“Go ahead,” I said while going up the stairs with the cordless phone in my hand. I dialed the number for my mother’s mother first and walked toward my mother’s room to check on her. Her bedroom was empty, so I walked to her bathroom.
When the phone just rang and rang, I sighed. My grandmother on my mother’s side had picked now to not answer her phone. I knocked on my mother’s bathroom door.
“Mom?”
I waited for her voice.
The phone continued to ring. I figured she knew it was me calling and was purposely avoiding answering the call.
“Mom?”
I opened the bathroom door.
Once my grandmother’s answering machine came on, I waited for the beep, while scanning my mother’s bathroom for her.
“Mom?”
Still no response.
I assumed my mother was in the tub. The phone beeped, allowing me to leave a message. I walked toward the tub while saying into the phone, “Hi, Granny. This is Giselle,” I reached for the shower curtain. “I really need to talk... .” My voice trailed off at what I saw, and I dropped the phone and screamed at the top of my lungs.
My mother was in a tub filled with water and blood. I stared at the gaping wound on one of her wrists, where she had sliced through her vein. One look at her lifeless eyes told me she was dead.
“I know you are against doing this, Giselle. But, really, what else are you going to do? Your mother is dead. Your father is dead. It’s all on you now. You got your little brother rotting away in jail. You need to get him out.”
I wiped tears off my face at the mention of my mother. A few days had passed, and I still had not been able to get that image of her out of my head. She had committed suicide. She’d slit one of her wrists. Although I never shared this with Lexi, I felt responsible for her death. There was no telling if she had done it the night that Lexi and I had gone out. If I had checked on her, like I normally did, maybe I would have been able to save her. Brandon didn’t even know. When he called, I pretended everything was okay. I didn’t mention Mom was dead. I was not looking forward to telling him the truth. It was a truth that killed me softly. I would never see her again. First, I lost my father, and now my mother.
I couldn’t get her eyes out of my head. She was the woman I had respected and looked up to all my life. The one I wanted to be like. And just like my daddy, I had lost her too soon. The thought that killed me the most was that she was so far gone that she wanted her life to end. The pain to end. And now, I would never be able to see her again. If by chance my brother and I did go to college and have families, the chairs for my parents would be empty. My future children would not have grandparents. I covered my face again with my hands as this new reality hit me and made me sob.
I thought back to how hard it was seeing them carry my mother’s dead body out of our house. I closed my eyes briefly, shaking my head. This just didn’t seem real, and it didn’t seem right. Why did my parents have to be taken away? My brother and I were not bad kids. We weren’t. We always did as we were told—while some of the worst kids in the world had their parents and didn’t have to deal with a fraction of what my brother and I were dealing with. All the negative thoughts I had had about my mother since her depression came rushing into my head, making me feel like shit.
Lexi rubbed my hand. “It’s going to be okay, girl. Your mother just couldn’t hold on anymore. And now it’s just you and your little bro.”
Damn. I wished I could turn back time. I wished that I had tried to help my mother overcome her pain, her grief, her depression. I should have sat with her, done her hair, like when I was little. Tried to drag her out of the house. I should’ve kept telling her that I loved her, and maybe it would have helped. I could have pushed her out of the despair that she was in by playing some board games with her or watching her favorite shows with her. But instead, I was frustrated and gave her maybe a few minutes a day, brought her food and something to drink, checked on her briefly, and left it at that. And sometimes, out of annoyance with the mood she was in, I didn’t bother. It was too late now to change any of this. She was gone. The reality of the shit was killing me because I felt responsible.
And now I had to continue to hold everything together. Again, I asked myself how I was going to tell my brother that Mom was dead. Would he blame me for it? Hate me? Feel the same guilt I felt? Who knew? But I knew that I needed him there with me to deal with this hurt. I told myself that if I had to show some nudity, I would just have to. It was to free my brother.
Case in point, Lexi managed to get me to roll with her to do some work. We were going back to that mansion where she had made all her money—even though I didn’t want to do this. I really had no nerve. I just couldn’t stop crying.
“We’re almost there, Giselle. You are going to have to wipe your face.”
I nodded and dried my eyes quickly.
We were in Westwood. I knew this only because Lexi had continued to talk about the house and where it was. I hadn’t really paid much attention.
“I thought only white people could afford to live in these mansions. But, girl, the man is obviously about his business, because he is straight balling!” she exclaimed.
I really was not listening to what she said. My heart was aching for my mother. I asked myself again how I was going to tell Brandon about this.
“Here it is, girl.”
There were two wide-framed iron gates that protected this huge estate, which seemed to never end. She pulled up to the gates. There was what looked to be a surveillance camera there. She paused and waited. Then the gates of the estate opened up wide enough for her to slide her car inside. She drove along a long stretch, like she was driving through a park.
“Girl, I told you this place was big.”
I didn’t reply.
It took her almost ten minutes to get to the back of the estate. She pulled into a spot and parked.
“Giselle, tell me that this place isn’t tight.”
I simply nodded.
“Did you see how big that swimming pool was?”
I wasn’t paying attention to it. Any of it. But to this I nodded as well.
“Well, come on, girl. Let’s go.”
After we got out of the car, I followed after Lexi.
“Girl, come on!” I wasn’t keeping up, so Lexi grabbed me by the hand and pulled me toward the door.
A huge black man who looked like he could be a security guard opened the door for us.
“Hey, Wingo!” Lexi greeted him excitedly.
His office seemed state of the art, with several video cameras. I could see the front of the house, where we drove into the parking structure, and other areas, which I assumed were the studio. There was a walkie-talkie in his office, and someone was speaking on it. He turned it off quickly.
“Hey, Lexi.” He inspected me before saying, “You brought someone to work?” He kept eyeing me.
“Yes, and she is all about business.”
I looked away from him.
“Well, I can see that she is fine. Damn. Sometimes I wish I was one of the actors.”
“Wingo, you’re crazy!”
“Let me see your ID.”
I pulled it out and showed it to him.
He scanned it, handed it back to me, and said, “Walk her down to intake.”
“Okay,” Lexi said.
I slid my ID back into my pocket.
We walked out of the office and headed down a corridor. I followed after Lexi. She stopped in front of a door. There was a sign on the door that said KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING.
Lexi knocked, and a woman said, “Enter.”
Lexi turned the doorknob, opened the door, and I followed after her. I was surprised to see an older lady seated behind a desk. She looked like she was old enough to be my mother. She had brown skin and cherub features, was chubby, and had on a pair of glasses. To her right, a slim, light-skinned girl was completely nude. A young-looking black man was taking pictures of her. H
e looked like he was the same age as Lexi and me and wore baggy jeans and a T-shirt.
I looked away, while Lexi and everybody else in the room acted like this was perfectly normal. I guess, given what I was about to do, it was.
“Hey, Nette!” Lexi exclaimed. She was treating these people like they were her friends. She was so comfortable with them. Maybe it wasn’t all bad here.
“Hey, Miss Lexi. What you got going, girl?”
“Well, I came to put in some work today,” Lexi sang. “And I brought someone who would like to try out. My friend Giselle.”
Nette studied me. Her eyes scanned my body like the security guard had earlier. “You’re very pretty, so there is no doubt that we can use you. Immediately. Today.”
I nodded.
“But the question is, can she prove she is eighteen? Because you know how Giovanni feels about that. We aren’t trying to get into trouble of any kind. No matter how pretty she is.”
“Giselle, pull out your ID,” Lexi ordered.
I slid my California ID out of my pocket and handed it to Nette.
“Thank you.” Her eyes scanned my ID, and then she looked back at my face.
I looked away from her. I swallowed hard, trying to get the lump in my throat to go away. It wouldn’t. It had been there since the police and ambulance arrived and took my mother away.
She stood and walked over to a copy machine. She made a copy of my ID and gave it back to me. Next, she gave me some forms on a clipboard and a pen. I knew that one of them was a 1099 form. There was also some type of release form.
“You can have a seat and fill that out quickly. Now, this does not guarantee work. But we always do intake and screening first. Ultimately, it is up to our producer, but like I said, I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t use you. We need some fresh meat. We have been getting the same girls. So that was great of Lexi to bring you in.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Okay. You’re done,” said the guy taking pictures of the girl. He handed her a short silk robe.
She silently put it on, then slipped her clothes and shoes in a bag.
The guy was doing something with the camera he had. He told her, “Go down the hall. First door on your right. Good luck.”
“Thank you,” the girl said excitedly before rushing out the door.
Nette picked up the phone and pressed an intercom button.
A man’s husky voice chimed in. “Yes?”
“You got a girl coming your way, Percy,” she said and quickly hung up.
Lexi sat down next to me. “She told me the same thing when I came in, and you know I worked.”
I nodded and filled out the forms, surprised at how professional this all was. When I was done, I brought them back to Nette.
She scanned them quickly and then placed them all in a manila folder. She wrote my name on the tab and said, “Okay. Go ahead and strip down so we can get some pictures from you for our file. Sean will be taking the pictures of you, like he did the other young lady.”
I was a little slow to respond when she said that part. I was not comfortable with the idea of stripping down in front of anyone. I knew I had to do this, though. But the thought made me super uncomfortable.
“Honey, if you’re afraid to do this now, then you can’t possibly work.” That was Nette.
Lexi jumped in quick. “She’s definitely ready to work.”
“Okay. Well, you have to hurry. We do have more people coming in,” Nette said. “This is preliminary. After these shots, you have to be screened by the producer.”
I was puzzled by that, since she had said she needed new faces. I figured it was just a way to put pressure on me. I knew I needed to do this. I took a deep breath and began stripping out of my clothes and shoes. When I was completely nude, I stood there, embarrassed, as the camera guy stared at all my curves.
It wasn’t until Nette cleared her throat that he picked up the camera.
I kept my eyes closed at he took his shots, until he commanded me to open them. “I need to see your eyes.”
I tried to look at the white wall past his frame and past the camera in his hand. After several shots, he told me the same thing he’d told the young woman. He handed me a robe, and as I put it on, Lexi went into one of the cabinets in the room and pulled out a bag to place my things in.
I tied the silk sash on the robe and stared down at my feet.
“You’re done,” he said.
“Okay, Lexi can show her where to go,” said Nette. “Good luck, pretty lady. I hope this is a wonderful start to us working together. There is something special about you. Something tells me I’m going to see you again ... in some way.” I watched her hand Lexi a wad of hundred dollar bills. “And this is your finder’s fee.”
Lexi had left out the part about how she was going to get paid for bringing me here. But I was too focused on following through with this. I tried to give Nette a smile, but I knew it was so tight, it probably looked like I grimaced. So I gave a wave and followed Lexi out the door.
Once we reached the room, I sat in the robe and rubbed my fingers together while we waited. It took about five minutes for the other girl to come out of the next room, and then I was allowed to go in.
When I walked into the room, I was greeted by a man sitting behind an oval table. I stood near the door.
“How you doing?” He had creamy brown skin. His head was shaved, and he had a black teardrop tattoo under one of his eyes. He looked to be in his early thirties.
“Hi.”
“I’m Percy. I cast all the films for my boy Giovanni, and you’re here, so I’m assuming you want to work.”
I nodded.
“First things first. So we don’t waste our or your time. Are you sure you are going to be able to do this? ’Cause if you can’t, that’s cool. Just let a nigga know. I mean, you are a young, pretty girl. But this kind of work is not for everybody.”
I swallowed hard before saying, “I want to do this.”
“Okay. Take off the robe so I can see what you are working with.”
With shaking hands, I undid the sash and let the robe slide open.
As soon as it did, Percy did a sharp intake of breath. He commanded, “Take the robe completely off and turn around.”
I did this as well.
“Damn! I love my muthafucking job.” After a few seconds, Percy said, “Okay. You can put it back on. If you want to.” He winked, making me laugh.
I nodded and did, turning back around as I tied the sash.
“Giselle, right? Baby, you passed. You can go to the set,” Percy said.
“That’s it?”
I watched him add my name to a list of other names and write the number four next to my name.
“Yeah. You ain’t at no Fortune Five Hundred company. That’s it, as long as they determined you are an adult, and I know they did, because if they didn’t, you would not be in here. Now, I don’t mind keeping your sexy ass in here to entertain me, but that wouldn’t be productive. And Giovanni is my boy, so I have to keep it professional. You’re safe in our hands, baby girl. Go on in there. Now, the director I’m sending you to, Rodney, can be a little verbally abusive, but he means no harm. He has timelines and deadlines he has to get to. Giovanni be on our heads. That’s my right-hand man, so I can’t let no ladies on the set that are not on point, and you definitely are. Go onto the set.”
I know this might sound crazy, but as much as I needed the money, I secretly hoped that they would not hire me. I didn’t want to do this.
Chapter 5
This is for my brother, I silently told myself. When I made it to the main set, which had scattered tables, couches, chairs, a wardrobe, and studio equipment, two ladies beckoned me over to a chair. As soon as I sat down, one started packing makeup on my face, while the other pulled out my ponytail and started running a flatiron though my hair. There were several guys and women seated in the room. Each one had on a robe, and all the women had their hair and make
up already done. Lexi was seated with us and was as quiet as a church mouse.
Nette came into the room with a clipboard and said, “Ladies, gentlemen, listen for the room number. When I call your name and number, you will then report to that room.”
Several ladies and guys rushed off as their names and room numbers were called. When some of the room numbers were called, more than one girl or guy rushed out. I remembered Lexi saying that that happened. There were still some people waiting to hear their name.
I jumped when I heard, “Giselle. Report to room four.”
I stood on shaky feet and walked to the room. Once I got there, I saw that it was just like Lexi had said. I was familiar with what they were doing because I had taken a film class with Lexi our junior year of high school. The set looked like someone’s bedroom. One man was adjusting a camera. The man who shot me and that girl earlier was fiddling with a huge light, while another was positioning a huge microphone over the bed. Once he positioned the light, he started flicking on a computer monitor.
I took a deep breath as my heart started beating faster by the second.
Next, they gave me a flimsy pink negligee to put on. I was able to slip behind a divider to do so. Once I untied my robe, I heard someone say, “All right. Let’s get started.” I pulled the negligee over my head and walked back toward the bed.
The other two men were gone, and it was just one man behind a camera.
“Get on the bed,” the camera guy ordered.
I sat down on the bed. The moment my body rested against the comforter, my hands started shaking.
“You have fifteen minutes on this bed. Then we move on to the next bitch, so you need to move your ass a little faster!”
I nodded, knowing this had to be the guy Percy had warned me about, Rodney.
“I’ll tell you what to do, and you do it. And you can yell as loud as you want. The studio is soundproof.”
Next thing I knew, the camera was all up in my face. After about a minute of it filming me sitting on the bed, with a fake smile planted on my face, the guy holding it ordered, “Take that shit off!” My hands were still trembling, but I managed to pull the negligee up and over my head so that I was nude on the bed.
Sweet Giselle Page 4