow’s angel while you move through the chakra points,” Seb instructed, lounging against the wall with his ankles crossed. “See how it fades and then comes back. ”
It was all so life-as-usual, when really nothing was. After class I found myself waiting by the door for Seb. I hadn’t done this in a very long time, but he didn’t look surprised.
My words tumbled out. “Seb, listen – before Alex left he started to say something about the earth’s energy field. What was that about, do you have any idea?”
“The earth’s energy field?” Seb repeated. I felt his sudden alarm as he reached past me to shut the door. “I don’t know…unless he thinks he can use it against the angels, maybe. ”
The earth’s energy was chaotic, untamed. Trying to harness it would be… I swallowed hard. “But that’s crazy. ”
Seb didn’t deny it. “Oh, madre mía, I knew we should have gone with him,” he muttered, pressing his fists against his forehead. “I could feel that he was lying about something—”
I froze. “He was?”
Seb looked startled. “Willow, I thought you must know – that he was only lying to the rest of us! The sense of it was buried, yes, but…”
“No! He told me to trust him – he asked me not to read him!” I closed my eyes and quickly found Alex’s warm, familiar presence. He was still driving; he was all right. For now.
But when I opened my eyes, dread crashed through me again like a tide. There was no way that I could just stay here and wait for his return – absolutely no way.
My heart was beating fast. “So, um – thanks,” I said to Seb, backing up a step. “I’ve got to go now. ”
His face was taut with concern. He touched my arm. “Willow—”
“I’ve got to go. ” I opened the door and stepped out into the corridor – and suddenly I was running for the garage as fast as I could, my sneakers pounding against the cement.
“Willow!” I heard Seb call.
I rounded a corner and collided with Sam. “Hey, whoa!” He grabbed me by the arms. “What’s going on?”
“Let me go!” I tried to shake him off; he held on tighter.
“No way, not until you tell me what’s happening!”
I was almost crying. “I’ve got to go after him! I’ve got to. Something’s wrong, Sam, really wrong!”
Seb caught up just as Sam let go of me, frowning. “Yeah,” Sam said, almost to himself. He rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’m coming too. ”
I hadn’t expected this, and the relief was enormous. With two of us driving, we could make better time. “We’ve got to hurry,” I said. Somehow I knew Alex wouldn’t take many breaks, even though he hadn’t slept.
Sam nodded. “Grab what you need. Meet me in the garage in fifteen minutes. ”
“I’m going too,” put in Seb.
“No, you’re not,” Sam said curtly. “We can’t all go; who’s gonna run the goddamn base?”
Seb glanced at me, his muscles tense – and my fear multiplied as I realized that he wanted to be there for me. He was afraid of what might happen if we were too late.
“Seb, you’ve got to stay – you’ve got our classes to teach, and Liz can’t do everything on her own,” I said in a rush, thinking I’d say anything to keep him here – anything to keep from sensing his fear the whole long drive.
He started to protest and then stopped, his eyes scanning mine. “Yes, fine,” he said tightly.
All at once I felt clammy with cold. “And, Sam, listen – tell Liz not to mention to Alex that we’re coming when he checks in. ”
Sam nodded grimly. Alex would not be thrilled if he found out. He might even deliberately try to lose us. Whatever his reasons for not wanting us there, they weren’t going to magically disappear if he heard we were on our way.
“Fifteen minutes,” Sam said again.
I was already jogging down the corridor. “Make it ten,” I called back.
For the rest of that day and all through the night, Sam and I took turns driving. We took the shattered Highway 93 out of Nevada, then picked up I-40 east, slicing across Arizona to New Mexico. Without discussing it, we stuck to the main roads for speed – we’d take our chances with any Eden staff we met.
From the set of Sam’s jaw and the tapping of his large, blunt fingers on the wheel, I knew he was as anxious as I was. Thankfully, he wasn’t the type who needed to make conversation – I couldn’t have handled small talk just then. We spoke only about the route or to ask if the other wanted a drink of water.
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