I reached up for his hand, but he stood still, unmoving. The instant our skin touched, I felt a jolt of electricity ripple through me. It wasn’t my usual feeling, the one of attraction and love for him. Instead, it was of agony and heartbreak. I could literally feel his whole body quake with pent up emotion. He must have felt it too, because he ripped his hand away from me at the same time he pulled his sunglasses from his eyes. Covering his face with both hands, his chest heaved between sobs.
Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I pulled myself upright and tried to take him in my arms. My act of love was met with resistance. Drew placed distance between us. His red, tear-filled eyes met mine, and a vicious snarl flared his nose. “What were you thinking bringing me here? This was supposed to be a day of fun and you forced me to hell.”
I lifted my hands in defense but said nothing. This was his grief talking, lashing out at the one person who was forcing him to face it. “Was this your idea of a sick joke? Maybe you wanted to get back at me for the shit I’ve put you through. Is that what this is?” He pointed toward the headstone. “Fuck this!”
Frozen in place, I wanted to rush him, to hold him, to take his pain away, but I couldn’t. A force beyond my understanding held me in place. He needed to let it all go, and my coddling him wouldn’t help.
He had a wild look in his eyes, one that I knew oh so well. He was ready to run, to scream, and possibly beat the crap out of something. Each breath he took seemed forced. Purple circles lined his eyes from tears pushing themselves past his barriers. The walls that were Andrew Wise were breaking, and I was here to witness it. The immensity of it all overpowered him. He wrapped his hands around his throat, determined to choke back his anguish. A feat to which he was unsuccessful.
“This isn’t fair,” he screamed.
Birds scattered, squawking at the sound of his voice echoing amongst the stones. The sun slipped into the background, hiding behind the trees that rustled in the wind. Nature felt his pain as much as I did.
The feelings he’d held back all these years rushed forth in a flood of anger. “You hear me? This isn’t fair!” Nothing spoke back to him. Not me. Not the grave. Not even the wind or the sun would whisper a word. The world hinged on everything he had to say and how he felt. Those blue eyes I loved so much were hard as stone. He turned his anger from me to the sky. “You hear me, God?” he screamed out to the heavens above. “I hate you! I hate you for everything that happened. I hate you for losing her.” His finger jabbed toward the statue. “I hate you for letting my family fall apart. You taunted me with happiness. You teased me with the possibility of it. You knew how important she was to me. My family was everything and you took it away, you cruel bastard.”
This conversation seemed private and I was eavesdropping on something I wasn’t meant to hear. The intimacy, the despair, and the heartache kept me unable to move. I was seeing Drew, my Drew, the man I loved, at his weakest. Almost as if God knew I needed to be here just as much as he did. Drew balled his fists tight at his sides. Seven years was a long time to hold on to this much pain, and now the gates were open. All that guilt and anger were ramped. “I should’ve been the one to go that night. It should’ve been me. She had her whole life ahead of her. She hadn’t even taken her first breath and you ripped her away. How dare you? Merciful God!” he spat. “There’s no mercy in a God that takes a child. Not when you could’ve had me in her place.”
Drew dropped down to his knees, the image of a broken man. His head fell to his chest and his voice lowered from a scream to a whimper. “I was supposed to have years with her. I was supposed to watch her take her first steps, say her first words, and lose her first tooth,” he cried. “She was supposed to grow into a woman. Go to college and get married. I would’ve spoiled her, treated her like the little princess she was. It was my right as her father to give her the world.”
The barrier that held me back, released me. I dropped down beside him, pulling him into my arms. Drew slumped into my embrace, his anger completely exhausted from him. In my arms, he cried. His pain left his body in a flood of tears. I ripped his visor from his head and tossed it to the ground beside us. My hands wrapped around the back of his head as he buried his face in the nape of my neck. His fingers dug into my hips. We rocked to the rhythm of his sobs. My own tears fell with his, grieving for the child that he loved.
“She’ll never know how much I loved her.”
I pulled back, my gaze meeting tear swollen eyes. “Don’t you dare say that, Andrew Wise. That little girl knew how much you loved her just as my son knew how much I loved him.” My jaw set and my tears ceased. I was determined to make him see the truth. The truth about Autumn, about me, but most of all, the truth about himself. “Neither of us honor them by blaming ourselves for what happened. You’re the one who made me see that. Now you need to, as well.” I pointed toward the cold, alabaster stone. “That little angel was brought into this world for one purpose—for you to love her. Carrying around this guilt doesn’t honor her memory, nor does it reflect the love you have for her.” I stood up, pulling him with me. It was time for him to accept what happened, just as I had. “Remember her, Andy, but let go of the guilt. You both deserve that. To be honest, if you and I are to continue, I deserve it, too. It’s not easy. I know. I’ve spent the last two months wallowing in my own guilt and pain, but it can be done. Do it for Autumn and me, but most of all, do it for you.”
Drew stared at me, his mouth agape. I reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Remember her every day, Andy. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, but don’t blame yourself any longer. The past is behind you and we have the future to look forward to.”
Closing any gap between us, Drew pulled me against his chest and kissed me. He caught me by surprise. All of the anger I’d just witnessed didn’t fit the intensity of this kiss. Hard and deep our mouths moved, unabashed by the fact that we were in a cemetery or at Autumn’s grave. This kiss was healing, forgiving, and a step toward our new beginning.
I pulled back, breathless, my hands flat against his chest. A smile donned his beautiful lips. He touched my face, brushing my hair back. The crinkles around his eyes deepened, letting me know this smile was real and genuine. “Thank you for loving me,” he whispered.
“You’re worth loving.” A gentle breeze whistled around us, pushing us closer together. I laughed and tilted my head toward the stone that somehow seemed brighter now than it had before. “You agree, huh? Smart girl. Your daddy’s very much worth loving.”
“You think she’s here?”
“Of course. She’s been here all along.”
“How do you know that?”
I reached up and pulled his face down to mine, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. “Because you’re here, Andy. She’s with you wherever you go.” I rested my hands, one on top of the other, over his heart. “As long as this beats, Autumn is here.”
We stood in that spot, for God only knew how long, in complete silence. No longer did the past hang over us. The silence was now reverence not remorse. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse but free.
“For what?”
Drew pressed his lips to the top of my head. “For being you.”
I chuckled softly and rested my head to his chest, listening to the tender thump of his heartbeat. It now beat in a steady rhythm of healing. A tune that would become more refined as forgiveness and acceptance set in.
Drew rested his hand on the small of my back, his focus on the stone. “If she’s really here, then it’s only prudent that I introduce you two.” I looked up to catch that beautiful smirk that was only Drew.
“Yes, it’s quite rude that you’ve neglected to do so. Where are your manners, Mr. Wise?”
Drew laughed, a good solid laugh. I turned to face the stone as he extended his hand out in an introduction. “McKenzie Evans, this is my daughter, Autumn.” The way he said her name brought tears back to my eyes. It was said with the love a father. “Autumn, this is McKenzie, my girlf
riend.”
I greeted her, a sense of love engulfing me. Here I was, in the presence of a father with his daughter. That’s what this had turned into. Exactly as I wished when I made the suggestion for us to come. Drew needed this, and truth be told, so did I. We were two souls broken, lost, and alone, that came together to heal.
Drew shifted from my grasp as he bent down to pick up his sunglasses. As his fingers touched the soft earth, a gentle sigh released from his chest. I rested my hand on his shoulder and let the moment sink in a little longer. “I’m going to give you a moment,” I told him. Looking back at the stone, I smiled. “Take care of my little Evan. He needs a big sister to care for him up there.” The whisper of the breeze moving amongst the trees told me that she heard me and that my baby was safe. Love brought them together just as it had Drew and me.
The warmth of Drew’s hand covered mine as he reached up and took it from his shoulder. “I won’t be long,” he promised.
“Take all the time you need.” I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. He closed his eyes and drank in the love the emanated between us.
As I walked away, I turned back only once to see him sitting in front of the headstone. His hand rested on the base and his head hung low, but there was a serene smile on his face. He’d finally made his peace.
Chapter Eight
Andrew
“My sweet little girl. I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get here, but I’m here now. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss you. I love you so much. I’ve made a fool of myself. I know that now, but I will strive to be worthy of all the good in my life. I promise you, I won’t make the same mistakes.”
Sitting on the warm, soft earth, talking to my daughter, I realized that I’d held on to my anger long enough. I needed to change. It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t happen overnight, but I could be better. I would be better. Time would eventually sate my grief, but it was love that would heal my pain. No more keeping those I loved the most at arms length. It was time for me to be the man my daughter and McKenzie deserved.
I glanced over my shoulder, back toward my car, to see McKenzie leaning against it with her arms crossed over her chest and her face tilted skyward, soaking in the summer heat. She was my other angel, beautiful and graceful. Because of her, I found peace.
I stood up and dusted myself off. Propping my visor on my head and slipping my sunglasses over my eyes, I leaned in and rested my hand on top of the stone. It was silky smooth, unlike how I imagined it would feel, but touching it made me feel closer to my little girl. My eyes closed, the sun beat down on my back as I basked in the love of the two angels who guarded my heart. I whispered a solemn goodbye to Heaven and shoved off.
Each step I took felt lightened. I thought I could breathe again after my confession to McKenzie, but that was nothing in comparison to the weight that was lifted from me now. Life would no longer hold me prisoner. The idea of facing my father or Olivia wasn’t nearly as cumbersome as before. So what if I didn’t feel a connection with the child Olivia carried? I would love it because it was mine. Maybe this baby was my second chance to prove myself worthy of a family. It might not be my ideal family, but family was family whether ideal or not.
As I reached the car, McKenzie pushed herself upright. Her smile was brighter than the sun, and by the way my face ached, I was pretty certain mine matched hers in every way.
“Is everything all…whoa!” McKenzie squealed as I lifted her up from the ground and swung her around. “I’ll take that as a yes!”
“Yes, beautiful. Everything’s perfect!” Faster I spun, taking her with me. She flung out her arms, flying through the air as we twirled. My heart soared at the sound of her laughter.
As I slowed to a stop, McKenzie wrapped her arms around my neck. Heart racing, pulse pounding, breathing heavy, I felt more energized than when I raced one of my cars. Slowly, I slid her down the length of my body until her feet touched the ground. Our body heat mingled with the warmth of summer. Her bright blue eyes shimmered in the sunlight. Or maybe it was love that made them sparkle. Either way, staring into the eyes of this gorgeous woman, I realized I had another chance to make things right. With her. With the baby. With myself. Life, love, happiness. All these things were at my fingertips, and this time I wouldn’t screw it up.
Our mouths met and the worlds collided. I moved my hands into her hair, our lips fused together in a dance of desire and passion. This was magic at its finest. Destiny was having its way with us. The taste of her tongue in my mouth was exquisite. The smell of her skin, intoxicating. My body ached for her. The last time we had sex, it was out of anger and ended in regret. Not this time. I was going to take my time with her. Today, I would remind her that she was mine in every way.
But there was one thing we had to do before I could ravage her body. Breathless, I broke our kiss. A tiny little whimper of disapproval escaped her. “Patience, my love,” I said, gently stroking her cheek.
“But…” she tried to argue.
I placed my finger over her sweet lips. “We must wait a bit longer. We have one more place to go.”
“Where might that be?”
“I promised you a dress for dinner tonight.”
“Can’t we just forgo dinner and stay in?” she whined.
“Oh no. I want a real date with my girl and dinner is a must.”
She dropped her arms and humphed. “Fine.”
Her pouting brought me to laughter. She was too cute when she wanted something and didn’t get her way. Then there was the sense of pride that she wanted me. Not Jared. Not Gage, the stupid redneck from Amarillo. But me. We belonged together.
I tapped the end of her nose with my fingertip. “That doesn’t mean we can’t play,” I quipped. “Now get that sexy ass of yours in the car. We have a dress to buy.”
She turned around with a roll of her eyes. “Are you planning on getting us a room? It’s not like we can go back to the house to change…” —an evil smirk pursed her lips— “…or fuck.”
Oh, she was good. That dirty little word slipping off her tongue sent a wave of desire pulsing through my veins. It was safe to say I was hard and ready to take her.
I swatted her butt, eliciting a sweet cry of surprise from her. “You forget, Boston was once my home. I have a condo in Cambridge. We’ll get ready there.” I leaned in close to her ear as I reached around to open the car door. “And fuck.”
After McKenzie was secured in the car, I stood there for a moment to look back at Autumn’s grave in the distance. Peace washed over my soul as I whispered, “Goodbye, my sweet girl. Until I return.” I bounced around the front of the car and slid into the driver’s seat where I fully intended on making good on my promise of a new start. First things first, though. Getting my girl a dress and seducing her in the process.
All the way to the mall, I taunted her with the things I wanted to do to her. No one would’ve guessed that less than an hour ago I was practically crumpled into a ball of hell. Freedom was bliss, and watching her tremble when I explained how I wanted to lick every surface of her body was more fun than I’d had in a long time.
We arrived at the mall, but my relentless torture didn’t stop. Everywhere we went, I made sure to taunt her with little touches, soft whispers, and wanton kisses. Her squirms and whimpers were music to my ears.
“You know, the sooner you pick something, the sooner we get back to my place,” I teased, tracing the shell of her ear with my tongue as she examined a sensual black dress that I could imagine slipping her out of.
“All this stuff is too pricy, Andy. I don’t need a five-hundred dollar dress.”
Nipping at her earlobe, I mumbled, “My suits cost ten times that amount. Stop overthinking this and go try it on.”
She turned around and pushed me back with the palm of her hand against my chest. “I know what one of your suits cost, but I would never spend this kind of money on myself.”
“You’re not spending it. I am. N
ot get in that dressing room and try it on.”
“Fine. I’ll try it on, but that doesn’t mean I’ll buy it.”
I chuckled and waved the sales clerk over to us. She’d hovered around us for the last fifteen minutes waiting for McKenzie to choose something. The young woman escorted McKenzie and me to a waiting area where she instructed me to take a seat on the sofa while McKenzie followed her to the back to try on her selections. I did as I was told, but only until the sales woman disappeared. In her absence, I snuck back to the fitting rooms. Lightly tapping on the door, I smirked at the sound of McKenzie’s voice, “This room’s taken.”
“I know. Now let me in,” I hissed.
“Andy? Is that you?”
“Who else would it be? Open up.”
McKenzie opened the door just enough for me to slip through. The door closed in a swift motion and I turned around to find her standing with her back to a mirrored wall, wearing nothing but a black lace bra and panties. If I wasn’t already hard, the sight of her like that definitely would’ve accomplished that feat. I stalked toward her, a devilish smile curling the corner my mouth.
“See. I told you I’d try it on.” She pointed toward the dress, taking a step backward away from me.
“I do see.” I pushed her hair back and was rewarded with the exposure of her pert nipple playing peek-a-boo through her bra. A spark of desire ignited inside me. My body was magnetized to hers. I couldn’t think of anything but my need for her. With gentle force, I charged her and pushed her against the wall.
My lips inches from hers, our bodies molding together. All I could think about was the way she felt when I was inside her. “Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me,” I requested, my tone smooth and seductive.
The Truth Be Told (The Truth in Lies Saga #3) Page 7