“It’s a book,” he reassured her. “We can talk about a book. Wanting to explore your sensuality shouldn’t be embarrassing, and certainly not with me.”
“You’re my boss,” she said quietly. Then stronger, “Of course it should be embarrassing. Maybe we’re making a mistake.”
He should take that opportunity to turn the car around and escape the tangled web they were weaving. He should solidify the walls he’d lived behind for so long. He knew this, and he fought against it, because if he did, he’d spend the rest of his life wondering what this weekend could have been like.
“We can turn around,” he offered, “but it won’t erase what we did last night. And come Monday that’s still going to be there. We won’t talk about it, and we’ll try to act like it didn’t happen. But last night will always be there. Our secret. What happens between now and Monday isn’t going to change the outcome Monday will bring.”
She looked out the window again, stealing her hand from his.
“If you’re worried about respect, or that I’ll see you differently, you’re right.”
She shot him a pained expression.
“I respect you more for wanting to explore all sides of yourself and for being brave enough to do it. I’ve gotten to know more about you in the last twenty-four hours than I have in the last three years.”
She continued staring at him as he drove. He felt her silently assessing him, and he wondered what she saw. He wondered what he’d see if he looked in a mirror, and made a point of not doing it.
“You’re really hard to read right now.”
“Am I?” He glanced at her and smiled.
“I can’t tell if you mean it, like you really do respect me more, or if you’re placating me so I don’t feel cheap for sleeping with you.”
That wiped his smile away, and he shook his head. “Then don’t sleep with me. This seduction weekend is for you. You control what we do, how far we go. I’m just along to critique and make sure you know enough to keep yourself from getting into trouble.” And to satiate myself enough to be able to walk away without losing my mind.
She laughed. “I’m supposed to believe you’re that altruistic? Please, Mick. Don’t act like I’m a fool. You’re in it for the sex.”
“Am I?” He was, partially, but not just for sex. For sex with Amanda. Time with Amanda. He didn’t fully understand all the reasons he’d suggested this weekend, but he knew not being with her wasn’t an option. He needed to get her out of his system once and for all.
He glanced at her again. There was no fooling her. She was as brilliant as she was sweet, and the combination, he decided, was the biggest aphrodisiac there was. No, he took that back. Brilliance and sweetness all wrapped up in Amanda Jenner was the biggest aphrodisiac.
“If that were true,” he said with another smile, “we wouldn’t have left your bedroom.”
“I guess you have a point.” She rested her head back and closed her eyes. “Where are we going anyway? Aren’t we staying at your place?”
“We are,” he assured her. “Just not my place in the city.”
She sat up straight. “You have another house?”
“You agreed to spend the weekend with a man without doing your research? What kind of paralegal are you?” That earned him an eye roll and a smile—and boy did he like her smile. “You’ll like it. I promise. Now, let’s talk about that book.”
Chapter Seven
AMANDA CAVED AND told Mick about The Handbook, what she’d learned and how it had helped her gain the confidence to come out of her shell a little more each week. They’d talked for more than an hour. He listened intently, nodding and tossing out a comment here and there. She was glad he hadn’t reamed her about how stupid she was for trying to learn from a book, but she wondered what he really thought about it—and about her. Some of the looks he was giving her made her stomach flip and dip, and then his expression would turn serious again, reminding her of the confines of their agreement.
He turned off the highway. “Thank you for sharing all of that with me,” he said with a thoughtful smile. A few minutes later they turned onto a narrow road bordered by lush forests bursting with rich reds, vibrant yellows, greens, browns, and every color in between. They rolled down the windows, and she inhaled the scents of autumn as they followed the winding road up a mountain.
“Where are we?”
“The Silver Mountains. I thought you’d be more comfortable somewhere where you wouldn’t worry about running into people you knew. That way there’s no need for a wig.”
Or is it because you don’t want anyone you know to see us together? The thought lingered like an itch she couldn’t scratch, despite the fact that if he was telling her the truth, it was quite a thoughtful gesture. And a reminder that you probably have a lot of experience with meaningless sexual encounters to have thought of such a thing.
“That was smart,” she said. “Then neither of us has to worry. It would be embarrassing to see someone we work with.”
He was quiet for a minute, the muscle in his jaw jumping like a pulse.
“Right,” he said tightly. “We’re heading to Sweetwater, a small town Heath’s brother Logan turned me on to a few years back. He’s got a cabin here.”
She wondered if he’d told Logan about their weekend. Cringing inwardly, she wondered if Logan told Heath, who would tell Ally—who would kill her for not only not telling her, but also for having sex with her boss. She chewed on that uncomfortable thought, her stomach twisting and turning tighter by the second, until she remembered that Mick had been just as adamant about never speaking of their time together as she was.
“Do you?” she asked. “Have a cabin, I mean?”
“No, no cabin.”
He had no cabin? Were they staying at Logan’s after all? She debated texting Ally and telling her the truth, but what if Mick hadn’t told Logan? Her heart was beating so hard she felt like she might explode.
“Did you tell Logan about last night? About this weekend?”
His face contorted like he’d eaten something that tasted bad. “I thought you trusted me.”
“I do, but we’re going somewhere you don’t have a cabin and he does, so I thought…”
He shook his head and said coldly, “Number one, I try not to lie—”
“I know, but I didn’t tell Ally, and I don’t want her to find out from Heath, who might find out from Logan. I hate deceiving her.”
His expression softened. “Amanda, if you’ll feel better telling your sister, then by all means please do. I trust your judgment, but you should know that I haven’t said anything to Logan or anyone else. When we stopped for gas and you were in the restroom, Brett called. I told him I was heading to Sweetwater for the weekend, but he knows I don’t—” He winced. “He’d have no reason to think I was with you.”
“Okay, thanks.” Brett was Mick’s youngest brother. He and their brother Carson, an IT expert, owned an international security company. Amanda liked all three of Mick’s younger brothers, having met them at various times in the office and at NightCaps, a bar Mick’s brother Dylan owned.
“Really, baby, if you want to tell your sister, please do. I don’t want you to worry.”
“It’s okay. I just didn’t want her to find out from someone else.”
He stared out at the road. “You grew up outside of the city, didn’t you? Was it like this?”
She was surprised he remembered. They hadn’t talked about where she was from since she’d first come to the firm. “It was rural, but not in the mountains like this. This is prettier than a postcard. I love the fall. It makes me think of evening walks with leaves swirling around my feet, all wrapped up in a thick cozy sweater.”
“If you’re trying to seduce a man, you might want to forget the sweater and mention something about him keeping you warm.”
His suggestion didn’t embarrass her. Talking about the book, and her preparatory weeks leading up to the bar crawl, had brought them to a different place. Bound th
em together with another secret. Although, that deeper connection stirred other feelings. Her heart still held on to the hope that this weekend might lead to something more, and she had a feeling that internal battle was going to be her constant companion until Monday. There wasn’t much she could do but try to accept it.
If she was going to do this, she was definitely going to do it right. “See? That’s exactly why I need you. To remind me of those little things that make a world of difference.” She dug her Handbook out of her purse and scribbled that down.
“You’re taking notes?”
“Of course. A very wise man once told me to always take notes, even if I think I might not need them, because I—”
“Might decipher them differently later,” they said in unison.
She laughed and stuffed the book back in her bag. She made a mental note to remember she was supposed to be in full-on seduction mode from here on out and to be on the lookout for chances to test her knowledge.
“I think living in the city takes away from the beauty of the seasons, don’t you? I’d forgotten how inspiring autumn feels.” She turned and caught him watching her. “What? Did I miss a chance to be seductive?”
“No.” He laughed. “You looked happy just then. Happy looks good on you.”
“I’m pretty happy all the time, aren’t I?” Wasn’t she? She felt like she was.
“In the three years we’ve known each other, I’ve only seen you angry a handful of times and sad three times. Otherwise, yeah. I think you’re usually in a good mood.”
“Thank you, but when have you seen me sad? I try to keep my emotions out of the office.” Other than lust, which seems to follow me like a shadow when I’m around you.
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
“Mick? You can’t tell me you’ve seen me sad three times and then pretend you don’t know when those times were. Three is a very specific number.”
“Maybe I’m wrong.”
“You’re never wrong.”
He grinned at that.
“Spill it.” She crossed her arms and glared at him, wondering if he’d made it up after all.
“About a month after you started, you came to work teary-eyed because you’d seen a bird fly into a window.”
She remembered that morning. The poor thing had flown into a window and plopped to the ground. No one had stopped to see if it was okay but her. Mick had stopped by her office to give her a file and parked himself beside her, resting his butt against her desk, and refused to leave until she told him why she was upset. Probably a broken neck, he’d said, and then he’d hugged her. She’d never forgotten how tender he was, and she’d never seen him hug another employee in all the time they’d worked together.
“And then when that guy cheated on Ally,” he said with a pitch of annoyance. “You were so mad, you wanted to kill him. But the next day, all that anger had turned to sadness because your sister was so upset.”
She was surprised, and touched, that he remembered these instances so clearly. “You asked if I wanted you to take out a hit on the guy.”
“I wanted to kill the asshole.” He clenched his jaw. “I hated seeing you unhappy.”
She soaked his confession in, unsure of what to make of it.
“The third time,” he said with a heavy tone, “was Thursday night, when I realized it was you and stopped before we…had a chance to finish.”
She turned away, remembering her confusion at his abrupt halt. “I was hurt, not sad.”
“Aren’t they the same thing?” He reached over, gently taking her chin in his hand, and turned her toward him. His eyes moved between her and the road. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I couldn’t do that with you there.”
Her heart skipped at the sincerity in his voice and the tenderness of his gaze.
“You deserve far more than a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar, and don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise. We’ll put that into your lesson plan—taking control of where and when.”
Her skipping heart stopped cold. She really needed to stop reading into the things he said, or she was never going to make it through the weekend.
“But if I were anyone else, you probably would have gone through with it,” she said sharply. “So are you saying you’re not worth more than that?”
He was silent for so long she didn’t think he was going to respond. “That’s a good question.”
Amanda reminded herself again not to read too much into the things he said—or the things he didn’t.
**
MICK COULDN’T STOP thinking about Amanda’s question. Was he worth more than a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar? Hell yes, in all the ways that counted. He was at the top of his field, and he hadn’t gotten there by lying, cheating, or scamming. His father had unknowingly taught him well in that regard. Gerard Bad was a bastard of an attorney, as manipulative and devious as they came, and he was also one of the leading criminal law attorneys in the city. Criminal law was very different from entertainment law, and to some extent his father had to play the game, but Mick didn’t care. After his sister had passed away, his father had turned darker, meaner, and hateful toward his family and the rest of the world. Mick looked like his father, and in his younger years, everyone who knew them commented about how he was a chip off the old block. Mick had vowed never to be that chip. His decision to go into law was based on his need to deal with facts and truths. Right and wrong was definable, unlike so many other things. Driven by the need to prove to his father there was a better way to handle things, he worked hard to make his mark without using the tactics his father relied on, and it served him well.
But that didn’t mean Mick was worth more than a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar, because his father had also taught him that love wasn’t real. And losing Lorelei had taught Mick that nothing lasted forever. A lethal combination for any relationship, one that dealing in cold, hard facts had reinforced many times over. He’d long ago sworn off having a family of his own. The thought of losing a child—and in turn, the people he loved, as his father had—was overwhelming. He might have dodged the DNA bullet in the asshole-attorney department, but no man dodged two bullets in one lifetime.
“Mick!” Amanda gasped as Sugar Lake came into view, pulling Mick from his thoughts. “This is gorgeous.”
She oohed and aahed over the quaint little town. Mick focused on her excitement, pushing his own ugly thoughts aside. It was easier to let things go in Sweetwater, where mornings were defined by the sun rising over the mountains and what time Willow Dalton opened her bakery. Afternoons were marked by children’s voices as they ran home from school, and evenings lasted as long as neighbors were willing to chat on the porch, or at the local pub. Logan had given Mick the gift of a lifetime when he’d introduced him to the small town. This was where he came when he felt the tug for a future he’d never have.
“Welcome to Sweetwater,” he said. He might not be able to give Amanda the romantic love she wanted and deserved, but he could give her this weekend, which was more than he’d ever given any other woman.
“Look!” She pointed to a banner hanging above the cobblestone street just down the road that read, Sweetwater Fall Festival.
“I forgot this was the weekend of the festival.” He parked by the lake, across the street from his house. He had a garage out back, but he loved seeing Amanda so excited and didn’t want to cheat her out of enjoying the views. A grassy lawn led to the sandy shore of the lake, which was larger than Lake George and twice as beautiful. Set against the backdrop of the Silver Mountains, with the bustling fairgrounds in the distance to their left, the glassy lake stretched to the horizon. Behind them, rows of old-fashioned shops with big picture windows and large awnings lined the cobblestone streets.
Amanda threw open her door and stepped out before Mick had a chance to walk around and open it for her.
She inhaled deeply. “This is gorgeous! And not that far from the city.”
; She set her hands on her hips and glared at him, a look he’d seen a million times in the office when he’d asked her to complete a near-impossible task. Only now she wore a short, tight skirt that accentuated her slim waist and full hips, and her breasts were seriously straining the buttons on her blouse, making it hard for him to think of anything other than the sweet slice of heaven standing before him.
“Mick Bad,” she said with a wide smile and a serious tone. “What other secrets are you keeping from me?”
If you only knew.
“What kind of way is that to talk to a man you’re trying to seduce?” he teased. “I thought you studied The Handbook.”
Her eyes instantly went from glaring to apologetic, making him wish he hadn’t said it.
“You’re right. I forgot. It’s hard to be that way all the time. Do I really have to? I mean, is that the best way for me to learn?” She leaned into the car to grab her purse, giving him an enticing view of her perfect ass.
“I really do suck at this.” She plunked her purse on the seat and began rifling through it.
He couldn’t resist taking hold of her hips. He loved her hips. She wasn’t rail thin like most of the women he came into contact with. She was curvy and real, and he hated that she wanted to learn to play the games most women relied on. She didn’t need those things. But she wasn’t here for him. She was here to use him. To practice. He reluctantly swallowed that jagged pill.
She straightened, holding The Handbook—the one he wanted to burn—against her chest and turned in his arms.
“I’m ready,” she said breathlessly.
That was all it took for him to get lost in her sweet smile and trusting eyes. She must have mistaken his silence for expectation of a performance, because her entire face turned intense and focused, like when she researched a case. Her tongue swept across her lower lip, leaving it slick and enticing, and leaving him itching for a taste. She pressed her hand to his chest and opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came.
Her brow wrinkled, and she whispered, “I’m not sure what to say,” with a sexy smile.
Bad Boys After Dark: Mick Page 8