by Ayres, Jamie
“Enough Mr. Nice Guy.” He hoisted me up and threw me over his shoulder, heading for the parking lot toward his Ford.
Screams desperately clung to the inside of my throat, but I couldn’t force them to my mouth. I couldn’t understand what happened. Was he kidnapping me?
He threw me into the passenger side of his hybrid, then ran to the other side and hopped in. I tried leaving, but he yanked me back when I was halfway out the door, then kept my head down with a heavy hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you how a real man operates,” he said, turning the key in the ignition. “You’ll forget all about that little punk, Nate.”
Suddenly, there was a hand grabbing Conner, shoving him outside the vehicle. Another hand punching him repeatedly, screaming, “Did you really think you could get away with this? I’ll kill you and go to jail forever before I let you hurt her.”
Nate. Either he stalked me or could hear my thoughts. I didn’t care how he knew I needed help; I was just happy to see him. But then Conner threw a punch and hit his face so hard that he flew backward. I rushed to Nate’s side, and Conner took the opportunity to flee the scene, wheels squealing as he drove out of sight.
I bent over Nate. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll live,” he said quietly. “But I can’t promise the same for your best friend if I ever see his face again.”
Tears streamed down my face as I shook my head. “Whoever that was, that wasn’t my best friend.”
“Maturity has more to do with what you’ve
learned from the past than your age.”
—Nate’s Thoughts
’d been taunted by nightmares ever since Conner disappeared that day in the church parking lot, exactly forty-four days ago. In my dreams, his teeth were bared in a grimace, lips shrunken back. Empty eye sockets peered down at me before the feeling of his cold, hard fingers flinging me over his shoulder came. He’d bring me to a dungeon, where he revealed his true self. Flashing a smile of black decay, he’d tell me, “We’re all reduced to this eventually anyway.”
Then I’d wake up, sweating profusely and in a fit of anxiety. I didn’t understand any of it. Part of me wondered if a demon had possessed him, and I wanted to ask a priest about it. But were demons even real? I’d never heard Father Jamie talk about them. I’d been reading a book on spiritual warfare we stocked at the Bookman, but for some reason, even though I always believed in angels, I thought demons were the inventions of Hollywood. Now I wasn’t sure. Now I was pretty sure demons weren’t only real, but that I’d even caused one to take notice of me at one point and put Conner in danger. I knew this because of the journal.
I didn’t know where the Daily Meditation Guide came from, only that on the day Conner disappeared it wasn’t on the desk in my room, and the next day it was. Funny thing, there were journal entries written in my handwriting that I had zero recollection of writing. More curious, the entries were dated in the future, next June to be exact. One spoke of the vast empty hole in my heart exactly Conner Anderson shaped, how Nate didn’t fill the void, and I’d never fully let go of Conner. A later one sounded like I was trying to talk myself into waiting longer, to be more patient for answers about Conner before I embarked on a mission concerning an Alpha File 120 so it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands. Plain as day, I just knew those wrong hands meant a demon. I just didn’t know who to talk to about it. Of course, I told Nate; he’d hear about it in my thoughts anyway. But seeing as neither one of us had any new memories to share, we were road blocked.
My only solution was to protect myself as best I could, so I started carrying my pocket-sized mass book around with me and wearing my rosary beads wherever I went. Those kind of things did a lot to solidify my freak status at school, but I didn’t care anymore. Praying every spare moment I had, I was so distracted that I practically knocked everything down I came into contact with. I knew I only saw the tip of the iceberg that was my problems, and God alone saw the big picture and he worked slowly, but I wished he would hurry up with some answers already.
The one silver lining was my parents released me from my grounding sentence after just two weeks. I’d done some research on my computer concerning how long teens should be punished, then presented my findings in an essay: Most experts agreed that longer than two weeks would not teach the child anything because consequences for poor choices only worked if the teen was able to get back the ability to make wise choices.
If Conner hadn’t gone missing, I doubt they would’ve gone for it, but I got their sympathy vote. Not that I used my freedom for any more make out sessions with Nate. Instead, the Jedi Order accompanied me to all of Conner’s most commonly visited haunts—the nearby music store, the beach, the coffee houses, the pizza parlors, the bowling alley—in search of him, hoping he’d show up eventually. But finding nothing, we’d each return to our homes feeling more miserable each day. The police weren’t exactly out there looking for him very hard either, since Conner had turned eighteen in June. My parents helped Mr. and Mrs. Anderson search whenever they could, not that Conner was their favorite person these days after what he did to me. But they wanted the real Conner back, too.
In an effort to lift everyone’s spirits, Nate suggested we all go firewalking for my eighteenth birthday. His idea was the only thing that’d made me smile since Conner left, even if it did mean another possible grounding sentence, since we were skipping classes. Nic picked me up for school as usual. No sleeping in so we wouldn’t raise suspicions with my parents.
“Good morning, sunshine!”
A wave of hunger hit me. “Can we stop for some food on the way to the firewalking place?”
“Change of plans,” Nic said, searching for something good on the radio. “When Nate looked online last night for the closest place to firewalk, he realized everyone would need parental consent, since we’re not all legal like you, and that’d be kind of hard since we’re skipping school today. Plus, not everyone has money to burn. Get it, burn?” She laughed at her own joke.
“Hahaha. Very punny.”
She flipped the visor mirror down and reapplied some lipstick at the stoplight, ignoring my equally corny joke. “Anyway, we’re heading to Sean’s cabin in the woods for a barbeque. After they’re done cooking the hamburgers, they’ll scoop out the hot coals and make a path in the grass for us to walk on!”
“Please tell me this is the start to a ‘You Know You’re A Redneck If’ joke.”
She threw her head back in laughter. “Ha! Now that’s funny.”
“Thank you. But seriously, this has disaster written all over it.”
Nic batted my concerns away. “ Relax. Today is going to be a good day. I just know it.”
I hoped she was right, but an hour later, we pulled down the dirt road to the cabin Sean’s parents used as a tiny vacation getaway three miles into the woods and saw Conner’s vehicle parked next to the house.
We sat in the car for several seconds, listening. Silence never seemed so loud. Nobody else had arrived yet. At least Tammy’s car wasn’t in sight. She was the one chauffeuring everyone, but they had to stop at the store for supplies along the way.
“Does your cell have service here? Mine doesn’t.”
Biting her lip, Nic checked and shook her head. “Nope. We’re in a dead zone.”
No kidding.
“Should we leave and come back? I mean, he could still be dangerous. We should wait to confront him until everyone is here.”
Hands slamming on the trunk made us both jump and scream at the same time. Turning around, I spotted Conner through the back windshield, his expression as grotesque as ever.
“Nic, go!”
Launching a tsunami of curse words, she spun the wheel frantically like a DJ running turntables. Instead of getting out of the way like a normal person would, Conner leaped onto the hood, laughing at us like he was having the time of his life as Nic surged forward.
“Olga, what do I do?”
“No idea!” I withdrew the rosary from
underneath my hoodie and started praying, praying God would give me some answers. When I looked up, I saw Tammy’s Lexus barreling toward us on a dirt road only wide enough for one car. If this was a game of Chicken, Tammy won.
“What the frick!” Nic shrieked.
Thinking fast, I placed my hands on the wheel and jerked her Honda Civic out of the way, causing Conner to fly off into a tree.
Tammy rolled her window down and shook her fist. “Haha, suckers! We win!”
I threw myself out of the car and ran to Conner, who lay unconscious in the grass.
“Jesus! Is that Conner?” Sean shouted, rushing to my side. Apparently, they hadn’t seen him through the thick cloud of dust churned up by the speeding cars.
“Conner!” I yelled, tears beading in my eyes.
He twisted in my arms, and I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful he was alive.
Sean, Kyle, and Nate all crouched around us.
“Olga, go wait in the car with the girls,” Nate instructed.
Ignoring him, I watched Conner slowly pry his eyelids apart. His eyes were a pure blue. My Conner.
“Olga,” he whispered.
“Hey.” Relief made me shudder.
Nate lifted me up and set me aside. “Go in the house with Nic and Tammy. Now. We’ll deal with this.” He smoothed the hair off my forehead. “Trust me.”
“Ha! You’ll forgive me if I have a few reservations about trusting you with Conner after you threatened to kill him the last time you saw him.”
“Exactly. If he hurts you now, I won’t be able to stop myself. So please go inside. I promise not to hurt him.” He made an x over his heart as a way of demonstrating the seriousness of his oath to me.
“No way. I’m staying out here with Conner.”
Nate threw his hands in the air. “Fine. But at least stand back while we inspect him for injuries then.”
I nodded, then watched wearily as Kyle and Sean made sure Conner was okay before proceeding to ask him some questions about how he got here. Nic and Tammy flanked each side of me, holding up my trembling body. A black cat appeared out of nowhere and flicked her tail at us just once before vanishing in the woods.
“This place is creepy as hell,” Tammy muttered. “Who’s idea was it to come here?”
Nic raised her hand. “Sorry. It seemed like a good idea last night. Sean and I have been talking about coming up here anyway to…” She paused, struggling for breath.
Patting her shoulder, I said, “Well, you know what they say. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
“Agreed,” Tammy said, then took out a cigarette as I sighed. “I know you hate it, but I need a smoke to calm down.”
As soon as she said the words, the scene around me disappeared and merged into a new one, Tammy still beside me but overlooking a lake instead.
“Why do you smoke so much?” I ask her, holding up my hands. “I’m not judging, just curious. It’s your life, and I respect that.” Shaking my head, I continue, “I can’t believe I spent most of high school stereotyping you as a single-minded, snobby, backstabbing cheerleader.”
Tammy takes one last drag, then stomps out her cigarette on the ground. “Girl, neither can I. I mean I only stole your prom date, threatened to light you on fire, and slapped you in the face.”
Blinking, I realized I was sandwiched between Nic and Tammy in the woods and Tammy still smoking her cigarette.
“Where did you just go?” Tammy asked me.
I stepped away from them, shaking. “You’ve never thought about lighting me on fire, have you?”
She straightened to full height. “Another vision?”
I nodded.
“No, not that I remember anyway.”
“That’s comforting.” Although it wasn’t really.
For the next half hour, I paced around Conner, praying and rubbing my rosary. Finally, the boys let him stand, and I rushed to his side to help him walk toward the cabin.
He flashed me a grateful smile. “Hey.”
“How could you disappear like that?” I knew I should be angry with him for our last encounter. But the boy who threw me into his Ford wasn’t the same one before me.
“Believe me, I’m wondering the same thing,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing.
“Are you hurt?”
His steps faltered. “A little.”
I supported him as we climbed the front steps, deciding my interrogation could wait. From all the supplies lying around the cabin, it was obvious Conner had been hiding out here for the better part of the six weeks he’d been missing.
“We’ll get you some ice and Tylenol,” Nate said, ushering me into the kitchen with him as Conner lay on the couch.
From a drawer, I retrieved a Ziploc baggie and filled it with ice as Nate filled a glass with tap water. He pursed his lips in worry, searching the cupboards for what I assumed was pain medicine.
“Conner claims he doesn’t remember attacking you or anything from the last six weeks. Says the last thing he knew he was going to sleep after seeing us at the coffee shop.”
“I know. I heard. Do you believe him?”
“Well, he should win an Oscar if his story’s an act. He was pretty convincing when we grilled him outside.”
“So now he’s suffering from amnesia in addition to Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and a bipolar disorder?” And a possible demon possession. “Things just keep getting better and better. What do we do now?”
Nate shrugged. “Obviously, we all have a lot to figure out. But for now, everyone’s hungry, and it seems like fate has brought us here together for a reason today.”
“So we stick with the plan.”
Nodding his head, he said, “Yep. We’ll have ourselves a barbeque and a firewalk.”
I bit my lip, nervous. “Okay.”
He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. “Here, take this to Conner. I’m gonna help Sean get the stuff out of the car. Kyle will stay in here with you girls in case anything funny happens with Conner.”
“Oh, I don’t think he’s in the mood to tell any jokes.”
Nate chuckled, kissing my forehead before he strode out of the kitchen.
As I headed back to the living room, tears sprung to my eyes as the events of the past months caught up to me. I sucked in a breath and told myself to grow a pair. All this crying was really getting on my nerves.
“Here. A double dose of pills should help with the pain.” I grabbed two throw pillows off the love seat and propped them behind Conner’s head. Immediately, he popped the four pills into his mouth, like relief couldn’t come fast enough. Then I lifted the glass of water to him and placed the straw on his lips. “Drink.”
He drained the entire glass.
“I’ll get you some more.”
He grabbed my hand, then pulled me into a hug. “I hate that I’m the cause of your tears.”
“You’ve caused a lot more than that, buddy,” Tammy said from across the room.
Glowering at her, I said, “Don’t take that tone with him. Whatever’s happening to him isn’t his fault.”
“Who’s to blame then?” Conner asked, taking the glass out of my hand and placing it on the coffee table.
“Me,” I answered flatly, soaking in all the guilt like a sponge.
He scrubbed his fingers through his already disheveled hair that was in desperate need of a trim. “What are you talking about?”
I shrugged. “I just can’t ease my conscience that this is all my fault.” I went on to tell him about the mysterious journal that showed up at my house while he was gone.
Conner laughed, the sound startling me.
“What’s so funny?” I asked without any trace of humor.
“Sorry. It’s just, this sounds worse than a plot we’d see on a Spanish soap opera or something.”
“Oh, yeah, I can’t wait until Mrs. Garcia plays the next episode in class,” Kyle yelled. “I hope Jaime and Carlos finally hook up.”
; We all laughed for a minute before he continued, more serious this time.
“Can I give you your birthday present while we wait?” He slipped his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small angel pin. “This used to be my grandma’s before she passed. I don’t think she’d be opposed to you having it. It’ll get a lot more use from you, even has your birthstone since Grams was born in October, too.”
Holding out my hand, I studied the shiny opal twinkling in the light. “Kyle, this is beautiful. Are you sure your parents won’t mind you giving it to me?”
He smiled. “On one condition. You stop wearing those rosary beads as a necklace all the time. No offense, but you’ve turned into one of those spooky religious people.”
Tammy laughed. “Yeah, on that note. You should probably open my gift.”
She handed me a wrapped box, and inside I found a small plastic container that said “Our Daily Bread” on the front. Inside were tons of index-sized scripture cards.
“I found those at a little gift shop downtown with the same idea Kyle had in mind, apparently. I’m hoping you just put a card or two in your pocket instead of carrying around that mass book. Seriously, you look ridiculous.”
Even though she delivered an insult, her tone was meant to soothe. I knew she and Kyle both had good intentions, so I thanked them and figured they were probably right.
After Nic gave me a prayer box she made, decorated with pictures of the Jedi Order, beads, lace, and little crosses, Nate sent me a text telling me the food was cooked and to come outside. Sure enough, hamburgers and hotdogs were on the picnic table, while a ten-foot path of coals fresh off the grill lined the grass nearby.
“We’re seriously still doing this?” Tammy asked.
“You don’t have to, but it’s something Olga and I need to do,” Nate explained cryptically. Turning to me, he said, “Ready to roll? We don’t want the coals to cool down too much.”
I gulped several times. “Yeah, what a waste that would be. You really think this will work?”
Nate picked up the plate of hamburgers. “I’d bet my lunch on it.”