by Kami Kayne
“My share?” she echoed. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. There was a trust? There was money left for her?
All this time, she’d assumed there’d been nothing left, that everything worth anything had been sold when he’d run out of money and his benefits had been cut off. He’d lived with, struggled to survive, cancer for five long years. And he had been too ill to work for much of that time.
He’d once told her he’d cashed in every life insurance policy he’d owned to try to scrape together enough money to make ends meet.
But he owned real estate? He owned valuable property?
That didn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t he sell that?
Justin’s brows furrowed. “If you don’t like this place, we have a couple more for you to look at. This was the only rental property he owned when he was alive. He sold all the others, the last one about six months before he died. He’d said it was special. That’s why we thought you might want to take this one.” He stood at the front of the living room, next to a wide window that overlooked the street below. “In the last four years, we’ve done pretty well, buying property. Sometimes flipping them. We have twelve properties now. If you’d rather see something else--“
“No, if he said this one is special, then it’s good enough for me.” She glanced around, almost imagining her father standing next to her, admiring the pretty woodwork. She hadn’t seen him do any woodwork, but she knew he appreciated quality craftsmanship when he saw it. A pang of heartache shot through her chest. “It’s perfect.”
Cody raised the paint roller up to the ceiling again. “Good. We thought you’d like it.”
“The first of the bedrooms is this way,” Justin said, motioning to a door leading off the living room. He opened it, stepping aside to let her in.
The room was a lot larger than she’d expected. It smelled like fresh paint and wood polish. And centered against the back wall, between two narrow windows, was the most amazing four poster bed she’d ever seen. “Is the bed included?” she joked, fully expecting to hear it wasn’t.
“It is for you.” Justin wrapped his fist around the closest post. “It was a special find. I picked it up last month at an estate sale. We had it in storage. Moved it in this morning, before you got here. We thought you’d like it.”
She did. Actually, she didn’t just like it, she loved it. Upon closer inspection, she could really appreciate the hand carved details on the headboard. “Wow. They don’t make them like this anymore, do they?”
“No, they don’t. We replaced the original rope mattress supports with a wood frame, bought brand new box springs and a mattress.” Justin motioned to the bed, dressed in crisp white linens and an insanely beautiful quilt. “The quilt was made by a friend. We hope you like it too.”
“This is...I don’t know what to say.” She turned to face him, tears gathering in her eyes. This was all too much, so kind and generous.
“You don’t have to say anything. We’re glad to have you back home, and we hope you’ll be happy here, if you decide to take the place.” Justin gave her a crooked smile and her heart did a little flip flop. “You haven’t told us yet if you want the apartment. What do you think?”
“I want it. It’s perfect.” She thumbed away the tears clinging to her lower lashes.
“Good. Wait until you see the kitchen,” Cody said, coming out from nowhere, grabbing her hand and half-dragging her back out to the living room. “We gutted it, put in all new fixtures.” Hand in hand, they tromped back through the dining room. “Oh, second bedroom is there.” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the door centered on the right wall. “You can take a roommate or use it for whatever you want.” He paused at the arched opening to the kitchen, waiting for her to cross the threshold first. “Well? What do you think?”
“Oh...Wow.” Her gaze jumped from the marble counter to the glass tiled backsplash to the cream painted cupboards and open shelving on top. It was gorgeous, as pretty as any kitchen she’d seen in a magazine.
“We didn’t use wall cabinets to keep it feeling open and spacious.” He led her through the open space that could be an eat-in nook, motioning to the doors leading off to the left. “The first door is the bathroom. The second is a walk in closet with laundry.”
She opened the laundry door and peered in. Full sized appliances sat side by side, shelves stacked overhead for storage. “You two thought of everything.”
“We tried.” Still holding her hand, he turned to face her fully. “Now that we’ve settled this situation, and you have a place to live, I’d like to talk about the little misunderstanding we had yesterday.”
“Are you ready to tell me what the hell is going on? You can’t treat people that way. I mean, what we did was...fine. But then you held me down while Justin...he practically raped me.”
He motioned for her to take a seat on the wooden chair positioned next to what would soon be a breakfast bar. He didn’t say anything until she was sitting. “It isn’t that we want to keep secrets from you. We trust you. More than either of us can say. But this is something we can’t talk about with you.”
She felt her eyes burning, and she couldn’t say exactly why. Was she angry? Yes. And hurt. But more than that, she was confused. In the span of a very short period of time, she’d more or less lost two very close friends. And, on top of that, her dreams of them becoming more were completely shattered. And why?
“I’m sorry, Candi. This is all my fault. Justin tried to warn us both that it was a bad idea. But I care about you. And more than that, I...want you. As more than a friend. As a lover. As a confidant. As a soul mate.”
Gah! That only made things that much more painful.
“Yesterday, when Justin...got rough, was that real?”
“Yes, of course.”
“So he wasn’t doing those things to try to scare me away.”
“No.”
In other words, Justin liked it rough. And he thought she might get into that.
A pulse of heat blazed through her body. Maybe she did, to a certain degree. She did enjoy feeling helpless, powerless. She did enjoy having Cody hold her while he fucked her with his fingers. But she had also been scared. Shocked. Yes, that was more like it. She’d been shocked.
I think I understand now.
“Good.” He looked glad. And relieved. Extremely relieved. “Neither of us want to hurt you. You’re very precious to us.” He reached up, as if he wanted to touch her face but then he pulled his hand back.
She asked, “Can I ask you a question?” At his nod, she continued, “Have you or Justin ever had a long term relationship?”
“Define long term.” His lips curled into a slightly naughty smile that made her insides get warm.
“Longer than a year?”
“No.” His answer came swiftly.
“Why?”
“There were a number of reasons. Bad timing, generally. Either the woman wasn’t ready for us, or we weren’t ready for her.”
“We? Us? Has it always been we?”
He traced the wandering vein of gray in the marble counter top with his index finger. His gaze flicked to the dining room, where Justin was now painting. “Yes.”
“Why?”
He didn’t answer right away. She could see he was struggling with something, but what? Why would two brothers choose to always share the same woman? She’d never met two men who’d done that. In fact, most of the men she’d dated, including her ex-fiancé, were very anti-sharing. “When we were younger, my brother and I went through some very painful experiences together. Those moments have influenced us.”
“Painful? As in...?”
“We were sexually molested. For several years.” He wasn’t looking her in the eye. She wanted to know why.
“By who? Who did that to you?” she pressed, feeling like she was finally getting close to the truth about the men she was struggling to understand. She’d known the kind, fun, goofy Justin and Cody for years. They were real. An
d yet those men seemed to so different from the men she’d met up in that barn loft.
“It doesn’t matter.” He jerked his gaze away from the counter, focusing on the dining room, where Justin as still painting. “It’s done, and we’ve put the past behind us as much as we can.”
Once again, she fought to understand. “Okay. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to prod. Have you told anyone?”
He shook his head. Not everything.
“But what if he does it again, to some other innocent boy? Did you go to the police? Have you tried to stop him?”
“No, we didn’t go to the police. But he can’t do it again. That’s not possible.”
“Why?” A sick feeling started bubbling inside her belly. She had no idea where it was coming from, but it was there and getting worse by the second.
A man had molested Cody and Justin.
That man had scarred them for life.
But they’d kept this horrific secret all this time. And by doing so, they’d protected someone who had hurt them.
What child would do that? Unless it was someone they respected and cared about...
Someone like her father.
Not their father, who was rotting in prison. No, if it had been him, they wouldn’t have hesitated to tell her. They’d talked about him a lot. He’d done some horrible things, but nothing like this.
Could it be her dad?
She cupped her hand over her mouth. Her hand started shaking. Then her whole body started trembling.
“Shit,” Cody said.
Justin came running. He took one look at Candi and snapped, “What did you say?” He squatted, dropping so his eyes were level with hers. “Candi? Honey?”
“It was my father, wasn’t it?” she whispered. “He was the one who hurt you.”
The look on Justin’s face said everything. He didn’t have to say a single word.
It seemed her father had kept a lot of secrets from her. Not just about a business he’d started, or money he’d set aside for her future. But also a terrible, dark secret.
Her father.
Her daddy.
The man who’d taught her how to fish.
And taken her camping.
And bought her a guitar and showed her how to waltz.
When she was little, she had thought she’d known him so well. The truth was, she hadn’t known him at all.
Cody gathered her hands into his. “You’ve always said such nice things about your father. Kind things.”
“We didn’t want you to find out,” Justin added. “We didn’t want to taint the good memories you have of him.”
Were those memories tainted? She didn’t know what she was feeling. Repulsion and shock. Disbelief.
It can’t be true.
But it has to be. They wouldn’t lie. Not about something like this.
But my father?
No. It isn’t possible.
They wouldn’t make this up.
What do I believe?
“Are you okay?” Cody asked, his expression darkening.
Justin glared at his brother. “Dammit, I told you not to say anything. Why’d you tell her?”
“I didn’t, technically.” Cody snapped. “She figured it out on her own.”
Justin’s sigh was audible.
“Stop it. Don’t fight. Please. I’m okay,” she said, not sounding okay.
Both guys looked at her with disbelief.
“No, really.” She stood. Her legs were a little wobbly, but not too bad. Her head felt funny, and her stomach was twisting and turning in her belly. At the moment, all she could think about was getting out of there, going somewhere quiet. She needed to think this through, figure out what she thought, what she felt. About everything. “Excuse me. I need some fresh air.”
“I’ll go with you.” Justin sprang upright.
Cody knocked him aside. “No, this is my fault. I have to--“
“No, it’s not necessary,” she said, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she made a beeline for the stairs. “I don’t need a babysitter. I just need some alone time. Some space. I’ll be back later.”
“Here.” Cody rushed to her side, extending a hand. “Your keys. We’re still painting, but the bedroom’s done. If you want to stay here tonight, rather than go back to the hotel, we’ll be quitting work at six.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She fisted the keys and offered what she hoped would pass for a smile. At the creases she saw on his forehead, she said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
“Now you see why we didn’t want to let you get too close?” Justin said.
“I get it. You were trying to protect me, protect my memory of my father. That was a kind, selfless thing to do. But it’s better that the truth is out in the open. It helps me understand you better. At least now we can all say that there are no more secrets between us...right?”
They both nodded. “Right.”
“Then we’re moving in a good direction, the three of us. I couldn’t ask for more.”
Cody appeared slightly relieved. Justin, not so much.
“I’ll call you later.” She gripped the doorknob. Her hand was still trembling a little. She twisted it.
Justin moved closer. “Okay. If you need us--“
“I know. All I have to do is call.”
* * * * *
Justin gave his brother a long, hard stare. “Dammit, Cody.”
“Don’t.”
Justin narrowed his eyes. “Why did you tell her? We agreed--”
“I didn’t tell her. She figured it out.”
“Obviously, you said too much.” Justin kicked the bucket of paint, knocking it into the wall. His jaw was visibly clenched, the veins on his neck sticking out. He was furious, but Cody didn’t care. It had been the right thing to do, and he wasn’t going to apologize or make excuses or back down.
“Maybe I did say too much. Maybe I felt like it was better if she knew.”
“Better for who? Her? Or us?”
“Both. Maybe I didn’t want this big, ugly secret hanging over our heads. It’s better this way. She knows everything. We can all move forward--”
“Have you forgotten? She’s not into the lifestyle like we are.” Justin pivoted, staring at the doorway, wondering when he’d see Candi again. And, more importantly, wondering if she’d look at him like he was dirty, a freak, when he finally was face-to-face with her. “She might not be able to get past this.”
“If she can’t be with us because of that, then it’s better to know now. I’ll deal with it. Somehow. I just couldn’t keep dodging her questions. I love her. She deserves our honesty. She deserves our trust. She deserves a chance to make a choice.”
“Fuck.” Justin went to the door, opened it, stared down into the empty staircase. She wasn’t there. God, how he wished she was. How he wished she’d come racing up those fucking steps and throw herself into his arms and tell him she loved him and trusted him. But she was gone. For all of...five minutes. Already, he could feel that hollow, empty sensation in his chest. It hurt. Physically. He needed things to be okay between them. He wouldn’t be able to do anything, think about anything else, until they were. “I need to talk to her.” He started through the door, but Cody stopped him this time.
“No, give her some space, some time. She has a lot to think about. If you crowd her now, she could run.”
“Or if we leave her to try to sort through this by herself, she could panic.”
“Shit, you’re right.” Cody shoved his fingers through his hair. “Dammit, this is a tough one.” He paced back and forth a couple of times. “No, we should give her some space. That’s what she needs. We don’t want to come on too strong, or look too pushy. Listen to me, saying that. Isn’t that funny?” His chuckle was mirthless.
“I’m not pushy. I’ve never been pushy.”
“Easy, bro. I know that.” Cody threw his arm around his brother, giving his shoulder a shake. “She loves us. You know it. I know it. Give her time to see it too.”
“Fuck that. I’m going to find her. I just need to make sure she’s okay.”
“Dammit. Hold on. I’ll come with you. I think I know where she’ll be.”
Chapter 7
Thomas Cooper. Loving husband and father. Born 1963. Died 2008.
Candi sat on the grass, tears streaming from her eyes.
“What the hell was wrong with you?” she whispered. “What did you do? What kind of monster were you?” She dragged her hand under her nose. “Did I even know you?”
She didn’t. That was the ugly truth. Her own father had been a stranger. A man she’d set on a pedestal and worshipped. The world’s perfect father. The world’s only perfect man.
What an idiot she’d been.
Not only was he not perfect, but he’d been a horrid monster. A monster who had hurt two very innocent, very sweet young boys so badly they’d never be the same.
And yet, she still couldn’t despise him.
“I should hate you for this,” she shouted at his gravestone. “You lied to me, made me believe you were something you weren’t.”
She bent her knees, wrapped her arms around her shins and held herself as tremors quaked through her body and sobs tore from her throat.
* * * * *
Justin couldn’t handle another minute of this. Not another second. “Look at her.” Sitting in their truck, he poked his finger at the window.
“She’s working through her pain,” Cody said, sounding calm and sure. How the hell could he be so fucking calm when they were watching Candi fall apart? “When she’s ready, she’ll come back to us and then we can help her.”
“She needs us. Now. Not later. We’re all she has.” He jerked his head toward the window. “Look at her! Nobody should be alone when they’re that upset. We can’t sit here and just fucking watch.”
He stared out the window.
He counted to five then said, “To hell with this.” He shoved open his door. “Fuck this sitting and waiting. Fuck this whole give-her-space bullshit.” This was Candi, his Candi sitting on the wet ground, crying. His precious Candi. Now, more than at any time, she needed his comfort, his protection.