by Kitty Thomas
So. They were back to that, were they? She'd probably spent the entire day convincing herself he was as terrible as the look on her face announced.
When he spoke, his voice was measured and even, but it fooled no one. “I thought I told you to wait for me in my room. You knew what time I'd be back.” Lindsay noted the alarm on Julie and Annette's faces. Pity that Shannon wasn't wise enough to be alarmed herself.
“I've decided I don't want to play with you,” Shannon said, nonchalantly as she did another lap down the length of the pool.
“I don't believe I ever said anything about playing,” Lindsay said. “Julie, Annette, would you leave us, please?”
Both of them wisely got out of the pool and scurried back into the house. Lindsay picked up a large white spa towel from one of the tables and held it open beside the pool stairs.
“Out. Now.” he said.
Shannon waded to the center of the pool. With each passing second, she looked more and more like a frightened doe in the woods.
That was when it hit him. She'd been in the pool that day smarting off to Brian when her life had come undone. And now here Lindsay was, making threats. It was the same set-up—or close enough to trigger her.
“Lindsay, I don't want to play with you. I didn't agree to any of this. You don't have to do this to keep me from killing myself. I... I won't. Just stop this. Let's just go back to how it was before where we just ignored each other.”
“Sir,” he said. “And we are well past the ability to ignore each other.”
Shannon's mouth remained in a firm, resolute line.
“I will be merciful and forgiving if you correct your behavior now. But if you make me come into that pool after you, you will regret it.” He refused to allow Brian's misbehavior to change his own. He was determined not to show weakness with her again.
“S-sir.”
Lindsay nodded. “Good girl. Now come out of the pool.”
Shannon hesitated another moment.
“I'm not Brian. I'm offering mercy and a single get out of the dungeon free card. But if you abuse this kindness, know that the next punishment will be twice as bad.”
“Y-you're not going to hurt me?” she asked, edging her way to the pool stairs.
“Not if you get out of the pool and come with me now.”
“W-what are you going to do?”
“Shannon.”
“Okay, okay. I'm coming.”
As soon as she was out, Lindsay wrapped the super-sized towel around her and carried her back into the house and up to his suite.
He carefully dried her off and then tossed the towel on the floor. Without a word, he removed her bikini. The little blue scraps of fabric joined the towel.
“Lie down on the bed.”
“Lindsay...”
“What did we say about that?”
“Sir... I can't do this with you.”
“Why?”
Shannon bit her bottom lip and looked away.
Lindsay stood behind her and bent so that his lips brushed her ear. His voice was low when he spoke again. “I should have taken you as soon as you'd healed from Brian, but I thought you would hate me.”
“I do hate you.”
Lindsay placed a hand between her legs, unsurprised at the warmth and wetness he found there.
“Your body doesn't.”
“What's your end game?” she asked, as she squirmed away.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we aren't going to live happily ever after, here,” Shannon said.
“We aren't? Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“No,” Lindsay said, “I don't. You wanted me once. You still want me. I want you. This is not complicated. Lie down.”
He took a step back to give her some space. Finally, after a few moments, she laid back, her pale skin seeming to glow against the dark green duvet.
“Good girl. Now stay.” Lindsay loosened his tie and carefully removed it. He folded and formed it into a neat little roll and crossed the room to put it back in the drawer. Then he took off the coat, shirt, shoes, socks, belt, pants. Each item, he folded and laid down carefully in two stacks on the dresser. One stack was for the dry cleaner, one for regular laundry.
He watched her as he undressed. The look of raw hunger on her face was unmistakeable. So whatever little protest this was had absolutely nothing to do with what she truly wanted and everything to do with what she felt she should want. Or shouldn't want.
“If you don't want me, explain the starving woman in the desert look you're aiming at my abs.”
Her gaze flew up to his face—guilty—as a scarlet red flush crept over her skin.
“I-I'm not doing that.”
“Okay. What should the punishment for lying to me be, I wonder?”
He left his boxer briefs on and stretched out on the bed beside her. She tensed.
He sighed. “After all you've suffered, you're really choosing to deny yourself pleasure because of some weird need you have to not allow it to come from me?”
“You're why I've suffered.”
“I didn't leave those marks.”
“But you brought me to the monster who did.” Shannon rolled away from him.
Lindsay allowed his fingers to trail absently through her hair. She pretended not to notice but she didn't pull away, so he kept doing it. He pressed a kiss against her exposed shoulder.
She flinched, and he wasn't sure if it was because he'd kissed her or because of the scar his mouth had briefly touched.
“Let me be clear with you. I'm training you. For myself. I'm keeping you. For myself. And I don't give one flying fuck what you believe you think about that because you want me as much as I want you. I can't apologize for what happened to you because it won't fix it. I can't time travel. We have nothing but now and the future. Do you want to hear that I should have trained you for myself from day one? What difference does that make now? I didn't, and here we are. The way I see it, we can move forward, or we can keep punishing ourselves forever.”
Shannon remained absolutely silent during his monologue. She may as well be asleep, but he knew from the stiff way she held herself that she clung to every word.
“Keep punishing ourselves forever,” the African Grey said, adding his vote to the mix.
The tension broke for a moment with the bird's antics. Shannon laughed as the parrot landed on the bed and stared at her with one beady eye. He edged closer to her and leaned down as if to really get a good look and assess the situation. She reached out and stroked his beak, and then the little shit pushed his fluffy ruffled head into her hand for more attention.
When she stopped petting him, Ralph looked at her again and said grimly, “Forever.” Then he flew off into the tropical foliage calling out “Forever, forever, fuck me harder. Forever.”
This time Lindsay laughed. “That goddamned stupid bird. Every day he reminds me why I should have kept him at the office.”
“I like him. He's funny.”
“He thinks he is.” The bird might not have a human understanding of the meanings of words, but he somehow knew which words and phrases would get the biggest reactions, and he always went for the big payoff.
Lindsay got up and went over to the largest of the bird cages and called Ralph. When the bird was settled inside, he closed the door and covered the cage with a blanket. The smaller parakeets were already settled in their cages, so he draped those as well.
When he returned to Shannon, she was back to the closed-off expression again.
“You can't fuck me back to life. Your dick doesn't have magic powers.”
Lindsay felt the smirk inch up his cheek. “You don't know that. You've never had my dick.” It wasn't as though he wasn't aware of how arrogant this all seemed. How presumptuous. But he hadn't imagined the way she looked at him. On a purely rational level he understood why she was punishing herself this way. But practically speaking... the behavior was... what was the clinical wor
d? Batshit?
He knew what was at stake for her if she let herself want him. But the fact of the matter was she did want him, and he wanted her. And he wasn't going to spend the rest of their lives wheedling and whining and arguing with her about it.
She didn't think he was serious. That's what it all came down to. She didn't believe he truly wanted her or that he was committed. And until this exact moment, maybe he hadn't been fully invested, but he knew after all these years and what he almost lost that the way he felt about her was never going away. And if she still obviously wanted him after everything, well, they just had to move past it.
He had a sudden inspiration. “Do not move from this spot or there will be consequences.”
Lindsay left her in his suite and went down to the main floor. He popped his head inside the game room where Brian and one of the trainers had an intense game of poker going. He didn't even want to think about what the stakes were with Brian in the game.
“Where's Anton?”
“Went to bed,” Brian said, not looking up from his cards.
Lindsay let the door slam shut behind him and went to Anton's room and banged on the door.
“Go away!” Anton shouted in his thick Russian accent.
No one could say he hadn't tried the polite way. Lindsay shrugged, opened the door, and walked inside. Annette was in a rather compromising position, bent over and bound to the bed posts, leaving very little to anyone's imagination. Another woman watched from a plush chair in the corner, transfixed. A new girl.
“I thought I said go away,” Anton growled.
“You should have locked the door if you didn't want to be disturbed. I have important business with you.”
“It can wait.”
“It involves money.”
Anton untied Annette. “Kiska, I will only be a moment.” He glanced over at the other girl. “You can play together while I'm gone. But no orgasms.” He turned back to Annette. “I mean it, Kiska.”
“Of course, Master, no orgasms.” But it wasn't at all convincing.
Anton followed Lindsay out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them. “This better be good.”
“How would you like to make a sale?” Lindsay asked. They were in a lean period since almost every girl currently in residence was new and untrained. No money was flowing in. And though they were perfectly safe financially, Anton always got antsy when the money stopped flowing in the right direction. This was doubled by the fact that they'd just brought in several new trainers.
“You have a buyer for one of the girls? You know no one is for sale right now. They're not finished with training.”
“I want to buy Shannon.”
Anton looked at him as if he were speaking another language. “Buy her? You don't have to buy her. She's not for sale. I know Brian bought Mina but that was to stop a real sale from going through. The house would have lost money otherwise. Just take her if you want her. No one will question it.” He turned to return to the girls.
Lindsay put his hand on the door preventing Anton from opening it. “No, I'm paying you, and you're writing me a bill of sale. Right now. Let's go to the conference room and make the transfer.”
Anton seemed deeply annoyed by this interruption when he had two naked women waiting just a few yards away. Let him be annoyed. Lindsay wasn't about to spend weeks or months convincing Shannon he wasn't playing a game.
***
Shannon had been waiting on Lindsay's bed for the past thirty minutes. She couldn't begin to imagine why he'd left so suddenly, but the longer he was gone the more worried she became about what it might mean. What sort of punishment was he devising? Hadn't he said no punishment if she got out of the pool? Was he going back on that now?
She still didn't believe he was training her. This was some stupid lark. Boredom. Or some strange act of goodwill where he thought he was saving her or doing this for her own good. She couldn't afford to trust him or fall for it. What if she gave in to him and he lost interest? Maybe he had some odd passing attraction. But it was just that. He would never give her what she really needed. Couldn't he see how this would hurt her more than if he just ignored her?
She jumped when the door opened. Lindsay dropped papers on top of the bed in front of her.
“What is this?”
“It's a bill of sale. For you. You think this is some game? You think I'm just messing with you or doing some weird experimental therapy? As far as the house is concerned, you now belong to me. All of the trainers are being notified. Every single living soul in this house will know by morning that you belong fully and completely to me. Is it real enough for you now?”
The piece of paper on top was a very official-looking bill of sale for... no. That was insane.
She looked up. “How stupid do you think I am? You think this proves anything? You think I believe you paid three million dollars? For me? The way I am? When you could just do whatever you wanted? Nobody was going to stop you. This charade is sick, even for you.”
“Look at the other papers.”
Shannon rolled her eyes but set the bill of sale aside and looked at the papers underneath. It was a printout from his bank showing the wire transfer. Realistically the house could just transfer the money back to him, but it all seemed like a lot of trouble to go to. Besides, their business was far too illegal to transfer large sums of money back and forth willy nilly. It could create questions and put them all at risk.
About a year after coming to the house, Shannon had asked Annette how they got away with such large transfers of money without drawing suspicion. Annette had said they created a DBA under the corporate structure for Extreme Luxury Vacations, and had payments sent to that account. A somewhat elaborate website had been created, and occasionally they got a call for that. Gabe usually charmed them, bullshitted his way through it, and called around and got something set up, while pocketing a tidy profit that should be a crime in and of itself.
When Shannon had seemed shocked, Annette had just shrugged and said, “What can you do? Sometimes money and intelligence do not in any way correlate.”
Wasn't that the truth.
But there were never refunds. The house didn't do refunds. So if such a large sum were to be transferred into the house's bank account only to be returned soon after, or ever... it would be an anomaly, and with increasing bank security and national security, such an anomaly was too risky. Lindsay and the rest of the guys wouldn't take such a large risk all for the sake of a game.
Shannon blinked suddenly, realizing Lindsay was speaking to her again.
“I told you I want you. I've always wanted you. I've wanted you for eight years. You think that feeling is going to change? Especially when I almost lost you? Twice now.” He was pacing, looking all intense and disheveled, a completely unnatural look on the doctor. “I'm not playing a game with you. You know the rules of this house. You know what you signed on for when you came here. You belong to me in the same irrevocable way you would have belonged to whoever had bought you if things had gone differently.”
Shannon felt the walls close in. If things had gone differently. Such a casual way to put the single most shattering day of her life.
“Sir... I...”
“Master,” he corrected.
She tried to tamp down the excitement. Was it just the night before when she'd been struggling not to say that word for fear he'd only mock her and all the things she knew she couldn't have? She hadn't said that word in so long she wasn't sure if she was even still capable of it.
“I-isn't this all a little sudden?” she said, instead. Stalling.
“Sudden? We've known each other eight years! This is three celebrity weddings and divorces. How much time has to pass before we both have what we want?”
“I-I don't want this.” But it wasn't even convincing to her own ears.
“Right. Well, it's done. I spent a lot of money; you're now mine. I have fulfilled my original promise to you, now it's time for you to honor your sid
e of the agreement.”
The heated look he gave her made her look back down at the papers on the bed trying to figure out how she and Lindsay had gotten to this place.
It was true, when she wasn't hating him for bringing her to the house, she'd had a sick sort of longing for him. And Mina seemed to think that sentiment flowed both ways. And the papers in front of her indicated the same.
Lindsay picked up the papers, apparently deciding she'd stared at them long enough. He folded them neatly and put them in a drawer in the nightstand and joined her on the bed.
“Are you going to fuck me?” Shannon asked.
“It's well within my rights as far as the house is concerned, but no, not tonight.”
Because he didn't want her. If he wanted her wouldn't he... But why would he pay that money? He couldn't just be screwing with her. But it was wrong to even want him after... everything. The evidence of just why she should never trust the doctor was written in the ugly bleached-out scars on her back.
“It's late. Go to sleep.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled the blankets over them leaving her more confused than ever.
Chapter Six
Lindsay laid in bed staring at the ceiling for an hour with the warm, naked object of his desire pressed snuggly against him, taunting him with what he should just take. He wasn't sure how, but she slept peacefully beside him. In sleep, her guard came down as if it was only unconsciously that she knew she could trust him. But could she really? Should she?
This should be a simple enough equation. She wanted him. He wanted her. But he couldn't help but feel if he took what he wanted that he would break her. Everything he touched seemed to break. Could he trust himself with her?
Lindsay slipped out of bed and put on some sweats and tennis shoes and went down to the fitness room. He was unsurprised to find Brian running on one of the treadmills, listening to Chopin's nocturnes. The two men exchanged a look that could have contained all the hatred in the universe. Things had been tense for years now with them—ever since Lindsay had brought Mina to the house.