by Sienna Blake
“Things are a little tense in there, huh?” He nodded in the direction of the house.
I sighed. “I didn’t want this.”
“It won’t be like this forever.”
“If I choose…it’ll just get worse,” I argued.
“But then it’ll get better. We’d accept your decision. Whatever it was.”
“Would you?”
Tristan swallowed hard. “It would hurt. If it wasn’t me. But I care about you too much to stay mad. And…they’re my brothers. I love them. I’d find a way to be okay with it.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“You don’t have to keep saying that.”
“I just feel like a bad person.”
“I can guarantee you that I don’t see you that way.” His hands slid onto my waist, his eyes dropping down to my lips.
I stepped away, turning to his worktable and clearing my throat. “Should we get started?”
I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to get too physical with any of the Cassidy brothers right now. It felt like throwing gasoline on a fire.
Tristan didn’t protest, although I couldn’t help but notice the disappointment that flashed across his face.
He took a seat next to me at the worktable. For the next hour, we sat huddled together, finalising the toy design. Tristan helped me refine the coloured, detailed copy of our design, taking his time and asking my opinion frequently. I felt truly appreciated for the first time in a long time. Contributing to the company was giving me a sense of purpose that I hadn’t realised I wanted. It felt like destiny had fallen into my lap. I had more ideas for toys, inspired by thoughts of my future child, but I hadn’t mentioned them to Tristan yet. I wanted to see how the other boys would respond to this design.
“I think we’re done,” Tristan said, putting down a coloured pencil and popping his knuckles.
I smiled as I looked over the design. It was beautiful. Gorgeous. And it had been my idea. “Are you going to give it to Aogán?”
“Yep. I’ll hand it over today.” My nervousness must have shown on my face because he added, “Don’t worry. He’ll love it.”
“Are you sure you’re not just kissing my butt so that I’ll choose you?”
“No way,” Tristan grinned, “but if you’re making a request, I’m open to the idea of it.”
I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
It was remarkable to see the change in Tristan over the last few weeks. He wasn’t shy with me at all anymore. There was no hesitancy in speaking with me. I got to see this playful side of him that he liked to hide away, his reserved nature having fallen away as we grew closer and closer.
His demeanour changed, growing more serious. “You know that I’m the best match for you, right?”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” I confessed.
He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers before pressing them to his heart. “Don’t you feel this connection between us?”
“Of course I do. But…I feel a connection with Aogán and Donncha too.”
He was quiet for a long moment. I prayed he wouldn’t let go of my hand. But I had just told him that his brothers were equal to him in my heart, and I’d understand if he didn’t want to be near me.
“Then, consider what you mean to me,” he said. “I don’t have an easy time opening up to people. You’re not the first woman I’ve ever been with…” An unreasonable, jealous anger surged at his confession. “But you’re the first one that I’ve been close to like this. We understand each other. You know this.”
“Yes, we do.”
“I can help you get over what happened to you in the past,” he promised. “I’ll help you forget all about him.”
I didn’t want to answer him. I couldn’t. The pressure was so heavy, I felt like it might break me. So I did the only thing I could. “Don’t make me choose,” I begged.
Tristan was quiet.
I tugged my fingers from Tristan’s grasp, unable to stand the way he was pleading with me with his eyes anymore. “We should head back to the house.”
Tristan followed me down the stairs.
When we reached the bottom, Tristan’s hand at my elbow stopped me. He spun me around to face him.
His blue eyes blazed into mine. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I have to make my case.”
“I know,” I whispered.
Tristan lowered his lips to mine, his fingers tangling into my hair. It was everything Tristan was to me, sweet but fierce, firm but tender. Overcome with emotion that I had been trying to suppress, I poured it all into my kiss back to him, trying to convey how I felt without words. Tristan pulled me closer, deepening the kiss until my fingers curled into his shirt.
A throat cleared nearby, making me jump away, breaking our kiss. Aogán stood at the entrance to the pole barn with a scowl on his face.
Shit…
Aogán
I tried to prepare myself for the possibility that I would catch Tristan and Orla in a compromising position, but that didn’t stop the knife that went through my heart at the sight of them kissing. I was about to explode, but I caught sight of Orla’s face. She looked so stricken, like she might turn and run.
I might not be as sensitive as Tristan or as charming as Donncha, but I was still going to try to win her over. Erupting with jealousy wasn’t a good start. But showing her that I could also be understanding would be. I swallowed my anger and tried to wipe the scowl off my face.
“I’m going into town to run an errand. Why don’t you come along? I could give you another driving lesson.”
“Okay,” she said, glancing at Tristan before stepping toward me.
Tristan’s face was impassive as she stepped away from him and closer to me, but I could see the longing in them. I tore my eyes away from my baby brother. I’d always done what I thought was best for this family. And if it were anything else they wanted—anything—I would have given it to them without hesitation. But not Orla. Not her. Not the first and only woman I ever loved.
I held out my hand, which Orla took, interlocking our fingers, and we walked out of the pole barn. The kitchen curtain fluttered, and I knew that Donncha was peeking out at us; no doubt he was raging. Orla tugged at my hand but I wouldn’t let her go, tension obvious in her face. She must have seen the curtains move, must have known what it meant.
I hoped that getting Orla away from the house for a little while would help her relax. It would also give me a chance to talk her alone.
At the car, I handed over the keys and she climbed into the driver’s seat. I climbed into the passenger seat as she adjusted the mirrors. She put the car in gear and started to drive down the road.
“You know,” I burst out, “your reappearance in my life is one of the best things to happen to me in a long time.”
“Really? You’re going to do this too? Couldn’t you have at least waited until we were off the property?” She glanced at me quickly before returning her attention to the road.
“You know patience isn’t one of my virtues.”
“That’s for sure,” she mumbled.
“I already feel like I’ve been waiting three years for you,” I continued. There was no way in hell I was letting this opportunity slide by without making my case. I didn’t know when the next time I would be alone with her would be. “You’ve finally returned, and I know that fate stepped in this time. We are meant to be.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I’ve only been to this house twice since we took over the company two years ago. I always had reasons not to come out and visit. This place is like a vacation for us, a chance to get away from the city. I always have so much work to do that it has been easy to stay away. Tristan comes down every couple of weeks to have time alone in the studio Da built for him, not me. Then I got guilted by my ma into taking time off for Christmas, and here you are. What are the chances of that?”
“Pretty small, I guess.”
“It’s a
sign, Orla. You and I are meant to be.”
Her lips pursed, a sign that she was thinking over my words.
We had driven down the road and were close to the town by now, and she was going slowly. I wasn’t sure if that was because she was nervous about driving around other cars, as the country road we took last time was deserted, or if she was simply distracted by our conversation. She was doing well behind the wheel, but I could understand that her first interaction with traffic could be intimidating.
“You know, your brothers are at the house too,” she said. “If you’re banking on fate, who’s to say that you’re the one I’m supposed to be with?”
“I say it,” I replied firmly. “I don’t fall easily, Orla. But you are the one for me. I know it. And I know that I could be a great dad to your child.” I reached out and placed my palm flat against her belly. “It could be our child. I love my brothers, but I’m the most responsible one of us, the most reliable. I’ll take care of you. Always. If you choose me, you and our baby would never want for anything, I promise you.”
I meant every word. I would treat her child as my own, loving it and raising it with all the luxuries my wealth could provide. I was all in. Once I stopped fighting my attraction to Orla, I was lost to her. I was hers.
Orla took a shuddering breath, her free hand resting for a moment on mine over her belly before holding the wheel again.
I knew that my words had touched her. I wasn’t as good with words as my brothers, but I had dug deep last night, analysing my feelings for her so that I could make myself clear. Now I just had to hope that she felt the same way.
“Stay on this road,” I said. “I want to show you something.”
I wasn’t going to waste our alone time together today. If Orla wasn’t sure about me, I was going to do my best to change her mind.
Donncha
Aogán was showing me up. That was so typical that I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen it coming. First, he beat me to the kitchen to make Orla breakfast. Then he’d whisked her away after she spent time with Tristan.
No doubt the other two had tried to convince her to pick them.
I didn’t like that I was the only one who hadn’t gotten any alone time with her. And that didn’t sit well with me at all. She had to know I was the best man for her. Right?
I was in the living room, flicking through television channels without focusing much on anything in particular, when I heard Aogán’s SUV pull up outside. Tristan was sitting in the corner of the room with his nose buried in a book.
Turning the TV off, I stood and made my way over to the window just in time to see Aogán opening her car door, a canvas bag hanging off one arm. His arm snaked around Orla’s waist, holding her close to his side as they walked to the porch. He said something into her ear and she laughed. My eyebrows popped. I hadn’t known Aogán to have much of a sense of humour lately. Until Orla. It was a sign of the impact that she had on all of us. Despite my agitation at competing with my brothers, I felt a warm affection wash over me for this woman.
The front door opened, and I turned away from the window as they both entered the house. Tristan looked up from his book but didn’t move. When Orla caught sight of us, her face lit up in a smile that reached her eyes.
“I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me that a new bookstore opened in town,” she said as she shrugged off her jacket. “I could spend all day in there reading.”
“Looks like you bought a few things,” I said, nodding at the bag.
“Aogán bought them for me,” she said, looking his way with stars in her eyes. “I stocked up on enough romance novels to keep me occupied until the new year.”
“Because you don’t have enough real-life romance?” I joked.
“Books are simple. You always know things are going to work out for the best.”
She had come into the living room with Aogán trailing behind her. There was something smug about the look on his face that made my eye twitch.
“Speaking of that,” I said, deciding that I was going to make my case here and now. I was sure that Aogán and Tristan had already done it, but I was never a shy one. “I’m the best option here. You know that, don’t you?”
Orla bit her lip, leaning her hip against the side of the couch. “Do you want to take this outside, maybe?”
I shrugged, unconcerned. “I’ve got nothing to hide. I’ll always be straightforward with you, unlike some people.”
My gaze flickered to Aogán, who was already glaring at me. Not surprising, seeing as I was clearly calling him out.
“You’re special, ginger snap. I’ve met a lot of women, but none of them are like you. I’ve never cared this much about a woman, and I know I can make you laugh like no one can. I know I can make you happy.”
I wanted her to agree to be with me right then and there. I was even petty enough to want it to happen in front of my brothers, but I’d never admit that out loud.
Her eyes darted to each of us, one after the other, uncertainty clear on her face.
“I’m sorry. I just… I can’t decide right now. Please don’t make me.”
She fled the room.
“Well done, asshole,” Aogán growled.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me you weren’t saying the same thing to her when you two were alone. Or you,” I said, turning on Tristan.
An uneasy tension crackled in the air as the three of us went to three different corners of the house.
If this was how it was now…what would happen to us when she chose?
My heart almost broke right there at the thought that I might not only lose the woman I loved, but my two brothers as well.
Tristan
Things were getting awkward in the house. After Donncha put himself out there for Orla yesterday, she’d gone to her room, alone. I had brought her dinner an hour later, just a basic roast beef sandwich and crisps, but she gave me a sweet smile and a kiss on the cheek in thanks. She wasn’t ready to talk though.
I knew that the three of us had thrown a lot at her throughout the day. It was like we’d all said everything we had to say, and now we just weren’t talking to each other. We’d become silent competitors of a civil war for Orla’s heart.
It was exactly what Orla didn’t want, but I couldn’t see a way to avoid it. If she couldn’t pick one of us, then we were stuck in this no man’s land, fighting over her. And she had to pick. It wasn’t like we could share her…right?
“The toy design is top notch,” Aogán said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
The four of us were in the kitchen. Orla was adding whiskey to the Christmas cake that she’d been working on for weeks, and the three of us were loitering shamelessly. This was the first time that we brothers had spoken to each other all day. All because of Orla.
“He gave you a new design?” Donncha asked, taking a bite out of an apple.
“Yeah, two days ago. Before…” Aogán trailed off. It was right before Orla confessed that she was pregnant.
I thought about that scene in the dining room. Orla had been so brave, standing in front of everyone and sharing her story. A confession about the toy design was a perfect opportunity for me to follow her lead.
“About that toy,” I said, leaning forward with my elbows braced on top of the island and my hands clasped together. “I need to admit something to the two of you.”
Orla’s eyes widened as if to say, do you really want to do this?
I did. If she was brave enough to admit her secrets, I would be brave enough to admit mine.
“What is it?” Aogán asked, using the no-nonsense tone of voice that he adopted when he was discussing business matters.
I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“I don’t want to be a toy designer anymore,” I announced. “I’m handing in my notice.”
“What?” Aogán and Donncha said at once.
“We all know that the last few toys haven’t been as successful as we need them to be. We’ve seen t
he numbers.”
“But what will you do?” Donncha asked.
“I want to be an artist, to pursue it as a career.”
Donncha slumped back in his chair. “Jesus, Tris. How long have you been feeling like this?”
“Too long,” I admitted.
“But you can design and do art,” Aogán said.
I shook my head. “My heart’s not in it anymore, Aogán. Even you can admit my last few designs haven’t been good enough.”
“That’s rubbish,” Aogán said, waving his hand. “It was a slump. The new design is excellent.”
“I didn’t design it,” I admitted. “It was Orla’s idea.”
Aogán looked to her as if wanting her to confirm this. She gave him a shy little half-smile and flushed.
“Orla is a natural at it,” I continued. “Which is why I think that you should give her my job.”
Orla
Three sets of eyes were trained on me. I blinked, letting Tristan’s bombshell of a suggestion sink in.
“M-me?” I stammered.
“You,” Tristan confirmed. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the last week or so. While we’ve been working on the toy together.”
I looked at Aogán, trying to gauge his reaction. Like always, his features were stoic, his emotions hidden. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
I could barely contain my hope. Me, design toys for a living? I’d had so much fun doing it with Tristan. For the first time in my life, I’d felt like I’d actually been good at something. I felt like I had purpose.
Which is why I felt like I had to say something. “I don’t want to cause any trouble with your current employees. I’m new to this. So someone else should probably take your position,” I suggested. “But I could come on board as a junior. I’d be the best employee you’ve ever had. I’ll take instructions. Do whatever you want me to. Learn quickly. I’ll throw everything into it, I swear.”
“I think it’s perfect,” Donncha said.
Tristan nodded. “You’d pick it up in no time.”
“What do you think?” I asked Aogán nervously.