All I needed was one chance to tell her how I felt – that I didn’t mean to push her away. That I was jealous of my friends, just like I was jealous of Roger now. I wanted to move past the hurdles of a professional relationship.
Grabbing my car keys, I rushed out of my home to go back to the office. It was still only six in the evening, which meant that there was still a chance that Louise was still in the office. If she wasn’t there, my plan was to go to her apartment. I was determined to talk to her tonight. I was determined to make her see that I was in it for the long haul.
I arrived at the office building and saw that a lot of the staff had already left. I rushed to the elevator with my heart racing in my chest.
I hadn’t prepared a speech. All I knew was that I wanted to see her and explain that it was all a misunderstanding. I needed to get there before Roger Tracker made his move and before Louise decided that she would rather be with a man who belonged to her class.
I took the elevator up to her office floor and rushed towards her room at the end of the corridor. Most of the staff was gone – so was her secretary – but I could see that the lights in her room were still switched on. She was still at work!
A smile was spreading on my face. I was excited as I walked to her door, but when I got there, I heard the mumble of voices from inside. It surprised me and I stepped back. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in there with her.
I stepped to the side where the glass wall of her office was shaded by a thin white curtain. Through it, I could see the shadowy silhouettes of two people in the room. I recognized Roger Tracker’s form immediately. He was standing at her desk and Louise was sitting on it! I could make out the shape of her legs. She was sitting on the edge of her desk with her long legs crossed. There were more hushed voices from inside, and then I saw Roger raise his hand and place it on her knee.
That was all I needed to see.
I whipped around and charged back down the corridor. I didn’t bother with the elevator and took the stairs instead. They had both made their moves on each other pretty quickly. It hadn’t even been a couple of hours since Roger being in my office hinting that he was going to make a move on Louise. Even though I hadn’t actually seen it, I had seen enough to know that Louise had accepted his advances.
My mind was spinning out of control as I ran down the steps. I felt like I was ready to pick a fight with a stranger on the streets of Manhattan. I wanted to shout. I wanted to punch a wall.
I was too late . . . Or had I even stood a chance to begin with? Louise Downing would never have picked me over a man like Roger Tracker. I shouldn’t even have thought of trying. I had made a complete fool of myself by thinking that night in her apartment had meant something.
After all, she had made it very clear to me that it meant nothing to her. That it was just a drunken mistake. I shouldn’t have come back here. I was only dreaming.
Chapter 21 - Louise
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling suffocated – like I had just escaped a bad dream. When I sat up in bed, for a moment I thought I didn’t recognize the bedroom I had woken up in. But later, the cloud cleared. I recognized my bed, my room, my things, and I sighed a sigh of relief.
I had woken up in a cold sweat. I was feeling too warm. Slowly, trying to make as little sound as possible, I slipped out from under the covers and stood up.
Beside my bed, my satin robe was strewn on a chair where it always was and I slipped it on over my bare shoulders. My clothes from that day were lying scattered around the floor of my bedroom. I stepped over them on the way to the window. I needed to cool off, so slowly, I slid the window up to let some of the night air in. I could feel the sweat evaporating from my forehead and soon enough, I felt a chill run up my spine.
I could remember the scene exactly. Roger, standing in front of me, his hand on my knee. Why had I sat suggestively on the desk in the front of him? I knew what it was going to lead to. I’d gotten the vibes from him on that first night at the bar. I knew he wanted me.
I started out into the night as I stood at the window in nothing but my favorite robe. I tightened it around my body as it got cooler. I wasn’t so hot anymore. I was thinking about Jack again. I was thinking about that moment in the morning when he stepped out of the elevator and I stepped in.
I was in such a rush to run away from him, but now that I thought about it, I felt like he was about to say something. I should have waited. I shouldn’t have gotten into the elevator. I should have given him a chance to say what was on his mind.
I looked over my shoulder at the empty bed. I had spent the night alone, just like I was meant to. Everything would have changed if I had accepted Roger’s offer and brought him back here. I would have lost Jack forever. Not that there was a chance that he still wanted me.
I knew he never did.
Chapter 22 - Jack
It was Saturday morning, and even though the rest of the office was off every weekend, I always went to work. It wasn’t like I ever had anything else to do anyway. For the past eight years, ever since I had joined Prisma as a young fresh-faced twenty-something, I had given everything to this company. And for eight straight years, I kept holding on to the tradition of going to the office every weekend. This was the first Saturday in eight years that I was missing work, but I just couldn’t get myself out of bed.
I was lying on the bed, it was nearly noon, and I had an empty bottle of whiskey beside me. In the spot that Louise should have been in if I hadn’t been so late getting to her.
I had returned from the office and drank myself to sleep the previous night. There was no other way. I couldn’t stop re-living what I had seen. Roger in front of her desk, Louise sitting propped up in front of him, his hand on her knee . . . Did they kiss after that? Did they have sex right there in her office?
It wasn’t like I had a right to be furious at that. Just a few days ago, Louise had walked in on me being pleasured by a beautiful redhead in my office. I was in no position to point fingers at her. I hadn’t set the right examples.
But it was a strong physical ache that I was feeling in my bones now. One that crippled me from moving. Had she invited him back to her apartment like she had invited me? I pressed my eyes closed, hoping that I would magically be able to stop thinking those thoughts.
Instead, my cellphone beeped.
When I looked at it, my stomach did a somersault when I saw Louise’s name on the screen. She had sent me an email. She wanted to see me in my office in an hour to discuss the Medusa deal because she had something very important to share.
I clenched my jaws at the thought of what it could possibly be. Had Roger agreed to the deal last night? Were they lying in bed, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears when he told her he was on board? Did Louise think that I would never find out they had slept together?
I dragged myself out of bed and changed into what I was wearing the previous day. I didn’t even bother to shower. I knew I reeked of stale alcohol and the pizza I’d gobbled when I got hungry. I didn’t give a shit anymore. I wasn’t interested in making an impression on Louise. She had made her decision already.
Right now, I just wanted to get it over with. This was going to be the worst morning of my life.
***
When I arrived at the office, Louise was waiting out by my secretary’s desk. She wasn’t dressed in her usual office attire. In fact, I had never seen her in such casual clothes before.
She was in a pair of tight-fitting jeans and an old oversized t-shirt. Her hair was down but not as smooth and sleek as usual. It was as though she had just gotten out of bed and hadn’t bothered to dress up at all. I didn’t want to imagine who that t-shirt belonged to.
I saw her look me up and down, and I realized that she was probably thinking I had spent the whole night away from my apartment. My clothes looked crumpled and dirty and she could probably smell the stale alcohol on me from several feet away.
“I’m sorry if I’ve dragge
d you away from whatever you were doing,” Louise said as I walked past her and pushed open the door to my office.
“It doesn’t matter. Come in,” I said gruffly and she stepped in after me.
Inside my office, I walked to my desk, but she didn’t follow me. Louise remained standing beside the shut door. She had her hands clasped together and she looked nervously about the office. She was usually so fiery, so charged up for a fight . . . I could sense immediately that something was wrong.
“You said in your email that you had something important regarding Medusa to share with me?” I asked her as I sat down. I swiveled in my chair while I watched her. Even though I knew that she had spent the night with Roger, I still couldn’t stop myself from wanting her. She was beautiful, radiant in the afternoon light in my office. With her hair disheveled and no makeup on her face, Louise was an untouched beauty. But I knew the truth was that someone else had been touching her.
“Yes, I do . . . ” she said and stepped towards the desk, tucking some strands of hair behind her ears nervously.
“I think I know what you’re about to tell me,” I snapped. I didn’t want to hear those words because they would be the evidence I needed that she had spent the night with Roger Tracker.
“Oh. You do?” she mumbled and I sighed deeply and looked away from her.
“He’s agreed to the deal, hasn’t he? I know that already,” I said, glaring out of the window, but Louise made no reply. When I turned to look at her, I saw that she was staring at me with her brows crossed.
“What do you mean by that?” she asked and I shook my head.
“I know that he wants to work with you,” I said, and it hurt every cell in my body to say those words.
Louise’s nostrils flared like she was suddenly angry and she gritted her teeth. „He told you?” she asked, and our gazes were locked.
I nodded my head. “Yes, he told me what he wanted.”
Louise’s cheeks had turned red and her blue eyes had become small and dark. I could see that she was angry about something. I didn’t think that she had any right to be angry with me.
“And you did nothing about it? What did you do? Shake his hand?” she snapped, and I stood up from my chair with a jerk.
“What the fuck did you want me to do about it, Louise? I am not your keeper. I’m barely even your boss!” I growled and she lifted her chin up in the air.
“I would have expected you to at least stand up for me when a man says something like that to you. Even if you don’t care about me at all, the least you could do was look out for me because you are the CEO of this company!” Louise’s voice was strained and I could hear the hint of a cry.
The things she was saying weren’t solving the problem. She was only making me madder and frustrated than I was already.
I clenched my fists and banged them down on the table out of anger. “Fuck, Louise! Will you just stop treating me like an utter fool?!” I growled and she gasped and stepped back.
“You are the one who should be ashamed of himself for talking to Roger Tracker. For knowing exactly what he had in mind and doing nothing about it!” she shrieked. Neither of us was backing down now.
I clenched my jaws, trying to calm myself down. Who did she think she was fooling? I knew what I saw. I knew what she was trying to do now. She was trying to pin this on me. When were the games going to stop? When was she going to get over the fact that I got the job she wanted? I had stopped competing with her several years ago.
“You can stop pretending now, Louise. I saw you. I saw you both in your office last evening,” I said, and the moment those words left my mouth, Louise clamped her mouth shut. What could she possibly say to that now? “Yeah, I fucking saw you. So, you can give me a lecture on my integrity all you want, but the truth is that I came back here to find you and tell you what was going on . . . but I was too late,” I continued in an even voice. Louise’s lips were trembling as she stared at me with her eyes widened.
“He was already in your office. You were sitting on your desk; his hand was on your knee . . . i saw all that. I saw everything I needed to see, and I knew that you didn’t need to be warned. You had already made your decision on what you were going to do,” I stated and ran a hand through my hair.
Louise kept standing where she was, her lips trembling and her eyes beginning to water. Despite how angry and frustrated I was, I couldn’t stop wanting to do anything it took to stop her from crying. I couldn’t bear to watch her cry.
Chapter 23 - Louise
Was he there? Had he seen us?
Jack was shooting daggers from his eyes. I had never seen this side of him before. He had always been the guy with all the jokes, making everyone laugh . . . Now he was standing behind his desk with his green eyes bloodshot and narrowed at me. I could see that he was furious.
I had no idea that he was outside my office last evening. That he had seen Roger put his hand on my knee.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I managed to mutter and Jack quickly swerved around his desk and approached me. I stepped away from him. He was taller than me. His wide shoulders were expanding and contracting with every ragged breath that he took.
He had no idea how desperately I wanted him.
“Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me that my eyes deceived me?” he growled and I gulped.
“No, I’m saying that you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
There was silence between us for a few moments before Jack shook his head like he was confused and then spoke again. “What happened to him?” he asked, and now he was glaring at me from under his heavy eyes.
“He came to my office . . . No, that’s a lie. I invited him to my office because I thought that maybe if we talked alone, I would do a better job of persuading him to take the deal,” I said. Jack narrowed his eyes at me.
“And why did you think that?”
“Because I knew he liked me. I’d seen the way he was watching me at the bar. I had a feeling that maybe I could influence him . . . I know I shouldn’t have thought of it like that, but I was desperate for this deal,” I cried. I could feel hot tears pricking the back of my eyelids.
Jack clenched his jaws but said nothing, and I took that as a cue to continue.
“He arrived at my office, and initially, we started talking about work. I was being stupid and flirting with him . . . I shouldn’t have. I should have realized that he had something else in mind, that he wasn’t going to be satisfied with just some innocent flirting,” I said and Jack crossed his brows.
I watched as he clenched his fists, his nostrils were flared . . . he looked like an angry bull. “What did he do?” he asked through gritted teeth, and I gulped again. My throat had suddenly gone very dry. It was embarrassing for me to talk about the chain of events because I was aware that I was at fault too.
“I was sitting on the desk, and I know I shouldn’t have.”
“What did he do, Louise?”
“He put his hand on my knee and asked me if I wanted to spend the night with him,” the words came spewing out of me and I couldn’t control the tears any longer. I could feel them rolling down my cheeks while Jack watched me closely.
“What did you do?” he asked, and I dabbed at my cheeks with my knuckles as I tried to form the words.
“I told him that I wouldn’t; that I wasn’t interested in what he had proposed. I apologized for leading him on, but I made it clear to him that I wasn’t going to do it,” I cried and Jack turned from me and walked back to his desk.
I didn’t know what he was doing, why he was picking up the phone. With his eyes still on me, I watched him dial a number. I was still crying, the tears still gushing down my cheeks.
“This is Jack Gowler from Prisma,” I heard him say and my mouth fell open with shock. The last thing I expected was for him to call the man himself!
“Yeah, let’s cut to the chase here,” Jack snapped and I could sense that he had just cut off whate
ver Roger was saying. “I’m just calling you to tell you that the deal is off,” he added. With those words, he ended the call.
I couldn’t stop sobbing as I stood there in the middle of his office. Jack put down the phone and rushed to the table to where I was standing. Without another word, he pulled me into his arms. I couldn’t believe my face was pressed against his chest, that his arm was around my waist, his hand was on my head, stroking my hair.
“I’m sorry I misjudged you, Louise. I’m sorry. I should have stood up to Roger right when he told me what his plans were,” he said softly while he rocked me gently in his arms.
I closed my eyes, while my cheek remained pressed against him. I could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he held me. “I’m sorry I’m such a flirt, but I promise, I was just doing it to make you jealous . . . with Gus and Marty and even with Roger,” I sobbed and he pressed his arms even tighter around me.
When I looked up at him, his green eyes were focused on me. He brought his face closer to mine and I parted my lips. Within moments, his tongue was in my mouth and our lips were fused. We were kissing with an animalistic wild need. I’d been waiting for this kiss. I had wanted to be in his arms so badly, and now it was happening again.
Jack lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He was carrying me to the door of his office, and I pulled my mouth away from him.
“Where are we going?” I asked, completely out of breath.
“I have something planned,” he replied.
Chapter 24 - Jack
“It’s hot. Be careful,” I warned Louise as I placed the bowl of linguine in front of her. She’d stood with me in the kitchen the whole time as she watched me making the food.
Our conversation until now had been casual. I was surprised that I could make her laugh. Louise had always struck me as the kind of woman to whom laughter came at a price. Today, however, she was laughing openly like it didn’t cost her anything.
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