by Rhonda Bowen
When she finally got to the last note, she let it hang in the air like the breeze after a strong gust of wind. Then the final chime of the piano, and silence. So complete and so deafening that JJ’s eyes popped open, wondering if at some point the room had emptied. She blinked and stepped back shakily from the microphone when she realized that everyone was looking at her. The busy bees with the clipboards had stopped moving, Kate’s fingers on her phone had stopped typing, even the musician’s gum-smacking had ceased. The silence hung for a long moment and panic seized JJ’s heart like a rough fist. She had overdone it, just like Rayshawn had feared. She had wrecked the song. Totally and completely trashed Deacon’s song right in front of him, and now they were about to throw her out.
“What was your name again?” Kate asked.
JJ struggled to speak. “JJ—Judith Isaacs.”
“Hmm.” Kate looked down at her clipboard and JJ noticed her strike something through. She flinched as if the pen had literally been scratched across her.
“Thank you, JJ,” she said, still scanning her list. “Who’s next?”
JJ felt her shoulders slump as she returned to the musician to retrieve her music. The woman stared at her, a strange expression on her face.
“Thanks,” JJ said, collecting her music.
The redhead nodded. “See you in the morning.”
It wasn’t until she was off the stage and almost back in her corner that she realized what the woman was implying.
She had made it to the next round!
JJ let out a sigh of relief. Looked like she would live to sing another day.
Chapter 11
The five a.m. wake-up call was beyond unwelcome for JJ. She knew that she should be grateful that she was still at Deacon’s mansion as one of five girls who had made it to the final screening, but four hours of sleep had not been nearly enough. Plus she was more than a little annoyed that she hadn’t heard a peep out of Rayshawn since her audition the night before. A glance at her cell phone confirmed that he hadn’t even left her a text message. This was not the time for him to pull one of his disappearing acts. But that’s what you got for having a covert relationship with your manager. On days like this, their relationship was so covert that JJ wasn’t even sure it really existed. But she didn’t have the energy or time to contemplate that this morning. With her eyes burning, she stumbled to the en suite bathroom, took a quick shower, and changed into her other set of clothes. By the time she got downstairs, it was five forty-five.
She found four other girls in the kitchen. Another African American young woman with short hair and huge, ruby-stained lips was in a corner on her phone. A girl who looked to be a native Canadian, wearing earphones and sunglasses, was hunched over a bottle of water and some fruit. Two others chatted with each other near the refrigerator. None looked interested in talking with JJ. With a sigh she headed to the table where a spread of beverages, fruits, and pastries were laid out. Knowing better than to eat, JJ prepared herself a cup of camomile tea with a touch of honey. Then she settled at the table across from Miss Sunglasses and waited.
“Not eating?”
She was surprised when the woman addressed her.
“No,” JJ said finally. “We don’t know when we’ll be singing, and you don’t want to sing on a full stomach.”
JJ took a sip of her tea as the woman looked down at her fruit plate of oranges, grapes, and strawberries.
“And it’s probably none of my business, but you might want to skip the oranges,” JJ added. “The citrus will dry out your throat.”
The hiss of teeth drew both women’s attention to the corner of the room.
“You do know this is a competition, right?” Miss Cell Phone said, scowling. “You can’t be dishing out free advice. They’re only picking three of us.”
“Three?” JJ echoed. “I thought Deacon needed four backups.”
“He does,” one of the women near the refrigerator commented. “But little Miss Keyboards from last night is already in one of those spots.”
JJ looked around at the other women. All the faces seemed to suggest a common knowledge of this information just supplied to JJ. “How do you already know this?”
“’Cause you learn things when you go through the whole audition instead of coming in during the last rounds,” Miss Cell Phone said, before going back to her phone call.
JJ looked down at her tea, heat creeping up her neck. So Rayshawn had slipped her into the final round of the audition. It would make sense that the others were a bit resentful. They’d had to work their way to this point, while she just came in at the last minute and stole a spot. Okay. Maybe she could find a little forgiveness for his current behavior then.
“Forget about her,” Miss Sunglasses said. “She’s just mad ’cause she had to get up early. I’m Diana, by the way.”
“JJ.”
After finishing her tea, JJ excused herself to return to her room, where she did a few minutes of quick vocal warm-ups before returning to the main area to find that two other women she remembered from the night before had joined their group. However, before she could join Diana at the table again, Kate entered.
“Okay, ladies, let’s go. This morning is going to go really fast.”
She wasn’t lying. Just a few more rounds of group singing like the night before, and then they were asked to do one more solo audition, with a piece of their choice. JJ watched the other women enter and leave the same room from the night before for their solos. She was second to last, with Diana bringing up the rear.
“Good luck,” Diana said, nodding at JJ before she entered the room.
“You too,” JJ called back, knowing she probably wouldn’t see the young woman again before she went in for her own audition.
It was a much smaller crowd than the night before. In fact, the only persons present were Deacon, another gentleman, Andrew, who introduced himself as being from Deacon’s label, Sound City, and of course Kate, whose role JJ still hadn’t been able to define. They asked JJ a little about her background and why she wanted to sing with Deacon Hill. For a moment it seemed more like an interview than an audition.
“So, like you were told, for this section we want you to perform something that you think represents you,” Kate said finally. “We need to know who you are as a musician—what you think your strengths are and how versatile you are. So whenever you’re ready, you can give Sabrina your music and get started.”
JJ glanced over at the female keyboardist from the night before, then behind her at the band setup she had noticed when she came in. It included drums, a second keyboard, a bass like Dean’s, and several guitars.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could play my own accompaniment,” JJ said, turning back to the judges.
Kate and Andrew looked at each other, surprised, while Deacon’s formerly blank expression cracked slightly into something JJ couldn’t define.
“Uh . . . sure,” Andrew said.
JJ chose the acoustic guitar, plugged it into an amp, and adjusted the mikes and stool until she was comfortable. This was her last chance to show Deacon Hill that she was the one he should pick as his backup artist. She knew they were looking for singers, but it never hurt to show them what else she could do, and she knew she could play a guitar like nobody’s business.
“The song I’ll be doing is ‘I’m Yours.’ ”
She hadn’t sung this song in a while, but she didn’t need to practice the song that she had composed herself. She had played it with Dean until the chords were imprinted on her fingertips and the melody engraved on her heart. So when she started playing, she didn’t miss a single note, and for the most part she kept her eyes on Deacon.
It was a love song. When Rayshawn first heard it, he thought it would make a great ballad. But it wasn’t that kind of love song. It was a love song to her Savior. One she hadn’t thought about in a long time. And as the words flowed through her lips and crawled over her heart, she remembered when she used to have that kind of
love. When God used to be her every breath, her every inspiration, her reason for living and being. When her life was so completely his that she couldn’t tell where he started and she ended. She missed that feeling. That place of security, the safe haven of his love. She had wandered away from it, and she hadn’t realized how cold it had been outside his love, until embers of it reached out to her through this song.
When her fingers stilled on the guitar, she had to close her eyes a moment, until the emotions welling up inside her subsided. When she finally looked up, Deacon’s eyes were the first to meet hers, and as he looked at her, something there told her that he knew the real love behind her song.
“Okay,” Kate said, letting out a deep breath. “Thank you again, JJ. We’ll let you know—”
“You’re in.”
Four pairs of eyes stared at Deacon in surprise.
He shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. “I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to wait until after and decide together, but I already knew last night that I wanted you on my team, and after this”—he motioned to the guitar—“this just confirms it,” he said. “Can you play electric?”
JJ nodded mutely.
“Then you’re gonna fit right in with Sabrina. And maybe now we can get that girl band that I’ve been asking for.”
“So . . . I’m in?” JJ asked, slipping off the stool.
Kate glanced over at Deacon, who nodded. A reluctant smile stretched her lips. “Well, you heard the man. You’re in.”
JJ jumped off the stool and squealed, “I’m in!”
Sabrina laughed, Andrew chuckled, and Kate rolled her eyes. But Deacon was grinning from ear to ear and so was JJ. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she was back in God’s favor after all.
Chapter 12
She was standing by the nurses’ station when he finally showed up. She almost missed him completely, thanks to her nurse friend, Janice, who had been talking her ear off for half an hour. But if it wasn’t for Janice she wouldn’t have figured out his schedule anyway, so she couldn’t complain.
“Dr. Massri!”
He turned the corner and kept walking. But she wasn’t letting him get away that easily. Grateful that she had chosen Converses that morning, she took off in a run-walk down the hospital corridor after him.
“Hey! Dr. Simon Massri,” she called, drawing eyes to her. “I know you can hear me!”
She noticed someone say something to him. He suddenly stopped, then pulled earbuds out of his ears and turned around.
“Think you can get away from me? Nice try,” JJ said, stopping dead in front of him, hands on her hips. “What’s this about you leaving? How are you supposed to help Sheree through her pregnancy if you’re not here?”
Sheree had shared with JJ the news about the doctor’s potential departure the day after she got back from her Deacon Hill audition. With only two days before rehearsals for Deacon Hill’s tour started in full force, she knew she had little time to convince Dr. Massri to change his mind.
His mouth was slightly open, but he didn’t answer. Just stared at her. Well, not so much her, but her crown. Then after what seemed like forever, he said, “Your hair . . .”
JJ blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Your hair. . . it was short”—he motioned to the mass of curls that haloed her face and escaped down her shoulders—“but now it’s long again. . . like before. . . but . . .”
JJ folded her arms and let him hang himself trying to find words. He scratched his head in confusion and she shook her head. Clearly this mixed-race man didn’t have many black women in his world.
His brow furrowed. “Didn’t you cut it?”
“No, it was just a wig,” JJ said with a grin. “It’s more convenient for shows to have it that way. You just caught me in between visits to Tracy.”
“Tracy?”
JJ rolled her eyes. “Never mind that. Can we get back to the subject at hand? You’re leaving?”
He was still staring at her hair. JJ snapped her fingers above her head to grab his attention. She had never seen him act this strange before.
“Oh! Uh . . . yeah. I’ve been asked to go to Malawi to do physician-level training with nurses and health care staff who work in rural hospitals.”
“So tell them you can’t go,” JJ said.
His left eyebrow shot up to his hairline.
“You can’t just leave my sister like this.”
He looked confused. “I thought she was your sister-in-law . . .”
“She needs you,” JJ continued, ignoring his comment.
“You’re the one who realized something was wrong with her pregnancy and figured out that it was a placental abruption. Without that we might have lost my nephew.”
“Look, I understand your concern,” Simon said, going into physician-speaking-to-family mode. “But you have nothing to worry about. This is one of the best maternity wards in North America, with some of the best OBs. Your sister will get nothing but the best care—”
“I’m not your patient. Stop patronizing me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are,” JJ countered, hands on her hips. “And you know it. I know this is a decent hospital.”
“Then you also know Mrs. Isaacs will be fine.”
“I can’t be sure of that unless you’re here,” JJ said.
Simon shrugged and began to back away. “I’m sorry. I’ve already made a commitment.”
He turned and began to walk away, but JJ wasn’t done yet.
“So change it,” she said, following him down the hall. “Tell them you have an emergency. Tell them you’ll come in three and a half months. Sheree will be due by then. As soon as the baby is born, you can take the next flight out.”
He glanced across at her, eyebrows furrowed. “Is this how things work in your world? You just ask people to drop everything to do what you want and they say yes?”
“No,” JJ said, stopping suddenly.
When he realized that she wasn’t still walking with him, he stopped and turned around to look at her.
“In my world, I never ask anyone for anything,” JJ said. “There aren’t many people to ask anyway. But this is not for me, it’s for Sheree. She’s doing the best she can with this baby, but it’s hard for her, hard for all of us.”
JJ’s gaze dropped, the emotion rushing through her making it hard for her to look at him. She had come to realize that the ties binding her family together had lately become nothing more than a single thin cord, and she was afraid that the weight of another tragedy, another disappointment, would break that cord and scatter them so far it would be impossible for them to reconnect once more. Sheree and Dean needed this baby to be okay for their marriage to have even a possibility of working. Sydney and Sheree needed this baby to be okay to cement their tentative truce of forgiveness. They all needed this baby so their family could be whole in ways it hadn’t been for a long time. And JJ was afraid that might not happen if this man, who had more giftedness in his pinkie finger than all the hospital staff combined, didn’t stick around.
“You can’t go,” she said, looking up at him. “Please.”
Everything was all over her face. She could see it in his eyes as he looked at her, just like she could see him struggle with what she was asking him to do.
“You really love her, don’t you.”
Love? Sheree?
JJ had never thought about it. But now that she had. . .
She shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
He tapped his clipboard against his fingers as he chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. Full brown lips, with the slightest hue of pink underneath. JJ was surprised at how difficult she found it to pull her eyes away from his mouth. Then he turned his intense eyes on her and JJ lost her breath for a moment.
“You have somewhere to be right now?” he asked after a long moment.
She blinked, surprised at his question. “Uh, well, I was gonna run
over to the studio to get some time in, then go do some work at my mother’s shop . . .”
He glanced at his watch, then moved off down the hallway. “Come with me.”
She scurried to catch up with him, his long legs making it a challenge.
“Where are we going?”
“Wait here,” he answered as he ducked into an office. Through the glass window she saw him talk with someone she couldn’t see. He laughed for a moment before handing over the clipboard and heading back to her.
“I need to go somewhere,” he said, heading back the way they had come. “Come with me and I’ll consider sticking around for the next few months.”
JJ was confused. “Wait. Go with you? As in leave the hospital with you?”
He glanced at his watch again, prompting JJ to look at her own. It was barely after seven a.m.
“If we leave now, we should be back before nine.”
She should ask more questions. Find out where they were going and for what purpose. Because truth be told, regardless of their history and their most recent re-acquaintance, she really did not know this man. How could she even consider going anywhere with him? Especially given how confused her emotions were around him?
“Okay, let’s go,” JJ said.
She tried to keep up with him as he took off down the corridor.
She really needed to start going to bed earlier.
JJ sat up with a start, momentarily disoriented.
Something was pressing against her chest. She reached up her hand to touch it. Seat belt? As she blinked, clearing the sleep from her eyes, she noticed the open road ahead of her. Nothing but fields on either side and not a house in sight. She looked across at the beautiful man sitting in the driver’s seat, his profile highlighted by the morning sun, his long locks like thin ropes pulled back from his strong face. The morning’s events came rushing back to her.