by Aidy Award
“Or me.” Kosta tried not to look pissed off by leaning against the bar all nonchalantly, but he couldn’t hide the glower on his face and the purple glow rimming his eyes as his wolf hovered near the surface.
He did love his brothers for trying to protect him. They were both alphas of their own packs now, and he’d expect no less. But Niko wasn’t one of their wolves. He belonged to no pack, even if Max claimed him as a Troika. It was the only reason he hadn’t become a lone wolf when he’d mysteriously been brought back to America.
He didn’t want to hurt his family. Making the decision to go through with this challenge was the first time he felt like he was doing something for them instead of being the cause of all their troubles.
“There wasn’t time to check in with my little brothers when Zara and I were surrounded by half the Crescent Bay Pack’s Enforcers. I had to make a decision then and there and I’m sticking to it.” Niko took a long sip of his beer and stared at Max. They both knew he was accusing Max of not protecting his territory without saying it outright. That was his job as a big brother, to poke at his siblings' bruises.
Max didn’t much like getting his wounds prodded. Never had.
“Dammit, Niko. I could put a stop to this. I’m your alpha.” Max brought his alpha voice out for that last bit, the voice that any pack member had no choice but to obey. He hadn’t given Niko a direct order with it, so he’d used it for show.
Unfortunately for them both, it was the wrong channel. Once their father had died, no alpha voice but that of the Tzar would ever have that effect on Niko ever again.
Niko took a long slug, finishing his drink in a couple of gulps, and set the glass down on the bar carefully so as not to break it. He looked straight ahead and not at his brother. “We both know that you’re not.”
“What, you’re challenging me now? You want to take the Troika pack back from me?” Max growled and his wolf’s eyes burned with the Troika blue fire in his soul. “Let’s see you try.”
Sigh. Niko deserved that. He’d gotten an alpha’s hackles up, what did he expect? He should show his brother some respect, but something deep inside of him wouldn’t back down. Not enough to allow Max to have any real power over him. That was Mik’s fault. Mik had shown Niko exactly how to bring the dominant out in himself, and he’d never been able to be anything else ever since.
Niko would never challenge his brother’s authority, not really. Especially since he’d lost his wolf somewhere deep inside. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to get the ability to shift back or if the Goddess had forsaken him for what he’d done. But he still couldn’t let his brother make decisions for him. “I will never be the alpha I was meant to be, brother. You’re a good leader, and I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t get you a bit riled up every once in a while. I get paid extra for that you know.”
His words and tone were light and playful, to deflect the only men in the world who might be able to see the darkness in his soul for what it truly was. They couldn’t save him. The encounter with Crescent had shown Niko he couldn’t save himself by trying to live as a human either.
He could save them though, from Ramsey Crescent and his one-blood ideals. He would sacrifice himself for that. He didn’t know how he would kill Crescent yet, because it wasn’t with his own wolf in a fair challenge. He would eliminate the bastard and probably go down trying.
He would destroy Crescent for deigning to think he could fill the shoes of Mik, someone as compassionate, smart, and who genuinely wanted to help his people as Tzar of the Wolves. But most especially, Niko would end Ramsey Crescent for making Zara cry.
She was his one regret in this plan. If he’d figured his shit out sooner, he wouldn’t have tried to get close to her again. She was going to be so pissed when she found out he was leaving her again and this time, never coming back. He’d be lucky if she didn’t ouija board his ass back from the afterlife just to rail at him.
She was also the only reason he’d called his brothers to meet him before he headed to Cape Cod where the Crescent compound loomed. He needed to make arrangements for Zara and warn his brothers of the trouble that would come should he fail to kill Ramsey Crescent.
He wouldn’t fail. He would use his own weakness to draw Crescent in. A challenge was meant to be wolf against wolf, to the death. The winner’s prize was void and taking over a pack as alpha was forfeit, if either combatant cheated by using any other weapon besides their own teeth, claws, and cunning.
It didn’t matter to Niko. He would kill Crescent by any means necessary.
He’d figure out exactly what those means were going to be later. Traditional weapons certainly wouldn’t work. Wolves would smell the oil and powder of a gun a million miles away. Same went for the metal of knives. What he needed was a good old fashioned Russian gulag shiv.
“Listen, you aren’t going to talk me out of doing the challenge. That’s not why I called you in. I’m here to ask you to take care of Zara afterwards. Her prophecy said that the winner of the challenge would claim her as his true mate. Should I fail, you can not let Ramsey Crescent anywhere near her.”
“Niko—“ Max’s tone alone was already protesting.
“Seriously, Maksim. I know you’re already defending our family name and territory in the wake of Mik’s death. I’m sorry for that, for the trouble I caused you. This is the first time I’ve gotten a chance to make up for that, the only chance I have to make any sort of reparations for...”
He still couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
Kosta slapped him on the back and brought Niko back from the brink of sinking into the cycle of reliving Mik’s death over and over in his mind.
“You’ve been trying to get yourself killed since you got back. We aren’t going to let you die, dumbass. Not for your misguided sense of justice or any other reason. You want to go fight Crescent, I say go for it. The asshole has death coming his way from one of us eventually anyway. But let’s come up with a real plan, one that all three of us can execute.”
Well, shit. That was hard to argue with. "There's something you don't know."
Max shook his head. "There's a lot of things we don't know, but three heads are better than one. We always made a good team. Let's get the band back together and rock ‘n roll right over Crescent's fucking face."
If he told them, they weren't going to want him to go at all. They'd work even harder to keep him here. They'd probably usurp his plan out of their misguided need to protect him and end up getting themselves killed. "I need you to understand that what I'm about to tell you makes me the one and only person who can go in and take Crescent out."
"Whatever, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the biggest, you're the strongest, you've been trained by the Volkovs. We get it." Kosta rolled his eyes prepared for a speech Niko wasn't going to give him.
"No, I have no doubt at this point, both of you are stronger, faster, more deadly wolves than I am." Niko held up a hand when Max tried to interrupt. He wished he hadn't finished his drink because his mouth was dry. "I'm the only one who can do this, because I can be sacrificed. Neither of you can."
"Shut the fuck up." Max rubbed his forehead like Niko was giving him a headache. "Nobody is going to be sacrificed. Get off your martyr high-horse and get back in the game, man. "
A headache was the least of his brothers' worries if they tried to engage with Crescent. He was an older, wiser, more experienced alpha than anyone else on this side of the Atlantic. Their father would have been the only other wolf that could have bested him in a challenge and that would have only been a fifty-fifty shot. No. Niko had to do this. "You two have to protect your packs, your mates, and our society. You understand better than anyone else the future Mik wanted for wolfkind."
"We know what mom's told us. You're the one who was friends with him. If anyone knew what he wanted, it was you. You should be the next Tzar, Niko." Kosta hadn't entirely lost the hero worship he'd had for Niko as a kid.
He would soon enough. Niko hated that h
e was going to let them down. Because he would never be Tzar. Never. "I can't."
Max put his hand on Niko's shoulder, a gesture meant to be comforting that somehow only made Niko feel more alone. "I know Mik's death was hard on you and I hope someday you'll tell us what happened, but--"
"No. I. Can't." He took a deep breath. "I've lost my wolf."
"What do you mean?" Kosta scoffed. "You can't just misplace your wolf. It's not like you left it in Russia."
"I can't shift." The words were like angry porcupines coming out of his throat. "I can't even feel that part of myself anymore. The Goddess has forsaken me. I'm not a wolf anymore. I'm no more a wolf, than any other human."
His brothers stood there staring at him with their mouths hanging open for so long that he finally reached over and chucked them both on the chin just to keep the bugs from flying in. Max jerked away and scowled, but Kosta's jaw fell right back open.
"What in the hell makes you think you should go into a challenge with an asshole like Crescent then? You're not going." Max slashed his hand through the air.
"Max, don't you see? I'm expendable, and this is a good shot at taking him out. Once he finds out I can't shift, he'll let his guard down. That's when I'll be able to take him out. We can't allow a one-blood to become the new Tzar." Crescent would not only destroy their world with his ambition, he'd affect the human population too.
"What about Zara's premonition?" Kosta asked. "If you kill Crescent, you'll have to finally claim her. We all already know she's your true mate."
Niko swiped at the back of his neck, wiping away the chilled sweat pooling along his hairline.
"What do you mean everybody knows? Maybe Crescent is her fated mate. Just because we dated in high school, doesn't mean shit." Which was a lie straight from the pits of hell. Niko had always known she was it for him, forever. But if he didn't claim her then she would be free to live a normal life.
Max looked like he was about done with Niko. "A. Because you gave her those psychic abilities when you marked her, and B. duh. It's pretty damned obvious."
"Back up. Gave her psychic abilities? What the fuck are you talking about?"
Kosta got right up in his face. "Did you or did you not bite Zara?"
"What the hell? Were you some horny-ass pre-teen watching us having sex? That's plain fucking weird, even for you, Kosta."
"Oh my God, you don't know." Kosta shook his head wide-eyed. "You've been living under a rock since you got back. I thought the Volkovs would have told you, or at least Mik. Sneaky secretive bastards."
Niko didn't have psychic abilities like Zara seemed to, but his spidey-senses were tingling. "Know what? That you were a disgusting peeping-Tom as a kid? Does Heli know?"
Max snorted at Kosta, but took over. "The bite, dickhead. That's why the Volkovs forbid us to bite humans and made it taboo so long ago. Our bite either turns our mates into a wolf-shifter themselves or gives them psychic abilities. Gal's wolf is fucking gorgeous , and Heli's psychic ability is, uh, strange."
Kosta smacked Max in the back of the head. "Zara said none of the Crescents bit her, ergo, you did. Although, I wondered because she doesn't have a mark on her neck or shoulder that I could see."
It was Niko's turn for his jaw to drop, like down past his chin, all the way to the floor. "That's because it's not on her neck."
"Where is it?" they asked in unison.
That was for Niko to know and his brothers never to find out. Because if either of them ever got a glimpse of the creamy soft skin on Zara's inner thigh, he was going to have to hang them from a tall tree by their dicks.
"I need to go see her." Zara thought she'd been going crazy for years, and it was his fault. What exactly would he say to her when he saw her again? Sorry for causing your mental breakdown? Shit. Maybe he shouldn't say anything at all. What good would it do?
"Good, so you're not going up to Crescent Bay?" Max asked.
Niko pushed away from the bar and stood up, facing away from his brothers. "I didn't say that."
Now more than ever, he had to pay for his sins.
Kosta, like the exuberant pup turned angry wolf he was, stepped right in Niko's way and gave him a shove back toward his seat. "You'll resign Zara to a miserable, loveless existence?"
He was doing this for her. "She doesn't need me. I've already ruined her life a couple of times over. She'll find someone else. Plenty of people do just fine without a true mate. Look at mom."
Max joined Kosta, blocking Niko from moving toward the door, toward his one chance to do the right thing for them all. When had his little brothers gotten so big and fierce? "For being so smart, you're awfully fucking dumb. Mom started an entire revolution so we could be with our soulmates. She wanted better for us. I hope someday she can find her true mate too, because it certainly wasn't dad."
All the more reason for Niko to ensure the one-bloods didn't rule. His own life was already doomed. He had to believe Zara would be able to find love again. She deserved far better than him.
"I want what's best for mom and Zara." The boys could easily block his way. They were wolf-shifters, Alphas, and were raised to protect those weaker than them, especially pack. He doubted he could ever make them understand what he had to do.
Niko set a hand on each of their shoulders, knowing he couldn't lie to them, he couldn't trick them, he could only persuade them with the last tool he had in his arsenal. He wasn't sure until last night he still had access to it, but something about being near Zara, needing to protect her had brought his alpha voice back. He put the power of it into his words, knowing they would hate him for it, but that they would have to obey. "Let me go, brothers."
Max and Kosta bowed their heads under the compulsion of the alpha, though their wolves shimmered in the glow of their eyes. If Niko lived through the coming days, there would be hell to pay.
If he died, that hell would come a whole lot sooner.
I See Dead People
Zara slept and slept, like she hadn't slept in a million years. She knew exactly when Niko got out of bed, but she couldn't pull herself out of that exhaustion to wake up. The sun was rising when they'd finally gone to sleep, but now as she peeled one of her eyes open, the light came from another angle. She'd slept the whole day. Actually for all she knew, she could have slept for several days. Except Niko hadn't come back, so she didn't think another night as passed.
She found her way to his bathroom, peed, washed her face, and couldn't quite talk herself into using his toothbrush. Her finger and some toothpaste would have to do. She avoided looking at herself in the mirror. She wasn't ready for that shitshow.
Women's voices drifted down the hallway, and she thought she smelled coffee and something sweet and baked. Heli's chocolate croissants would help anyone make it through a rough morning, or evening as the case may be. She followed her ears and nose to the kitchen and took one deep breath before entering.
She needed just one more second to pull herself together and then she could face the women. They’d seen her at her worst last night, or however long ago it had been, and it was going to take some work to repair her fall from grace in their eyes.
Selena spotted her first, but didn’t say anything, simply waited for her to do her thing. Heli and Gal were there too, as she knew they would be, and one more woman Zara didn’t recognize. Even more reason to put that I’m-Okay-You’re-Okay armor back on.
Show time. “I’d kill for one of those croissants and some coffee if you have it.”
“Done and done.” Selena smiled and got up to grab Zara a mug. “But we also have wine if you’d like.”
“Coffee first, with lots of cream and sugar.” She preferred a little coffee with her sweet creamer. Zara sat down in the empty chair between Gal and Heli.
Gal took her hand and gave it a squeeze, but Heli didn’t look at her at all. She swirled a chocolate covered cookie in her glass of wine. That wasn’t a good sign.
Gal must have sensed the tension between the sisters because
she cleared her throat and motioned toward the other woman sitting at the table with them. “Zara, this is Violet. She’s a part of Heli’s... umm, well, her pack.”
Violet gave a little wave, but didn’t say anything. She glanced at Heli, seeming to be taking her cue from her. Smart lady. Zara had suffered enough of her younger sister’s upsets to know it was best to wait it out. Eventually, Heli would say what was on her mind. Either that or push at Zara’s buttons until they’d both had enough and had a good ole fight.
“Here’s your coffee.” Selena handed her a steaming cup that had not just a coffee aroma, but something herblike too. “I put a little something special in it.”
It smelled divine. “What is it?”
“A little concoction Doc gave me. It’s good for you, I promise. Drink up, it will help you feel a thousand times better than what any regular cup of java can do for you.”
Bottoms up then, because Zara could use all the help she could get.
“Why didn’t you tell me.” Heli’s voice had that quality of both disappointment and hurt that Zara had worked to avoid their entire lives. “Niko said it’s been going on for years.
She wasn’t going to deflect or pretend she didn’t know what her sister was asking. She’d hidden a lot from Heli, but had never outright lied to her. “I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.”
“You don’t always have to protect everyone from everything, you know? It might have been nice for me to have someone to talk to about how weird it is to get visions of the future as well. If you’d told me, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so crazy when it started happening to me too.”
Zara swallowed her coffee all wrong, and she coughed hard to get the hot burn out of her lungs. Gal patted her on the back, but Heli just sat back in her chair and watched, a muscle ticking in her jaw the whole time.
“You have visions?” Zara croaked out as soon as she got her breath back.
Heli leaned in close and whispered, “I see dead people.”
Gulp.
“I’m kidding.” She chuckled and sat back in her chair. “I’ve just always wanted to say that. But, yeah. Ever since Kosta marked and claimed me, I get teensy tiny glimpses into the future. Like I saw that you were gonna try to breathe your coffee.”