Fia tried to summon some gratitude. “Oh, that’s nice, but it probably won’t work out.” She thought about Dylan’s lips, how his muscles felt under her hands, how he made her cry out his name, over and over again. No, it was going to be a while before she was interested in dating some random vanilla Ken doll.
“One date. And I’ll go on a date with your guy.”
“Fine.” Fia agreed to make it easier, because she really felt good about Derek.
“So I have my laptop, and I was actually already going to ask you to sign up with me, because my gut is telling me that my guy is perfect for you.” Connie pulled out her computer and flipped it open. “See, here’s the intake form. All you need to do is fill out the basic info, and voila! You’re in my system. And then I can work my magic.” She wiggled her fingers.
Fia typed rapidly. “Okay. I’m in.”
“And what do you need from me?” Connie leaned in, eyes sparkling, and Fia felt sure now that Connie really was interested in meeting someone special.
“Well, a lot of things.” Fia thought about her surveys and paperwork. “But for now, just enroll online and we can do the rest later. I mean, if you’re up for it, we can even skip all the personality testing for now, for the first date with Derek. I never do that, but for you I’ll make an exception.”
“Great. So when we come back from Hawaii, we’ll both date swap.”
“Hawaii. Yes.” Fia took a deep breath. “Do you have a woman picked out for Dylan’s choice, his last choice?”
“I do.” Connie nodded, eyeing Fia carefully. “That I do. I’ve actually had my eye on her for a while. I wanted to see how things would go with my first choices, and I’m not surprised they didn’t work out. There was something missing, that special spark. But this last woman, you know, I’d bet a lot of money that they’re going to have something.”
“Well, my date is pretty special too,” Fia offered, trying to sound more confident than she felt. Because Connie didn’t seem to be bragging; this was not idle bravado or one-upping bitchery. Connie simply seemed like a person stating a fact, like The Earth Is Round. She genuinely seemed to believe that her last choice was going to be the perfect woman for Dylan.
“But we both have to remember he’s not in this for love, or even a relationship,” she cautioned Connie.
Connie laughed. “So many people say that. Then they find that one magical person and everything”—she snapped her fingers—“changes. Just like that.”
“Just like that. I’ve seen that happen, too, with friends. Not so much with clients. All of my clients already want a relationship. They don’t sign up unless they do.”
“That’s what makes Dylan such a special challenge,” Connie agreed. “Finding love for the person who refuses it! What a victory that would be.”
“It would.” Fia paused. “So you invited me here to sign me up, and also to…” She raised her eyebrows.
Connie laughed. “I want to make a deal with you. No matter what happens in Hawaii, I want the two of us to stay amicable and respectful. I’m not out to hurt your service, and I don’t like Chelsea’s attitude. But if we both stay positive, I believe we’ll both leave this show stronger and more powerful for it. Agree?”
“Yes, I agree.” Fia reached out to take Connie’s extended hand. “Deal.”
“Because when it comes down to it, we both want to win this competition fairly.” Connie nodded.
“Of course!” Fia was quick to agree.
“And find the perfect woman for Dylan.”
This was less exciting, but Fia tilted her head. “Yes, absolutely.”
“And along the way, maybe find love for ourselves, too.” Connie laughed, but her eyes seemed serious and Fia realized she didn’t know that much about her so-called rival. Was Connie divorced? Widowed? Well, she’d find these things out later, when they did their date swapping after the final Hawaii date for the TV show.
And for now, she had her work cut out for her to make Jessica as appealing on paper as possible to win out over Connie’s dream girl.
“And today we’re live from Maui! Everyone, welcome to the final version of Dating Dylan on Morning Brew! I’m Chelsea Marr, and as you all know, we’ve been following Dylan on his dates with two rival dating companies in our home-town of L.A.”
The ocean sparkled behind her, seven shades of azure and cerulean, a seamless patchwork of tropical bliss. Designer sunglasses perched atop her hair; teased and sprayed into shape, it barely blew even in the brisk trade winds.
“So there are a lot of surprises coming for a lot of people!” Chelsea waved her hand. “With me are our two matchmakers, Fia and Connie. You’ve watched them these past few weeks and cheered for their dates with Dylan. But neither of them know, even right now, which of their services has been chosen for the final date. Dylan has had the chance to review two dossiers and descriptions of his dates. But he hasn’t had a chance to see a picture or talk to the women—he’s doing this blind, so to speak. He doesn’t know which woman comes from which service, either.”
“And, Chelsea, you haven’t met the women, either, is that right?” the other commentator asked.
“That’s right! I’ll be as surprised as you all and as the matchmakers to find out who Dylan has chosen.”
“And both of the women, are they here on Maui?”
“That they are, Carter. They sure are! We’ve asked each matchmaker to meet with her date and each one is secluded in her own private trailer. We’ve provided travel vouchers to each matchmaking company, and hotel vouchers, so they can have luxurious private accommodations at the Royal Maui Tropics resort, a lovely place, as you can see from the images on the screen. Right? Am I right, people?
“So right now, each potential date is inside her own trailer,” she pointed to two trailers. “We’ll flash the dossier summaries on the screen, then Dylan will make his choice right in front of us! This is so exciting.”
“And what will happen then?”
“Well, the runner-up, the woman he didn’t pick, will come out of her trailer to say hello and goodbye. Don’t worry; she won’t get a date with Dylan, but she’ll still enjoy an all-expense paid vacation at Royal Maui Tropics resort. We’ll take good care of her.”
“And the winner?”
“Well, the winner will meet with Dylan for a private dinner at a secluded restaurant on the beach! The first time our audience—and Dylan—will meet his date, is when she walks into that restaurant.”
“Big moment!”
“Yes, it is. So here he is. Here’s…my co-host. Dylan!”
On cue, a limo pulled up and Dylan stepped out.
Fia hadn’t spoken to him in a week, but seeing him made her heart beat faster, as always. He was dressed in casual slacks and a nice short-sleeved shirt, and his muscles stood out. She forced herself to stand still and tall, and not to stare, and pasted her polite “Yay, this is great, everything’s cool” smile onto her face.
“Dylan, come on over!” Chelsea gestured. Dylan stood next to Chelsea, a little apart from Fia and Connie. He glanced over and made eye contact with Fia, and didn’t look away. He didn’t smile, but he didn’t seem angry, either; she couldn’t understand his gaze. Did he still think she’d snitched to Chelsea? Did he even care anymore? Was he sorry and wishing he could make things up to her? Because the crazy thing was, any time she got near him, she just felt so right—like it would all be okay, no matter what crap they said to each other, no matter what nonsense went down on the show. Just seeing him, hearing him, smelling him, even—all of that made her feel the irresistible desire to just walk into his arms and stay there forever.
Of course, that was all on her side. There was no indication, not really, that he had that same urge. She probably shouldn’t care, but she did. She’d googled his gallery and seen that all of the pieces were marked as sold. The website seemed larger, too, and had more personal information about him now, including his picture and references to his job on the TV show, and a listing saying that mo
re artworks were coming soon.
But she hadn’t called him, and he certainly hadn’t contacted her.
Today felt strange, especially knowing this was the last time she’d see him in any capacity. That idea made something twist in her chest, something thin and sharp, an ugly spear that made her want to vomit and cry and think about other things, anything else. Above all, it was a feeling of loss, the future anticipation of a boring, lonely gray patch of life, devoid of excitement.
“So, Dylan! This is so super exciting. You’re going to make a huge choice today! First let’s see the summaries. So Dylan received a two-page dossier on each woman, but here are the highlights for you.
“So from Fia and Perfect Profiles, we’re calling her Date #1: She’s a successful artist who’s a big name in the modern art scene right here in L.A. She’s a member of an orchestra and has a very musical background. She’s gorgeous, of course, but we don’t get to see her picture. She’s won awards for her PhD work and received a Fulbright scholarship.”
Fia smiled, proud. Jessica was a fantastic woman, and she couldn’t have picked someone better for Dylan.
“And from Connie and Matches by the Millions: Date #2 is a wildly successful small business owner who’s an economics expert. She’s a fan of healthy eating and works hard at everything she does. Okay, short break, everyone, then we’ll be back with Dylan’s decision!”
They had a few minutes, and Fia hurried a few feet to Grace to sip from a water bottle, ignoring the hand gestures and frowns from the crew.
Grace whispered in an undertone, “Connie’s choice? Booooring.”
“Right?” Fia rolled her eyes. “She sounds horrible.” She glanced over at Dylan who was looking at her.
Connie glanced over and smiled indulgently.
Grace bristled. “Is she gloating? Her girl sounds like a total basic bitch.”
“Ours is way better,” whispered Fia. “I gotta get back over there or that assistant will have a heart attack. Jesus.” She hurried back to her spot, although there was still well over two minutes left.
Chelsea smiled. “Aaand we’re back! Everyone, it’s time for Dylan to make his choice. Dylan, please let us know if you chose #1, the artist slash musician with the awards, or #2, the small business owner who works hard!”
Dylan cleared his throat and looked at each of Connie and Fia in turn. “As usual, both of you found me amazing, fascinating women who are way out of my league,” he said, with a wink. “But the choice was easy and I made it right away. I’m choosing Connie’s service. Date #2, the small business owner.”
Fia gasped, then recovered, feeling a little sick.
Beside her, Connie smiled broadly.
“Connie, congratulations! You’ve won the final challenge! No surprise, as you’ve dominated in date choosing the entire way. You’ve done it again. But, Fia, you’ve done well, too, with all of your great choices.” Today, Chelsea sounded sweet and genuine. “And viewers back in L.A., we’ve highlighted both services on our website so you can come choose the one that’s perfect for you.”
She cleared her throat and pointed to the two trailers. “But now, let’s meet the woman he didn’t choose, Jessica!”
An aide opened the trailer door and Jessica walked out. Her pretty curls were perfect around her face, and her body was fantastic, a supermodel. As she walked toward them, Fia felt a stab of defensive pride. “Fuck you,” she whispered mentally to Dylan. “See that and weep, asshole. You missed out on that. Good luck with your stupid boring date.”
Jessica was graceful; she gave her hands to Dylan for a quick greeting.
“You seem like an amazing person,” Dylan told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “And I mean no disrespect.”
“None taken. I’m enjoying Hawaii.” She smiled and waved to the cameras before walking away.
Everyone’s heads on set turned to the other trailer, the one that Connie’s date was inside. Everyone except Dylan. He was staring right at Fia.
“Fia, four times a loser, haha!” Chelsea giggled. “But still a winner, because remember, everyone, Fia has made over twenty successful marriages and…” As Chelsea went on to rattle off more statistics, Fia’s head spun. What was this sorcery? Why was Chelsea suddenly being so supportive?
At the next break, Connie pulled her aside. “See, she’s pulling for both of us in the end. I knew she would. It’s all a game with her, and she treats us like players. But you showed your strength throughout, and she respects that.”
Fia forced a smile onto her face. “Congratulations, Connie. Well done. You won four out of four times. You really do have a magic touch.” It hurt to admit failure, but Connie had been nothing but gracious the whole time.
“Part of it was luck. But like I said, this time, this final one? I think I really got it right.” Connie eyed her. “How are you feeling?”
“Honestly? A little like I just survived a nuclear blast, and I’m maybe missing a few critical body parts.” Fia took a deep breath. “But I’ll be fine.”
Chelsea motioned them both back over. “And now we’re sending Dylan on his way to get ready for his big date at a special beachside restaurant, where we’ll finally reveal his choice and follow along on this absolute dream date in Hawaii! Connie and Fia, we’ll do a follow up with everyone next week back in L.A. and thanks for your great work!”
Dylan was whisked back into the limo, and after he pulled away, the set started to disassemble.
Grace came up and patted Fia’s shoulder. “So what now?”
Fia licked her lip. “I guess, whatever we want. I feel like I need to get drunk.”
“Smart women don’t drown their sorrows in alcohol.”
“Oh, trust, me, alcohol is only going to make my sorrow cough a little. It would take a dump truck in a nitroglycerine factory to drown me.”
“This right here, Clark, is an RRR VEEE,” proclaimed Grace and Fia couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, I gave it my best shot, and you gave a great Chevy Chase movie quote, so I guess we’re done.”
“Moving on, right? Hey, what’s going on with Connie and Chelsea?”
The two women were far enough away that words didn’t carry, but their gestures were getting stronger. Chelsea seemed upset, irritated; Connie appeared calm but firm about something.
“God knows. Chelsea is the queen of drama, so it could be anything. I don’t know. They’re in the same sorority.”
“What does that have to do with them fighting?”
“Maybe if they weren’t, they’d actually be pulling knives right now and street brawling,” Fia suggested. “Now that would make interesting TV.” She kept watching. “I wonder what they’re saying. Can you read lips?”
“Nobody can read lips.”
“Blind people can. I mean, deaf people.” Fia thought about Dylan’s comment to her, the first time they were on the show together. I can read lips. God, how she wanted his lips again.
“Did you forget to use your oxygen mask on the plane?” Grace laughed.
“I’m stressed out! Okay? If I forget basic English, forgive me, but I think I deserve a pass.”
Grace hugged her. “Oh, you do, Fia. I’m just teasing.”
Eventually Connie and Chelsea seemed to have resolved whatever had happened, because they hugged each other, then Chelsea got immediately onto her cellphone, and Fia could swear that the woman looked absolutely gleeful as she hurried up to her own limo.
Connie stepped up. “Fia, actually, the two of us are needed at another on-site interview.”
Fia’s stomach turned. “Right now?”
Connie checked her watch. “Yes.” A camera man behind her nodded his assent. “We need to get over to the location so they can start soon. Chelsea wants to get us talking, not just to the camera, but to each other, to show our camaraderie and get more info on our services. Our chance for a commercial.”
“But aren’t we doing that back in L.A.?”
“She wants it now.”
“Fine. Sure. Ah, Pete, are you taping us now?”
Grace giggled and flipped her hair while Pete did a thumb’s up sign.
“Well, okay, let’s get going, then.” Fia tried to look like this was fun and not a hideous burden. “Gracie, I’ll see you back at the hotel?”
As she and Connie walked to a waiting limo, Fia asked, “So your date, is she excited to meet Dylan?”
“She’s a little apprehensive,” Connie said, looking at Fia. “I think she’s not a hundred percent sure what to expect.”
“Aha. Well, if she’s seen the previous segments, I can understand her feelings.”
“She has seen them. Some of them troubled her.”
“But she’s the one you think is perfect for him?” Her disbelief must have sounded in her voice, because Connie put her hand on Fia’s arm and smiled. “Trust me, when you see the chemistry, you’ll understand what I mean.”
Fia bit her lip. “I can’t wait.”
They slid into the limo, Pete across from them.
“So, can you tell me more about the woman you picked? What’s so good about her?” Fia felt like her voice sounded a little hostile, so she added a smile.
“She’s really smart, and funny, and clever, and insightful. Tough, too! Such a hard worker, and a great sense of humor. She’s also quite pretty, just his type, from what I can tell.”
“She sounds so interesting.” Fia tried not to wrinkle her nose. Nobody was that perfect.
Connie laughed. “She certainly is. She’s a few years younger than he is, but I hardly think that matters. And she’s so, just, an all-around really cool woman.”
Mine was, too. But Fia just smiled. “Where did you find her?”
“Well, like so many of my matches, she was literally under my nose for the longest time! You know, I fix up so many of my acquaintances, Fia. This one time I found the perfect match for my favorite barista, and they’re married now. Oh, and I matched up my hair-dresser and my primary care physician. They’re madly in love. So when I ran into this woman, I knew—I just knew, that Dylan was right for her.”
“Aha.” Fia tried to imagine this faceless woman, but gave up. It didn’t really matter. “So where are we going?” She peered out the window.
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