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Grey clouds were rolling in over the bruised peaks of the mountains. The breeze picked up; Alex felt cold even with his jacket. He chose his words carefully.
“The part of you that’s here is still twenty-one. I guess you always will be. But in the other world, you’re old enough to be Willow’s mother. ”
Though Miranda’s eyes stayed locked on his, he wasn’t really sure how much she was taking in. The wind tugged at his hair. Miranda sat as if in a bubble of protection, hair and clothes motionless.
“I never see Raziel any more,” she said finally. She nudged at a blade of grass. Her finger passed right through it. “He used to come here sometimes – I’d follow him, though he never knew. ”
“You mean the angels can’t see you?”
Miranda gave a wistful shake of her head. “I don’t know why, when we all want them to so badly…”
When Alex had first encountered the ghosts, he hadn’t sensed any energy from them, though he hadn’t spent much time trying. Attempting again now, he detected only a faint life energy from Miranda – just an echo, really, and more on the human world’s frequency than here. Maybe they could only be seen by humans, then.
“Raziel used to come to this city sometimes,” Miranda went on, nodding downward. “But now he never does, so I go somewhere else. It’s a special place, though. ” A fleeting smile. “I remember things there that make me happy. ”
“I’m glad. ” The words came out huskily. God, she was so much like Willow – or Willow was like her. Except Miranda seemed so much more vulnerable. Alex felt protective towards her for Willow’s sake – though it was kind of late for that now.
“It makes me feel clearer, talking to you,” Miranda said. Hesitantly, she continued, “In the other place – where I’m old enough to be Willow’s mother – I have trouble thinking sometimes. ”
“I know,” Alex admitted. “Willow told me. ”
Her face was tense, anxious. “How did I take care of her, then?”
Christ, what a question. “You did the best you could, I guess,” Alex said. But remembering how Willow had told him how much she’d dreaded going to school every day and leaving her mother alone, he knew that Miranda’s best hadn’t been great.
She seemed to realize this too. She winced, studying her hands clasped around her knees. “I know I didn’t do a very good job,” she whispered. “Before I met Raziel, I wasn’t like this. ”
“Yeah. I know that too. ”
“You do?” Her gaze collided with his again; she looked away, twisting the hem of her skirt. “I – I wonder sometimes…I mean, if Raziel had something to do with…” She swallowed. “But that’s crazy, isn’t it?”
Her voice was pleading, though Alex couldn’t tell what she wanted to hear. “It’s not crazy,” he said. “You’re not the only person who’s felt confused after meeting an angel. All the others here are the same. Plenty of people back home too. It’s…kind of a side effect. ” He’d never described angel burn so mildly in his life.
Miranda didn’t respond directly, though Alex had a feeling she’d understood. She gazed down at the city. “Is Willow all right?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. ”
“How do you know her? You haven’t said – or have you?”
“I’m a friend of hers. ” Explaining that Willow had had a serious boyfriend for over a year, when Miranda hadn’t even remembered that she had a daughter just a few minutes ago, seemed a bit much.
“She’s on her way to Pawntucket,” Miranda offered after a pause.
Alex straightened abruptly. “She’s what?”
“Pawntucket,” repeated Miranda. “We lived there for a long time. And it’s where…” She looked down; her cheeks tinged as she cleared her throat. “Anyway, she’s going there. ”
He’d thought Miranda was fairly lucid; now he was starting to doubt it. “Are you sure?”
“Oh, yes,” she said. “I can feel it. It’s something to do with Raziel – I think maybe he’s going there too. ” She gave a crooked smile. “See, I told you that talking to you made me feel clearer. ”
Pawntucket, thought Alex dazedly. Why the hell would Willow be going there if Raziel was? What sort of trap was he building?
A light rain had started. “She’s been very sad, you know,” added Miranda, unaffected by the weather. “For a long time. ”
“Yeah?” murmured Alex, still distracted by Pawntucket – and then the words sank in. Oh Christ, that must mean that she couldn’t sense him here; she must think he was dead. His heart wrenched in his chest as he imagined her going through that.
Alex started to ask how she was and then stopped, alarmed to see Miranda looking faint around the edges again. Her form and voice wavered as she said, “All these people who are confused… Maybe – maybe it would be better if that hadn’t happened to them. I mean…even if that meant they couldn’t see how beautiful the angels are. ”
Alex watched her sharply. Keeping his voice casual, he said, “That’s what Willow thinks too. So do I. A lot of us are trying to make it so that people aren’t confused by the angels any more. ”
To his relief, Miranda turned more substantial again. “You are?”
“Yeah. ” Alex swiped his hand through his hair; it was heavy with damp. “That’s why I’m here. I was trying to use the energy field to defeat them. It didn’t work, though. Now I’m just trying to get home. ”
Solid once more, Miranda crinkled her nose at him. “You were trying to use the angels’ energy field? But that’s impossible. ”
Great – it was obvious even to a confused, drifting ghost. “Thanks, I found that out,” he said dryly.
“Because you’re human,” Miranda explained earnestly, as if pleased to be able to help. “The energy field here is very strong, but very exact. You can sense things with it, but you can’t use it like the angels do unless you belong here – it wouldn’t let you. ” After a pause, she said thoughtfully, “Willow could, though. ”
The world felt suddenly electric. Of course: Willow, with her half-angel energy. Alex propped his weight on one hand, leaning close to Miranda.
“There’s another half-angel in our world too,” he said intensely. “Could he help her?”
“Does he have someone here?”
Alex frowned, not seeing the relevance. But Seb’s mother was dead, and as far as Alex knew, there was no one else Seb had ever been close to with angel burn. He shook his head. “No. He’s alone. ”
“I don’t think so, then,” Miranda said, her voice musing. “Because trying it would be such a jolt, you see. But I’m here for Willow, and she has someone in her own world who she could mentally hold on to there, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah,” said Alex faintly, sinking back into place on the wet grass. “Yeah, she does. ”
Willow: Paschar’s vision that she was the one who could destroy the angels – her, and no one else. This was how. Oh Jesus, this was how.
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