“I can’t do shit!” Percy asserted. “Let the shit play out how it’s going to play out. And you’re safer with my boy than you are with that twisted muthafucka you married.” He turned and walked away.
“Wait!” I screamed. “Percy, don’t leave me here!” I continued to scream his name.
Percy ignored me and walked toward his car. When I saw him get in his car and speed away, I sobbed and threw myself on the ground in defeat. This was all too crazy for me. Percy had killed Wingo. Wingo was slime, just like my husband was. And I was left with Bryce, to be used as a pawn against my husband, whom I now hated. Then suppose they find Brianna, I thought. What will happen to me? Do I go back to my husband and continue to live a lie, which I now know my life with him is?
I felt so dumb. I had married a child molester. I had gone into this marriage blindsided. He seemed like the kindest, sweetest person in the world, one who would never hurt a child, and he was destroying their whole world. And there I was, like a dumb ass, standing proudly right beside him. Flying all across the world and shopping while he was doing this crazy shit in our house! Why in the fuck didn’t I know about something happening right under my nose? My marriage was over; my magical life was as well. And no one cared about what was going to happen to me. I guessed I was going to pay for my husband’s sins.
I refused to eat when we got back to my cage. Bryce didn’t give a shit. He let me throw myself on my bed and cry my eyes out.
I felt so lost, and I didn’t know what to do about my situation. If Giovanni still had Bryce’s little sister and if he gave her back, I would be expected to go back to Giovanni. I couldn’t. I had to divorce him. But that meant I faced yet another dilemma. Where would I live? How would I live? What about my brother? Since Giovanni was clearly not the man I had thought he was, he was a stranger to me. Judging by the DVD that I saw, he was a dangerous and violent man that I would not, for any reason, want in my life. My mother and father were probably both rolling over in their graves at the mere thought of me being married to someone like him. I again wondered if, when Bryce got his sister back, he would send me back to my husband. And if I told Giovanni that I had no further desire to be married to him, would he let me divorce him? It was too much to think about. So I slept the day away.
Later on that night I was surprised when Bryce came to my room. He usually did not come back until the next day. He cleared his throat and stood in doorway. Now when I look at him, I couldn’t help but feel bad about what he was going through with his sister being missing—and about her violent rape at the hands of my husband. I could only imagine the hurt he felt and the dread of not knowing where she was. I mean, I had a little brother, and as an older sibling, you felt it was your responsibility to protect them. I knew that was how I felt about my brother, and Bryce probably felt the same. Judging from what I had learned about him in this short time, it seemed that he was the protective type.
It would also kill me if I didn’t know where my brother was. I didn’t even think I would be able to function. It brought me back to when my brother was in jail. I was so stressed, I couldn’t eat or sleep until he was back home, safe with me. Despite all the hate I initially felt for Bryce, my empathy for him warmed my icy heart a little bit and it made me not see him as such a bad guy. I still didn’t like his ass though. And the attraction was just that. He was an attractive man. That was all. Someone more handsome than my husband.
“Giselle, I got some business that can’t wait. I will be gone for about four days. I’m leaving you here with my brother. Don’t try no stupid shit, or I will be on your ass when I come back,” he threatened.
I ignored him and crawled under my covers.
He walked over to the bed and sat down on it. I wondered why but ignored him. When he wouldn’t leave, after a few seconds I asked, “Don’t you have a crazy girlfriend to go bother?” I wanted to kick myself in the ass for saying that shit. I was showing what I felt—jealous about another woman saying he belonged to her. Why the fuck did I even care?
“She was never my woman. Just some chick I fucked with from time to time, when I wanted to hit on something. But after what she did, I had to let her ass go. She was bad for business. Why you care?”
Yes, Giselle. Why do you care? I asked myself silently.
“You trying to be my girl, Giselle? Fulfill all my needs and shit?”
“Fuck no!”
That made him laugh. During all these weeks, I had never heard him laugh before. It softened up his face some, seemed to relax his body. He looked even more handsome. There was alcohol on his breath. So I guessed he was being nice because he was drunk.
Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine and he was kissing me. I was kissing him back. Our tongues battled with each other. I could now taste the liquor on his tongue. His fingers started playing with my nipples. I moaned against his mouth as they hardened. What the fuck was I doing, and what was I allowing him to do to me? Something that felt good, was the only reply I could give to myself. He stuck two fingers into my pussy and started finger banging the shit out of me. I moaned loudly as his mouth started licking my nipples. The rush of his mouth on my breasts and his fingers plunging in and out of my wetness were all too much for me to handle. Then I felt shock waves pulse through my feet and on up to my legs, until I felt myself convulsing.
That was how he left me. With more confusion and dread. I liked what Bryce was doing to me, even before I knew about my husband, and although I didn’t want to admit it, I liked Bryce, too.
The four days that Bryce left me were not too bad, because of Angel. He didn’t just bring my food to me. He played cards with me and even brought a TV, a DVD player, and DVDs for me to watch. He even brought a Wii for us to play. He was so sweet, it was hard for me to hate him. Actually, he reminded me of my little brother. He was only two years older than him. But the thing I couldn’t understand was why Bryce had his brother selling drugs for him. So I got the courage up to ask him.
“Angel, you seem really smart, and you have a nice personality. You don’t have to work for your brother. So why do you?”
He chuckled. “Okay. How can I explain this? Have you ever seen the movie American Gangster with Denzel Washington?”
I thought back and remembered seeing it. “Yeah. I saw it.”
“Do you remember T.I.’s part? He was a baseball player. His uncle had enough pull that he could have gone to the leagues and played. But in the end he decided against it because he wanted to be just like his uncle.”
“But I’m sure any older brother who knows where selling drugs will lead you would be against their younger sibling selling it as well, so—”
“Plain and simple. If I didn’t do it for my brother, I would do it for someone else, whether my brother approved or not. So why not have me do it for you and give you the opportunity to mentor and monitor me in the game?”
“I guess. I never thought about it like that.” It made sense, though.
“To be honest, my brother doesn’t know. I didn’t want to tell him and he get his hopes all up and then I don’t follow through. But I recently applied to go to school for aviation. I don’t know... . I have always been interested in that. Being able to fly airplanes and shit. Imagine me, your boy from the hood, flying across the country. That would be some way-out shit.”
I laughed. “I think that would be a good field for you to get into.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes!” I slapped him on the arm gently. “Why question it?”
“I’m not. I’m just questioning myself. I tell you what. If I can get through the first month, I’ll let Bryce know. I’m sure it will make him happy. He doesn’t want me working for him or anyone else in the dope game, anyway. My mother”—he swatted his hand like there were flies present—“she don’t care. But I’m sure my sister will be happy.” His face looked a little sad when he mentioned his sister.
“I hope you find her.”
He offered a smile. “I hope so, too. Sometim
es I wonder if we had just ignored her wants and forced her to stay with one of us, would she be gone?”
“What do you mean?”
“My little sister was staying with our mother, and, well, all she cares about is getting high. So that gave my sister the opportunity to get caught up with the wrong crowd. And thus with your husband. But she is so attached to our mama and was always feeling like she had to stay around her to take care of her. But I guess that’s a typical kid. When I was that age, I felt that I had to protect my mother, too. But while I was protecting her, all she kept doing was letting me down, and eventually I gave up. My brother and I always made sure Bri had everything she needed. I can’t help but feel that I should have forced her to come stay with me. I could have kept a better eye on her.”
“Kids disappear all the time. No matter how good or bad the parents are, there is always that risk. From the hood to the suburbs. You know that. So please don’t beat yourself up for that. It wasn’t your fault. When a kid wants to do something, they are going to find a way to, and parents, grandparents, and yes, big brothers can’t do anything to stop them.” I hoped what I was saying was helping. He had to stop blaming himself, and if he didn’t want to stop doing that, he needed to forgive himself.
He gave me a soft smile. “Thanks, Giselle. For having a fucked-up hubby, you are not half bad.”
I laughed. “Anyhow, I hope to be on a plane you fly one of these days.”
“Really, you would put your life in my hands?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I’m going to start. For some strange reason, you gave me all the motivation I need.”
“When is school?”
“Two weeks.”
“You better go.”
He chuckled and said, “Let’s get into this Wii.”
I laughed with him and stood as he switched the game on.
The day that Bryce was supposed to come back, Angel got an urgent call. He didn’t tell me what it was about but said that he needed to hit a corner. He called up his homeboy named Bear and asked him to stay in the house until Bryce came back.
I understood why Bear was called that. He was big, black, hairy, and sweaty. But since he was Angel’s friend, I figured I’d be okay. And if I wasn’t? What could I do about it? I had no phones to call anyone. I was still their prisoner, or maybe a casualty of war.
Bear was also a little strange. What made me uncomfortable about him was the fact that he would not leave the room right away. He brought me food and water, and he would linger for a minute, watching me. And I didn’t like the way he looked at me. When he stopped in to bring me dinner, he stood near the door, watching me while I ate. But it was more like he was watching my body parts. Why would Angel leave me with someone like him?
I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the club sandwich I was eating. The sandwich dropped out of my hands when he turned around and I saw he had his dick out.
I jumped off the bed as if I had been burnt and backed into the wall, away from him. “What are you doing?”
He came walking toward me, blocking me into a corner. Then, out of nowhere, he slapped the shit out of me. I screamed as heat rushed to my face. He started tearing off my dress, and before long I was nude in front of him.
My heart started speeding up, because I knew he was going to rape me. With Bryce being gone, he was going to be successful. Images of being in that house with that crazy girl, Ponce, E, and JB flashed before me. I was going to get violated again. Although I was scared of this man, I knew I had to try to do something about it.
I tried to fight him off but was unsuccessful. I closed my eyes as he rubbed his hands all over my naked body.
“If you tell him, bitch, I will kill you! You ain’t shit. Just a fucking prisoner. Angel told me all about you.” He shoved me down to the floor and straddled me with his big body.
I thought quickly. I had to find some way of distracting him. “Wait, Bear. Slow down. Don’t you want your dick sucked?”
He froze and smiled. “Yeah.”
With a shaky voice I said, “Well, get up so I can do it already. Do it to you good.”
He got off me, walked to the edge of the bed, and sat on it. I followed him and dropped on my knees in front of him.
“Just close your eyes and relax,” I said, trying not to sound nervous with each word. But I was. I was scared shitless. I didn’t really know Angel or Bryce, and I definitely didn’t know Bear. So I was even more fearful of what he would do to me.
I rubbed my hand along his dick. I checked to make sure his eyes were closed before I stood quickly, pulled one of my legs back, and kneed him in his balls with all my strength.
He howled in pain and rolled onto the floor.
I stood to my feet and ran into the bathroom.
“You bitch! I’m going to kill you!”
I locked the door and frantically looked around for a weapon. But there was none. I jumped when he started kicking on the door over and over again, until the wood cracked. I stood nervously as the door gave way and he rushed inside.
“Bitch!” He slapped me again, and before I could recover from the blow, he threw me into the shower door with all his might.
The glass exploded, and I fell into the tub, landing on pieces of broken glass. I winced from the pain as a few pieces pierced my flesh. I slid my fingers along the tub, feeling for a wide, sharp piece. Once I felt one, I curled my fingers around it.
“I’m getting that pussy. And if you tell anybody, I will come back and fucking kill you!”
He kicked the remaining glass out of the shower door. Then he pulled me by my hair out of the tub to the floor. More pieces of the broken glass cut into my skin. I ignored the pain and the blood.
He straddled me again and forced my legs open.
As I continued to fight him with one hand, while I had the piece of glass hidden in the other, I begged, “Please don’t do this. Please let me go.”
It was like he snapped. “Bitch, you think you’re too good for me?” He started strangling me. I struggled underneath him, but he used all his man power to choke me. And he wouldn’t stop. The pressure on my neck was so tight, he was cutting off my windpipe. He repeated, “Bitch, you think you too good for me! I’m sick of bitches like you turning me down.”
When he refused to release his hold and I felt myself getting weak, I took the glass and plunged it into his neck with all my might.
His skin broke easily, and the glass went right in. He froze. I pulled it out and stabbed him again with it. I stabbed him over and over again. Blood started coming out of the gash and out of his mouth. But I kept on stabbing him relentlessly. His body collapsed. His entire weight fell on me, and he went limp.
I screamed and kept stabbing him. That was when I saw someone rush into the bathroom. It was Bryce, with a gun drawn and pointed at me.
He took one look at my naked body, then at Bear, and gasped. There was blood all over me, and I knew Bear was dead.
Chapter 13
Bryce rushed forward and yanked the piece of glass out of my hand. He then pulled me up and away from Bear.
The sight of Bryce caused my heart to beat at a more normal pace.
“He tried to rape me,” I whispered. I sobbed, my head buried in his shoulder.
I had just killed someone. I closed my eyes as tears slid down my face. The realization of what I had just done would change me forever. I knew I would never be the same. I wondered what would happen to me now. Would I go to prison for this? I knew how police were to rape victims, based on stuff I had seen on TV. They treated rape victims like they were the criminals. How much better would they treat a woman who was trying to stop a man from raping her and ended up killing him—even though she was never raped? And look how many times I stabbed him to make sure he was dead. Would they feel that I should have stabbed him only once or twice so that I could get away or that I didn’t have to end his life? Damn. They would lock me up.
These thoughts tha
t were flying through my head were torture. Thoughts of whether they would or would not lock me up, and whether I got away with this without anyone knowing? How would I be able to live with myself, knowing that I had killed someone? I had always been pure, gentle, calm, sweet, and pliant. Now I was a murderer. But I had to remind myself that I didn’t know Bear at all, and if I hadn’t killed Bear, he would have killed me. Still, I couldn’t get the image of me stabbing him in his neck out of my head.
Bryce carried me to the bed. He sat me on it gently, pulled out his cell, and started dialing someone’s number. “Where the fuck you at? I told you not to fucking leave!” He paused. “Look. I got a situation I need you to attend to. Call Hog!” He sat the phone on top of the dresser.
All I saw was the image of Bear’s face as death took over. I covered my face with my hands and felt the wetness of Bear’s blood. I felt even more sick.
Fifteen minutes later someone was banging on the door downstairs. Bryce left the bedroom, and I could hear him running down the steps. A minute later I could hear voices and running up the stairs.
One of them was Angel, with a guilty look on his face, and there was some other guy I had never seen before. But I assumed he was Hog. I guessed that Bryce had really fired the three guys that he had had kidnap me.
“Where is he?” Angel asked. He passed a look my way, then turned his attention back to his brother.
“In the bathroom,” Bryce told him.
They rushed past us. Bryce stood to his feet and carried me out of the room.
Bear’s voice came back into my head. You think you too good for me! I saw Bear’s face again as he choked me. I closed my eyes and started crying again.
Bryce held me tighter to his chest. The feel of his chest against mine comforted me. I wrapped my arms around him. “Please don’t leave me again. Please,” I begged.
“I’m not.”
I took a breath and continued to cry as more flashbacks came.
He carried me to another bedroom, walked inside, and laid me on the bed. I didn’t mind now. I saw him stand and go through another doorway in the bedroom. When I heard water running, I assumed it was the bathroom.
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