The Inside Man: A Dublin Nights Novel

by Sahin, Brittney

  “McGregor.” My name barked out in Sebastian’s thick brogue didn’t slow me. I couldn’t stop. I was on the verge of yelling, of destroying this bag and knocking it down from where it hung.

  Anger.

  So much vile and intense wrath consumed me.

  Luca Moreau didn’t deserve to breathe. He should be dead.

  “McGregor!” A hand on my shoulder had me whirling around, fist still flying. I clocked Sebastian in the jaw before I even knew what happened.

  Sebastian hadn’t even blocked my swing. I must have taken him by surprise, and hell, I’d taken myself by surprise.

  He brought a hand to his jaw and rubbed where my knuckles connected. I let out an angry breath and lifted my palms in apology. “Sorry, I wasn’t feckin’ thinking.”

  His lips curved into a devious smile. “That’s the edge you need.” Sebastian pointed a finger at my chest. “Whatever is going on inside, bring that with you the next time we go out for a meeting.” His hand went to my shoulder. “Nice punch, by the way.”

  “You okay?” Alessia’s voice was soft, and I assumed the question was directed at her brother since he’d taken a wicked blow to the face. But no, when I looked up, her worried gaze was on me.

  I shook off the pent-up shite going on inside of me that Sebastian wanted me to cling on to, to call up when necessary. But I had to let go of it with Alessia standing there.

  “I’m fine.” I was still breathing hard from beating up the heavy bag. “You brought your own gloves?” I peered at the thin blue MMA-style gloves on her hands.

  Alessia stared down at her hands as if in a daze, then looked back up at me when Sebastian left us alone. She caught me by surprise by bracing my already slick-with-sweat bicep.

  She had on a black cotton tank top paired with gray yoga pants. Bare feet. Toenails painted black. That was new.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, following her hand to my arm since she was still holding on to me but not speaking.

  Her mouth pinched tight, then she nodded and let go of me. She quickly turned, offering the perfect view of her backside. Her slender waist led to curvaceous hips and a fit, tight bum, and I wanted to grab hold of her arse cheeks.

  We were there to teach her and Holly how to defend themselves from the scum of the city, not for me to fantasize about stripping her down to nothing and taking her against the wall.

  “It might be a good idea if you learned how to protect yourself,” I said. “I mean, one of us will always be around, but you never know.”

  Sebastian never would’ve thought his best friend would betray him by faking Alessia’s death and hiding her away in a prison in Russia, so we had to be prepared for any situation.

  “Your brother is a good teacher.” I coughed into a closed fist, hoping to keep my dick under control. “I know you’ve never liked fighting.”

  “Unless it’s in a movie.” She faced me, a near smile gracing her lips, and it was amazing to see. “You know I love action flicks.”

  “And romance.”

  Her eyes moved over my body as if appreciating the sight. I was in black workout shorts and a gray, loose-fitting tee. I wasn’t one of those guys who liked to wear a shirt a size too small to try and show off muscles.

  “The tattoo.” She squatted to observe the ink on my leg. I’d forgotten she hadn’t seen it yet.

  It was similar to Sebastian’s League mark, but instead of the Norse serpent dragons surrounding a Celtic knot, there was a Celtic cross similar to the one around Alessia’s neck.

  She remained crouched as her eyes lifted to meet mine. I swallowed, what else could I do? I was staring stupidly at the woman I’d always loved, and I was unable to formulate words with her heated gaze on me. Her face was way too close to my cock, and I was worried if I moved, if I breathed, it might leap to attention.

  But holy hell, when she wet her lips, her eyes dipping to my crotch, I was done.

  Her cheeks took on a rosier hue as she pushed upright, allowing me to secure a hand on her arm so she wouldn’t lose her balance.

  Why did she have to smell like a mix of sweet and spice? My want for her was becoming more than I could handle.

  Wicked thoughts kicked around in the back of my mind, playing out all the naughty things we might do together.

  “You sleep okay last night?” I asked, my voice almost breaking as I worked to control the blood rushing to the wrong head.

  “I never sleep well.” Her eyes closed for a moment as if chiding herself for weakness or for speaking so truthfully. The hurt in her voice effectively killed my arousal.

  “Friday. Will you have dinner with me?” It was Valentine’s Day, and the idea of us spending it away from each other when we were finally in the same city made no sense.

  She avoided my eyes and said, “I, um.”

  “Think about it?” I let go of her shoulder when Sebastian called us over to the blue mats. “I couldn’t imagine spending the night with anyone else.”

  “Spending the night?” A dark brow lifted.

  “The evening.” A pause. “Dinner, I mean.” I used to be smooth. What happened to me?

  She blushed. “I’ll consider it.”

  Better than a no. “Thank you.”

  We walked over to the fighting area where Emilia, Holly, and Sebastian were gathered.

  “I want to show you something.” Emilia whipped her long hair into a ponytail as Alessia did the same. “Watch.”

  “Watch what?” Alessia stepped forward next to me, and I had no idea what was about to happen.

  Sebastian charged Emilia and took an unexpected swing. She not only ducked and missed it, but she also swept her leg and caught Sebastian, dropping him on his arse with a loud thud.

  Well . . . the man wasn’t invincible.

  They continued to go back and forth, and it was an impressive sight to see Emilia holding her ground. She took punches from Sebastian, and she gave them right back to him. Emilia had protection on, of course, or Sebastian would never have hit her, but still. The woman was tough.

  “Wow,” Holly whispered as she came to stand at my side.

  Emilia planted her hands on her hips a few minutes later and faced us while Sebastian downed some water, tired from the matchup. “A woman can go against a man twice her size. In fact, our size and more graceful movements can help us deflect and avoid much more effectively.”

  “I doubt I’ll ever be as good as you.” Holly laughed as Sebastian approached her and slung an arm around her shoulders, holding her tight to his side.

  My hand went to the small of Alessia’s back, which had been my customary response in the past when she was near, and she didn’t flinch or jerk away from my touch. I’d consider that progress.

  Emilia flicked her wrist, motioning for Alessia to step into the fighting ring. “You’re next.”

  Alessia’s eyes fell to the floor. She was nervous. “You don’t have to do this.” I faced her, worry clawing inside of me.

  She looked over at Emilia, who gave her a tight nod. “I’ll be okay.” She took tentative steps to get into the ring, and my heart was in my throat with worry.

  “Now,” Emilia said with a smile, “let’s show these men how it’s done.”

  Chapter Eight

  Cole

  Every morning before work, we met at Adam’s gym to train, and Alessia and Holly were showing real progress. After dinner, we’d train again. Hit Sebastian’s private off-the-grid firing range, as well. Today had been Alessia’s fifth day, and honestly, I was a bit gobsmacked by her natural talent and progression. Then again, she was Sebastian’s sister, so maybe it ran in her blood?

  Alessia holding a Glock, though, and shooting targets hadn’t been a sight I’d ever thought I’d see. But I was beginning to think sparring and shooting would give her back some of the confidence Luca stole from her.

  Unfortunately, she’d barely spoken to me in the last several days. She remained focused on training. No mention of the first letter, or whether I’
d be getting a second. And no answer about dinner for Valentine’s, which happened to be tomorrow.

  I was starting to get used to my new routine. Training, then going out with Sebastian at night to deal with the filth on the streets. I even had a few informants now. And Saturday, we’d hopefully snag J.J.’s arms dealer, Ronan.

  Each night had gone pretty damn well. I was getting stronger. More intimidating. Living up to the name of a League leader. Tonight hadn’t gone quite as planned, though.

  At the sound of the doorbell, I maneuvered around the stacks of untouched boxes in my flat to get to the door.

  I swung it open to find the woman Sebastian had sent me. “Hi, thanks for coming here so fast and at night. Sebastian says you’re good.”

  The nurse had to be in her mid-twenties. Close in age to Alessia. “It’s my pleasure.” She entered my flat, her medical kit in hand, and I locked the door behind her.

  She followed me into the master, which was still unfurnished aside from the bed I’d only recently had delivered. I’d been sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

  “Just move in?” she asked as we entered the en suite.

  “Sort of. I’ve been too busy to unpack.” I unbuttoned my dress shirt and tossed it, and her eyes lingered over the ripple of my flesh. My body had more muscle than before. I’d always been in shape, but I was tougher now thanks to Sebastian’s training.

  Her pink lip sank between her teeth, and she blinked a few times before pulling her focus up to my face. “Your body is just like Sebastian’s.”

  I didn’t know about that, but if I was going to become “The Deal Maker” I guess I needed to be ripped.

  “Don’t worry. He and I have never . . .” She blushed. “I just stitch him up.”

  “Good to know. His wife is my cousin,” I said in case she ever decided to flirt with him.

  She set her kit on the marble countertop and began washing her hands. Her eyes went to the mirror, catching mine as I removed the blood-soaked bandage at my side.

  The doped-up drug dealers wielding their knives like machetes were becoming a pain in my arse. They didn’t seem to give a damn about The League, and tonight, Sebastian and I had been outnumbered. I didn’t want to shoot anyone, so we fought them all off, but I was given a parting gift—a nice slice at my side.

  “You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” she asked while examining the wound.

  “Nah, I’m good. It’s better if we keep this kind of stuff out of the public eye.” I didn’t need anyone to know someone got to me. It’d be bad for this rep I was trying to build as League leader.

  “Right. Okay. Let’s get you some sutures.”

  “One second.” I went into the living room, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, then returned. “Now, you can start.”

  She chuckled. “You definitely remind me of Sebastian.”

  Great. I braced the counter at my side with one hand while bringing the bottle to my lips with the other.

  I scowled when her needle pricked my skin, and she laughed again.

  “Yup, just like him.” Her voice was light. A little flirtatious, too, and I wondered how Holly would feel about this woman working on her husband.

  “When was the last time you helped Sebastian?” I couldn’t help but ask, my curiosity piqued. I was a bit defensive when it came to my family.

  “Not for a bit. Summer of last year, maybe?”

  Okay, good. Before Holly.

  “Don’t worry. As much as I’d love to get into bed with that man, I’m not a homewrecker.” She lifted her green eyes my way.

  “Almost done?” I asked, which was dumb because she’d just started.

  “Maybe if you didn’t distract me so much with those eyes of yours.”

  My eyes? Sure. She went back to working at the wound, and I pounded down more Tennessee Whiskey.

  I’d been to Nashville once. With Alessia.

  She’d gotten tickets to see some country singer perform, and she asked me to go. She’d only been eighteen, still in high school, and even though I wasn’t a country music fan, I wasn’t about to let her go there alone.

  When she’d exited her hotel room in preparation for the concert in a short jean skirt, cowboy hat, and boots, I’d nearly fallen over.

  The whole time at the concert, as she belted the lyrics, singing along with whatever his name was, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Glistening skin. Eyes twinkling. Bright white teeth flashing with a broad smile.

  Alone in Nashville with her, and I hadn’t made a move.

  In my defense, she had still been in high school, and I’d already graduated from college.

  But honestly, I was afraid she needed more time. More time to handle me—the man I’d become over the years . . . she didn’t know everything about me.

  If only I had told her the truth about how I felt when she was nineteen, or even twenty, we’d be in a much different place now.

  “You okay there, love?” The nurse had finished, and I hadn’t noticed. Stitched and covered with a bandage.

  “Just thinking,” I answered solemnly.

  Her hand went to my chest, a red nail circling my right pec. “Are you as naughty in the bedroom as you look to be?”

  Yes, and that was the problem.

  “You should go now.” I removed her hand from my chest.

  There was only one woman I ever wanted touching me again.

  “You sure?” she asked in a suggestive tone.

  The woman should have come with a warning label. I’d be needing a new nurse, and frankly, Sebastian ought to get a new one, too.

  “Yes, I’m sure.” I snatched a fresh shirt as the doorbell rang. It couldn’t have been Sebastian coming to check on me, well, unless the nurse was a test. He wanted to see how much I loved his sister to make sure I never broke her heart. I wouldn’t put it past the guy. “Thank you for fixing the wound, but you should pack up and head out.”

  I didn’t check for a pout. I wasn’t interested. Zero attention in my trousers, either.

  I opened the door without checking first, my shirt still in hand.

  “Oh.”

  That little “oh” from Alessia had me wondering what other sounds she’d make when I filled her, when I plunged deep inside of her. And now my cock was awake and ready.

  “Hi.” I lifted my arm to check the watch on my wrist. “It’s late.” I stepped back and put on my black tee. “You okay?”

  She remained glued to the floor in the hallway. “I never gave you my answer about tomorrow.”

  The fact she’d chosen to show up in person as opposed to shooting me a quick text gave me hope she wasn’t going to turn me down.

  “I’m still not ready to talk too much about what happened, but—” Her words vanished, and I tracked her gaze to the nurse now behind me.

  Perfect timing. Of course.

  “I didn’t realize you weren’t alone.” Alessia hastily turned away, but I stepped into the hall and snatched her wrist.

  “It’s not what you think.”

  She went still but didn’t face me.

  “Sebastian sent her here.” Shite. That sounded bad.

  The nurse squeezed past us. “Call if you need me again.” Her eyes went to Alessia before she walked toward the lift.

  “Please, don’t go,” I begged. “She was stitching me up. She’s a nurse,” I rushed out, needing her to understand.

  I didn’t want her thinking for even one second I was screwing some other woman.

  “Nurse?” She slowly faced me, eyes wide, and I dropped her wrist. “I thought I saw a bandage on your side, but you put your shirt on so fast.”

  I nodded. “I got cut, and Sebastian prefers to keep that kind of stuff discreet. No hospitals.”

  “It’s late for a nurse.”

  “Drug dealers tend to do shady business at night.” I smiled because I didn’t know what else to do. The idea she’d run from me again because of a misunderstanding was more than I could wrap my head around right no
w. I’d lost her too many times. I wouldn’t lose her tonight.

  “Are you okay?” Her eyes moved to my side where I’d been stabbed.

  “I’ll be fine. Had enough whiskey to try and numb the pain.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to deal with this. It’s not fair.” Her shoulders sloped, guilt touching her eyes.

  I stepped forward, my hand going for her wrist again, the need to touch her overwhelming.

  “I should probably go.”

  “You, um, didn’t give me an answer,” I reminded her.

  “You sure you think it’s a good idea?” Her eyes found mine. “And you won’t press me about my past?”

  “If you’ll forgive me for what I did, then yes.” And forgive me for the kind of man I became in the years you’ve been gone.

  Her forehead creased in surprise. “Forgive you? It’s me who needs forgiveness.”

  I shook my head. How could she not see the truth? “I pushed you away. I fecked up.” My stomach twisted. “I let you go. It’s all my fault.” My thumb made small circles on her wrist where I continued to hold her, not letting go.

  “You don’t owe me any apologies.” Her mouth briefly tightened. “I’m not the person you once knew. And I don’t know if I can ever be her again.” Red advanced up her neck to her cheeks at her honesty. I’d take the truth over her silence any day. But I wasn’t sure if she was prepared to handle the truth about me.

  “I don’t think any of us are who we were back then,” I confessed. “You don’t need to pretend with me. You never need to pretend.” My free hand made a fist and went over my heart. “It’s beeping hard and fast,” I whispered, trying to remind us both of the people we were before she left New York. I think we both needed it. “And for you.” My throat thickened as a lump formed. “Always.”

  She pulled her wrist free of my grasp and placed her palm on my cheek. “And what if you learned something about me that may change everything?”

  “There’s nothing I could ever learn that’d—”

  She brought her finger to my lips, silencing me. “You don’t know,” she whispered, her eyes growing glossy. “What I’ve done is . . . I just can’t . . .” A tear rolled down her cheek, and she dipped her hand into her back pocket and produced a folded yellow sheet of paper.