“Cole.”
Damn. I’d woken her up.
“Yes. It’s me. You’re okay.” I relaxed my hold of her, and she slowly turned to face me, her palms going to my chest. I pulled my one arm back but positioned my other hand on her hip. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come to me again.”
I hated she’d been sleeping alone since she got home in December, and I hadn’t been here to help sooner. “Please, don’t say that. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you.”
Except honor her one request—not kill.
That ship had sailed as soon as I witnessed her scars.
I would cross that line. Become a killer. And I’d like it.
I brushed my thumb over her cheek, stealing one of her tears. “The nightmares started a few weeks ago. I haven’t been sleeping well since then.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She sniffled, her focus diving to her palms on my chest. “Are you naked?” A smile crept to her lips.
“I was about to hop in the shower when I heard you crying. I have a towel on.”
Her eyes moved to my face, and a glimmer of something unexpected was there—lust. Or maybe I was losing my mind because I was in bed with Alessia, something I hadn’t done before. Not ever.
“You’ve never slept next to me. Best friends, but never—”
“I always wake up hard as a rock. The idea of you waking up next to me, my dick poking you . . . it was a risk I couldn’t take when we were younger.”
“Oh.” Her mouth rounded in understanding.
“And if I felt you in my arms, I was worried I’d wind up groping you even while sleeping.” The feel of her soft skin. Her full tits. Her hips and arse. Yeah, that would’ve been a bad idea.
Just thinking about it right now had me going hard, and didn’t I feel like a world-class arsehole given the reason I’d come to her bed in the first place.
“You’re thinking about touching me right now, aren’t you?” Her tone was all kinds of sexy, but at least the nightmare had lost its grasp of her, that was something.
Her beautiful face was bruised, her nose still slightly swollen, and one arm was mottled with purple marks. And here we were, our focus slipping to our attraction for each other as we sidestepped reality.
“Your hands are on my bare chest, and your nipples are poking through your top, so it’s really difficult not to,” I confessed, my pulse pounding.
I’d gone from contemplating murder to thinking about burying my tongue in her mouth, among other places. I couldn’t stop the thoughts from spilling into my head, and the reactions in my body were immediate.
“I saw you once.” Her brows knitted. “In the shower.” A touch of red swept to her cheeks. I’d take the blush and the smiling any day to the thrashing in bed from a nightmare. Whatever I could do to take away her pain and distract her—I was game. “I came over, and you were in your shower. Hand wrapped around your, um.” Her teeth sunk into her lip. Provocative and so damn sexy.
Was she trying to distract herself from the nightmare and what happened last night, or distract me from thinking about it?
“Your side was to me. Palm on the tiled wall. Head bowed. Water spraying over you. It was the hottest thing I’d seen in my life.”
My mouth went bone-dry at her words. She’d seen me jerk off? How would I ever get that thought out of my head? Okay, maybe I didn’t need to. We were two consenting adults now. But the timing, damn it.
“That’s the image I used almost every time I touched myself.”
I hadn’t thought it possible, but I became even stiffer. I nearly brought her palm to my cock, so she’d feel how hard she’d made me with only her words.
“You know,” she began, “I may have owned and managed a nightclub with Sebastian after I left New York, but I wasn’t promiscuous. I’m sure that’s the image you may have conjured up about me.”
“Does anyone even use that word anymore?” I joked, needing to change the subject.
Alessia leaving New York and losing her virginity to someone else was all my fault, and I didn’t want to think about that right now.
“I just wanted you to know I didn’t sleep around. Hell, I’ve never even given a blowjob.”
I did my best not to bury my fingertips into her hip as I propped my head onto my other palm, elbow on the bed.
Just the thought of her with another man was enough to make me want to kill any bloke who’d ever even set eyes on her. I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt when Luca had given her pictures of other women and me.
“You don’t need to explain anything.” Please, God, don’t. But I wouldn’t beg. If she needed to open up, I’d let her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I guess I just wanted you to know you’ve always been the one for me. The only one I’ve wanted.”
And I loved this woman. Damn, did I ever. Time hadn’t dented my feelings for her.
“You should also know that I was planning on reaching out to you. I’d made up my mind that I couldn’t go my entire life without you, but every time I got the nerve to call, I was worried Sebastian’s world would endanger you.” She closed her eyes and dipped her chin to her chest. But I saw the guilt on her face as if she blamed herself for every failed attempt to call me.
I tipped her chin back up, but she refused to look at me.
“I never got the chance to reach out because of what Luca did. I’m so sorry.”
“Please, don’t apologize. I should have found you. I tried to—”
“And I told Sebastian not to let anyone find me.” Tears rolled down her face at the admission. “I was trying to protect you, though. I promise.”
So, she had known.
“Look at me,” I pleaded, my heart hurting, beating fiercely. “The past is the past.” But was it? We were all dealing with the consequences of our pasts, especially because of Luca.
“I wish it were that easy.” Her wet lashes lifted, and she stared into my eyes. I couldn’t even formulate words with her glossy gaze on me.
I wanted a kiss for every day she’d been out of my life and then more.
My hand went from her chin to her cheek, and she reached around to brace my arm and lightly squeezed my muscle. “Kiss me,” she cried.
I felt her pain. I was soaking up as much of it as possible because I could handle the pain. I’d take all of hers if she’d only give it to me. If she’d only open up and let me know what really happened in that prison.
“Are you sure?” She’d been punched in the face last night, I didn’t want to hurt her with a kiss, and I also didn’t know if I’d be able to be as gentle as needed with all the emotions I was dealing with right now.
“Yes.” Her short nails bit into my bicep now. Hard, then harder.
I growled against her lips as I pulled her bottom lip between my teeth before slipping my tongue into her mouth.
Her hand went between us, and I was too dazed by her mouth on mine to notice she was working the towel free.
When her hand touched the root of my shaft and squeezed, I pulled my mouth from hers to take in the sight as she moved her hand up and down. “Alessia.”
This wasn’t the time. She’d been attacked last night. I’d seen her scars from wounds she wasn’t ready to talk about.
But how the hell would I stop her, especially when it appeared as though she needed the distraction of this moment even more than me?
“Let me touch you like I’ve always wanted to,” she whispered, sensing my indecision.
I crashed my mouth back with hers as she pumped my hard length, the blood rushing through my body and to every nerve fiber in my being.
I wasn’t going to last long. I probably wouldn’t even last a few minutes.
Her tongue skirted my lower lip as she used the precum from my head to make my cock wet as she stroked and stroked.
“Alessia,” I croaked, gasping in a breath to keep from blowing my load as her t
ongue slipped back into her mouth.
I needed to touch her, too. I needed to feel her soft skin. Her slickness. I kept my mouth on hers while attempting to get us into the right position when the sound of Sebastian’s voice caused us both to freeze.
“What the fuck?”
We were under the blanket, so he couldn’t see his sister jerking me off—thank God—but yeah, this wasn’t going to go well.
I went tense as Alessia released her hold of me in one fast movement and sat upright, clutching the bedspread to her fully clothed body as if she was naked.
“You didn’t answer the door. It’s nine in the morning. I got worried.” Sebastian had his back to us now, his hands on his hips.
Her bedroom door had been open since I’d sprinted in when I heard her crying from her nightmare.
My cock had been on the verge of exploding, but I did my best to sit upright next to Alessia, bringing my back to the headboard, lap covered. My naked chest on display.
“She was attacked last night,” Sebastian said while slowly facing us again. “Are you serious right now?” he rasped, his rage pointed my way.
I didn’t blame him.
What in the hell had I been thinking?
I guess I hadn’t been.
“It’s not his fault,” Alessia came to my defense.
I knew she wouldn’t want her brother knowing about the nightmares. She wouldn’t want him worrying any more than he already did, but she was going to tell him to try and protect me, and I couldn’t have her doing that.
“I’d been about to take a shower,” I explained, “and I thought I heard something. I came in to check on her—”
“And fell into bed with your lips on my sister?” Sebastian roared. “I know how you feel about each other, I just didn’t expect . . .” He let his words trail off, unable to work them loose.
I’m sure if I’d come home to see my sister in bed with someone, I’d lose my bloody mind, too, especially if she’d been through the wringer like Alessia.
“I have news. I’ll be in the living room.” He slammed the door shut behind him, and Alessia buried her face in her palms.
“Your brother catching you jerking me off wasn’t on my bucket list,” I kidded, doing my best to alleviate some tension.
“I’m so sorry.” Her cheeks were red. The purple around her eye more prominent.
I shifted off the bed and secured the towel back around my hips. My dick now soft. My balls really, really damn blue. I came around the bed to stand as she got up.
“I’m going to shower and try and rinse off this embarrassment.” She frowned, and I hated seeing her unhappy.
“I should probably get dressed and go face him.” I’d have to do the walk of shame through the living room to get to my clothes. That’d be fun.
“He won’t kill you.”
“Probably not.” I forced a smile. “Maybe this is better. He knows about us.” And there was an us. There’d always been an us, we just had to find our way back to each other.
“There will be an us.”
I cocked my head to the side, waiting for her to say more, to elaborate and explain the “will” part of her statement, but when her gaze fell to the floor, it was clear she wasn’t ready to go on.
“Go ahead and shower,” I offered, giving her a way out of this conversation.
She nodded and turned her back. I tossed a hand through my hair, messing it up, then took a deep breath in preparation to go face the devil.
* * *
“Why won’t Emilia let us talk to Luca? I don’t understand. Can’t you make her take us to his prison?” I folded my arms across my chest as I stared at Sebastian as if I’d always been The League leader, and I’d been born for this role.
He hadn’t mentioned his awkward arrival, and I did my best to act like it’d never happened. I’d changed into a plain black long-sleeved shirt and jeans, deciding the towel was less than ideal to talk to him because you know, I’d prefer to keep my face away from Sebastian’s knuckles outside of training.
“Emilia’s not even allowed to know the location of The League prison.”
“You knew yours,” I shot back at the memory. Hell, it was mine now, but Sebastian had thought it best if I didn’t know the location.
“I was a fixer before I became a leader. I ran the prison, that’s why.” He shook his head, clearly as upset as I was at having to follow the rules. “Emilia’s fixer is one of the best. He’ll get the information we need out of Luca. He’ll find out if he’s behind this.” His voice had become steadier, but he didn’t know about the scars, and I wasn’t sure how to start that conversation. I wasn’t even supposed to know.
“Feck League rules,” I hissed. “Talk to Moreau. Tell him what his nephew did.” Luca’s uncle, the leader of France, had a lot of weight in The League as one of the founding members.
“I already called him, but we need to let Emilia’s fixer handle this. He’s very skilled at getting people to talk. If Luca set things into motion, he’ll find out, and we’ll put an end to it.”
“How do you know he’s so good?” I asked.
“Because I trained him.” His brows lifted as if waiting for me to challenge him again.
“Luca has to die,” I finally said what was really on my mind. “Alessia won’t ever be the same until he’s gone.”
Sebastian took two quick strides toward me. “What are you saying?”
“She’s rattled by what happened.” I had to try and cover up the truth I’d nearly dropped. “As long as he’s alive, how can she ever move on?”
“She’s a fighter. Look what she’s endured. She will get better. I have to believe that.” His face was close to mine.
He was angry again.
He wanted to unleash.
To take out his pain on someone, and he appeared to be on the verge of choosing me as a target.
He was probably also still pissed I’d been in bed with his sister when he showed up. He may have approved of us being together, but the man didn’t want to actually see us together, especially right after she was attacked.
“Don’t argue.”
Alessia’s words had both of us turning toward her, our shoulders relaxing, apology in our stances for yelling loud enough to disturb her.
“We were just talking.” Sebastian crossed the room to get to her.
She looked refreshed in skinny jeans and a cream-colored jumper. Her hair hung wavy and damp over her shoulders. A little makeup on her face to try and disguise the bruise around her eye.
I cleared my throat, drawing her eyes. “Emilia’s fixer is going to interrogate Luca. We’re not allowed to go.”
“Oh.” Something that looked like relief moved over her face. Did she think I’d kill Luca if I was given the chance? “What about London? Are you still going on Friday?”
London. How was I going to leave her, and with this situation unfinished?
I wasn’t sure if we’d find the men who attacked her by then. And what if Luca had already arranged for more people to go after her?
“I don’t know yet. We’ll change our plans if we have to. Your safety is what’s important,” Sebastian answered.
“You can’t put my well-being ahead of others’. You both need to stop doing that. I can take care of myself.” She looked back and forth between the two of us, her hand going to the column of her throat in search of her necklace. “The sooner you all take down The Alliance, the sooner we can all go on with our lives.” She dropped her hand to her side at the realization she wouldn’t find the chain around her neck. “Please, don’t cancel.”
Sebastian turned toward me. “We’ll see what Emilia’s fixer has to say and then go from there. I can’t leave Holly alone, either.”
“And for now, what do we do?” Alessia folded her arms. “I have no intention of hiding out in this room.” She lifted her chin. Her stubborn defiance on display. “I’m going to the club tonight. We have a huge act, and I need to be there.” She raised a palm in
the air when Sebastian pivoted to catch her eyes. “Before you say you’ll handle it, you need to stay by Holly’s side and protect her. If someone goes after her and you’re at the club—you’ll never forgive yourself.”
She had a point, but she was attacked last night. Was she seriously thinking about work right now?
“I can go to the club,” I offered when I knew Alessia wouldn’t back down. We had a few more criminals to deal with in the city, but they could wait. “And we’ll get extra security.”
“I’ll reach out to Adam and the others, too. They need to know there might be a risk to anyone connected to me if Luca’s involved.” The apology remained in his eyes even after he spoke. “He’s the one person who doesn’t give a shite about our order that the McGregors and Alessia are off-limits to criminals.”
Jesus. Adam and Anna just had a baby, and Braden and Anna would be in the hospital for a bit longer. The last thing they needed to worry about was someone attacking them there.
I had no idea what to expect from Luca, though. The worst, I supposed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“This isn’t your fault.” Sebastian reached for her forearm. “I can’t lock you away, but I also can’t lose you again. Please, be careful.”
Her long lashes lifted, and she set a palm on top of his hand, a noticeable attempt to come across as “okay” when damned if she was clearly anything but.
“I’ll, uh, walk you out,” I said to Sebastian after they exchanged a few more words.
I shut the door behind me so we were in the hall alone.
“Before you apologize—”
“I wasn’t going to,” I cut Sebastian off, and his brows tightened in surprise. “I want to know the truth. Why aren’t we really going to meet with Luca? I know you. You’d find a way around the rules. That’s who you are.”
His eyes went to the ceiling, and he blew out a breath. “I’ll kill him if I see him, and Holly made me promise not to. But if she’s not there to walk me away from that ledge, I won’t be able to stop myself.” His gaze returned to mine, anger glinting in his irises. “I’d choke him to death, and it’d feel really good to watch him die.”
The Inside Man: A Dublin Nights Novel Page 16