by Beth Ehemann
He wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, reached over to grab his hat, and stood up slowly. I stared a hole through him as he walked to his truck, thankful that he was at least smart enough not to say a word to me or Kacie.
When he opened his driver’s door, Kacie called after him, “Zach! Wait!” She looked from him to me. “He’s drunk, Brody. He can’t drive.”
“He drove himself over here, didn’t he? He can drive his ass home,” I snapped.
“I had no idea he was coming. He just showed up here,” she defended. “Please, let me just drive him home, and then we can talk and I’ll tell you everything.”
“Drive him home?” I pointed toward Zach. “Not a chance in hell.”
“Please. You can follow us and then give me a ride back,” she begged.
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “Fine. There’s no fucking way he’s getting in a car with you, though. You drive his car; he rides with me.”
She opened her mouth to argue and I cut her off. “That’s the only option, Kacie.”
She nodded and turned toward the porch. “Mom, will you—”
Sophia waved her off. “I’ve got them. Go.”
“I’m not riding in a car with him,” Zach argued as Kacie walked up to him and held her hand out for the keys.
“Please.” She sniffed. “If you want to make things better, please make this easy on me.”
Zach looked from her to me and back again. “Fine,” he grunted, dropping the keys in her hand. “I live in the Meadowbrook Apartments on Maple. Do you know where that is?”
She nodded and sat down in his truck, turning to watch as he walked back to my truck. I hopped up into my driver’s seat and rested my wrists on the steering wheel, watching her. She pulled her eyebrows in tight and looked at me with sad eyes. More than anything, I wanted to go over, pull her into my arms, and take away her misery, but she caused mine and I was pissed the fuck off.
“In the back, D.” I watched as Diesel woke up and gingerly crawled into the backseat, still half-asleep.
Zach opened the truck door while I looked out my window, worried that if I met his deadbeat eyes, I’d pull him out of the truck and beat the shit out of him again. My hand throbbed as I wrapped it around the steering wheel, and the thought crossed my mind that it might be broken. I couldn’t get it checked out and I couldn’t complain. Not this season.
He climbed up and sat down. Before I even put the truck in reverse, he tried talking.
“Listen—”
“No. You listen,” I interrupted, finally looking straight at him. “I’m going to explain how this ride is going to go. You’re not going to talk to me and I’m not going to talk to you. Regardless of why you’re back or what the fuck has been going on, we’re not friends and we’ll never be friends. And talking about Kacie is so fucking far off-limits that if I feel you even thinking about her, I’ll put your head through my goddamn windshield.”
He stared straight ahead and didn’t say another word while we followed Kacie the whole way to his apartment. I put my truck in park and he opened the door immediately. Once his feet were on the ground, he turned to me. “Kacie didn’t invite me over tonight. She didn’t even know I was coming. I got in my truck and drove there, so if you want to be mad at someone for that, be mad at me. Also, I didn’t fight you back because, aside from being blindsided, I probably deserve a broken jaw for all the pain I’ve caused her over the years. Even so, I’m not going to apologize because I do want back in Lucy and Piper’s life in some capacity.”
“You don’t deserve to be in their lives,” I seethed.
He tilted his head to the side slightly and nodded. “You’re probably right about that, but when I watched them play at the park, it hit me how much I’d truly missed. I’m not going to let them slip through my fingers again.”
“They didn’t slip through your fingers, asshole. You threw them away. I picked them up, cleaned them off, and have been there for them since the day I met them. Don’t be dumb enough to think this is going to be an easy road for you,” I warned as he backed up and shut the door.
I watched as he walked over and took his keys from Kacie. He stopped and said something to her, but she just shook her head and walked back to my truck. She slid into the passenger seat and dropped her face into her hands, crying quietly. Peeking at her out of the corner of my eye as I pulled out of the parking space, my heart wrenched. It physically hurt me to resist touching her.
My fingers tingled. I wanted to run them through her hair and pull her into my lap. I wanted to tell her it would all be okay and we’d get through this, but I didn’t even know what the hell we were getting through yet. Then, Zach’s words from before he walked away replayed in my head.
When the fuck did he watch them play at a park?
I didn’t speak one word to Kacie on the way home. She just cried. We pulled up the long driveway to the inn and I saw Sophia sitting on the front porch swing with Fred next to her. Kacie jumped out of the truck and came around to my side, waiting for me to follow her.
I rolled my window down. “I’m leaving.”
Her mouth flew open and she took a step back as new tears started falling from her eyes. “You’re not coming in?”
“No.” I looked straight out the front window, my fingers tapping on my dashboard. “I’m too angry. I can’t talk to you right now.”
“Brody,” she sobbed, “please. I need you.”
My eyes shot toward her. “You know what? I needed you tonight. I just came from my parents house, found out they’re divorcing. I’m crushed.”
Her eyes grew wide as her hands clutched her throat.
I continued, “You know where I wanted to go when I was crushed? Here. To you. Only to be completely fucking gutted when I find out that you’ve been lying to me for God knows how long. So, yes, I’m leaving. I need to think—about my parents, about you, about all of this. I’ll be in touch.”
I rolled up my window and started to pull out of the driveway. Against my better judgment, I checked my rearview just in time to see Sophia running off the porch toward Kacie, who had dropped to her knees and was sobbing right there in the grass.
Fucking gutted.
Part of me felt like an ass for leaving her like that, and part of me knew it was for the best. I had so many questions for her about Zach and what the hell had been going on the last couple weeks, but it wouldn’t have done either of us any good if I’d asked those questions now. Most likely I would have said something I’d regret, or punched something else, and I couldn’t afford for my hand to get any more swollen.
A couple miles from her house, I pulled over and took out my phone to text Andy.
HEY BRO, YOU HOME?
A: YEP. FOLDING LAUNDRY, LIVING THE DREAM. WHAT’S UP?
CAN I COME BY?
A: SURE. IT’S LATE. EVERYTHING OKAY?
NOT EVEN CLOSE.
“You broke his jaw?” Andy leaned forward on his couch, propping his elbows on his knees, and rubbed his temples.
I shrugged. “I don’t know for sure, but something cracked. Very well could have been my hand. I’m gonna grab some ice.”
A minute later, I walked back to his living room and he was still sitting in the same position. “I couldn’t help it,” I defended. “First, I saw him holding her hand—that was bad enough. Then, when he introduced himself as Lucy and Piper’s dad, I lost it. I don’t even know how many times I hit him. He went over the railing.”
Andy’s head sprang up. “You punched him over a railing?”
I nodded and groaned, gently putting the baggie of ice on the top of my hand.
“Fuck.” He stood up and started pacing the living room. “You know if he presses charges, you’re screwed. It’s a contract year, Brody. How could you do this?” He walked back and forth with his hands on his hips.
“I told you. I snapped.” I crossed my ankles on his coffee table.
“Yea
h. Tell that to Collins.”
Fuck.
It was days like this when I wished I had a normal nine-to-five desk job. My boss wouldn’t give a shit what I did outside of working hours, and I could just fucking call in sick tomorrow.
“I’ll talk to Collins. Don’t worry.”
He spun around and raised his eyebrows at me. “You’ll do no such fucking thing.”
“I won’t?”
“No. You won’t. You’ll wait and see what happens. There’s a chance this dickwad might not call the police.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t he?”
“Think about it, Brody. We don’t know the story of why he’s back and what’s going on with him. For all you know, he’s got a boner for Kacie and wants her back. Getting her boyfriend arrested certainly isn’t going to make her run back into his arms.”
“First of all, did you just say boner?” I stared up at him in disgust. “What are you, thirteen? Second of all, don’t ever talk about Zach’s dick and Kacie in the same sentence again.”
He stopped pacing and sat on the chair across from me. “You gonna call her?”
“I don’t know. Eventually, yes. I just don’t know when.” I exhaled.
“Is this a deal breaker for you?” he asked carefully.
I stared off into space for a few seconds, thinking about his question. I would take a thousand broken hands if the knot in my stomach whenever he said her name would disappear for five minutes. “I can’t control where that asshole wanders around the planet, so if he showed back up in her life, that’s not her fault. But why didn’t she tell me?” I searched Andy’s face for answers. “Is she in love with him again?”
“Whoa.” He shook his head vigorously. “I seriously doubt that. Don’t go jumping to crazy conclusions.”
“I don’t even know what to think anymore, about anything…”
“What about your parents? What happened there?”
The ache in my chest flared up again. The only silver lining to the Zach bullshit was that for a couple hours, it took my mind off what was going on with my mom and dad.
“I have no idea what went wrong. They basically just said they grew apart and these things happen.”
“I’m really sorry about that. I can’t even imagine how weird it must be to be going through this now.” He interlocked his fingers and tucked them behind his head. “You think they’ll work it out?”
“Who knows? Supposedly they’re using the same lawyer and have everything all sorted out already.”
“Jesus, that’s one hell of an amicable split. Blaire and I can’t even agree on what date we officially separated.” He huffed. “Does Shae know?”
“Nope, they’re telling her this weekend.”
As sad as I was for myself, my heart was completely broken for Shae. She had no idea what was coming her way. Shae was without a doubt the most romantic human being on the planet. She was constantly watching sappy movies, setting her friends up on blind dates, and writing poetry about love. She was so in love with love that she became a wedding planner—a damn good one too. This was going to completely crush her.
At least we’d have that part in common.
“Hey.” My bedroom door cracked open just enough for my mom to stick her head in.
I sat up and yawned. “Morning. Are the girls already up?”
“Yeah. I fed them and their backpacks are ready to go. Want me to put them on the bus?”
“No.” I sighed. “I’ll do it. I called in; I’m not going to work today.”
The corner of her mouth turned down. “No call from Brody, huh?”
I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat, so I just shook my head. Fresh tears started to build in my eyes, though I had no idea how since I’d cried enough to fill the lake out back.
“Okay, honey. We’ll see you in a little bit.” She closed my door and I turned to my right, staring at my cell phone on the nightstand. I was scared to look at it. So many scenarios ran through my head.
Brody could have texted to say we were done.
He could have texted to say he was coming over and we would work through this.
He might not have texted at all.
I took a deep breath grabbed it.
Nothing.
Shit.
Now came the question of what I should do. Do I turn into a teenager and text the crap out of him, begging for forgiveness, or do I have confidence in our relationship and give him space?
Screw that. I didn’t have enough confidence to tell him about Zach in the first place, now was the time to fight.
HEY, I KNOW LAST NIGHT WAS CRAZY AND YOU’RE CONFUSED AND MAD AT ME. I’M MAD AT ME TOO. FIRST OF ALL, I’M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW THAT MUST HAVE FELT TO SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR COMFORT TO INSTEAD SEE ZACH HERE. LAST NIGHT WAS THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. IT WAS WAY WORSE THAN WHEN ZACH LEFT BECAUSE WHEN HE LEFT, I WAS ALREADY DEAD INSIDE. THE DAY I MET YOU, I CAME BACK TO LIFE. I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND WILL FOREVER REGRET THE COLOSSAL MISTAKE I MADE OF NOT TELLING YOU SOONER. PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
I hit send on the longest—and most important—text of my life.
Staring at that phone all morning, praying for a response, wasn’t going to do me any good. I jumped up and took a quick shower before walking Lucy and Piper down to the bus.
The smell of burning leaves permeated the air and the crisp morning chilled me just a little bit. The girls and I held hands as we walked down to the edge of the driveway, leaves crunching under our feet. The bus came quickly and they hopped on, blowing kisses at me out the window. I waved until I couldn’t see the bus anymore, desperate to put on a happy face for them when in reality, all I was thinking about was the cell phone in my back pocket.
I was halfway up the driveway when it vibrated.
It was a text! From… Lauren.
L: HEY, CHICKY. I’M LEAVING TOMORROW. CAN I STOP BY THIS MORNING AND VISIT FOR A LITTLE BIT OR ARE YOU WORKING?
Thank God I called in. I can’t let her go back to Italy like that.
NO, I CALLED IN SICK. PLEASE COME OVER. I OWE YOU THE BIGGEST APOLOGY EVER.
L: YOU OWE ME NOTHING. I’LL BE THERE SOON.
I had two mason jars, filled with ice and raspberry tea, ready to go just a bit later when I heard a loud knock. As excited as I was to see Lauren, part of me really hoped it would be Brody on the other side of the door instead. No such luck.
I barely had the door open and Lauren was pushing through it, throwing her arms around me. “I’m so sorry for the way dinner went last night. That’s not at all what I had in mind.”
Exhaling, I hugged her back and rested my head on her shoulder. “Me too. I shouldn’t have run out like that, but I couldn’t take the guilt from Alexa anymore.”
“I’m sorry too,” Alexa said quietly, stepping up behind Lauren with her hands shoved in her hoodie as she stared at the ground.
Seeing Alexa look so sad, combined with my already fragile mindset… I couldn’t stay mad at her. Not letting go of Lauren, I sighed and held my arm up for Alexa to join in on the hug.
“I’m so sorry for being such a bitch, Kacie,” Alexa said into Lauren’s hair. “You’re right. I have no idea how hard this has been for you. I’m such an asshole.”
I didn’t respond, but I squeezed her hand.
“Come in. Let’s sit.” I finally pulled away, grabbing Lauren’s hand too, and led them to the back of the house. They followed me into the kitchen as I grabbed another mason jar from the cabinet. I poured another glass of tea and sat down across from them.
“So, when are you due?” I asked Lauren.
Her full red lips spread into a wide smile. “March. We got pregnant the minute we got to Italy.”
“Aw, a spring baby. I’m so excited for you. How has Tommy been?”
Lauren laughed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I was never very blessed in the boob department, but they were the first things to gain weight. Now as much as he wants
to play with them, they hurt too much for him to touch.”
“I remember those days.” I groaned. “They hurt so bad, I couldn’t even sleep on my stomach. How are you feeling otherwise?” I asked.
“Okay. For awhile I was nauseated all the time. I threw up every time Tommy cooked bacon, which is a problem because he tries to incorporate it into every meal.”
I leaned forward, not wanting any wandering guests to hear me. “Have you been constipated at all?”
Alexa’s face twisted in disgust as her eyes darted back and forth between Lauren and me. “This is gross. You two are making my decision of never having kids easier and easier to swallow.”
“Oh, stop it.” I tilted my head at her skeptically. “You’ll have kids.”
“No way.” She took a sip of tea. “Derek and I already decided it’s not our thing. We’re totally fine just being the cool aunt and uncle our whole lives. We’re too selfish for kids.”
“I guarantee you’ll change your mind.” I nodded at her.
“Not a chance.” She laughed. “That’s why I’m friends with you two baby factories. I get any weird baby urges out with your kids and then go home to my clean, non-toy-filled house and drink copious amounts of wine while having sex with my husband in the middle of the living room floor.”
“Sounds like the night I got pregnant,” Lauren sighed, causing Alexa and me to roar with laughter.
“So what about you, Kacie? Would you have more kids with Brody?” Alexa asked.
The sound of his name was a punch to the gut. While the memory of last night’s events hadn’t left my mind, I was able to push them aside long enough to chat with my friends for a while. But when Alexa innocently mentioned his name, it all came flooding back. My eyes dropped down to my hands. I wasn’t sure how to answer her question. I didn’t even know if I would ever see him again, let alone be lucky enough to have him father my kids.
“Kacie?” Lauren looked nervously at me and then Alexa.