by Lexi Archer
And yet at the same time it was so wrong. My wedding ring was burning on my finger. I thought about my husband waiting back home. I thought about how I'd teased him before I left for the evening never thinking for a moment that I'd actually get a chance to exercise my option with the list. And yet here I was backstage with this rock god standing behind me grinding his cock against my ass making that list suddenly all too serious. Guilt warred with desire and lust. It was a three-way fight between everything that told me I should stay faithful to my husband, my desire to fulfill his fantasy, and my desire to be with Lee Davis. I wasn't sure what emotion was going to win that fight.
"I'm married…"
Well. I suppose that answered which part of my brain was going to win the fight. Particularly since I included the married part but didn't mention that it was a semi-open marriage on my end if I'd just reach out and open it.
It just came out as soon as I opened my mouth. I hadn't intended to say it, but it appeared that my mind was making one last attempt at fidelity and faithfulness. One last shot at maintaining that whole "forsaking all others" bit of our wedding vows. And yet at the same time I couldn't help but feel a stab of disappointment. I couldn't help but feel like my mind had betrayed me by pointing out my married status. I could still tell him that it was an open marriage. At least with my husband's standing offer to let me have fun with another guy it would become an open marriage the instant I decided that's what I really wanted.
All of these emotions and conflicting desires were so confusing and they were crashing down around me in a feedback loop that was going to have me die from either embarrassment or arousal if I didn't get out of his arms soon, and yet the last thing I wanted to do was give up that feeling even though I knew I was probably just one in a long string of girls he'd seduced this way over the years.
That thought just excited me even more for some reason though. Sometimes a girl just wants to be seduced even if I was just one in a line of conquests for him. Being a conquest sounded so fucking hot, especially when I was being conquered by a guy I'd been fantasizing about for years!
To my surprise his reaction was to laugh when I told him I was married. He trailed a hand along my left arm leaving a trail of goose bumps and fire where his hands moved along my arm, and then down to where he gripped my wedding ring and the engagement ring with a decent sized diamond my husband bought for me back in the day.
"I really wish you hadn't told me that babe," he said.
I sighed again. This was it. Lee Davis was actually a good guy. He was going to step aside because he knew I was a married woman. All because I'd opened my big fat mouth. Was it odd that I felt disappointment and relief in equal measure? Actually, maybe a little more disappointment than relief, but whatever.
"Why's that?"
"Well I just thought you were the most gorgeous woman I'd seen at one of these concerts in a good long while before," he said. "But now that I know you're married… Well that makes you a challenge. And there's nothing I love more than a challenge."
He disengaged and it sounded like he was walking away. I stood rooted to the spot though. I couldn't move. Had he really just said that? I felt like I was about to have an orgasm right here staring out over the crowd and he hadn't done more than whisper a few words while making one hell of a promise.
"Are you coming?"
Oh hell those words could mean so many different things. And right now I knew exactly what it meant. My body was shivering and I felt an impossible pleasure between my legs. Holy shit. I really was in real danger of coming just standing here thinking about what he'd just said! So I stopped for a moment and caught my breath. Tried to get my body under control. I was so fucking turned on, but I needed to get a handle on this.
After a moment I thought I could trust myself to turn around and face him. And so I did, and I realized that I wasn't prepared at all. He'd pulled away from me but he was still right there. He was looking down at me with an obvious hunger and lust in his eyes. And I wanted nothing more than to jump on him, to grind my pussy against his cock and complete the delicious orgasm that had been building inside me. That had been threatening ever since he first pressed up against me.
Only I didn't. It was as though electricity was jumping between us and I thought I could touch the sexual tension between us by reaching out and waving my hand, but I didn't give into that energy that was surrounding us.
"Where are we going?"
"I was thinking back to the meet and greet?"
I sighed in disappointment. There were a lot of places I could think of going with him and the meet and greet was the last of them. Apparently the disappointment was plain on my face as well, because he smiled.
"Don't worry," he said. "It'll only last for a little while, and then maybe I can show you the tour bus?"
Crap. I was disappointed when he said he wanted to go to the meet and greet but at the same time going back to his tour bus was one hell of a step that might be going too far in the opposite direction. I could worry about that later though.
I smiled and reached out to take the hand he was offering. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't believe I was actually thinking about going along with this! I told myself that it wasn't cheating. I hadn't done the deed. Yet. All I was doing was following him, having a little bit of fun. Having a little adventure that I could think about for the rest of my life. That I could spin into a fantasy with Jake when I got home later tonight. That I could add to of the old schlick bank for when I got out my vibrating pal for a little solo fun.
I told myself that's all it was, but I had a feeling that so much more was happening. That I was being very naughty, particularly for a married woman. Never mind that my husband would probably enjoy that naughtiness. I let him lead me back to the meet and greet.
4: Meet and Greet
I'd been at the meet and greet for ten minutes and already I was so glad that we happened to run into Lee and get the real backstage experience. Because I know I would've been ridiculously disappointed if this was all we got with our backstage passes.
The meet and greet room was actually a greenroom of sorts. They had little snacks set up and there was a line of women running around the edge of the room and out into the hallway. All of them looked like they were ecstatic at the chance to meet Lee. As ecstatic as I'd felt earlier. And all of them were staring daggers at me.
I resisted the urge to smile at them. I resisted the urge to do anything but lean against the wall while Lee met each one of them in turn and signed something for them. Every meeting was the same. They squealed, gave him a hug or a handshake, and then as they walked past they glared at me.
Yeah, that's right ladies. I'm the one living out of the rock 'n roll fantasy tonight. The same rock 'n roll fantasy that I'm sure had been running through all their minds when they got their backstage passes.
I was still telling myself that this wasn't going to go anywhere. That it didn't mean anything. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel a little smug as I watched those women filing past the casting jealous glances at me. Whatever. I figured I could have a little bit of fun. There was nothing wrong with that, right? It's not like making a bunch of women at a backstage meet and greet jealous was cheating on my husband!
Though I seemed to be thinking that thought quite a bit. It's not like this was cheating on my husband. It's not like that was cheating on my husband. If I was constantly having to think that something wasn't exactly cheating on my husband maybe I was flirting dangerously close to cheating on my husband. Only there was still that question of whether it was really cheating if I had his permission. Intellectually I knew it wasn't, but in my gut it sure as hell still felt like cheating.
I chased those thoughts away. I concentrated on how delicious Lee look as looked as he stood there in his leather vest that showed off plenty of his muscled body. And I found myself imagining what it would be like to lean over him, to run my tongue over that body. To taste him. To be decidedly naughty for a married woman.
I probably should've stopped that line of thinking, but it was so much fun. It was like an extension of a fantasy that I'd had for years, ever since I saw the first album cover for the band in a long out of business music store, and now that I was actually standing just a few feet away from Lee I figured if there was ever a time to indulge my naughty fantasy then this was it.
Katie was off to one side talking with the drummer and getting her own fair share of nasty glances from the women filing through since Reg didn't seem to feel the same obligation Lee did to talk to the fangirls who came up to see him. Katie looked just as giddy as I was feeling. I never understood the appeal of the guy, but there was a large contingent of women who were absolutely obsessed with him. Almost as many as were obsessed with Lee. And tonight she had his complete attention.
Katie had always been obsessed with him. She'd always loved his work. And by his "work" I mean that she'd always loved the way he looked on their CDs and posters. I wondered if I looked as giddy as she did. If I looked as much the part of a silly girl with a crush as she did.
Seeing Katie with the drummer launched me back into my own little fantasy world. I imagined what it would feel like to have Lee pressing against me again. To have his body over mine as he pumped in and out of me. I'd had my vibrating plastic pal pumping in and out of me as I imagined that very scenario on so many occasions. I smiled and stared off into the distance as I imagined him calling out my name. It was almost as though I could hear him saying it.
"Cindy?"
I shook my head and turned to the source. Lee was standing next to me with a smile on his face.
"You decided to come back to reality for a bit!"
I looked behind me and realized that the long line of women waiting to get their picture taken and a quick autograph were gone. The room had mostly cleared out except for a few girls talking to members of the band here and there. I'm sure they were the ones the band members had decided to take back for a little bit of fun. I looked around for Katie but saw that she was nowhere to be found. Apparently she'd decided to go ahead and have her little bit of fun with Reg the drummer.
I licked my lips and looked at Lee. What kind of fun was I going to have tonight?
"I'm sorry," I said with a blush. "I was off in my own little world I guess."
I had no intention of telling him that I was off in my own little world imagining what it would feel like to have his cock sliding in and out of me. That wasn't the kind of thought that a good married woman had! It was the kind of thing I fantasized about with my husband in dirty talk, mostly for his benefit, but it was just that. Fantasy.
Still, I could tell he knew something was up from the way he smiled at me. And why not? I'm sure he had a sort of sixth sense for what groupies were thinking after doing this for so long.
I stopped and really considered that. He was used to what groupies were thinking? Is that how I was thinking of myself now? Did I really have so little self-respect that I was thinking of myself in terms of a one night stand for a rock star?
And yet all it took was one glance at Lee. One look at that face smiling at me. One quick glance up and down his muscular body and I realized that yes, if he wanted a groupie then that's exactly what I would be for him tonight.
It felt wrong, it felt like the last thing I should've been thinking since I was married and all, it still felt like a complete betrayal of my husband despite the permission, and yet at the same time it was the plain truth. I was head over heels in lust with this man, and I kept telling myself that Jake was into it even though that felt like a hollow excuse. Why couldn't I get over my reservations about this fantasy? Why was I having such a hard time taking yes for an answer from Lee and my husband?
The only thing stopping me from falling into temptation was myself. Assuming that temptation was even there for me to fall into. I still didn't know how seriously Lee was taking his little flirtation with me.
"So are you ready for that tour of the bus?"
Okay, so maybe he was a hell of a lot more serious about that than I'd originally suspected. I could feel my pulse picking up. My breath was coming in gasps. I felt lightheaded. Lee Davis just asked me to go back to his tour bus with him. There was no doubt in my mind as to exactly what that meant.
This was it. This was a moment of truth. There was no more lying to myself about was this meant. About what I was doing. I couldn't tell myself that this was just a bit of not so innocent fun.
What kind of woman was I? Jake said he was up for this, but I had no way of knowing how he'd react when he found out I'd actually gone through with it. I was playing with fire. Was I the kind of woman who could gamble and potentially throw away everything with her husband for a night of fun with a rock star?
"I don't know about that Lee…"
He blinked. He actually looked surprised. I wondered how often he had women telling him no thanks. Probably not very often from the way he was looking at me. Damn it. Had I actually just turned down Lee Davis?
Only he recovered in an instant.
"What's the problem?" he asked.
I was the problem. I still had a mental block about sleeping with another man. Fantasizing about it was one thing. Dirty talk was one thing. Having my husband tell me how much he wanted this was one thing. Actually doing it, taking the risks which included my entire marriage, was another thing entirely. Ultimately I was afraid. Afraid of what might happen even as I was eagerly anticipating what might happen tonight.
"No problem," I said. "Just this."
I held up my ring which sparkled in the light. It seemed to positively burn on my finger. Lee stared at it, licked his lips. Looked back to me and then up and down my body. I was surprised at the intensity of that gaze. That was a man who was on the hunt. He was on the prowl. And I felt a blush rising through my body. How was I ever able to turn that down? And yet I had.
And now that I'd said no even though every part of my body was screaming for me to say yes I was intrigued. I wondered how far I could push him by playing hard to get. I found myself getting a thrill and suddenly the nature of the game shifted ever so slightly.
"I told you that wasn't a problem," Lee said.
"It might not be a problem for you, but it sure is a problem for me!"
Lee took a step closer to me. Damn it. How could he do that to me? How could he make me feel so giddy, so turned on, just by being near me? This was like the thrill of a new crush. And yet at the same time it was mixed in with the sort of incredible thrill that you get when you realize someone that you've been really interested in for a really long time returns those feelings. Add in the fact that he was a rock star and it just made the feeling that much more intense.
My body was a mass of contradictions. I was shaking as though I had a chill. I was sweating as though I was running a fever. I was weak in the knees, and yet all I want to do was lean forward and use him for support. And the same time I felt so confident, so sexy, knowing that Lee Davis wanted me.
"That's only a problem for you if you let it be a problem," he said.
I closed my eyes. It wasn't even a problem. The only thing that I was letting be a problem was my reluctance to finally indulge my husband's fantasy. My phone buzzed periodically reminding me that Jake was out there wondering what the hell was going on but I couldn't very well pull my phone out and text him. Not with Lee right in front of me.
That was going to be an irritation though. A constant reminder on a night when I didn't quite want a reminder of my husband even though he'd given me permission to do just this. I was still worried how he'd react to fantasy becoming reality and I definitely didn't want to think about that while I was allowing myself to be seduced. So while he was concentrating on my face, and tits if we're perfectly honest, I surreptitiously reached into my back pocket and flipped the phone to silent. The buzzing stopped and it was just me and Lee. No husband inserting himself into the scenario via the magic of modern cell phone technology.
He moved in closer.
I could smell his breath. It smelled incredible even though he'd been out singing for the past couple of hours. He moved a hand up and ran it along my shoulder causing me to shiver again.
"Just think about it," he said. "One night. One night of incredible magic. And then you get to go back to this."
His hand ran down my shoulder until he was cupping my hand with my wedding ring on it.
I looked up at him and arched an eyebrow. I came to a decision. I wanted this. My husband wanted this. Lee obviously wanted this. Who was I to deny three people their fantasy night? I was going to do this. I was going to fuck this rock star behind my husband's back.
Not that he had to know that. Not yet. I decided to continue with the hard to get game and see how he reacted just because his first reaction had been so much fun. "So does that line usually work?"
He blinked and then he laughed. "Usually it does. I take it it's not working now?"
I wagged a finger at him. "You're being naughty."
That wasn't a yes and it wasn't a no. I wanted to keep him guessing. I wanted to keep making this a game because he seemed to be enjoying the chase and it was so fucking sexy pretending that I was still playing hard to get even if I knew that he'd won and I was giving in.
Lee held up his hands and as though he was admitting defeat. He had a grin on his face. He glanced around the room at the guys in the band who either had girls with them or were disappearing out of the room with their girls in tow.
"Okay, so you've got me," he said. "That works most of the time, but it's also refreshing to meet a girl who isn't so star struck that she gives in right away."
A girl who isn't star struck? If he was looking for that then I was the wrong girl because I was feeling more star struck right now than I'd ever been in my life. Admittedly the only time I'd ever met somebody who could even be considered somewhat a star had been one of the third or fourth place finishers from that stupid American Singer reality show who made an appearance at a local mall. And even then it wasn't my idea to go and see the third or fourth place contestant from the fifth or sixth year of that stupid reality show. That had been all Katie's idea.