Jarrett couldn’t answer that easily. He knew Tyla better than Kendrick and he knew that she’d refuse to leave Tarnow as long as she thought him alive. He lifted his eyes to the King and felt a pang of remorse. How could he have so wronged this man? Guilt flooded him and he looked away. He had a sudden urge to confess everything to Tarnow and to accept the King’s wrath. If he could make his conscience clean, at least then he could face whatever lay ahead for him, but if he let this King go, if he let him ride away to his death without telling him what he’d done, then he would be forced to bear the brunt of this guilt forever.
He started to speak, but the door opened and Tyla entered. The men all struggled to their feet as she crossed the room and stood before them, her hands clenched and her face flushed.
“My lady?” said Tarnow, but she silenced him with a lift of her hand.
“Say nothing, Tarnow, until you’ve heard me speak. I’ve obeyed your wishes too long it seems and have allowed you your private councils, but I was obviously foolish in doing so. You’ve guarded yourself well, Tarnow, but not well enough.”
Tarnow’s mouth fell open in surprise and he tried to speak again, but Tyla was not to be interrupted. “You were not honest with me, my lord,” she said bitterly. “You didn’t tell me what your intention was when you brought these men here. And now you’ve prepared to go off to battle without me to buy us time to escape, but I won’t go, do you understand? I won’t leave my home. May Rarick be damned before I’ll go!”
Tarnow crossed around the table. He held out his hands and she obediently gave him hers.
“Tyla,” he said softly and the fire in her eyes abated a measure, “I’m sorry that I had to keep so much hidden from you, but I knew it wouldn’t be hidden for long. I’ve done all I can for you, I can’t protect you anymore. I’m a tired, old man. You’ve got to accept that. I sent for these men because they can take you to your people, to your family. You have a grandfather still living in Temeron and I intend for you to go there.”
She shook her head. “I won’t leave you.”
“But I will be leaving you,” he said, brushing back the hair from her face, “I’ve never asked anything from you, my dear, nothing the entire time you’ve been in Adishian, but I’m asking now. I ask that you leave Adishian with these two and that you never return.”
“Don’t ask this of me, my lord,” she said, tears forming in her eyes, “Ask anything else.”
Tarnow shook his head. “I ask this. Grant it to me.” He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face. “Grant it to me.”
Her body shuddered.
Jarrett felt sick. He knew what this was costing her.
“Grant it,” Tarnow whispered.
“I promise, I will leave Adishian,” she said quietly.
After your death.
The words echoed in Jarrett’s mind.
His head snapped up and his eyes fixed on her.
She’d made him an unwilling witness to her vow and he didn’t want this responsibility. He started to protest, but her eyes shifted to find him and her thoughts struck at him with a painful no. He clutched the table to steady himself. He felt a momentary wave of fear as pain reverberated inside his skull.
Neither Tarnow nor Kendrick sensed the exchange. Tarnow drew her eyes back to him and bent close to her. “Make me one other promise,” he said. “As you love me, Tyla, one other and no more.”
Her eyes took on a haunted look and she seemed to struggle with herself. She didn’t want to promise anything, and Jarrett felt it as if the emotion belonged to him. A wave of apprehension went through him and a part of him wanted to shout no, but Tyla’s expression grew fierce.
“Ask what you will, Tarnow, and I’ll promise it. Once you go, there will be nothing left for me.”
“Tyla, I would do anything for you. Your safety has been more important to me than that of my people.” He paused and stroked her chin with his thumb. “My life has been a long one, but you have given me my greatest joy in these last ten years. That time has come to an end as we both knew it would.”
“This man,” he said, motioning toward Kendrick, “is Nazarien, an order which your father led himself. Before your father’s time the Nazarien were a celibate order, their followers did not marry, but as you know, your father changed that. The Nazarien are allowed to marry now, but should they undertake it, this bond is the single most important bond in their lives. A Nazarien who accepts this bond also accepts the fact that his life is irrevocably intertwined with that of his partner. Should his partner die, he will take his own life. Therefore, the protection of one’s partner becomes the ultimate obsession with the Nazarien.”
Jarrett felt sick at heart. He guessed where this conversation was going as much by Tarnow’s words as by the look of elation on Kendrick’s face. Again the small voice within him cried that this was wrong, that the entire conversation was a terrible mistake, but the words wouldn’t come to his lips.
“Tyla,” said the King, “such has been my bond to you, but when I’m gone there will be no one left to protect you. I’ve spent a great deal of time with this man and find him worthy of you. He has willingly agreed to accept such a bond and I believe that he would not fail you.”
Tarnow drew her closer, her spine rigid and unyielding. “Swear to me, Tyla,” he said in a fierce whisper. “Swear to me that when I am dead, you will bind yourself to this man in marriage so that he may be your protector. As you love me, swear it!”
No came the cry in Jarrett’s mind, no, no, no!
It echoed over and over again, but try as he might, he couldn’t find his voice to scream it out loud. Overwrought with all this vow imported, Jarrett moved forward, but Tyla staggered him nearly to his knees with a single urgent command shared between their minds. I have already promised came her answer.
Jarrett halted, aware suddenly that she would kill him with her next thought if he attempted to intervene once more. It was too late, she’d already made the promise. She was lost to him.
“I swear it,” she said breathlessly and her eyes shifted from Tarnow to him.
Tarnow drew her into an embrace and whispered his thanks into her hair. Jarrett watched it all from his prison of anguish and felt Kendrick’s eyes on him. He couldn’t meet his gaze, he couldn’t see in the Nazarien’s face the triumph he knew was there. Instead he fixed his eyes on Tyla and attempted to make his anguish known to her. As he watched, her shoulders began to shake and he heard the faint sound of her crying. This was more than he could stand.
The room felt suddenly tight and stifling. He pressed past the king, grabbing for the cool iron of the doorknob. Then he was in the hallway beyond and his grief overcame him.
Tyla was lost to him forever now.
* * *
The rain fell with the same intensity on the following day as Tarnow made ready to leave Adishian. Kendrick stood in the front courtyard, holding the bridle of the King’s horse and stroking his wide forehead. He gazed up and down the ranks of the King’s battalion and saw in each of their eyes the same futile grief that bowed the King. Theirs was a mission of suicide, each of them knew as much, but they were willing to undertake it for the sake of their King.
Despite the grim assembly and the dark weather, Kendrick felt strangely at ease, almost elated. Since their arrival in Adishian, he’d been struggling against his growing desire for the Queen of Adishian, a desire he felt was wrong, but now that he’d pledged himself to her, now that she would one day be his, he felt the weight of his disgrace lifted from him.
He’d willingly made the greatest commitment a Nazarien could make, one few did make, and even greater still, he would one day possess Talar Eldralin’s own daughter. This thought was the sweetest of all. His entire life, Kendrick had admired the ways of Talar Eldralin; in fact, the Nazarien lord had been his personal hero. A good part of Tyla’s charm was the fact that she was Talar Eldralin’s daughter and possessed his power.
He smiled to himself. Despite what
Jarrett may have thought, he’d been aware of what she’d done to him in the King’s private chambers. He’d seen the slight narrowing of her eyes, followed a brief instant later by a look of shock and pain on the Terrian’s face. He knew Jarrett felt the same thing for her as he did and he knew Tyla and Jarrett could communicate psychically; therefore, it only seemed logical that she’d prevented the Terrian from interfering. If she could cause pain with a simple thought, what might she do if she utilized the full force of her power?
His musing was cut short as Muzik stepped out of the castle and stalked over to him. His face was drawn. “This is a black day for Adishian.”
“You think the King’s right about Rarick’s motives?” he answered, his sense of elation leaving him as he remembered exactly why it was he now stood in the front courtyard.
“I know the King’s right. When Tarnow rides from Adishian today, he rides to his death, and soon after Rarick will send a garrison to the city. Adishian has fallen.” He sighed. “But we have our own problems. How are we going to get the Queen to leave?”
“She’ll leave. I’ve no doubt of that, it’s just a matter of time.”
The two men fell silent, standing in the driving rain. Kendrick pulled his cloak tighter about himself and adjusted his hood. The horse was cold and restless under his hand and he spoke softly into its ear to still it. Then a trumpet rang out from the front stairs of the castle and Tarnow descended, dressed in a riding outfit and black boots, followed by Dolan. The King’s walk was even and measured, but his shoulders were stooped. Kendrick felt a rush of pity for him and thought fleetingly that he ought to accompany him, but his future lay with Tyla.
He bowed low as Tarnow approached and handed him the reins, stepping back so he might mount. Tarnow did so and wound the reins tightly in his hands. The rest of the battalion mounted in turn and stood in formation, awaiting his command. Many of the servants of Kazan left the castle and stood on the stairs and in the courtyard to bid their King goodbye. As Kendrick surveyed them, he saw few dry eyes.
“Kendrick,” said the King with a heavy sigh, “our roads take us in very different directions – mine to my death and yours to a new life. May your journey be easier than my own.”
Kendrick nodded, but his throat was too thick with grief to say anything. In this short time, he had learned to respect the King of Adishian.
Tarnow bent over the side of his horse. “Do not forget, Nazarien, you will have at most a week to prepare yourself, no more, and once you leave the protection of Adishian, ride as if Rarick, himself, were on your heels. You must see my Queen safely to Temeron, and once there do as I bid and see that you are wed to her. You must keep your promise to me, Kendrick Andel, and become Tyla’s sole protector.”
Kendrick’s gaze chance to meet Dolan’s behind the King. He swallowed hard, more disconcerted by his kinsman’s fierce expression than the King’s words. “I will do as you ask, Your Majesty,” he said.
Tarnow straightened in the saddle and held his hand out. Kendrick took it and they stood looking at each other. It struck Kendrick how odd that two such disparate men should be drawn together by one woman.
Tarnow’s eyes lifted to the upper stories of his castle and there standing in the window was his Queen. Kendrick followed his gaze and felt his breath catch as the realization that she would one day be his struck him again. Then Tarnow shifted on his horse and extended his hand to Muzik.
“Well, Muzik,” he said warmly, “you have served me well for some thirty odd years now. Ten years ago I made you pledge your life to the protection of my Queen and you have also served me well in this. I ask that you maintain this pledge until it is no longer possible.”
“You needn’t ask this of me because I will guard her until my death, Your Highness,” he said gravely.
Tarnow nodded. “I knew as much, but hearing your oath puts me at ease. Take care, my friend, and goodbye.”
Muzik’s small, ferret eyes filled with tears and he clasped the King’s hand to his lips. “Goodbye, Highness, may we meet again someday when times are better.”
“Well spoken,” answered the King. He nodded to Dolan, who gave the signal, and the trumpet sounded again, this time signaling that it was time to march. Tarnow passed one final glance over his castle and looked up to the window again where Tyla stood watching. He pressed his fingers to his lips and threw her his final kiss, then with eyes resolute and jaw set firmly, he guided his horse through the gates of the castle toward the towering expanse of the outer battlements, and then passed through the outer gates and was soon lost to sight.
* * *
Tyla stood at the window, her face impassive as she watched Tarnow’s blue crested banner and dog’s head emblem fade from view. She could have reached him with her mind if she had the will, but she didn’t. He was gone.
Kian whined at her feet and pressed his nose into her hand. She stroked him absently, her mind having retreated far within her. Tarnow was leaving her, and the only security and happiness she’d ever known was gone. She didn’t know how to go on without him just yet.
She wanted to go to Jarrett, she wanted to go to him with a desperation that surprised her. She wanted to feel his arms about her, but she couldn’t allow herself to do that no matter how badly she wanted it. It was because she wanted him so badly that she couldn’t allow herself to go.
She hadn’t meant to hurt him in Tarnow’s chambers, but she’d been desperate. Tarnow was clever, he’d appealed to her weakness, and that was her love of him. She knew Jarrett felt he loved her, but that love was a different sort of love, an intangible love that she didn’t understand as of yet. That love felt all too much like possession to her and she was afraid of it.
When Tarnow had asked her to promise, she’d been trapped; she’d been left with absolutely no choice. She could refuse Tarnow nothing. Jarrett hadn’t any right to interfere, she knew that and she had to stop him. A gentle tug hadn’t been enough, he hadn’t even felt it. She was left only with the choice of hurting him.
She shuddered involuntarily. She’d told herself she wouldn’t think of this, but it was no use. She would have hurt him worse if he hadn’t stopped, she had made him know this and she had forced herself to know it also. She hated this side to herself. She had the ability and she had the will. She would have harmed Jarrett if he hadn’t heeded her warning.
This frightened her because she’d always been very careful of her use of the curse. She didn’t want to become an animal, consumed by the power, becoming neither Human nor Stravad, and she sensed that if she used the power too often to cause harm or to kill that she would be. She would become what Rarick had always wanted her to be.
And yet something had happened to her when she’d lashed out at Jarrett. The pain he’d felt had been her own. It reminded her of when she’d torn her thoughts from him in the garden. Their parting had caused her pain. It had never been this way with anyone else. She’d come and gone with ease through anyone’s mind and when she’d inflicted pain on them the pain had been theirs alone.
She shut her eyes. She couldn’t think about all of this now, not just yet, she told herself. When she opened her eyes again, her gaze fell on Kendrick as he stood with Muzik in the rain. Kendrick Andel – since his arrival in Adishian she’d noticed him only a little, so absorbed with Jarrett had she been.
He seemed interesting and pleasant enough. There was something strangely familiar about him that she linked to their shared Stravad blood, but now she was bound to him for the rest of her life and she knew nothing about him.
Again the memories of the previous day flooded back to her and she didn’t have the resolve to choke them back. She heard Tarnow’s voice begging her to swear that she’d wed Kendrick after his death and she felt again the flood of anguish Jarrett had sent her once she had accepted the bond.
Suddenly she tasted something hot and metallic. She lifted her fingers to her lips. As she drew them away, they were stained with her own blood. She licked them in c
oncern. What was she doing to herself? Why was she allowing this man to make her so troubled that she was actually hurting herself without knowing it? She forced herself away from the window.
No more. She was bound to Kendrick now and that was the only thing that really mattered. Whatever had happened between her and Jarrett, and whatever he thought he felt for her, was over now. Her loyalty belonged to a new man.
Tapping her thigh for Kian to follow, she left the room and descended the winding staircase to the lower floors. Her heart was heavy, but she was determined. If she was bound to a new man, she was going to know him. The guards allowed her to pass from the castle walls into the courtyard, but followed her close behind.
The rain struck her head when she stepped out. She’d forgotten her cloak in her room. She lifted her face and allowed the cool water to cascade over her. It felt refreshing and it eased the burning in her mind. Kian wasn’t as fond of it, pressing close against her thigh. She patted him reassuringly and descended the steps, her eyes searching the gathered crowd for Kendrick.
Both the Nazarien and Muzik saw her and started for her. Kendrick’s expression showed his concern. Already her hair hung in drenched ringlets down her back and her clothing was wet. Muzik reached her first, removing his cloak as he went, but when he moved to place it around her, she waved him off.
“I’m fine, Muzik, and the rain feels good,” she said, then turned to Kendrick, her eyes piercing. “It seems you and I are now bound to one another and whatever our wishes may have been, we must concern ourselves with our vows only.”
Kendrick glanced at Muzik. “As you wish, Your Majesty...” he began, but she shook her head.
“To begin with, Kendrick Andel, I am your equal and as such I do not wish to be addressed as ‘Your Majesty,’ any more than I intend to address you as ‘my lord.’ Do you agree with me?”
Kendrick nodded and Muzik smiled faintly.
“I’ve made a decision,” she said and Kendrick nodded again in resignation. “If you and I are bound to each other, then we’d best get to know each other and there’s no better time than the present, seeing as we have a long wait ahead of us.”
The World of Samar Box Set 3 Page 12