He had a son – the thought was a painful stab each time it crossed his consciousness. Somewhere inside his alcohol befuddled mind, he kept thinking that he’d come awake, find himself in Chernow, having one of his nightmares. A son...Kerrin was a fine, strong boy. Jarrett had seen the intelligence behind those brilliant blue eyes.
The similarity between father and son staggered him. No matter how he tried, if he should want to try, Jarrett wouldn’t be able to deny Kerrin as his son. The way the boy walked, held his shoulders, was almost exactly like he did. He shook his head bitterly as he brought the glass to his lips again.
How many times had he endured chastisement from his father over the last ten years for not participating in the procreation ceremonies? How many beautiful women had Tomlin thrown at him, hoping the need would be so strong that Jarrett would forget the raven-haired beauty who was now leader of Temeron?
And Jarrett had felt the hunger. Ten years was a long time to go without companionship or feminine touch, but always the need was for Tyla. When he looked at other women, he wanted Tyla only that much more. In ten years, his love for Talar Eldralin’s daughter hadn’t abated.
Then when he’d finally resigned himself to being Nazar and living the Nazarien’s celibate life to its fullest, he’d received the message from Kendrick. Kendrick had asked that he come to Temeron.
Throughout the journey from Chernow, he’d told himself that he shouldn’t expect anything when he arrived in Temeron. Ten years had passed and in all that time, Tyla had never once tried to contact him. Still he’d hoped that once he was in Temeron, she’d know his love for her had never failed. To be met with the reality of her dismissal astonished him.
Hadn’t she wondered why he left her without saying goodbye? After all they shared, after their marriage, could she really believe he’d left for any reason of his own?
But he’d left her with a child and she’d almost died giving birth to him. Draining his glass again, he forced himself to acknowledge that it was a lot to overcome. The thought of her suffering alone hurt. And then he’d become Nazar – after the times he’d criticized Kendrick, his actions must have seemed hypocritical.
He straightened and drew in a deep breath. All of the pieces fell into place in his mind. Of course she hadn’t wanted him to know about Kerrin because she feared he’d try to take Kerrin away from her and raise him Nazarien, especially since he was Talar Eldralin’s grandson.
Grabbing the decanter in one hand and the glass in another, Jarrett turned back into the house and deposited them on the table. The alcohol buzzed in his head and he knew his sleep would be troubled, but he needed a few hours at least to escape this agonizing pain of realization and disappointment. Tyla was lost to him and ten years had slipped by in which he hadn’t known he’d had a son.
Staggering down the hall to the room Thalandar and Tash had given him, he dropped fully clothed onto the bed and threw an arm over his eyes. For the first time in ten years he wept – he wept for all the things that might have been if fate and the Nazarien hadn’t stepped between him and Tyla.
* * *
Jarrett forced himself to rise the next morning. His mouth was dry and tasted like cotton, and his head beat a staccato rhythm with each step. Sitting back down on the bed, he put his head in his hands and held it against the throbbing in his temples.
A knock sounded at the door and Jarrett opened one eye. “Come in.”
Thalandar appeared in the doorway, a steaming pitcher of water in his hands. “I’ve seen that look before,” said the Stravad with an understanding smile as he filled the bowl on the washstand at one end of Jarrett’s room.
“Did I drain the entire decanter?” he asked, watching the Stravad through narrowed eyes.
“Very nearly.”
Jarrett grimaced and pushed himself to his feet, crossing to the washstand. He unbuttoned his uniform jacket and dropped it on the floor, then pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall. Plunging his hands in the water, he splashed it on his face and combed it through his hair.
“Thanks for the water,” he said, reaching for the bar of soap.
Thalandar took a seat in the chair beside Jarrett and watched him lather the soap. “I’m sorry about last night, Jarrett. I know it was an awful shock.”
Jarrett squinted at the Stravad through a layer of bubbles. “I don’t think there’s a word to describe last night.”
“A lot of years have passed, Jarrett. You don’t know how many letters I’ve penned to you and then torn them up again. I guess that isn’t a very good excuse, but at the time, I believed I was doing the right thing. Funny how nothing seems so certain when faced with the realization of your actions.”
Jarrett braced his hands on the washstand and looked down into the soapy water. “I did some self-realization last night myself. At first, I was furious with all of you, especially Tyla and Kendrick, but then I thought about it and no one’s to blame, except me, I guess. How could Tyla feel any differently about me than she does? How could I expect her to tell me about my son, knowing that I’d betrayed everything I believed in to become Nazar?”
“These years haven’t been easy for you, have they, Jarrett?”
Jarrett washed the soap from his face and neck, then reached for the towel which hung from the side of the stand. “They’ve been a challenge.”
“Are you still in love with her?”
Jarrett lowered the towel and fixed his gaze on the Stravad. “I’ve never stopped loving her.”
Thalandar nodded, then pushed himself to his feet. “Get dressed and breakfast will be ready. Salena is a good cook, she keeps house for Tash and me.”
* * *
After they finished breakfast, Jarrett felt a little better. Tash and Thalandar agreed to take Tyne to the main business district of the Stravad capital so he could look around, but all agreed that Jarrett would draw too much unwanted attention before Kendrick could discuss the matter with Tyla. Jarrett was actually glad for some time to himself and he wandered out into the gardens with a cup of tea in his hand. As he took a seat at the table on the porch, he could hear Salena washing the dishes.
She was a plump, beautiful Stravad woman who sang as she worked and the sound had a comfortable feel to it. Jarrett breathed deeply of the warm summer air and gazed out over the lush gardens.
Closing his eyes, he leaned back in the chair and had almost fallen asleep when a knock came at the door. Jarrett set the cup on the table and rose to his feet, gazing back through the small cottage.
Kendrick appeared in the hallway, followed by another man wearing the forest green uniform of the Temerian guard. The two men joked with Salena and then headed for the gardens.
“Good morning, Jarrett,” said Kendrick as he stepped outside. “I brought someone you might be glad to see.”
Jarrett glanced around Kendrick at a handsome Stravad with long blonde hair pulled back in a thick plait down to his waist. Stepping forward, Jarrett caught the man in an embrace and held him away so he could look at him more closely. Allistar had aged little in the ten years since the two friends had parted, but his laughter was as ready as always.
“Hello, Jarrett,” said the Stravad captain with a smile.
“How are you, Allistar?”
“Well, and you?”
“A little hung-over.”
Allistar tightened his hold on his friend’s shoulders. “I heard you got a nasty surprise last night.”
“I did, but I drowned it the Stravad way.”
“Ah,” said Allistar, shooting a look at Kendrick. “And you were concerned he wouldn’t find a constructive way to expend his rage.”
Jarrett released Allistar and motioned for the two men to take a seat. They did so and Salena appeared with a fresh pot of tea and two more cups.
“So what have you been doing, Allistar?”
“I’m now on the Advisory Defense Council, which means I do very little, but I have to answer to Kendrick and you know how impossible he can b
e.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Jarrett’s mouth, but he dropped his eyes. “And you, Kendrick? We didn’t talk about much of anything last night.”
“I’m Advisor to the Stravad Leader.”
“And you are the Nazar,” said Allistar. “I don’t know whether to pity you or the Nazarien.”
“A little of both, probably. What else have you done with your life, Allistar?”
Allistar held up his hand, displaying a gold ring on his third finger. “I am married to a beautiful woman and have four children, three sons and one daughter.”
“Four children? Eldon’s bloody star!”
Allistar laughed.
“You have been a busy man.”
“A happy man. And you, how many children does the Nazar have?”
Jarrett lowered his eyes. “One…that I found out about last night.”
Silence fell among the three men. They drank their tea and looked about the gardens. Finally Jarrett set his cup down and ran a hand through his hair.
“Kendrick, how much do we know about this Jax Paden? How certain are we that this island exists?”
Allistar and Kendrick exchanged a look. “We know the island exists, Jarrett, and we know Jax Paden died from something he contracted there. Tyla believes the only answer is finding the plant or dirt or whatever caused his death.”
“You know the island exists, but do you know how to get there?”
“Jax mentioned a man named Brodie Daegan. He taught him to sail, showed him the island. We believe Brodie’s in Kazden.”
“And what if he’s also dead?”
Kendrick’s expression hardened. “I won’t allow myself to believe that.”
Jarrett leaned back in his chair. “Why exactly am I here? Tyla is never going to agree to me accompanying her.”
“You are the finest warrior I’ve ever seen,” said Kendrick. “We can’t send an army to protect her and she insists she must be the one to go. She will go whether we want her to or not. You know this. You remember what happened the last time we forced her to do something she didn’t want to do. I need to know she is protected. I need to know that the finest warrior on Samar is guarding her.”
“This is insane. She’s going to leave her son, her people, for this?”
Kendrick leaned forward and his eyes looked haunted. “She’s going to protect her people, Jarrett. If this turns out to be a plague as feared…well, the consequences of that are unimaginable.”
“I’m confused on that point. Why does she think it’ll become a plague?”
“Because the healers who attended Jax are showing signs of illness. At some point during his disease, he began to vomit blood. Tyla is fairly certain this is when they were all infected. Therefore, she suspects that same point will arrive for all of them.”
Jarrett shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense. This is all speculation. None of the healers have died, right? Maybe the disease will never advance.”
Allistar looked away, but Kendrick met Jarrett’s gaze. “Would you bet lives on that, Jarrett? Would you bet Temeron on it? As long as there is a chance to find Brodie, she will take it. And if not Brodie, someone else in Kazden may know of the island.” He exhaled. “If you don’t feel up to this, I understand. It’s a lot to ask, and the odds are stiff.” He looked out over the garden. “She will never let me go with her, not with Kerrin here, but I can’t stand the thought of her going alone. The only thing I can offer her is you.”
Jarrett fingered the handle on the teacup.
“She feels responsible for the healers who were infected, but more than that, she can’t risk this possibility of plague.”
“She doesn’t have to be the one to go.”
“Who better? Can you think of a more skilled healer on the planet, Jarrett? Can you think of one better suited to finding a cure if there is one?”
Jarrett met Kendrick’s intense look. He didn’t have an argument for that. “No, there is no better healer. I’m just not sure how you’re going to convince her to let me come.”
Kendrick offered him a grim smile. “Leave that to me. We’re having a banquet and a ball tonight in honor of Denortosal. I’ll tell her before it begins. She likely won’t fire me then.”
CHAPTER 3
Jarrett had nearly fallen asleep in the garden when Kerrin appeared. The little boy stepped out onto the porch, a bag in his hands, and stared at the man with the many medallions in his ear.
Slowly Jarrett opened his eyes and was again astounded by the similarity between the two of them. “Hello, Kerrin,” he said, sitting forward in his chair.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, his eyes scanning the older man’s face.
“No, I’m glad you came to see me. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You have?” He seemed surprised. “I didn’t want to bother you. I saw Kendrick and Allistar come over here, so I waited, but as soon as they left, I came.”
Jarrett looked at the bag in the boy’s hands. “What have you got?”
“Things I like to collect. I thought you might want to see them. Would you?”
“Very much.”
Kerrin opened the mouth of the bag and dumped the contents on the table. Out tumbled rocks and feathers and beads. He picked through them and arranged them in order. Then he gave Jarrett an explanation of where each one came from and why it was important to him. Jarrett listened with interest, amazed by his son, amazed that the child was sharing something with him that he’d done himself as a boy.
Kerrin lifted one of the feathers, a long feather with bands of deep brown. The bands of brown were speckled with bright flecks of red and separated by bands of pure white. “Do you know what bird this came from?”
Jarrett shook his head.
Kerrin pointed to the medallion in the man’s ear. “A falcon. Kendrick and I found it in the Golden Meadow. Do you know the story of how my grandfather got marked by a falcon?”
“Yes, very well.”
Kerrin passed the feather to him and watched as Jarrett held it up to the light. “My grandfather had a falcon. He used it to see with because he was blind.”
“That’s right,” said Jarrett, studying the feather.
Kerrin watched him run the feather through his fingers, then he shifted his gaze to his face. “You’re my father, aren’t you?”
Jarrett’s hand fell and he stared at Kerrin a moment before he spoke. “Why do you say that?” His heart picked up speed.
Kerrin’s gaze never wavered. “We look alike.”
Jarrett couldn’t speak. Of course he would notice how similar the two of them looked to each other, and being Tyla’s son, he would see more acutely than other children his age. Still Jarrett was astonished and didn’t know how to answer.
“I don’t expect anything,” said the boy quickly, “and I understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kendrick told me my father was Nazarien, although he didn’t tell me you were the Nazar. Still he explained that Nazarien fathers devote their lives to the order and can’t have a family like other men. I guess since you’re the Nazar, you have even less time, right?”
Jarrett felt himself hyperventilating and he had to break the child’s intense stare. “Kendrick told you that?”
Kerrin nodded. “I wanted to know about my father and he said you were a brave and strong warrior, and that I should be proud my father was Nazarien because not many boys could say the same thing, even though sometimes I wished you could live closer to Mama and me.”
Jarrett closed his eyes. “Kerrin, I wish I could have been closer to you and your mother,” he said, opening his eyes and looking at his son. “I want you to know that I wasn’t here all those years because I couldn’t be, not because I didn’t want to be.”
The boy nodded. “Kendrick said a great warrior was coming to help Mama. I should have guessed it would be you. I’m glad you’re here. I know you’ll be able to help Mama, I know it.”
Jarrett s
wallowed and held the feather out to the boy. “I’m going to do everything I can for your mother, Kerrin, everything.”
Kerrin smiled and accepted the feather, laying it back in his pile. He lifted a rock and held it out. “Do you know where this came from?”
Jarrett shook his head. “No, where?”
Kerrin launched into another story and Jarrett listened, but his eyes kept drifting back to his son.
* * *
Tyne walked beside Jarrett that night in the garden. It was late and he was tired, but he was also worried about his brother and didn’t want to leave him just yet.
“What do you think of Temeron, Tyne?” said Jarrett finally.
Tyne glanced up in surprise. “I’m not sure. I’m trying to accept everything like you said, but it’s so different. I guess what surprises me most is how little respect people show you as Nazar.”
“That’s a difficult thing to explain. They aren’t being disrespectful...it’s just that they don’t take Nazarien...seriously.”
“What do you mean?”
Jarrett ran a hand through his black hair. “I mean that Temerian Stravad don’t take much of anything seriously.”
“I’ve noticed that,” said Tyne. Then his face became reflective. “That boy last night, he’s your son?”
Jarrett bit the inner part of his lip. “Yes,” he said finally, “but I didn’t know about him until last night.”
“And we’re here because there may be a plague in Temeron?”
Jarrett nodded.
“And they want you to do what?”
Jarrett sighed. “Accompany the Stravad Leader on a fool’s mission to a land known only to a dead man.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Neither do I. The Stravad, who infected the healers here, apparently found a strange island in the ocean. We’re going to try to find it.”
The World of Samar Box Set 3 Page 56