by Ayres, Jamie
With a faint pop, she vanished from my room before I could even scold her for not saving some hours. I guess I should be thankful for what little information I got, though.
Too terrified of demons in my room, I decided to sleep on the couch. I knew the vile creatures could probably follow, but the sound of the TV softly playing the global evangelism channel comforted me. My rosary lay on our coffee table shaped like the state of Michigan, and I slipped the necklace on, then clutched our family Bible as I stayed wide awake into the early hours of morning, wondering what to do next.
“You can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.”
—Nate’s Thoughts
fter school the next day, I shuffled slowly through the hospital entrance, down the corridors, even taking the stairs to the third floor instead of the elevator, trying to think of the right words to say.
The waiting room stood empty, the secretary gone from her desk. I assumed Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be a busy day for counseling, and it looked like I was right. So I let myself in the first door and walked down the small hallway leading to Dr. Judy’s office. Today I came alone. Actually, I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell Nate about Grace. He sent me a text in the morning saying he wouldn’t be at school, that he was on his way back to his hometown to visit Bo’s grave. It was something he wanted to do before his eighteenth birthday tomorrow, to help him move on with his life. Now he was too far away to hear my thoughts, and I didn’t think it fair of me to burden him with more stuff. I could wait to tell him when he got back.
Just when I was about to knock on Dr. Judy’s door, I heard a male’s voice inside.
“Ash and I appreciate you volunteering to come back to help with this, Judy, but I think you should leave. We’ll find a replacement for your position here.”
“Are you firing me, Riel?” Dr. Judy’s voice was pinched tight.
“You know we have to be careful about interfering in their lives. Besides, she doesn’t trust you anymore.”
My heart sped up. Riel, my angel boss, was here! And he sounded exasperated.
I pressed my ear to the door.
“She wants answers. Can you blame her?” I heard Dr. Judy say.
“What do you suggest I do?”
“Show her your angel wings. She’ll trust that.”
Angels really have wings? Suddenly, my heart flipped at a memory of flying with him and loving it. Was that where my newfound love of adventure had come from?
I heard Riel exhale dramatically. “Maybe I should just alleviate Conner. Never liked him in the first place.”
Gah! What? I whipped out my cell phone, ready to dial 9-1-1, when I realized how ridiculous my story would sound.
“Riel, be serious. You know what that did to Olga the last time.”
My mind flashed to the autopsy reports, and I clutched the cross around my neck.
After a popping noise, I heard his voice again. “Look, I’ll have a guardian keep close tabs on her and Nate to report any suspicious activity back to me promptly. All the recon we did New Year’s Day points to Sam as the most likely culprit possessing Conner. So assuming it is Sam, how much time do you think he’s spent ruling Conner?”
“By my estimates, close to twenty-four weeks altogether over the course of the past eight months. You know that only gives us about two weeks to work with. If Sam is able to hold on for more than half a year within the first 365 days, then Conner could be lost for good, and we can’t allow that to happen.”
Every muscle in my body tightened, my breath bursting in and out. Okay, calm down, Olga. Calm down. Be patient.
“Time is running out then, but we’re bound to spiritual law. We can’t tell her.” His voice dripped emotion I didn’t understand.
“I know. At least she believes in angels and demons now, so there’s a possibility her spirit will be awakened to the spiritual plane unseen by most.”
“Let’s hope so,” he answered quietly. “I’ll be in touch soon. In the meantime, you’ll need to report to headquarters for a new assignment tomorrow morning.”
I gulped, not wanting to be caught in my first act as a spy. Squatting, I hid myself behind a water cooler. Not the best concealment, but the quickest solution. But even though I didn’t hear the male’s voice anymore, he never left the room.
Of all the reasons I could think of for how he performed this disappearing act, the only one that made sense was the most unbelievable of all.
An angel had been in Dr. Judy’s office, and he just disapparated to his headquarters in the Underworld, a place where I used to work with Nate.
Holy headlines, Batman!
Maybe the thought of an angel meddling in my affairs should’ve brought me some comfort, but I froze, horrified. The three of us, Conner, Nate, and me, were at the center of much bigger events than I ever suspected. Events I didn’t think we had any hope of controlling. I sucked in deep breaths, still squatting against the wall with my head in my shaking hands, trying hard not to faint. Grabbing a tiny cup, I stood, then pushed the blue button on the cooler, not caring if anyone heard me. I needed water, needed to curb the nausea overwhelming me. In a daze, I drifted out of the office, forgetting about Grace and why I came in the first place. It wasn’t like Dr. Judy ever gave me the answers I wanted anyway. And I’d already heard the awful truth: they wanted me to remember, but they couldn’t help me do it. I was on my own.
“People are like stained glass windows;
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true identity is revealed only if there is light within.”
—Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
slipped on my knee-length red strapless dress, then paired it with a white sweater and pumps. Dresses weren’t my thing, but I figured Nate’s birthday deserved an exception. I sat down in front of the mirror and combed my hair, giving myself a chance to unwind for a few moments, to think back on everything I overheard in Dr. Judy’s office yesterday. Keeping my thoughts to myself about my spy work would be difficult tonight, but I wanted Nate to enjoy his eighteenth birthday, so I was waiting until the end of our date to tell him what I learned. Needless to say, I was extremely grateful for the distraction of celebrating his birthday when he returned to school today. Plus, the trip back to his hometown had been emotionally draining on him. I think his own thoughts occupied his mind so much today that he didn’t pay attention to mine.
Nate reading my mind had to be connected to all this. Should we keep investigating or just wait it out? Truthfully, I wanted to give up because my body trembled at the thought of what I could find if I awakened myself to this so-called spiritual plane. But I also couldn’t forget about my best friend. I also had to think of Nate and tread lightly. We were together now. But even if Nate had stolen my heart, I still owed Conner my loyalty. Choosing one over the other proved impossible. Even here, about to go on a Valentine’s date with my first boyfriend, when I should feel elated about not being alone, I felt guilty, like I’d abandoned Conner. Looking in the mirror, with all my red hair down and lips painted hot pink, I looked wild. At least my look matched exactly how I felt inside.
When I came out a few minutes later, I found Nate debating theories on the afterlife with Dad, apparently because of some religious special report playing on the news before a commercial break. I took the opportunity to drink in the sight of Nate. He looked sleek in charcoal-colored suit pants with a matching tie and a white button-down shirt, his black leather jacket channeling a young-looking Tom Cruise. I wasn’t in the mood for a deep convo, especially about the afterlife. For once, I was in the mood for romance, so I quickly whisked Nate away.
With a warm smile, Nate helped me into Dad’s truck, then climbed into the passenger’s side. I took a minute to adjust the seat and mirrors before backing out of the garage. “So, where am I taking us for our first Valentine’s Day/birthday celebration?”
“Don’t forg
et we’re celebrating your early admission to UM, too.” Nate reached over, brushing my hair from my face. “Head toward the waterfront downtown. And don’t forget, you promised me you’d have fun tonight. And it’s my birthday, so you have to give me what I want.”
“What do you want, exactly?” I tried to make my voice sound sexy, but instead my words came out unsteady.
Nate chuckled. “Oh, I’ll get what I really, really want later. I’m a man now, so you can take full advantage of me.”
My smile tightened into a hard line. “Turning eighteen doesn’t make you a man.”
“To the law it does. But according to my levels of extreme masculinity, I’m actually twenty-two.” He flipped through the radio stations until he landed on “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore, and he sang along to the chorus about this being our moment while banging on the roof of the cab.
I rolled my eyes. “Why twenty-two? Why not twenty-eight or forty-seven?”
He shrugged. “Twenty-two is the age I picture getting married. You know, once I’m out of college. But I’m so in love with you, I feel like I could marry you tonight.”
I looked out the windshield, surveying the town as I tried to process his comment. The moonlight streaked across the sky, transforming the ground into snow-crusted treasure. “Twenty-two is still really young to get married.”
“You think so?”
My breath hitched in my throat as I thought about it, about marrying him. I knew I could one day, knew he would do anything for me. He’d sacrificed so much for me already. But was sacrifice love? I’d been in love before, but my feelings for Conner felt so different. I didn’t ever feel like Conner needed me, but Nate did. Was that a good thing? I guessed it was good to need the ones we loved, but I also thought about what it could do to you if your whole existence was wrapped inside one person. Thinking about my accidental suicide after Conner’s death, I shuddered. I had so many more reasons to live now. So many possibilities I found myself imagining. But doing big things didn’t mean I needed to let Nate go, did it? I didn’t even want to entertain the thought, especially when he was close enough to listen.
“Here, open your present.” From my purse, I pulled out the oversize envelope containing his card and personalized CD. “Happy birthday.”
“Wow, first the coffee candle and chocolate chip cupcakes at lunch, and now this?” He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“The candle was a selfish gift on my part because I’m tired of smelling those incense in your room; plus I wanted to give you something that reminded you of me. And the cupcakes were my mom’s idea on our way home from dinner the other night. I think she felt bad about never bonding with me in the kitchen and realized she didn’t have much time left with me going away to college soon.”
“Well, I’m glad I got to reap the benefits of your mom’s guilt. I ate another two when I got home. What was her special ingredient?”
“She adds a little package of fancy grated German Chocolate to the mix.”
“It was excellent. I liked how you guys sprinkled the powdered sugar on top instead of doing frosting, too.” He peered at the CD in his hands and read the words scrawled in marker on its surface. “Nate’s Life Playlist Part I. You did not make me my own personalized CD!”
I nodded. “One hit song from each year you’ve been alive. All of them are from top-ten lists. I tried to pick songs you’d actually like or reminded me of you in some way.”
“This is the most awesome present anyone has ever given me. You need to park so I can thank you properly.”
I laughed, relieved he didn’t think my gift was too hokey. “You need to tell me where to park first.”
“Right at the curb here. I thought we’d enjoy some Victorian charm.”
“Harbor House Inn?” My heart pounded in a near panic attack.
“Hey, relax. I didn’t book us a room or anything. I wanted to do one last reckless thing to celebrate the end of my youth, so I thought we could crash a wedding.”
Raising my eyebrows, I said, “Really? Isn’t that kind of a douche bag thing to do?”
“What? No, it’ll be fun.”
“Whatever. How’d you find out about it anyway?” My voice sounded sharp, and I regretted the tone. If this was what he wanted to do for his birthday, then I should go along with it.
“I checked online to see if I could find any weddings taking place in Grand Haven tonight. Figured my odds were good with the holiday. Sure enough, there’s a destination wedding and reception at the inn this evening. That means nobody will recognize us at the party since they’re out-of-towners.”
I sighed in relief. “You know, most couples celebrate their first Valentine’s Day with dinner and a romantic movie.”
“Well, I can read your mind. We aren’t like everyone else.”
“Fine. But we go in, dance to one song, then leave. No funny business.”
“Absolutely not. I’m highly trained for this sort of thing. I watched Wedding Crashers last night and gathered some tips. One of the rules is to not use real names. I saw this game people were playing online called What is Your Star Wars Name? Mine is Barna Regow. Yours is Worol Wegra. So those will be our aliases.”
“What? How did we end up with those names?”
“Don’t ask questions. Just go with it. Also, another tip is to blend in while standing out. So I get why you want to leave after one dance, but we gotta make it a big dance number. Go big or go home.”
“That’s what she said.”
“Now you’re feeling me.”
“What about the Chicken Dance…? Is that big enough?”
He shook his head. “No Chicken Dance. No exceptions.”
“Okaaay. Then how about the YMCA or the Macarena? Because outside of the standard party songs, I’m not much of a dancer.”
“That’s okay. Just follow my lead.”
“What if we get caught?”
“Break something and use the distraction to run.”
“I’m not destroying property.”
“Fine, pretend to speak another language.”
“I do speak another language. I speak Russian.”
“Really? How?”
“Have you ever paid attention to my name? I’m named after my Russian grandmother. She makes me speak in Russian every time I visit her in Traverse City. I guess you missed that part when you were in the hospital on New Year’s.”
“Is that why you’re the president of the Multicultural Club at school?”
I laughed. “Don’t know if that’s why I’m the president, but yes, that’s why I’m a member. It’s for students who can speak another language or want to learn about other cultures.”
“Huh, I always wondered why you were part of that club. Well, good, that could come in handy. Also, please talk dirty to me in Russian later. That’s all I want for my birthday besides crashing a wedding with you.”
“I still don’t know. I have a bad feeling about this,” I said, quoting my favorite line from Star Wars as I took the key out of the ignition.
Nate hopped out and jogged around the truck to open my door. “Come on, this will put your journalism skills to work. You can write a story for the next issue of the Bucs’ Blade titled ‘Top 5 Ways to Crash a Wedding.’”
He pocketed the card and CD inside his jacket while I basked in the landscape, taking in my hometown with new appreciative eyes, nostalgia winning out as the dominant feeling with the thought of leaving for college in a few months. Arm in arm, Nate and I walked up the steps to the wraparound veranda extending the full length of the inn.
He squeezed my hand. “Ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Once inside, we followed the arrow pointing us toward the Morales/Coka wedding reception. Even without the sign, the cheers and applause following the announcement of the bride and groom when they entered the room as husband and wife would’ve led us straight to the party.
“Good thing this wedding party took over the whole i
nn,” a maid whispered to a waitress as we passed them in the hallway. “Looks like they’re a wild bunch.”
Terror seized my heart, worried they’d ask to see our invitation, but they didn’t even notice us.
We waited until we heard the music for their first dance, and then Nate opened the door to the reception area, and I closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh scent of roses. When I popped my eyes open, Nate flashed me a flirty smile I quickly returned. There was something to be said for bonding over new adventures like this together. I’d never felt so close to anyone besides Conner, but I’d known him since kindergarten.
We scanned the perimeter. There were five long tables on each side of the room with a dance area in the middle. Strobe lights coming from the DJ’s corner worked the crowd into a dancing frenzy as a Latin number blared from the speakers, definitely not the typical first dance.
I elbowed Nate in the ribs. “You want to change your mind about the Macarena? We could mimic those moves pretty easily to this tune and be out of here in five.”
“Chill, girl. Come on. I’ll get you a drink.”
After a slight hesitation, I followed him over to the makeshift bar in the corner of the room. We were only going to grab some waters, but then the bartender handed us each a mixed drink.
“It’s on the house,” he told us with a wink.
“From who?” I asked, sniffing the glass.
“From me. I’ve done enough weddings to know when someone’s crashing.”
I hit Nate on the arm. “I told you we’d be caught!”
“Relax.” The bartender wiped up a spilled drink on the counter. “I’m the only one who knows, and I won’t tell anyone. Go have some fun. But the second drink you pay for.”
“Awesome. Thanks.” Nate clanked his glass against mine. “Cheers!” He jerked his head back and downed the whole thing at once.
I took a tentative sip of mine, not wanting to feel rude toward the bartender who didn’t rat us out. Luckily, the DJ announced everybody could join the newlyweds on the dance floor, so Nate set my drink down to whisk me away to the center of the room.