by Jamie Magee
Draven walked slowly to me with his hands slightly raised as if to tell me he meant no harm. It was an absurd gesture; I knew he’d never hurt me.
“Baby, why did you scare me like that? I didn’t know what to do or where to go,” he whispered.
I shook my head from side to side. “How could you?” I mumbled as a sick feeling came to the back of my throat. “How could you be with her – hide that from me?!” I managed to yell.
The look on his face was full of bewilderment. He swiftly came to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “What?” he said as he leaned his head against mine. “What are you talking about? There is no one else. You are my heart and soul.”
It took everything I had, but I raised my eyes to meet his – and the worry and fear there broke my heart. I let the wall I always hid behind fall and remembered every agonizing detail of what I saw when I stepped into Bianca’s mind – the way he looked at her, the way she touched him. Then I stepped slowly away from him.
“You betrayed me,” I said in a trembling voice.
With no hesitation, he reached to pull me back to him. “That’s not true.” His lips met mine, but I refused to kiss him back. I couldn’t; all I could see was her holding him. “Look at me...Charlie, look at me...if you want to see what really happened, look at me,” he said as his strong hands cradled my face and raised my eyes to meet his.
“No,” I said as I tried to look away.
“Charlie, if you love me at all, you have to look...you have to see that she’s lying to you – that she’s trying to drive us apart!”
The sound of his hypnotic voice broke my heart. I held my breath and looked into his eyes and asked the simple question: When was the last time you saw Bianca? Where? How many times?
Within that thought, I was back in that realm. I wasn’t far away like before, though; I was right beside them. Draven looked coldly at her and said, “Go to hell.” She smirked and placed her hands on his chest. I could see him fighting with a sensation that her touch must have given him.
“We can go wherever you want,” she said as her hands moved up his chest. He gripped her wrists and pulled them away from him. “You’re pathetic,” he said as he glared down at her.
As she leaned closer and whispered something to him that I couldn’t hear, Draven’s eyes moved beyond her and smiled. It was the same smile I’d seen before, the one that told me he was enjoying being seduced by her. I was instantly furious, but then something caught my gaze: a light. I followed his stare and saw millions of breathtaking butterflies glowing in that dark place, and standing in the center of them was an image of me. I looked back to the image of Draven and saw his smile through new eyes; this smile carried love and devotion and enough passion to fill a universe. My doubt plagued me as I asked again in my thoughts to see every moment that he was ever alone with her. The visions Bianca had shown me played out before me, but this time I saw that it was me he was looking at; the look I took as passion or seduction had nothing to do with her – he was staring at me. He was innocent – and I’d been fooled.
A horrible guilt that was so sickening that it took my breath away pulled me from the memories Draven was showing me.
I tried to pull away from him, but he held me tighter. “Why are you mad at me?” he asked. “I showed you I’m innocent. You’re the only one in my life, now and forever.”
I shook my head from side to side as I fought a sea of emotions and tears.
“I’m not, though.” As I said those words, the strength in his arms faded and I was able to pull away. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t bear the sight of the pain I was sure was there.
I wanted to confess about knowing Silas, about our day together - but I had this fear that if I did, he wouldn’t listen to me. He’d do something foolish and irrational, and for all I knew, that was exactly what that world wanted to happen. I had no way to know who to trust.
“Show me,” he said firmly.
I held my breath and fought the nausea that was struggling to come to the surface, then let my eyes rise to meet his. Every single time in our lives that I’d hidden something from him, everything went wrong. The last time I kept him in the dark, it nearly tore us apart forever – and I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I told myself I had to trust that even if we fought about this, it was better to get over it now, before it destroyed us - before Silas destroyed us. He stared back at me with a growing expression of utter defeat in his flawless image. Slowly, I let my shield fall and showed him every single moment of my day.
Every part of him tensed in anger as he stepped back away from me.
“I don’t know who to trust anymore,” I said in a trembling voice.
As he fell to his knees, his emerald green eyes turned black. Panic came over me as I rushed to his side.
“Draven! Draven!” I screamed, but he didn’t respond. I put my hands on either side of his face and screamed, “Where are you?!” over and over again.
Out of nowhere, a fierce pull of energy jolted me out of the reality I was in. I found myself standing in the middle of destruction. It looked like a city that had been shattered by a heartless war. Thunder was crashing in the sky, and lightning strikes gave an eerie glow to the vacant place I was in. I screamed Draven’s name, and all at once the destruction I was surrounded by vanished - and I was in a field. The rumbling thunder began to echo a demented voice that said, “Take her...take her now.”
My eyes raced across the field, finally finding Draven. I could barely see him in the darkness that was all around him. I ran to him, and as I got closer I realized that the darkness wasn’t surrounding him - it was pouring into him. The expression on his face was pure agony. It was as if he were trying to block himself, but the darkness was too strong and starting to invade his soul. When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, trying with every ounce of my strength to get him to look at me.
“Charlie, get out! It’s not safe!” he yelled, refusing to look at me.
The scene around us changed again, back to the broken city, then to a desert, finally shifting to a dark forest.
“Look at me!” I said as I pulled his face down to mine.
“Go, Charlie, I can’t! I can’t!” he screamed.
“Look at me! I love you, Draven! Please look at me!”
He surrendered to my plea, and his eyes feel into mine. The thunder exploded in outrage, but I refused to let it scare me – to take him.
“I love you – do you hear me?!” I said as I held his stare.
“Love you,” he said breathlessly. At that moment, millions upon millions of glowing white butterflies came from everywhere and surrounded us, bringing a warm hum with them; I could hear the light singing in the darkness that was trying to invade his soul.
“I love you,” he said again as he sighed in relief. As the words left his lips, I watched as the light surrounding us pulled the darkness that had managed to fall into him out. His lips met mine, and I kissed him back with as much passion and love as my soul could provide. His arms tightened around me; he held me so tight, I had to fight to breathe - but I didn’t care. He was safe.
Silence came as I slowly opened my eyes to find us on our knees in my driveway.
“Oh my God - is that where you go? Is that where you anger takes you?” I asked as I frantically stared into his eyes, which were now full of pain and sorrow.
“Yeah,” he said as he let out a breath of relief. “I don’t want you there…I have no idea how you did that, but that evil won’t let you do it again.”
“You’re never going there again. I won’t let you leave my sight. I won’t let you get angry.”
He leaned slightly away from me. “I will not be your curse.”
“You aren’t,” I argued.
“What did Silas mean? What did he mean when he said that he loved you before? That you followed me here?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I know is this life...all I know is you.”
&n
bsp; Agony filled his emerald green eyes. “I can’t give you that…I can’t give you the…calm…and it’s all I want you to have.”
I reached my arms around his shoulders and pulled him to me. “Hold me…that keeps me calm.”
His arms moved around me, and he pulled me against him. In the nape of his neck, I whispered. “I want to be alone with you…I don’t want to be here…I don’t want to be at your house. Take me away – somewhere that we can forget…figure this out.”
He stood with me in his arms and carried me to the open door of his truck. As he climbed in, I slid to the middle. I then laid my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and tried to sort through every agonizing memory that was chasing my thoughts. I wanted to believe that that was a victory, that I had saved him from the darkness – that Silas was just a dream. That both Draven and Britain would be safe from the tragic ending that I’d bring to them - but I was no fool. I knew if anything, I had just thrown a weak slap at the power I was fighting.
Draven put his arm around me and drove in silence. I didn’t bother to ask him where we were going. I didn’t care; I didn’t want to see another soul tonight.
I closed my eyes and didn’t open them again until I felt the Hummer stop. I sat up slowly to see the old high school in front of us. There were no other cars there; just construction equipment. It was easy to see that they had done a lot of work in just a short time. The old sign was down, sod was laid, and a new sidewalk had been poured and was drying.
Draven opened his door and climbed out, then held his hand out for me to take his. I took his hand as I looked around at what most people might call an eerie place, but the only thing eerie about it to me was how silent it was.
When we reached the entrance, he unlocked the deadbolt. Once he stepped in, he locked the door behind us. I took in the energy of the open hall in front of us. I could feel the energy of countless pasts there…in a way, I loved how old buildings felt, the signature of energy that they represented; what they once were was so commanding.
“I would give you a tour, but I only know how to work the power in one room,” Draven said as he took my hand and led me to the row of doorways on the other side of the hall.
When he opened the doors to the left, I saw a large auditorium, one that could hold well over two thousand people. The stage was full of amps, drums, and guitars.
“Dad isn’t sure if he wants to take these seats out. They’re still in good condition – I guess he’s waiting to see what kind of concerts we have first. There’s another one that’s smaller on the other side of the school we could use for plays and such, if we do remove them…he just wants all arts to have the largest stage possible,” Draven said with a hint of pride in what they had turned this abandoned building into.
I smiled slightly as I squeezed his hand. He pulled me forward down the aisle. There were a few stage lights that were left on, just enough to give a warm glow to the silent moment we found ourselves in.
When we reached the stage, he unfolded the white sheets he used to move his equipment in and threw them across the dark blue velvet stage curtains that had been taken down and piled off to the side.
He nodded, telling me to have a seat, but I ignored his request and walked over to the guitar stand.
“I want to play, at least for a moment,” I mumbled.
He smiled slightly, as if that was exactly what he wanted me to do. As I pulled the strap of his guitar around me, he adjusted the power to the amps.
“I want to hear that song you’ve been working on,” I said as he walked slowly to me.
His eyes cascaded across every inch of me as he circled behind me, then pulled me against him. He carefully reached to take control of the guitar. I felt my heart pound as I felt the heat of his body against mine and the hum of the guitar as he played through a few chords.
“I don’t want to play it right now…I don’t want to open that doorway - not after what we just went through.” His fingers began to dance across the strings. I recognized the song that was coming to life; it was the one he had given me a few days ago. It was beautiful, slow, yet commanding; I could feel the raw emotion behind every chord.
As he began to sing softly against the skin of my neck, I could just barely hear the words:
‘I know that time will only make me question everything
My mind is a battlefield
where the winner is my enemy…
So in my disposition I find myself missing the person I wish to be
But as long as there's hope left in this hole that's in my chest
I will continue to bleed’
The haunting sound of his velvet voice encircled me. I felt the battle within his soul…the promise to fight the demon that was calling him away from me.
“I love it,” I whispered.
“It’s your birthday present….still trying to make it as perfect as I can.”
“It’s perfect because you wrote it,” I promised.
I took control over the guitar and began to play one of the songs I was working on by myself. It wasn’t as sweet or moving as what he’d written, though; It was more like a call to battle, a sound that would fill you with energy and make you want to make an impact on whatever was around you. Halfway through the second riff, he stopped my hands.
“You don’t like it?” I asked, slightly embarrassed.
“It’s perfect…it’s what the other song is missing.”
My body tensed against his. “Show me.”
He backed away from me listlessly “I’m not going back there tonight - I’m still sore,” he mumbled as he walked over to the pile of curtains and sheets and collapsed in the center of them.
I stood stunned for a moment, then pulled the strap of the guitar off me and placed it in the stand. I turned the amp off as I walked by, knowing that playing was making the tension between us worse, not better, like it had in the past.
His eyes followed me as I knelt down at the edge of the pile, then crawled closer to him.
“You’re in pain?” I whispered, remembering the shadows pouring into him – the light pulling it out of him.
“Not too bad…just feel weak – tired.”
“How often has that happened? How many times have those shadows poured into you?”
His eyes slowly moved across my face. “A few.”
My hand slowly moved across his chest. “Is there still darkness inside you?” I asked in a shaky voice.
His hand met mine, and I felt the hum his skin always seemed to provide. “According to Silas, it is.”
A sickening guilt absorbed me as I fought back tears. “I can’t conceive that to be real – another life – some kind of battle between light and dark. We’re just kids – fighting to have a normal life…together.”
His eyes held my gaze and reflected the guilt and grief that I felt. “Silas told us more today than anyone has told us in our entire life…it all makes sense now – why I’m so different from all of you. Why you feel an odd desire to protect me. I think he’s right: I’ll destroy you if we don’t say goodbye.”
Every part of me froze. I couldn’t comprehend the last words he said. He couldn’t have said that we had to break up, that we had to live a life without each other. When his words began to echo in my mind, I had to run. As I rose to my knees, his hand reached for mine.
“Let me go – you don’t wanna be with me,” I said as I choked back tears. Before I could pull away, he’d pulled me to him and I was lying in the center of the pile of curtains and sheets, with him above me.
“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded as his hand cradled my face.
“You just said -” Before I could say another word, his lips were on mine. As mine moved against his, I felt a pull of raw power and emotion – one that told me that if this were our last kiss, I wanted it to be my last breath. I know I’m not one of those mushy girls who say how they feel or repeat the word ‘love’ as if it has no meaning - but right now, I wanted to be that girl. I wanted to tel
l him how undeniably in love I was with every part of him...I just couldn’t find the words.
His lips slowed against mine. “Without you, there is no point to my existence,” he whispered. “You are the reason I fight this urge to become a demon.”
“You’re not a demon,” I said as my eyes fell into his. “You’re an imperfect soul who fights demons – just like me.”
He rolled to my side and studied every feature of my face with his alluring emerald green eyes.
“I don’t like being the bad guy…I liked it better when I was saving you from Britain – what they are...to find out that I’m one of them is almost too much to bear.”
“You’re not a bad guy. If you want to give any credit to what Silas told me, then see the positive to it; see that in some distant past, I saved you from this - and I know that I’d do it again.”
His eyes filled with sorrow. “I’m not trying to be self-loathing, but you have to see that you were trying to save the lost souls, not me. I was ending them...you wanted to stop the source, not help me.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t remember it anymore clearly than I can. If any of that is true, I doubt you were just a source. If anything, you and I proved then that everything and everyone can change; all they have to do is make the decision to do so.”
His eyes became even more pained. “I don’t know how to change. I don’t know at what point I’m deciding to be good and at what point I’m taking the light of your power.”
“You’re not taking it - I’m giving it to you. I don’t know how I did what I did tonight, but it stopped the shadows from pouring into you and pulled what was there out of you.”
He furrowed his eyebrows, enhancing his alluring eyes. “How do you know that wasn’t what it wanted? That it wanted you to display your power there? I thought by focusing on you that I was saving myself, but now I’m afraid I was leading you into that evil.”
“How?”
His fingertips began to move across my jawline. The look in his eyes told me he was fighting a battle inside of him that I’d barely begun to understand.