“The prison was tougher than I let on.” I set my hand on his shoulder, and he braced my hips, his hands skimming the hemline of my black lacy panties. “I’m sorry for keeping this from you, but I didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want you to kill Luca after you saw the scars.”
He lifted his dark eyes up to my face. A swirl of anger and pain present. “Did he do this to you?” His words were so low and deep they cut through me.
“In a way, yes, but he wasn’t physically responsible.”
He remained on his knees, his face so close to my belly button that I felt his warm breath exhale sharply at my answer. My muscles tightened, my body wishing he was in this position for an entirely different reason. “He liked to make the inmates fight. He’d pair men and let them go at it in a makeshift ring. Sometimes he’d fight. He would throw a knife into the ring just to change things up a bit. A few people even died.”
He closed his eyes, his jaw locking tight, his hands flexing on my body. His touch scorching hot. “He made you fight?” he asked in shock. Or maybe it was anger. Disgust. All of the above.
I nodded, but he couldn’t see the movement, so I whispered, “Yes, but Luca, in his perverse nature, always stepped in, usually seconds before someone killed me.” I’d wanted them to finish me off so many times, though. I was sick of being there, sick of his games. “He’d never made me participate in the ring until the day I swung at him, but I didn’t truly fight back until six months ago.” When Dimitri stood up to Luca, that bit of truth was on the tip of my tongue. I had to get it out.
“You punched Luca because he showed you those photos of me with other women, and then—”
“Don’t.” I lowered to my knees at the realization my confession had veered Cole in an entirely different direction—he was blaming himself. I grabbed hold of his cheeks. “Don’t even think about blaming yourself for what that sick bastard did.”
He was quiet a moment before meeting my eyes. “You know how to fight, but you’ve been pretending otherwise?” His tone was thick and gritty. “When those men attacked you, you didn’t want me to witness how well you fought back, am I right?”
“Yes, I learned how to fight in that prison.” Dimitri taught me, and then . . .
“I’m so sorry. So damn sorry.” This strong and powerful man was on his knees, tears in his eyes, and it was breaking my heart. “I’ll make this right. I promise. I know you don’t want me to kill Luca, but he doesn’t deserve to breathe another day.” Cole swallowed as if gulping back his emotions, then let go of me and rose to his feet.
His hand slipped into his pocket, and he retrieved his mobile.
“What are you doing?”
“Changing my plans for tomorrow. I have to go to that prison. There’s no choice.”
I stood in haste, stepping around my dress. This wasn’t how I’d meant for tonight to go. “No.”
“I’m going to end that bastard’s life,” he yelled, then shook his head as if in apology for his raised voice.
I set my hand on his forearm, needing to soothe and calm him down. “I can’t let you do that. I asked you to promise never to kill, and here you are plotting murder right in front of me.”
“Look at what he did to you.” His free hand sliced through the air.
“Once you cross that line, you can never come back from it, believe me,” I cried.
“I’m not your brother. There’s only one person who has to pay.” He lowered his phone to his side without calling anyone. “One person who deserves to die.”
“And maybe he does.” Maybe I wished Sebastian had already killed him after he saved me, but everything happened for a reason, and I needed Luca alive for the plan to work. “But not yet. If you think he’s come between us before, if you kill him now—”
“You won’t be with me?” The anguish in his voice and the grief in his expression gutted me. It was worse than any cut, any punch I’d endured in that hell.
“It will change you.”
He clutched his phone and placed it over his heart. “You don’t think I’ve already changed? You don’t think when you walked away, I didn’t goddamn change?” His eyes shut for a moment as he pulled in a deep breath. “Hearing that you’d died altered my entire fecking world, Alessia. And now, taking over for your brother . . . you don’t think that’s changed me?” My lip quivered as he ate up the space between us. “When you came back into my life, when we kissed . . . you don’t think that changed me?” He ended the last words on a whisper.
Chills washed over my skin when his gaze settled on my breasts rising and falling with shallow breaths, my nipples clearly visible through the lace of my bra.
I wanted to unleash a flood of truth, but I also needed him to take away the pain.
To be with me.
To sprint across the line we’d avoided for so long.
I threw my arms over his shoulders and kissed him. To show him that no matter what, even if he took a life, I’d never walk away from him.
The phone clattered to the floor when he embraced me, his fingers sliding to my ass. “I need you to make me yours. Tonight. Now. Please.” He stilled at the string of commands I murmured against his mouth, but he didn’t let me go. “Don’t hold back anymore.” I lowered my hand to his chest and felt his heart pounding fiercely beneath my palm. “Make love to me.” I leaned back to find his eyes. “And I promise . . . I promise I’ll tell you everything. But first I—”
Cole cut me off with an urgent kiss, his tongue parting my lips while his deft fingers moved to unsnap my bra and pull the straps down my arms, allowing the bra to fall at our feet.
He stepped away and held me at arm’s length, his stormy eyes going to my full breasts once again. I arched my back, an invitation to do whatever the hell he wanted. I needed him. All of him.
I went to work on the buttons of his shirt while he kept one hand circled around my hip, refusing to let me go.
And slowly, I stripped him of his clothes until only his black boxer briefs and my lace panties separated us.
I gently touched the new scar he now had on his side, caused by a knife wound, similar to my own.
We were nowhere close to being the people we were years ago in New York, but we had to find a way to accept the people we’d become.
It was time we stopped living in the past. Time we made new memories.
“I can handle it,” I said, sensing he needed to hear the words as he stood a foot away, eyes traveling over my body as if worried he might scare me off with his non-vanilla tastes.
When his gaze met mine, there was no doubt there. No hesitation. Only delicious lust. A touch primitive in how he eyed me with such innate longing.
“Your panties need to be gone. I need to see all of you.” In one fast movement, he’d grabbed hold of the lace and sank to his knees, taking my panties along with him. Carefully lifting one foot at a time, he helped me step out of the panties, then tossed them over his shoulder.
As his warm breath brushed across my skin, I instinctively squeezed my legs together, every part of me tingling.
“So beautiful,” he announced, and I thought he was going to kiss my center, but instead, his mouth went to the scar on my right thigh. Then he dedicated his attention to the scar slashing across my hip bone. Next, to my abdomen. With his hands on my sides, he gently guided me to turn and laid a final kiss on the scar on my back.
Each scar was a memory of that prison. A memory of the pain.
His kisses washed all the bad away.
No one, especially not Luca, would come between us.
“I’ll go as slowly as possible,” he promised. “I’ll be gentle.” He stood and set my lips on fire with a hot and intense kiss while sweeping the pad of his thumb over my nipple.
I broke our kiss to whisper, “I don’t want you to be gentle.” I nudged his chest with my palms, but he remained standing, like a steel barricade, firm and powerful before me. Unwilling to give in if it meant he might hurt me.
&
nbsp; “I want hard.” I pushed again, but he stayed strong.
He was The League leader, that was for sure. I felt it in his heightened confidence, in how he observed me, in his touch. But his compassion and the protective instincts he’d always possessed had been magnified with his new sense of responsibility.
He cocked his head to the side, the desire in his eyes so tragically beautiful I nearly fell to my knees and wept that we were so close to having our moment. Our moment after so long.
“I want you to give me everything you have.” I swallowed and pushed again, but this time, he took me by surprise and whirled me around, so I was the one walking backward, as he guided me up against the window.
An explosive rush of energy charged the air as he whipped my arms above my head, capturing my wrists with one strong hand, holding them against the glass. My tongue traced along my bottom lip as he continued to study me. He looked ravenous, the hungry gaze in his eyes screamed he wanted to devour me and was barely restraining himself.
His chest rose with a deep inhalation, and he released a long-drawn-out breath. An attempt to steady himself. To maintain control when all I wanted him to do was let go.
“Be yourself,” I insisted. “It’s okay. You have me.” I lifted my chin, offering him my neck, and he bent his head to plant a kiss on my delicate skin before bringing his mouth to my ear.
“You have me, too,” he whispered. The heat of his breath set fire to every nerve in my body, and I involuntarily arched against him in desperate need.
He released his hold of my wrists and settled a palm on each side of me against the glass, caging me in. His biceps flexed. His strength and power framed me like a shield from the outside world.
I traced my finger over the sinewy muscles of his arm down to his cut abdominal wall, to the lines of the V that led to the hard shaft between his legs.
I started to sink to my knees, to slide my back down the glass, not giving a damn the curtains were open, but he halted me.
“Not a bleedin’ chance in hell you taste me before I have my mouth on you.” He spun me around so fast, and my breasts flattened against the glass. Our eyes connected in the reflection. “You’re stunning.” His palm traced down my back and over the curve of my bottom before he brought my arms over my head once again and restrained my wrists with one hand.
His index finger followed the length of my silhouette, over the side of my breast to my waist and my hip. He swept his finger back up the same path.
We were two people who belonged together.
Two people who would die for each other.
Kill for each other.
I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat when his dick swelled against me.
Was there something wrong with me that I was turned on and exhilarated by this act of exhibitionism—my naked body on display against a window?
It was forbidden. Exciting. Freeing.
Cole wedged a hand between the glass and my body, pressing his warm palm to my abdomen before sliding it down to my center. “So feckin’ wet.”
I sank my teeth into my lip when he finally stroked along my folds. “You make me this way,” I whispered, then cried out when two fingers curved inside of me, and I bucked against his palm.
“And you make me so hard all the time that it physically hurts,” he whispered into my ear. I was completely at his mercy, and I loved every minute of it.
“You do like pain,” I hissed when he crooked a finger to hit that magic spot, and I nearly drew blood from my lip.
“I can’t handle the pain of waiting for you any longer.”
“Then don’t wait,” I said when our eyes met in the glass, but before I had a chance to say more, he spun me, so my back hit the window again.
He sucked my nipple into his mouth and lightly tugged with his teeth before trailing his lips down my abdomen as he sank to his knees.
He parted my legs, and the moment his tongue darted along my sex, I murmured his name and grabbed hold of his dark hair, messing it up.
His gifted mouth sucked and licked. The perfect amount of suction as the scruff of his beard tickled my sensitive flesh. My stomach tightened, and little pulses of energy shot down my arms and legs.
“No one has ever gone down on me before,” I breathlessly confessed.
“Good. And no one else ever will.” His words, his possessiveness, vibrated against my clit and had me groaning, clawing at his hair.
Just us. That was the way it was always meant to be.
My back arched, and my head smacked against the wall of glass as I clenched every muscle in my body, the buildup bringing me to the edge of an orgasm. “Don’t stop.”
He held my hips firm as I cried out his name and let go. The weight of the world fell away, and I nearly collapsed.
“I’ve got you.” His words were a promise of so much more than sex.
When he stood, he leveled me with such a loving gaze, the emotions he evoked nearly took me right to my knees in gratitude that I had this man. I was his. He was mine. Nothing else mattered right now.
“I need more of you,” he rasped. “All of you.” His hand curved around the nape of my neck, and he kissed me softly at first, but when I brought my hand between our bodies to hold his hard length, he released my neck and slammed a hand to the glass.
“Do you like my hand on you?” I asked innocently after disconnecting our lips to find his eyes.
I continued to pump his cock, watching his gaze growing darker. His intense need and lust were such a turn-on.
“What about my mouth on you? Tell me how many times you’ve thought about it?” I sank to my knees, maintaining a grip on his shaft while bringing my mouth closer. “I need to know.” I scratched my nails over the outside of his thigh, a tease of what was to come.
He stared down at me like he was on the verge of losing his mind, watching my lips poised at the head of his cock, my eyes set on him.
“When you jerk off in the shower, tell me what you think about,” I prompted when he’d yet to get his vocal cords working.
I’d missed so many years. I wanted to hear the words. Feel them in my bones.
“You. On your knees like this.” His hand went to my head, and he pulled on my hair. “Those full lips of yours parting, taking all of me. Kissing me. Closing around my head. Sucking my cum. I want you to fuck me with your mouth, baby.”
My thighs squeezed at his words. If I’d had panties on, they’d be soaked.
His powerful quads flexed when I brought the flat of my tongue in a circle around his tip. “And what else happened in your fantasies?”
“After you sucked me, you’d slide that tight, wet pussy of yours onto my cock and dig your nails into my chest while you rode me.”
Oh, God. I placed a few more kisses on his head before taking all of him in my mouth. I had no experience, but I’d had years of imagining this moment.
He cursed, then cursed again, fisting my hair even tighter.
My cheeks hollowed as I sucked him off. Moving my hand up and down his shaft at the same time.
I was on my knees for the man I loved. I was connecting with him in a way I’d once believed would never be possible.
Finally.
My body trembled as my lust magnified.
I relished the power I felt, in how I could reduce this strong man, The League leader of Ireland, to only a string of feck, feck, feck.
“Stand,” he issued the command, his tone almost harsh, his need pulsing through the word. “I have to come inside of you our first time.” He pushed at my shoulders as if worried he’d come if I didn’t stop soon. “Now, baby, please.”
He hooked his hands beneath my arms and guided me to my feet.
His mouth crashed over mine before I had a chance to gain my balance, and he had my back to the window again, guiding my legs around his hips, my ankles linking together.
My head was spinning, a hazy fog of desire filling my line of sight.
“I want you on top of me for the fi
rst time,” I confessed, loving having him in charge, discovering I enjoyed his hot commands.
He repositioned his hold of me and carried me to my bedroom, shouldering open the door, hitting the lights with his elbow without losing hold of me.
Gently setting me on the bed, his eyes raked over me from head to toe, but then lingered on my scars.
“Be with me, Cole. Don’t think about that,” I rushed out, gathering his focus back to my face.
His hands unfurled at his sides. “Do you have condoms?”
“Why would I?” I smiled.
“Right.” He matched my smile with his own very sexy one.
“What if we don’t use one?” I whispered, nervous what he was going to say, but he was my forever, wasn’t he? I didn’t want anything between us. “I got on the pill when I came home.”
Home. Dublin truly felt like home, especially now that Cole and I were together. I just needed to sort out my past and find a way for us all to be safe again.
“You’re sure?”
“You’re it for me,” I said with a nod, “so yeah, I’m sure.”
He wet his lips and climbed on top of me. My hands went to his abs, and my fingers wandered along the lines of muscles. The tone and definition that’d been intricately carved even more from all the training.
“You’re it for me, too.” He leaned closer and kissed me, holding the weight of his body above mine. “You said not to be gentle, but how long has it been for you?”
I considered his words. His concern for me.
“It was just that one time. That one mistake before I was taken.” I’d always talked about sex as if I were having it because I was worried I’d be an outcast if anyone knew I’d been saving myself. Then prison meant no sex, so . . .
He drew in a ragged breath, his forehead touching mine for a moment as if nervous or worried he’d hurt me. Or maybe regretful that he was more experienced than me? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that nothing mattered except for this moment, that we were both letting our guards down to finally be together.
“Look at me.” A tremor moved through my body and up my spine. “The past is the past.” My eyes grew glossy, my love for this man stronger than ever, and I could only pray he wouldn’t change how he felt about me after learning the truth tomorrow morning.
The Inside Man: A Dublin Nights Novel Page 22