She turned then and her eyes bore into his. “I think Kian and I are kindred spirits, perhaps that’s why he’s stayed with me. We’ve both survived without the comforts of our own people,” she said, “until now, that is.”
“Your own people?” asked Jarrett. “Haven’t there been other...” Then he caught himself. Of course there’d been no other Stravad in Adishian. Rarick would never have allowed her to have contact with anyone else, and he certainly would never have allowed any Stravad to know the existence of Talar Eldralin’s daughter. He’d succeeded phenomenally. There had been rumors that Talar’s child had survived, but only rumors. He’d hid her existence, until Shandar, Talar’s brother, had received proof from the King of Adishian himself.
Her people – the thought tugged at him. Did she think him her people, too? Yes, she did, she’d shared his dreams and she thought she knew what lay inside of him, but the dreams were illusions, born of fever and poison, not reality.
A knock sounded at the door and the door opened. A guard stepped inside and bowed low before Tyla. She made a brief signal with her hand and he stood. “Lord Tarnow requests the Nazarien’s presence.”
“Very well,” she said and glanced back to Kendrick. The Nazarien moved to the door, careful to avoid her gaze.
“With your leave, Your Majesty,” said Muzik and Tyla nodded. He too left the room and the door closed behind him.
At last Jarrett found himself alone with the Adishian Queen and this thought made him flush with excitement. “How do you read people’s minds so easily?” he asked and she turned to face him.
“It’s something I was born with. I can’t tell you how I do it any more than you could explain how you speak.”
“I’ve never met anyone else with this power.”
“It’s easy to read you only because you don’t fight me. It hasn’t been this easy with everyone else. I honestly don’t mean to invade people’s thoughts, it just comes so naturally that I have to actively prevent myself from doing it. Although, before you and Kendrick, no one has ever seemed to understand what I was doing, unless I let them know.”
“What do you mean?”
“The first time I shared Kendrick’s thoughts, he knew I had, he felt my touch. It was the same with you, but while he involuntarily shut down, you opened up. Most people don’t know I’ve shared their thoughts. They can’t seem to feel it as you both do.” She paused and watched his face for a moment. “I suppose it’s a skill common to Stravad blood.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she placed her hand on his arm. He could smell her perfume, light and faintly floral. Her fingers were soft and her emerald eyes sparkled. Her hand dropped away and she clasped it in her lap, but not before Jarrett thought he saw it tremble. “You shouldn’t deny your Stravad blood. It most likely saved your life when you were poisoned.” Then she met his gaze again. “I’ve learned not to deny or be ashamed of mine after all these years, although Rarick would have wished I continued to deny it, and my heritage for that matter.”
“It hasn’t been easy, has it?”
“Life isn’t easy, Jarrett,” she answered.
“Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you run away and go to Chernow or Loden? Find your people.”
She laughed. “Do you really think Rarick would allow me to go? He would have killed me without a thought.”
“Why has he allowed you to live?”
“Because he wants my power. Like you, he thinks I can teach him how it’s done, that I can give it to him, but I can’t. He also believes he can subvert me, make me do his bidding. With my power and the Orahim poison, he thinks he’ll be invincible. This is why he’s allowed me to live and has allowed me to perfect my curse, to grow more powerful by controlling it. He desires it at the same time that he fears it.”
“Why did he send you to Adishian then? If he wishes to possess what you have, why did he let you out of his sight?”
“Rarick fears my power, he fears I’ll destroy him, but at the same time, he hungers for it. In the end, his fear won out. He listened to Tarnow’s pleas and decided he could guard me as well in Adishian as in Sarkisian.” Her features grew hard. “There are many traitors in Adishian who report regularly to Rarick. Soon Rarick will know of Tarnow’s prisoners, which will only hasten him dispensing a garrison to Adishian.”
“And what will that mean to you?”
She met his gaze. “I have no idea,” she said soberly. Her eyes were so cold, Jarrett felt a chill climb up his spine.
“There’s got to be a way to escape. I’ve got to believe that’s why Tarnow allowed us to come here.”
She shook her head. “No, I won’t leave Tarnow, not while he lives.”
Her words struck Jarrett like a blow. He’d nearly forgotten her ties to the Adishian Lord, but apparently she hadn’t.
She rose suddenly. “You need rest. I shouldn’t have burdened you with this. Forgive me.” She smiled and the lines of worry disappeared. “All these years I’ve kept my concerns to myself. However, there’s something about you, Jarrett, that...” She paused and the smile faded.
With a sudden jerk, the link that she had formed between their minds was severed and Jarrett winced in pain. He looked into her face and saw a glimmer of the same pain mirrored in her eyes. He’d only known her for a few brief days, but he wanted to reach for her, to draw her back to him.
She backed away from the bed, Kian rising with her. “Good night,” she said, and in a rustle of silk, was gone. Jarrett leaned back against the bed in exhaustion. He turned and looked out the window where rain had begun to fall again.
He felt suddenly alone.
He had known Tyla Eldralin but a few days, yet he was hopelessly infatuated with her. He couldn’t allow her to waltz through his thoughts anymore; he would have to shut himself off from her no matter how difficult that might be. It seemed wrong that they should share such intimate contact, especially as she was in love with her husband.
CHAPTER 6
As the week wore on, Jarrett regained his strength under Tyla’s constant care. Slowly his left arm recovered some of its feeling and he was able to lift small things in it, increasing the weight. He felt anxious to regain his strength the longer he was in Adishian and the longer no news came from Sarkisian.
The lack of news from Sarkisian was taking its toll on the morale at Castle Kazan. Jarrett had not yet met Tarnow, who wished to give the Terrian plenty of time to recover without concerning him with national matters, but the servants all discussed the strain on their king.
Tarnow had closeted himself in conference during this time with his top counselors and Kendrick, presumably discussing the fate of Adishian. He came out only to take meals with Tyla and to catch a few hours of sleep.
Jarrett saw little of Kendrick or Muzik as Tarnow kept both of them with him. Jarrett had an interest in what was going on in secret behind the closed doors of the main conference room, but since Tyla came regularly to visit him, he lost that competitive need to be included. He figured he’d be informed as soon as it was necessary. Even Tyla was deprived of knowing what went on in the secret meetings, if any knowledge could truly be kept from her, a fact Jarrett felt unlikely.
The weather remained unpredictable. The rain continued to fall in intervals, but then it would clear and the sun would break through the clouds. On these days, Jarrett and Tyla took walks in her gardens. When the rain fell in torrents, they would either sit in the parlor beside a roaring fire and watch the rain fall or they’d sit, side by side, in the window seat of his room. They were never disturbed during these days, rain or shine, and their only companion was the dog, who either walked with them or lay at Tyla’s feet.
Despite Jarrett’s determination to keep Tyla from sharing his thoughts, his resolve failed the very next day with her first visit to his room. As the days progressed, their thoughts became so intertwined that at times Jarrett couldn’t remember whether a single verbal word passed between them the entire day.
He never tired of being with her. He woke in the morning in anxiety until she first appeared and he lay awake long in the night after she had left, until sleep could no longer be held at bay. Somewhere in his mind, he knew he was stepping over a boundary, but he didn’t really care, and the only thing that kept him from telling her how he felt was her obvious love of Tarnow.
On the morning of the tenth day since his arrival at Adishian, the sun shone brightly. She’d come as every morning before and had forced him to work on regaining his strength, then they’d fled the silent castle and had taken to the gardens.
The birds were thick in the gardens on this morning, flying in and out of the branches and scattering under the bushes after seeds and worms. Kian had run ahead and was rooting through the dense undergrowth, smelling everything.
Tyla walked beside Jarrett, small and slender, in robes of blue silk, her hand resting on his arm, her hair pulled back and bound at her neck. His heart swelled as he looked at her. He knew they shouldn’t be alone together, but he couldn’t bring himself to put an end to it and no one else had come forward to intervene.
And the fact remained – she loved Tarnow. He repeated this to himself over and over again. He had to keep reminding himself that there could never be anything more than friendship between them, and yet Tyla wasn’t like any other woman. He didn’t know exactly what was happening to him, but in this short time, she had become the most important thing in his life.
They stopped at a bench and took a seat. Kian padded over to Tyla’s side and laid his head in her lap. She stroked him absently.
“Did you love Tarnow from the moment you married him?” he asked. He was a little surprised he’d asked such a question, but it was easy to forget their disparate social standing when they were as close as they were now.
She looked up at him, her eyes scrutinizing his face. “I’ve always loved him, yes,” she said and then looked off into the gardens. “Why shouldn’t I? He’s been all I’ve ever had, except Kalas.”
“Your brother?”
She nodded. “Tarnow rescued me from Sarkisian. Isn’t that enough to love?”
Jarrett didn’t answer. He didn’t trust himself to voice what he knew lay in his heart. “Don’t you think it odd that Rarick allowed you to come to Adishian?”
“Why wouldn’t he? He controls the only two people I’ve ever loved – my husband and my brother. I would never risk either of them by trying to escape him and he knows it.”
“Do you see your brother often?”
She glanced up at him. “Why do you ask?”
Jarrett shrugged. “Even in Terra Antiguo we’ve heard stories about him.”
“What stories?”
Jarrett met her gaze. “They say he’s no better than Rarick.”
Tyla flinched. Jarrett regretted hurting her, but he felt it had to be said. After a moment, she looked away again, reaching out to pluck a sprig of jasmine from the bench. She held it to her nose, inhaling the scent, then clasped it in her hands.
“When we were children, Kalas and I were very close. We used to spend a great deal of time together. Kalas taught me that I needed to control my curse.”
“Why do you call it a curse?”
“Wasn’t it a curse for my father? He never learned to control it because he was forced to run his entire life from those that wanted his power for themselves. Rarick gave me one gift, he hid me from the world, so I’ve had time to perfect it to a deadly degree.” She lifted her eyes to Jarrett’s unspoken question and smiled sardonically. “You don’t know the full extent of my power yet, Jarrett. If you did, you’d be afraid of me.”
Jarrett shook his head. “No, Tyla, I would never be afraid of you.”
She regarded him for a moment. “People have always feared me, except Kalas and Tarnow. You ask me if I love him, how can I not? He’s always been there for me, he’s taken care of me and would do anything for my happiness. He took me away from Sarkisian. But I would have loved him if only for the fact that he’s never been afraid of me.”
Jarrett watched her closely. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she wasn’t paying any attention to his, he could feel it, but he heard something more in her words than she even realized was there.
“You don’t understand as much about me as you think, Jarrett. Since before I could remember, any mind has been like a playground for me. I can read a person’s most private, intimate thoughts, those things he would kill to keep anyone from knowing.” She paused and sighed heavily. “How is that not a curse? How is that not something to fear?”
Jarrett didn’t know how to answer her. He wasn’t afraid of her, but what she spoke of made him uncomfortable.
“If that was all, it would be curse enough, but it’s worse. I have the power to kill.”
Jarrett felt a shiver race down his spine, but he held her gaze.
“My father had the power, but he didn’t have the will to use it. I have the will.”
“And have you used it?”
“No, but I’ve toyed with it.” She tossed the flower away and rested her hand on Kian’s head once more. “I can also control a person and that person will do my bidding, whether he wants to or not. Is that not a curse?”
He couldn’t respond. He didn’t know how.
“I could have killed Rarick many times. I fantasized about it and if I’d stayed in Sarkisian I probably would have, but then I’m not sure what would’ve happened to me. Tarnow saved me when he took me from Sarkisian, he saved me from myself. Yes, I love him.” She frowned. “Why would you ask such a thing? Shouldn’t a woman love her husband?”
Jarrett looked away. How did he explain to her that he sensed this love wasn’t like a wife loved her husband? For a woman of such power, she was naive. He didn’t doubt she loved Tarnow. He heard the words, but he also heard more than what she meant him to hear. She loved Tarnow, but she loved him as a father, not a husband and a lover – she loved him as she had loved her brother. He suspected she had been so deprived of love that she clung to the little she’d been granted, yet she couldn’t recognize it for what it was. Love was simply love. She didn’t yet know that there were different kinds of love.
Without warning, she rose to her feet. Jarrett glanced up at her, surprised to see her eyes were fixed on him in a mixture of confusion and fear. The dog rose also and the hackles on his back lifted.
“Tyla?”
She took a step away and he realized she must have caught his wayward thought.
“Tyla, listen to me...”
“No, this is wrong. We’ve been doing something wrong. I didn’t realize it until just now.”
“I know you didn’t, but we haven’t done anything wrong. We’re just talking...”
“But this...you...” She pressed her fingers to her temples. “We shouldn’t meet like this. We shouldn’t be alone together.”
“Tyla...”
“No!” she said firmly, holding out her hand. “We need to stay away from each other...”
Panic swamped him and he grabbed her hand, trying to pull her close. Kian growled at him, drawing Tyla’s attention. While she motioned for the dog to settle, Jarrett stepped closer to her.
Her eyes whipped back to his face, wide and dilated with sudden comprehension. Jarrett didn’t know what to do, how to make everything all right between them again, so he did the most impulsive thing he could.
He bent his head and kissed her.
She stiffened in shock for a moment, but he drew her to him, enfolded her in his arms. Gradually her reluctance bled away and she lifted to meet him, her arms sliding around his neck. Then slowly Jarrett relinquished his hold on her and they stood looking at one another.
He brushed her hair from her face. “I love you,” he whispered.
Tyla’s body went rigid and her eyes widened. She broke his hold and backed away. Again she wrenched her thoughts free and Jarrett staggered in surprise. When he opened his eyes again, hers were filled with tears. She met his gaze for only a m
oment and then she ran back to the castle, Kian on her heels.
Jarrett stood for a long time in the garden, staring at the door through which she’d run. He hadn’t tried to go after her and he hadn’t tried to call her back. He knew it was too late for that. It had all happened so quickly.
The last few days danced before him. Everything had happened so quickly, too quickly, and now it was too late. He glanced apprehensively around the garden and then to the windows that flanked three sides of it. Surely someone had seen them.
What would that mean?
Muzik Andrada’s words about watching him closely echoed in his mind and he could imagine Kendrick’s look of reproach. He took a seat on the bench and let remorse wash over him. How could he have thought he had the right to love Tyla Eldralin? He had been sent to protect her. He had been sent only to serve her.
He conjured up an image of the Terrian Leader, Lawyan, in his mind; Lawyan, who had shown him such kindness as a child; Lawyan, who had taken him from the house on Oak Hollow Way and who had raised him as his own. He’d failed him. What would Lawyan say, or Shad for that matter, if they knew what he’d done with their niece?
He sat back on the bench. He wished that he was in Terra Antiguo, that he’d never left. He could accept the routine of his duties as a Terrian guard, he didn’t need adventure or travel. He’d still have the afternoons with Shad, reading the Norrad, and the long horseback rides through the valley with Shandar, and most important of all, he’d still be allowed to sit in private counsel with Lawyan, discussing the fate of Nevaisser and Terra Antiguo. But they’d chosen him, the three of them, they’d chosen him to serve their niece. They trusted him, but he’d failed them. Even Kendrick would have had enough control to stay away.
Even Kendrick. Jarrett put his head in his hands. He knew Kendrick was as enthralled with the Adishian Queen as he was, but Kendrick wasn’t guilty of acting on his feelings – Jarrett was.
The World of Samar Box Set 3 Page 10