by K. A. Tucker
“Yeah. Not going to lie, that was a rough wake-up.” He purses his lips. “There I was, running Mila’s dogs, and kissing another woman. Ready to do a lot more than kiss. The whole back half of the race, I felt guilty.”
“She wouldn’t understand?”
“She would. She’d want me moving on by now. The problem is, it’s been two years, and I still haven’t figured out how this could ever have happened to us. How the hell do I figure out how to move on?”
It seems we’re both showing our vulnerabilities in this truck tonight.
I hesitate but then take the leap and ask softly, “How did she die?”
“An amniotic fluid embolism. Very rare, the doctors told me. Very rare, but serious.” The muscle in his jaw ticks. “Maybe if we’d gotten to the hospital sooner, at least my son would have survived. But I guess there’s no point in dwelling on what can’t be changed …” Something pulls Tyler’s attention behind me, through the back window. “I think he’s looking for you.”
“Who?” I check the side-view mirror to see Jonah’s hulking frame wandering the crammed parking lot, scowling as he searches. For my truck, I’m sure. My stomach drops. “Oh God, he can’t know I’m out here, crying. How bad is it?” I check the rearview mirror and gasp with dismay at the streaks of mascara. “He can’t see me like this! This is, like, the happiest day of his life. What kind of friend am I?” Just the idea of the look on Jonah’s face when he sees me has more tears—this time of horror—streaming down my cheeks.
“What do I do?” I look to Tyler in a panic, knowing there’s nothing I can do to keep this nightmare from playing out.
“We can make it too awkward for him to come here.” His eyes land on my mouth a second before his lips follow, parting mine gently. I can taste the beer he had before coming out as surely as he can taste mine, but it’s far from unappealing. I respond, tangling my tongue with his.
It takes me a second to cut through my shock—Tyler is kissing me, while conscious—and clue in. He assumes Jonah will see this and change his mind about banging on my window to see where I ran off to. He doesn’t know Jonah like I do, though.
“This isn’t going to work. He can be a bit of an ox,” I whisper against Tyler’s mouth.
“No?” There’s a pause and then Tyler hooks his hand around my thigh and hauls me onto his lap with startling strength, until I’m straddling his thighs, my hands settled on his muscular shoulders. “How about this?” There’s no caution this time as he seizes the back of my head and pulls my face into his, his lips prying mine open. I feel a tug at the hem of my dress and then his other hand sneaks beneath. Calloused fingers skim over my bare skin along my thigh, sending a pulse of anticipation into my core.
The soft moan that escapes from the back of my throat is unintentional.
Tyler breaks away from the kiss suddenly to look up at me. His gaze is molten, his breathing shallow. A curse slips out under his breath, and then he’s diving into me again. The hand that was on my hip shifts to the small of my back, and he pulls my body forward, flush to his, until I can feel his hard length pressed against the apex of my thighs. He rolls his hips into mine.
I don’t know if this is all intended to be part of the act anymore, but this more aggressive, dominant version of Tyler is intoxicating, and I give myself over to the situation without thought for consequences, reveling in the feel of his strength and his warmth and his intensity, my fingertips trembling as they crawl across his stubbled jaw, along the rigid lines of his collarbones, down over the hard planes of his chest and stomach.
Down farther, slipping beneath my dress, my hand moving in between us, my palm smoothing over what makes him so utterly male.
With a sharp inhale, his hand is suddenly there between us, too, working its way into my panties. His fingers deftly push into me, and he curses again. It’s been so long since I’ve let a man touch me like this, and I can’t remember when I wanted anyone this much. The responding gasp would be embarrassing if I wasn’t aching to feel the rest of him inside me. Right now.
I vaguely recall how this started, but the reason no longer matters, as Tyler’s frantic mouth works over mine with skill, and I fumble with his belt and jeans, unfastening them in a rush, before either of us comes to our senses. He lifts his hips and pushes his own pants down.
Beneath the cover of my dress, I wrap my hand around his smooth, warm length. He groans as I stroke him, my thumb sliding over the bead of moisture pooling at his tip. If I’m the first woman he’s kissed since Mila passed, then surely I’m also the first to touch him like this.
“Is anyone out here?” he whispers, his voice strained.
I break from his mouth to check the back window. “No. No one.” The parking lot is full of vehicles and empty of people, and even if it isn’t, unless someone is climbing into the adjacent truck, they’re not likely to notice us here.
No one is heading this way.
Our breaths are heady and ragged, our chests heaving as we check each other’s eyes. For signs of hesitancy, or insanity, I don’t know, but I’m hit with an overwhelming sense that it’s now or never.
“I need you.” It slips out, goaded by the fact that the only thing between us right now is a thin slip of cotton underwear.
He smooths a hand over my cheek, and then he’s kissing me again.
Kissing me while he pulls me onto my knees to work my panties down. I help by sliding them off one leg, freeing me to shift my body forward. His bare thighs are hot against mine as he reaches between us.
We moan in tandem as he pushes inside me, our lips stalling as our hips work against each other, the delicious stretch of my body pulling sounds I can’t contain. My hands curl around his thick neck, my thumbs stroking his jawline as I slide on and off him in a steady rhythm, acutely aware that we don’t have the luxury of time, chasing after that high building in my core.
Finally, I catch it, and a sweet throbbing pleasure erupts inside me moments before Tyler himself does. The cry that escapes him is deep and primal, and if there were anyone within ten car lengths, they would’ve heard that.
Tyler’s breathing is as ragged as mine as he lets his head fall back and closes his eyes. “I think it’s safe now.”
I laugh, and the simple muscle spasm reminds me that he’s still seated deeply inside me. The last thing I feel right now is safe. My body buzzes with adrenaline, the relief that I should be feeling over avoiding a confrontation with Jonah overshadowed by the fact that Tyler and I just had sex.
In the Ale House parking lot.
“Thank you.” It stumbles out.
His soft chuckle fills the truck’s interior with warmth. “I can’t say I’ve ever been thanked for that before.” He cracks his eyelids. “You look as shocked as I feel.”
“I can’t believe we just did that.” I’m thirty-eight years old and I have a reputation to think about. What the hell came over me?
“It’s been awhile for me. A bit relieved to know everything still works.” He’s made no move to shift me from his lap, though his grip on my hips has loosened.
“Right.” I look down to where my dress is bunched between us. He came inside me. I didn’t even consider needing a condom, didn’t think about it once. How stupid can I be?
“I’m clean,” he says, as if reading my mind.
“Me too.” Unease pricks at my conscience. I’m the first woman Tyler’s kissed since his wife, and now we’ve had sex. Unprotected sex. “Maybe we shouldn’t have done this?”
He works his lips with an answer that he seems to struggle over. “That’s what friends are for.”
“The last I checked, that is not what friends are for.”
“Yeah, well …” A serious expression takes over his handsome face. He reaches up to stroke a wayward strand of hair that clings to my lip. “I think we understand each other better now, wouldn’t you say?”
I understand that Tyler is attracted to me—a candid truth he’s revealed that threatens to launch me
into the clouds with the thrill it brings. And I understand that I am undeniably attracted to him in a way I can’t remember being with anyone else, even Jonah. Probably because that was all in my head, and whatever this is between us, it’s real.
But Tyler has made it clear he’s emotionally unavailable, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’d be a fool to even hope for it.
Something tells me a fool is just what I’ll be if I let myself get too close to him.
I slide off him and shift back to my spot behind the steering wheel, turning away so he has a moment of privacy to dress himself. Maybe it would have been better if Jonah had found out what a terrible friend I was, rather than complicate this situation with Tyler. My father’s warning stumbles into my head, and my worry spikes. “You’ll still want me as your veterinarian, right?”
“What?” Tyler chuckles. “I was a second from dropping to my knees to beg you to take my dogs on. I’m not letting you go anywhere over this.” He frowns curiously. “Why would you think that?”
“Just needed to be sure.”
Tyler studies his empty ring finger. Did he ever wear a wedding band? Surely, he must have. When did he take it off last and decide not to put it back on? “The dogs are all I have left of Mila, and I’ll do whatever I can to give them the best. The best is you. I know that.” His eyes search my face for a long moment, and it reminds me that I have makeup smeared all over it. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Yeah, me too.” Go home and wash my face under a cold stream of water while I don’t think of how Tyler feels inside me.
His hand stalls on the door handle. “If you want to keep this cover going, you should follow me out. Make it look like we’re leaving together in case anyone’s watching.”
I hadn’t thought of that. “God, I hope no one’s watching.”
He chuckles. “Have a good night, Marie.”
While he heads for his truck, I clean up as best I can and fix my panties. I tell myself that there was no need to tell Tyler that I’m not on any sort of birth control. The timing’s off, anyway.
In moments, I’m tailing his truck out of the Ale House’s driveway, squinting against the glare of the glowing orange sun in my rearview mirror. I follow the forest green truck all the way to his turnoff, and a part of me—the physical part that aches to feel Tyler’s hands on my bare skin again—hopes he’ll continue past it and lead me back to my place.
To my disappointment, he hangs a left, sticks his arm out the window, and waves as he speeds off.
But it’s better this way, I remind myself, and head home.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Is that it?” Mary Beck’s voice is shaky, her hand stroking Eddie’s head.
I will the lump in my throat to disperse as I press my stethoscope to the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel’s chest to confirm the lack of a heartbeat. He was always vibrating with energy when he came in here. Now, his cancer-riddled body is lifeless on his favorite blanket, laid out on the metal table of my examination room. “Yes. He’s gone.”
She dabs at a single tear that trickles down her wrinkled cheek. “At least he’s not suffering anymore.”
“We did what we could for him, Mary,” I say gently. It’s the standard line, one that brings all the comfort and yet none.
“He’s all I had left.” More tears begin to stream, too many to dab at with her tissue. “Can I have another moment alone with him?” She’s trying her hardest to keep it together—her lips pursed tightly—but I get it. She’s going to fall apart, and she wants to do it in private.
I offer a sympathetic smile. “Take all the time you need.” I duck into the back room, pushing the door closed firmly. It doesn’t muffle the sobs that erupt behind the door.
Eddie wasn’t my dog, but even I feel like crying. He was ten—too young. If not for the countless lumps throughout his body and the oozing sore on his face, he would’ve seemed fine. His tail was still wagging right to the very end when the sedative kicked in.
He’s the third pet I’ve had to put down this week—an unusually high number for me. I used to keep count of the animals I euthanized, convincing myself it’s a number I should know. Now I only keep a tally of the animals I’ve saved.
Unfortunately, this little guy was not one of them.
I let my body sag against the wall, willing this day—this week—to be over.
The door to the clinic lobby swings open, and Cory barrels through.
“She just needs a few more minutes with him—”
“I’m sorry, because I know you need some time to yourself after that, but you should come out here.” Cory points behind her. “Like, now.”
This is not standard Cory behavior.
Peeling myself off the wall, I follow her out.
Tyler is standing in my lobby.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in a week, but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that he’s in my lobby, in his park ranger uniform, his arms flexing beneath the weight of a whimpering Bernese mountain dog. Blood drips from its front leg at a steady rate, despite the cloth tied around it, splattering on the lobby floor.
A young woman stands behind Tyler, streaks of mascara down her cheeks. Through the front window, a silver Mini pulls up next to Tyler’s ranger vehicle, and another young woman jumps out, in a frantic rush to collect her purse and phone.
“Rachel, this is the veterinarian I told you about. Her name is Marie,” he says, his voice calm, as I’m sure he’s been trained to be for these situations.
I offer a quick, polite smile in response. “What happened?”
“Beau stepped in a trap while they were hiking. I got him out of it, but I thought it best we come here.”
The fact that a park ranger hauled a hundred-pound dog and its owner straight to a vet tells me all I need to know about its seriousness. I’ve seen enough to know those traps can destroy an animal’s leg. “Can he walk?”
“No.”
And there’s no way this tiny brunette, who likely matches her dog in weight, would be able to carry him. “Okay.” My adrenaline kicks in. “Let’s examine his leg first to see how bad it is—”
“Is he gonna live?” Rachel asks, her voice borderline hysterical.
The other woman—her friend, I presume—blows through the door in a panic. They can’t be more than twenty, practically still kids. This is traumatizing for them.
I offer her what I hope is a reassuring smile. “I’ve seen my fair share of dogs caught in traps, and a lot of them live. Especially when it’s this type of trap.” Thank God it wasn’t a conibear. “I’ll have more information for you after I’ve examined him.”
“The surgical room is already sterilized and prepped,” Cory offers.
“Right.” For a surgery on another patient. “I need you to bump the rest of my appointments. Tell them there was an emergency, and I have to reschedule.” This is going to take hours to fix. Turning to Tyler, I point toward the rear door. “Can you carry him there for me?”
“I’ll show you the way.” Cory leads him back.
Well, this day has taken a turn, and I’m not sure if it’s for the better or worse yet. “I’ll be out with an update as soon as I can.”
The brunette’s head bobs, tears streaming freely again. “Okay. Thank you, Doctor. Marie.” She frowns, as if she’s not sure what to call me. I get that a lot. “Whatever you have to do to save him, please do it.”
My guess is this girl has no idea what “whatever you have to do” might cost. “Do you have pet insurance?”
She shakes her head. “No, but I’ll find the money.”
Not that it matters if she doesn’t, I accept with a resigned sigh. I’ll do whatever I have to, regardless.
Maybe Liz is right. Maybe I am going to run this clinic into the ground.
* * *
Rachel and her friend are huddled next to each other, both typing furiously on their phones, when I step out, Tyler trailing behind me.
Her head snaps up right away. “How is he?”
I settle in the empty chair next to her. “I’ve stopped the bleeding, and Beau is going to be fine, but I can’t save his leg.”
“What does that mean, you can’t save it?” She stumbles over her words. “You want to cut off his leg?”
“I don’t want to amputate. I need to. The trap crushed his bones, and his tissue and nerves are torn up beyond repair. He was fighting to get out of it, wasn’t he?”
Her head jerks up and down.
“That did even more damage. He’s in a lot of pain right now, and it’s not the kind of pain that will go away.”
Rachel’s bottom lip wobbles as she looks first to her friend, and then to Tyler, who hovers nearby, his ranger uniform stained with the dog’s blood. “Are you sure?” She’s asking him.
I guess I can’t blame her. Tyler gave me the brief rundown of what happened—they were hiking on a trail in Nancy Lake when Beau wandered off and stepped in a trap. After a few frantic moments of struggling to release it from the thrashing dog, which neither of them had learned to do, Rachel’s friend called the emergency line. Tyler, who’s working the park this week, responded. One look told him it was bad enough to get them here, so he took over.
He’s the knight in green armor.
He crouches in front of her. “I have twenty-one dogs, and I trust Marie with them. If she says it needs to be done, then it needs to be done.”
She nods slowly, but she’s reviewing my little lobby, and I already know what she’s thinking—that I’m some sort of hack animal doctor operating out of a shack in the woods. “Maybe I should take him back to Anchorage to his regular vet?”
“Are they going to clear their schedule to fit him in as soon as you get there?” Tyler’s voice remains steady.
“I don’t know?”
“Well, you have one of the best surgeons in the state in front of you, and she already has.”
Those are Wade’s words. Tyler must have been talking to him.
“My guess is he’ll be recovering before you even get through the other door. But he’s your dog. If you want to put him in your car and drive all the way back to Anchorage to try to get him in today, that’s your call. I just want to make sure he gets the help he needs as soon as possible. But I can promise you that Beau won’t get better care anywhere than he will with Marie. They call her the Crusader because she saves animals all over Alaska. That’s just what she does.” His eyes shift to me, and there’s an odd, unreadable look in them.